Tuesday, March 7, 2017

puppets jumpscare

*wapish* top o' the mornin' to ya laddies!! my name is jacksepticeye and welcome to five nights at freddy's: sister location! this came out at a really weird time because i haven't been here all weekend! that's why this is delayed i just got back from visiting felix today. yesterday to you by the time you watch this but i just got back today i was gone away all weekend the day i flew out this dropped

and it was kind of annoying 'cause i couldn't play it right then and there so i'm gonna start it now. i'm curious to see what this is gonna be like i've played all the fnaf games on the channel i've never finished any of them on the channel. i apologize for that. but... mainly cause i lose interest or the games get too- get unnecessarily hard or anything but i've heard good things about this so i'm gonna get in with an open mind

and play it and see what it's like and it's gonna be very, very interesting. okay lets... why continue? i don't have a continue. 'night 1'. please don't scare me. but please do at the same time. cause that's the whole point of the game. girl: "daddy, why won't you let me play with her?" what was that? i mean, not the girl the '[blows air]'

handunit: 'welcome to the first day of your exciting new career whether you approached at a job fair, read our ad in screws, bolts, and air pits, or if this is the result of a dare we welcome you.' [jack laughs] handyunit: 'i will be your personal guide to help you get started. i'm a model 5 of the handyman's robotics and unit repair system. but you can call me hand unit.' [jack chuckles] 'hand unit'?

hand unit: 'your new career promises challenge, intrigue, and endless janitorial opportunities, please enter your name as seen above the keypad, this cannot be changed later, so please be careful.' 'mike'? as in 'mike schmidt'? also, that dude's voice, is that literally just the exact same dude from that portal mod i played is the portal stories mel? i've played two portal like-mods or custom stories on the channel at one point and one of them has a narrator that is literally that exact voice. so, that's all i can think about now is when i hear that is 'portal' um, can i just put in 'jack'? okay, let's see if i can put in 'mike'. where the fuck is the 'm' (at the bottom)

dah... let's put in 'd'. uhh. 'u' uhh. 's' 't'. my name is dust! handyunit: 'it seems you had some trouble with the keypad, i see what you were trying to type and i will autocorrect it for you. one moment... welcome, eggs benedict [jack laughs] what?! heh. that's- that's me! good ol' eggs benedict! good ol' jacksepticbenedict!

[jack laughs] just call me 'eggs benedict' from now on, please. that's all i want to be known as. eggs benedict are fucking delicious by the way. oh.. so this is freaky. i haven't seen much of this game. i've seen little gameplay segments here and there so i don't really know what to expect. and obviously i've seen the trailer and what the- the animatronics look like. that's... um.. oh god what's their names? i remember... handyunit: you can now open the elevator using that bright, red, and obvious button

dude... handyunit: 'let's get to work.' all i can hear is 'portal' um... it's really weird, though. that i'm talking to an ai this time. let's go! that's... that's bad news written all over already. 'danger! danger!' ooh! this is exciting! handyunit: 'allow me to fill the somewhat-frightening silence with some lighthearted banter. due to the massive success, and the even more so the unfortunate closing of freddy fazbear's pizza,

it was clear that the stage was set. no pun intended for another contender in children's entertainment. unlike most entertainment venues, our robotic entertainers are rented out for private parties during the day. and it's your job to get robots back in proper working order before the following morning.' okay.. so. it is called 'sister location' after all, um. and because i'm late to this as well everyone probably knows what's going on already and everyone's just sitting here laughing at me like

handyunit: 'you are now in the primary control module, it's actually a crawlspace' eww. 'between the two front show rooms. now, let's get started with your daily tasks. view your window to your left,' [ai] access denied. handyunit: 'this is the ballora gallery party room and dance studioâ„¢, encouraging kids to get fit, and enjoy pizza. let's turn on the light and see if ballora is on stage. press the blue button' d-do we have to? handyunit: 'on the elevated keypad to your left.' um... so yeah. get kids active but also eat our pizza so you can say 'we're promoting healthy fitness!' there's no-one there!

handyunit: 'uh oh! looks like ballora doesn't feel like dancing. let's give her some motivation. press the red button now to administer a controlled shock. maybe that will put the spring back in her step.' [jack laughs] why would you do that? ♫there's a pep in my step and i don't know why♫ [still laughing] okay. electric go! oh, i saw the reflection of these fuckers. handyunit: 'let's check the light again' what did i do? i clicked them! oh! the noses! that sounds like some fucking sick-ass beatboxing! cause i remember in the first one, or in all the other games you could click noses

oh!! that's a baby cry! or a very tiny bird getting choked. so what do you make? nothing. do you do one? no. do you? uehhhhh heh heeehhh... that's fucking weird. but also really awesome. okay. let's look again. there she is!

handyunit: 'excellent! ballora is feeling like her old self again.' ballora! that was the name. handyunit: 'and will be ready to perform tomorrow. now, view the window to your right. this is the funtime auditoriumâ„¢, where funtime foxy encourages kids to play and share. try the light, let's see what funtime foxy is up to.' okay, this i already- like- already- it's a bit more involving than the other ones were because you're not sitting here listening to 'hello, hello?' fucking phone guy. i know it was scott all along, but jesus christ that got obnoxious. after two games it was like 'okay, let the phone guy go.' um... so i like that it's like- it's very clearly inspired by 'portal' doing all the like 'you are now entering' kind of thing and like the subversive humor and whatever. are you not going to be here as well? um... so i like that there's different voice actors! about fucking time!

you're not there either. handyunit: 'it looks like funtime foxy is taking the day off' let's electrocute him! handyunit: 'let's motivate funtime foxy with a controlled shock.' yes! haha! now it's my turn to fight back against the animatronics! die bitch! [laugh] i mean, i'm going to regret that eventually. they're not there! handyunit: 'let's try another controlled shock.' can we just...? cmon, foxy! don't you like that sound? [laugh] i like that sound. there they are!

handyunit: 'looks like funtime foxy is in perfect working order, great job!' thank you! 'in front of you is another vent shaft, crawl through it to reach the circus gallery control module.' i dunno, man. also the fan fucking got bigger. the fan was like the thing that was in all the games. can i not crawl through these? last time you said 'access denied' and it sounded like glados you taking a little inspiration there, scotty boy? go faster. am i going to regret that? [laugh] [ai] motion trigger: circus gallery vent oh god. actually it doesn't sound, well it kinda does, but. if you've ever seen pacific rim it sounds like the voice in that which i think is just... ellen mclain? is that her voice that does glados? i think it's just the same voice anyways, but it sounds like that like 'double event'

that's kinda pulling me out of the game cause now i'm not immersed, all i can think about is 'portal' and 'pacific rim' here we go. now i'm climbing through the vents handyunit: 'on the inside of the glass is circus baby's auditoriumâ„¢, let's check the light and see what baby is up to' ohh. your noses don't do anything! you're boring! is circus baby not going to be here either? nah. why would she be? handyunit: 'looks like a few of the lights are out, but we can fix that later. let's encourage baby to cheer up with a controlled shock.' [laugh] cheer up, baby. here. zap. cause if anything i've seen people getting tased. don't tase me bro! there's no light in there that time.

aw, man! i can't just do it endlessly? c'mon. jesus christ. somebody is playing a fucking bad-ass song on this synth pad. handyunit: 'lets try another controlled shock.' hell yeah. this is cool though because the other times it's like you're sitting in the rooms and the animatronics come to you, so this time they're sitting in the rooms and you go to them. that's a cool mechanic. is she there? handyunit: 'lets try another controlled shock. is this her? she looks like harley quinn. i don't want to electrocute a baby! he says as he does it anyways also, i should point that i'm still kind of sick. you can probably hear it in my voice already. i'm on the arse-end of the sickness. so i got up, got down with the sickness and now i'm just like i'm sick of that song, move on.

um, but i might still sound a little nasal knock em' down, bro. handyunit: 'great job, circus baby. we knew we could count on you.' [laughs] handyunit: 'that concludes your duties for your first night on the job. we don't want you to leave overwhelmed otherwise you might not come back, please leave using the vent behind you and we'll see you again tomorrow.' is that it? you're really not going to come out? c'mon! i'll be here. doing my thing. i'll be here. welp. out the vent we go. is that really the first night done? oh no we go- the fuck was that? aw, now it's getting scary. jesus christ!

oh god! go! go! go!! i can't look behind me! [ai] motion triggered, circus gallery vent. ah! stop it! shift complete! yeah! i like the fucking 80s music. enjoy some time at home. i will! [sip of whatever's in that mug] ah, i like being at home. oh, it's a lot less stressful then being out there. narrator: 'another day, another dramatic entry in the lives of vlad and his distressed mistress.' what's happening? narrator: 'where will they go? what will they do? all of that and more happening now!'

i can just eat popcorn. vlad: 'clara! i tell you, the baby isn't mine! ' clara: 'count, i tell you that it is. you're the only vampire i've ever loved.' [laugh] clara: 'the baby turns his bottles into powdered milk' vlad: 'that doesn't mean anything' this is awesome! clara: 'he sleeps on the ceiling fan!' vlad: 'upright or upside down?' clara: 'why does it matter? you need to be part of your son's life!' vlad: 'i'm an old man, clara. i can't be a father.' clara: 'well then at least pay your child support, you deadbeat!' narrator: 'will vlad and his distressed mistress' what the fuck? narrator: 'find common ground? tune in next time!' oh, nice sound effect. that completely clashes with the rest of the whatever the hell was going on. i like it though. i like those shitty, cheesy shows.'

or, actually, i like when people make- girl: 'daddy? you let the other children go see her? why won't you let me go? there's like a [mock] in the background whenever that happens. handyunit: 'welcome back for another night of intellectual stimulation' i'm back! handyunit: 'pivotal career choices, and self reflection on past mistakes.' no problem, keep at it. handyunit: 'we're committed to create a unique and fulfilling work experience. one part of that commitment is ensuring that you don't get tired of the voice that you're hearing right now. using the keypad below, please select a new companion voice. for male, press 1, for female, press 2' there's no numbers! handyunit: 'for text only, press 3. for other options, press 4. um, imma press 'j'. uh. i wanna jackaboy voice. all the time when you're in there it's just like 'hey! whoever! turn on the lights! no! shock em!' tier. would you imagine if it was a jackaboy voice? god, you would not want to work here. that's how you stop people from working at five nights at freddy's.

put my voice in there. handyunit: 'it seems you had some trouble with the keypad' shocker. handyunit: 'i see what you were trying to type and i will autocorrect it for you.' handyunit: 'thank you for choosing angsty teen.' [laugh] is it gonna be reaper? aw, god. you can go in and see the fucking- you can go in and see the animatronics if you want. whatever. i don't even care. [mocking angsty teen] i'm going over to steve's house go in there and check on freddy. aw god, he's not even my real dad. [laughs] please let that be the voice!

we had the surfer dude in five nights at freddy's 3. can i leave? these things do something. but i can't click on them to do anything. what else can i click on? there really should be something to click on in all these games. let's get in! whoo hoo! uh, right. okay. wait so is that all.

handyunit: 'the elevator stopped. you know the routine... get out now or... whatever.' [laugh] handyunit: 'you can stay here if you want..' nice. you coulda got a little bit more angsty. like could of- i could of done it with a bit more of a 'chad?' or like uh, 'whatever, gregg.' kind of thing, but it's good, it's good. i like it. um. so what are the mechanics? like, how do i avoid getting scared? i didn't do anything the first night. through the danger signs we go, i guess. some killer clowns. handyunit: 'so, funny story. a dead body was found in this vent once,

mkay, so... not that funny.. but it's a story.' ha ha ha ha ha, i laugh at his story! [laugh] did sound like an angsty teen alright. um. god. what was i gonna say? oh, i was gonna say some killer clowns are gonna come and kill ya. that's like a thing going around on the internet, right now isn't it? wait, could i just sprint through this? what am i looking out for!?

i don't know how to avoid the jumpscares yet. i don't know what they are. i just powered through that vent. i'm like a baby on all fours just- handunit: 'okay, let's start with your nightly chores.' handyunit: 'you should check on ballora and make sure she's on her stage. but... whatever.' [laugh] you can check on her, i guess. but whatever. hahaha, that's my favorite. oh she's there! kinda. handyunit: 'huh. i guess ballora has better things to do.' handyunit: 'lets zap her.. that should be fun.'

why? no! she was being all nice! she was just in the shadows! bro, the angsty teen should know all about being in the shadows. ugh. my life is endless torment. everything around me hurts. no-one understands my plight. #15yearsold [laugh] sorry! [warbled noises]

oh... oh i don't like that sound. what the fucí­kì·...? this is freaky. what was that?! handyunit: 'let's check on funtime foxy. make sure he's ready for showtime tomorrow. i'm not done checking on ballora! we didn't see if she showed up. okay you're in the shadow as well! handyunit: 'great'

shame! ding. handyunit: 'there seems to have been a problem with the voice synthesizer. default settings have been restored. please proceed through the vent ahead of you to circus baby's auditoriumâ„¢ i miss chad. i liked when chad was here. can we have him back? please? do you do anything?

this is fun. so far i'm not scared. [laugh] uh. right, okay. lemme go- oh! i didn't check! man one last- oh there's a keypad here too! ohh... that's cool! one more for the road! [chuckle] okay! c'mon circus baby!

uh... trigger motion detector again? [ai] motion trigger: circus gallery vent circus gallery vent thank you glados. power through! handyunit: 'circus baby had a busy day today let's check the light and make sure she's in proper working order.' is she all tuckered out? does she need a snoozer-snooze? not there.

handyunit: 'oh circus baby, we aren't here to play hide and seek.' handyunit: 'let's encourage baby to come out of hiding with a controlled shock.' there's a keypad here as well oooh. secrets. i feel secrets! [cough] it don't work! handyunit: 'lets try another controlled shock' another? the first one didn't work. crap. handyunit: 'there seems to be a power malfunction that is affecting our ability to properly motivate baby.'

handyunit: 'please stand by while i reboot the system.;' oh jesus. handyunit: 'i will be offline momentarily during this process' oh jesus... handyunit: 'various other systems may be offline as well such as security doors, vent locks, and oxygen.' of course, thank you. handyunit: 'commencing system restart' oh balls. also, is that balloon boy? [ai] motion trigger: entry-way vent. oh no! [ai] funtime auditoriumâ„¢ maintenance vent opened [ai] ballora galleryâ„¢ maintenance vent opened oh fuck.

oh no! [whisper] that's a weird sound. baby: 'i don't recognize you.' baby: 'you are new..' baby: 'i remember this scenario.' baby: 'however,' baby: 'it's a strange thing to want to do...' baby: 'to come here.' baby: 'i'm curious what events would lead a person to want to spend their nights in a place like this.'

baby: 'willingly. maybe curiosity? maybe ignorance?' money. [laugh] baby: 'there is a space under the desk. someone before you crafted it into a hiding place, and it worked for him.' baby: 'i recommend that you hurry though.' baby: 'you will be safe there.' baby: 'just try not to make eye contact.' oh god. baby: 'it will be over soon.' baby: 'they will lose interest.' what will be over soon? who's 'they'?

also who came before me? 'under the desk'? well that's informative. oh jesus. 'grab here. click and drag' ohhh.... neato! oh that sounds freaky! ohh......

god i don't like that! [bidybab(s) whisper]'hello in there.' hi! oh there's something there... where'd it go? [bidybab(s)]: 'someone's inside...' no.. i'm not.. i swear. [bidybab(s)]: 'is it the same person?' no! that was mike! i'm...dave!

fuck you. oh fucking jesus christ!! oh god. that's freaky. it said not to keep eye contact though. [bidybab(s)]: 'knock knock' uh... who's there? oh! no! no! no you fucking don't nuh-uh! i have the grip of a lion! force of nature! yeah! no-one come in my safe space!

♫my safe space♫ ♫bully-proof windows♫ i'm singing to get rid of the tension. [bidybab(s)]: 'we always find a way inside..' what? fuck off! stop opening my door! i don't want you in my personal space! this is my cubby hole! get your own! who cares if funtime foxy makes fun of you cause you got short legs?!

stay out there! grrrrr. no no no no no! c'mon, c'mon, c'mon! yes! the power of love! [bidybab(s)]: 'she's watching us.' who?! [bidybab(s)]: 'we have to leave, now.' [bidybab(s)]: 'we will see you again soon..' ahahah! bye-bye now!

[laughs] i don't wanna- oh god. woo hoo! baby: 'when your guide comes back online, he is going to tell you that he was unsuccessful.' baby: 'that you must restart the system manually.' baby: 'he will then tell you to crawl through ballora galleryâ„¢ as fast as you can to reach the breaker room.' baby: 'if you follow his instructions, you will die.' oh god. baby: 'ballora will not return to her stage anymore.' baby: 'she will catch you.'

baby: 'the power will be restored shortly.' baby: 'when you crawl through ballora galleryâ„¢, go slowly, she cannot see you.' baby: 'and can only listen for your movement.' baby: 'when you hear her music become louder, she is growing near.' baby: 'listening for you.' baby: 'wait, and be still' oh jesus christ. handyunit: 'thank you for your patience. it seems that the power system cannot be restarted automatically.' handyunit: 'you will need to restart the power system manually.'

handyunit: 'please return to the primary control module.' okay, do i have to open this? try to open- oh. 's' to go back. how? there's no vent behind me. she said not to listen to his advice though. well then she told me to do the fucking thing he's telling me to do anyways. that was freaky! who is that? also, have any of you watched the movie 'ex-machina?'

it's a really, really good movie. it's a movie about a dude who goes in and he talks to like a synthetic. like a lady who's a robot, but you don't know if she's like part-human, part-robot kind of thing, and she talks back. it's the exact same thing as this! she almost has the exact same voice as well! 'do you believe that i am real?' kind of thing. and she's like- it's a very, very, very good movie. i definitely suggest that you watch it. but the whole like power going down

and then her talking to you kinda stuff. it's the exact same scenario. now that's all i can think about when that voice comes on. [ai] motion trigger: circus galleryâ„¢ vent. god, i need to be prepared for that. okay. you said go slow. this isn't the thing, right? no. i have to go through ballora galleryâ„¢. not the vent. okay, yeah, cool. handyunit: 'you will now be required to crawl through the ballora galleryâ„¢ using the vent to your left to reach the breaker room handyunit: 'it is recommended that you stay low to the ground and reach the other side as fast as possible as to not disturb ballora.'

handyunit: 'i will deactivate myself momentarily as to not create a auditory disturbance.' handyunit: 'deactivating...' [laugh] god, i wish that you could do that with some people. like 'you're so annoying. you're causing an auditory inconvenience upon my person. could you deactivate? just be like 'deactivate, steve! deactivate!' [laugh] um, yeah okay. that's what she's telling me not to do. because he said to go as fast as possible as to not get detected, and then she's going to be like "hey, go slow." [ai] ballora galleryâ„¢ maintenance vent opened

okay. oh. can't see shit, captain. ♫[ballora's tune plays]♫ that's cool! the sound goes around you. probably can't hear that unless you're wearing headphones. i don't know if that actually shows up on youtube either. ♫[freddy's power outage theme plays]♫ does that music count? oh god this is freaky. ♫[ballora's theme starts up and dies back down]♫ shhh.. shut the fuck up!

[laugh] i like this [ballora's theme softly plays] go away twinkle toes! ♫[ballora's theme plays softly and slow]♫ that's cool. nuh-uh! ♫[ballora's theme plays softly in the distance]♫ nein! nein! no porfavor-

handyunit: 'it seems you are taking a long time, please proceed as quickly and quietly as possible.' shut the fuck up! pot kettle black, i know. i get it. jacksepticeye telling someone that they're too loud. but he said 'i'll turn myself off so i don't cause an auditory inconvenience. hey, go over there! [laughs] okay, don't pop up in front of my face. i don't like jumpscares. ♫[ballora's music grows louder as she nears by]♫ oh!

oh no! she walked in front of me like a fucking t-rex! oh that was cool. i was just about to say 'how the hell is she getting around me without me able to see her? go, go, go, go, go, go, go. how fucking big is this place? the door's right there. just let me go. she is kinda like a t-rex cause she said if i stop moving she won't see me don't know how she doesn't see this giant spotlight on the floor. it's right there... ♫[ballora's theme softly plays]♫ ewwwhh.

it would be so funny if we were going through and it was like 'her music would let you know that she is near.' and then it was just like '[hardcore punk music!!!!]' like fucking hardcore death metal. it would be so fucking awesome, or just slipknot. ♫i felt the air rise up in me♫ [laughs] ♫[ballora's theme plays]♫ go away ballora! am i even getting closer? i can hear my stomach rumbling cause i'm really fucking hungry [laughs] ♫[ballora's theme plays again]♫ no thanks!

yeah! nice! no jumpscares for jackaboy! handyunit: 'you may now interface with the breaker control module.' ooooooooohh [chica?] handyunit: 'using the interface may disrupt nearby electronics, if you feel you are in danger, feel free to disconnect the interface temporarily until it is safe to reconnect.' okay, press space to play mascot response audio bon bon: 'calm down and go back to sleep, no one is here' freddy: 'hahaha hello, hello again.' is that fucking harley quinn and the joker interacting? wait, what do i do?

freddy: 'bon bon say hi to our friends.' bon bon? bon bon: 'go back to your stage, everything is okay.' ohh..funtime freddy's there and he has like a bonnie puppet on his hand oh okay. wait. where's the fucking breaker thing i have to use? oh. wat. oh he moved! go back! thank you! cause the danger level is up there in the right. okay.

aw c'mon. oh they restart. please? please?? bon bon: 'oh, calm down. i think it was just a mouse' oh!! do i have to do all of them? or do i have to figure out which one is which? stop it! bon bon: 'nope! no-one is here' circus galleryâ„¢. okay. do i have to do all of them? funtime freddy: 'bon bon! say hi to our friends.' bon bon: 'it's bedtime, let's go back to our stage.'

go back please. he has a cool voice. 'bawhn bawhn' bon bon: 'you must be hearing things, silly. [giggle]' that sounds so much like harley quinn. i'm gonna get jumpscared. i'm gonna get jumpscared!! bon bon: 'calm down and go back to sleep, no-one is here!' funtime freddy: 'i see you over there in the dark! c-come on out!' you don't fucking see shit! bon bon: 'go back to your stage! everything is okay.' i'm trying to figure out which one is which 'funtime a'... 'ballora gallery' ballora gallery, why the fuck not? bon bon: 'everything is okay, let's go back to sleep.'

yes please! stay over there! yikes, yikes, yikes. bon bon:' oh calm down, i think it was just a mouse.' oh! fuck no! go back you cock! which one is this? parts and services? elevators? bon bon: 'nnope! no-one is here! 'freddy: 'i know you're over there somewhere.' oho ho ho... elevators. those i need danger level 2. stop, stop, stop. it's giving me anxiety.

bon bon: 'it's bedtime. lets go back to our stage' but they kinda stay up which is nice bon bon 'you must be hearing things silly [giggle].' fuck bacìkì¨ therìe. ì›ayì¢- fížuì£cí•kì° ìyoíœuì’ baí§cí¬kì¥ tìªheì³re.ì¶.í. do i really have to do all of these? this is stupid! freddy: 'well hello againnn.' bon bon: 'you must be hearing things, silly. [laughs] oh. no boy. get the fuck back to your stage bon bon: 'calm down and go back to sleep!' i'll punch him. i'm not afraid to punch a freddy.

i like that it's kinda taking some of the mechanics from fnaf 2 though. oh god, oh god. something lagged . funtime freddy: 'i see you over there in the dark! come on out.' bon bon: 'calm down and go back to sleep, no-one is here!' noo!! listen to harley quinn! great job, this completes your tasks for the night. please proceed through the ballora galleryâ„¢ with care, and we'll see you back here tomorrow. no! don't make me go back through! uh god, that was stressful. that stressed me the fuck out ... what's that? that's not ballora!

it's like a snoring kind of sound.. i'm not hearing any music. ballora: 'is someone there..?' noo... i mean- ballora: 'i can hear someone creeping through my room.' heh, well. aren't i lucky that you're blind as fuck? the ì®teí¨mptaí—tí—ioì¶nì´ tì»oí ì«spì™rì†iìˆnt íiì¤s ìÿhì®uí‰ge.í ballora: 'perhaps not..' yeah! keep that train of thought going! i mean.. am i wearing fucking salami on my feet? [mock]

the silence but the subtle sounds are freaky. what? i could have just kept walking through that and nothing would have got me. ♫ the more you knooow♫ [laugh] that was cool. yay! oh! daddy loves his stories! narrator: 'as the sun sets, so also does another chapter in the saga of love lost between vlad and his distressed mistress' narrator: 'can they be reconciled? can their love rise again? that and more happening now.' happening now. vlad: 'clara! the baby isn't mine!'

clara: 'it is, vlad! they had trouble catching him in the nursery today!' vlad: 'so what? lots of kids get hyper and run around and stuff' clara: 'they had to knock him out of the air with a broom!' vlad: 'i have to go.' clara: 'they're going to dock your paychecks.' vlad: 'they can't do that. i'm a vampire! i don't get paychecks!' clara: 'you work at the graveyard shift at the fry-me-taco! don't lie to me!' [count impression] narrator: 'oh the humanity!' [laugh] narrator: 'when will the heartbreak end? when will these two ships passing in the night rekindle their long lost love?' narrator: 'tune in tomorrow to find out!'

oh it's so good. that's good tv right there! [laugh] but clara, i don't know what you say. it's also like a play- girl: 'daddy? won't you let me go play with her? she's so pretty and shiny. didn't you make her just for me?' who the fuck is that? okay handyunit: 'welcome back to another pivotal night of your thriving new career,' yea it is! narrator: 'where you get to really ask yourself, 'what am i doing with my life?' [laughs] handyunit: 'what will my friends say? and most importantly, will i ever see my family again?' [laughs] handyunit: 'we understand the stresses of a new job, and we're here for you.'

handyunit: 'to help you reach a more stable and relaxing frame of mind, we offer several musical selections to help make this elevator ride as relaxing and therapeutic as possible.' handyunit: 'we offer contemporary jazz, classical, rainforest ambiance, as well as a wide selection of other choices. using the keypad below, please type the first few letters of the musical selection you would prefer. okay. 's' handyunit: 'it seems you had some trouble with the keypad.' i was going to put in slayer. handyunit: 'i see what you were trying to type and i will autocorrect it for you.' handyunit: 'thank you for selecting: casual bongos' [laugh] that's what i call my buttcheeks. my casual bongos. handyunit: 'now that your elevator experience has been customized to your needs, and you're thoroughly relaxed.' handyunit: 'it's worth mentioning that due to your lacklustre performance yesterday, your pay has been decreased by a substantial amount.'

handyunit: 'please enjoy the rest of your descent.' my fokkin decent into mí¢ì¯ì™ì´ì´adì…ì™nì†ì¡í‚í™eì¯ìˆsí©íƒížì†sì­í›ì¢ìÿ and dí’eì‹ížìžìšpì„í«ì´ì‡rì‹í•essií«ìˆoí¤ì«ìžní„íš cause i'm not getting paid enough. also, i like how the- i'm going to leave this episode here. um. well, when the elevator stops. wait, are you gonna say more? night 3, baby! we good? oh. i have to press the button to go out. okay, so i am going to leave this episode here. i like the whole vlad and clara thing. the vampire and his... wife? girlfriend? i dunno. that it's kinda a play on the whole fnaf1 kind of thing like "you're working the graveyard shift" kind of thing.

well fnaf1, i say fnaf1 cause that was the first one that introduced the whole concept of that and the paychecks getting deducted. and all that kind of stuff. i see what you're doing and it's taking a lot of elements from the other games which is kinda cool. like the whole stopping and listening thing from fnaf4. the going down and resetting stuff from kinda fnaf3. resetting your audio and that kind of stuff, and also the panels coming up from all the other fnaf games. it's cool! it's very, very different, i mean it's still five nights at freddy's of course. um, but the fact that it's changed up its voice actors, again, all i can hear is the portal dude, and the robot from ex machina. you should go watch that movie by the way. it's very, very good.

but i like the fact that the first and second night were completely different from each other so maybe this night will be completely different as well. that's pretty cool. and i like the voices are kinda freaky like 'someone's in there...' kind of thing so i dunno. we'll see what the whole game is overall. the whole vlad and clara thing juxtaposes, i mean going home at the end of the day is fun and all, i mean i'm a sucker for those cheesy drama things when people make fun of them, but the fact that you're just sitting there munching on popcorn kinda juxtaposes against this. i'm not overly scared, i'm tense. i guess you could say that's all the games have ever been, but i'm not scared. i'm not scared at all. not even a tiny bit. so, and i haven't been jumpscared. i seem to have some serious luck when i go through the fnaf games. the first videos are always like the first two nights and i get through them without any hassle at all. and then i don't finish them because i keep getting jumpscared and can't pass the other nights, what up with that? but thank you guys so much for watching this episode. if you liked it, punch that like button in the face. like a boss, and highfives all around. wa-pssh! wa-pssh!

thank you guys and i will see all you dudes, iì±n ì•tìºì­ì‘í—hí›ìšíšì¤eì¦í¦ ì¿í•nì¿í§eì´xì‡ítìžì’ì¥ì´í  ìíˆví’í§í‡í… ì¼ì‘ì¨iíœí ì£ìÿì  ìšdí‡ížìœí‰í ì„ìªì£íˆí¢eí ì– ì†ížíˆíì·oí©í‘ì– ií¢í¥ì£ì¾'ì¶mìšì¢ì½ì©ì¬ íœì³fì¡ìžìºì¥íinì“ì¡ì‘aì«ìì†ì¬lílì„ì¤í‘yì†ì«ì³í£ ìžíì»ì’hì¿í¡ì¼ìºeì¿ì¨í§ì…ì”rìˆeíšìº fìƒì¨inì¶ì²í‰í–aí‘í›ì‡lí¬lí¡ì„ì–yì›ìì—ì¥ reì«ì‰ì®leíìˆì ìì¢aì•í¢í¢íì‡sedí‘ì¿ìžížìª í í…í”fì í­rí“í®ì¬oì°íˆmì¯ì  ì£ìšì‡tí”ì¼í‚hì¯ì®ií¦í›ì¨ì˜ìsí‹ ì¼í˜iíò‰dì·ií¯í­í™oì–ì½ì½í¬ì§tíœìºì²'ì˜ì³ì¸í¡ì™síí…ìÿì¿ ìì›í­í…ì‘mí˜ò‰ì«í€í…inì‚ì‡íì˜dìœì‹íÿ. fí’ì–ì¸ì¾í¡eì—ì·ìœeì—í†ì¹ì˜íƒblí–eíˆ.ì—í¦ì˜ì¬.í’í›ì¢ì¨íÿ. yí‹oì²ì¤ìì¯uíší¯ í‰ìžíƒíškí¬ìžìºì§ìˆnì‚íœí‹oí™ì ì‰wì˜ ò‰ì±mìì·eí­ì‘ì”!í“íšììµì aíì¾ì«ìí¨í‹nì•ì·ì±tií¬í‡ížì±ì¸ì«í€ ìšì•ì·í¦íœìªì£í¨síí’íÿíì„ eí˜ì¸ì™ìœì³í‘íˆìˆì ì–í”í†ìšpì”í©í«ì½ì—ì™í› tíìžìªì­í¥í i ì¸í¬íí§ìºcí‹ì€ì‚í¤ò‰ì¿í“ í¦í“eì±í†ìˆì¿í¢í¦ ížyíì‹í‡ì¯ eì»í¤íœì‡ìœì‚ìœ i'm gonna stay on my fucking bongos!

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