Tuesday, January 31, 2017

puppets ideas

thank you. very excited to be here, and particularly happy to speakafter michael's talk. "the occupation authoritiesare not entitled to name the members of the assemblycharged with drafting the constitution. there is no guaranteethat such a convention will draft a constitution which upholds the iraqi people's interestsand expresses their national identity" fatwa issued by ayatollah sistani.

in june 2003,the coalition provisional authority, the transitional government in iraq following the ouster of saddam husseinthree months earlier, faced a crisis regardingthe state-building project in iraq. the cpa, createdby the department of defense, and composed mainly of us personnel, took charge of layingthe foundation of the state by vesting itself with executive,legislative, and judicial power over the newly emerging iraqi government.

the cpa appointed the governing councilcomposed of iraqis, 24 out of 25 exiles, who would participatein drafting the new constitution. paul bremer, head of the cpa, did not anticipate what was about to happen. immediately following his decisionto recruit constitution writers, grand ayatollah sistani,the most senior cleric in iraq today, issued a fatwa, or a religious decree, declaring that only an elected assemblyshould draft a new constitution of iraq. at that time, bremer dismissed himas a disgruntled aging cleric.

to bremer's surprise, however,like a light switch, a single fatwa by sistani managedto cripple the legislative process. that fatwa, considered binding by shiites who follow the ayatollah, led the governing councilto halt the process altogether until november of that year,when bremer agreed to sistani's plan. >from that point forward,analysts identified sistani as the most influentialpolitical figure in iraq. this is a story about the us planto reconstruct iraq based on the us perceptionsof what iraqis needed and wanted.

the united states was challenged. they were not challenged by the kurds, who had been agitatingfor an independent state on their own since the 20s. they were not challengedby the secular nationalists, who flocked back to iraq after 2003claiming a piece of the pie. nor were they challengedby the sunnis, who had the most to lose; after all, 82 years of minority rulehad quickly come to an end. they were challengedby the most unlikely actors,

the shiite clerics, the men in beards. this is counter-intuitive because the shiitesmake up over 65% of the population, over 15 million people in the country. they could shape the state in their image,they could usurp power, after all, they suffered morethan any other group under saddam hussein. rather than doing so, they were committed to the principles of democracy, equality,pluralism, and human rights. the clerics challenged the united states to uphold

its very own principles of democracy. the clerics were ignored, but they proved to be the most progressivevoices in the new iraqi state. if you look at a map of iraq, the us plans for reconstructionwere based on this tripartite. it is the classic artificialityof iraq example, where you seethe northern province of mosul, typically considered the home to kurds, baghdad to sunnis,and basra to shiites of the south.

and this artificially of iraq,like the rest of the modern middle east, where we hear these storiesof winston churchill crafting the state after a liquid lunch,if you know what i mean, and sometimes, drawing linesin a sort of a zigzag, crooked. the idea though is that the iraqi state,like the rest of the middle east, is artificial. but there's more: that the united statesin going into iraq in 2003 assumed that the shiiteswould want to secede from the state,

that they would greet the american soldiers with candies and flower, and that they needed to be saved because they were apathetic,apolitical, and incapable, and that essentiallythat strongman saddam hussein had held together otherwisewarring factions for decades. so this sectarian lens through which the united states viewed iraq led the united statesto put forth a series of policies, like the policy of de-ba'athification,

which, within days of taking over iraq, removed the ba'ath party,mainly composed of sunnis, from power, vetting candidates to their liking, mainly western, educated,secular men in suits that spent most of their life in europe, and imposed the confessional modelof statehood on iraq, that the state was organized by sect. so the assumption is sunnis would only vote for sunnis, and shiites would only votefor shiites, and so forth.

so this federal state structurethat was put forth by the united states troubled many iraqis. as a matter of fact,after then senator biden in 2007 actually imposed a federal model for the state of iraq, iraqis took to the streets, simply because they wanted to resistthese ethnosectarian symbols. so the assumptions of the united states led policymakersdown a long perilous path. the united states pulled out of iraqby december of 2011,

but the clerics were not invincible. they were after all dealing with giants. so when you hear about bombingsand factionalism in the state today, it's because it'll be years before the iraqis are able to win back or deal with the narrative set forth by the united states. but in this mess, the ayatollahs of iraq,the highest-ranking shiite clerics, have been among the most vocal to helpreconstruct the narrative of the state in the way that they perceivediraqi unity to be.

that is, they wrote prolifically,they issued powerful fatwas, they mobilized hundreds of thousandsof people in the street in reaction to the us initiativeson the ground, and they had qualmsabout these us assumptions. and so, from day one, pretty much 13 years into the war, they were working hardto debunk that artificiality myth. they talked about long history of cooperation for hundreds of years, and they argued there had beenno precedent for division, that for hundreds of yearsthe norm in iraq was mixed neighborhoods,

that mosul was mixed, baghdad was actually composedwith more shiites than sunnis, and basra had been sunni led. so this tripartite vision,which is plaguing iraq, is something that the ayatollahshave taken as their personal mission. after all, under saddam hussein's iraq, these were all mixed neighborhoods, and there was lots of intermarriageand cooperation. if you'd typically ask a person in iraq,you know, "are you sunni or shiite?",

more often than notyou'll find the answer, "we're neither, we're sushi," because they're a combinationof sunnis and shiites. but they stressed more than anything else that the sectarianismthat the united states assumed would be continued post-2003 was really a productof saddam hussein's survival policies. that he divided and ruled people,tortured and expelled shiites, tried to strip them of their arab identityand pretty much labeled them as persians,

so that they could never havea claim to the state. but nonetheless, the ayatollahsremained true to their principles of no partition, that the united stateswas talking iraq into pieces, and remained calm. the most senior cleric in iraq- the fatwa i had shown before - is ayatollah sistani. right, he's the highest-ranking, has the most followersof any ayatollah in the world today, inside and outside of iraq.

- so if you are a shiitein the united states, you're looking for an ayatollah to follow, you're free to follow himor one of the other high-ranking ones - and he had been previouslydetached from politics, that is, prior to 2003, he had only issued one political fatwa. that's probably because he waspracticing dissimulation; in 1980, and again in 1999, saddam husseinhad put to death rather savagely two of the highest-ranking ayatollahs. but again, sistani was viewedthrough this lens of a binary:

that we can perceive that we havequietest ayatollahs in iraq, and, on the other end,activist ones in iran. the quietest ones totally aloof,writing their books, nothing to do with politics; and on the iranian side, everybody knowswhat 1979 represented, right? the first shiite islamic state that obviously the united stateswas not so excited about. ayatollah sistani's political positionshave been anti-khomeinist, he always talks abouthaving government accountability,

universal ideals, never ever speeches that are simplyabout the qur'an, or flowery words, he's a pure pragmatist, and looksfor actual policy and actual solutions, always guarding against the dangersof federalism and sectarianism, and he's now knownas the electronic ayatollah par excellence because right now you can goonto facebook, ask a question, and he has such a large following. he did participate in politics because the binary of quietismand activism is much too simplistic.

i would argue that there's a middle ground. he need not take over the stateand become head of state to actually become important politically. so, during the elections of iraq, he allowed his picture to be usedfor the first major shiite bloc, the united iraqi alliance. and basically, if you see all the imagesduring election time, you'll see that it looks like he's the one actually running for head of state, because he wanted to show that he can bethe symbol, really, of iraqi unity.

and most of his demonstrations and rallieswere of peaceful nature. he's revered. and you can see here,(arabic) "no to federalism," so there was widespread domestic support for his ideas in trying to resistthe united states. i don't really have time to talkabout all of the ayatollahs of iraq, but i'd like to just briefly mentionayatollah baqir al-hakim, who was assassinated six monthsafter returning to iraq after 20 years in exile.

initially, he wason the same page with iran, yes, we want to havea rule of jurisprudent; the cleric would be head of state;it would be a purely islamic state. but after he returned to iraq,he completely abandon that idea. he said what iraq actually needsis a strong central government, it needs to be builton notions of popular sovereignty, and thought that a coalition governmentwith a parliamentary system would be the best model for iraq. he's actually credited - would have beenthe fifth ayatollah if he wasn't killed;

there are four left in iraq now - for laying downthe key pillars of the state, the ballot box,protection for ethnic minorities, respecting islamic lawwithin a state structure, and human rights. and he even refinedthe position of the grand ayatollah to account for a separation, where one can conceiveof a grand ayatollah who runs religious affairs,

and one that has a purely political roleunder a democratically elected state. in summary, about all these ayatollahs, from day one,they've all been very committed to the notions of popular sovereignty, and that they argue that the contextin iraq really, really matters. that is, there's no islamic model that works to fit all shiitesall over the world, that we should now lookfor candidates who are qualified. so most of the ayatollahs actually stoppedendorsing political parties and said,

the better chance is if we just lookfor candidates that are most qualified, so that we're not fallinginto that sectarian trap. they also did not react to the sunniswho started an insurgency trying to do what saddam did: say these guys are persians,strip them of their identity, and, you know, call themthe lowest of the lowest, and try to say that they're atheists, or polytheists, or other things. and most importantly,the ayatollahs of iraq, actually surprisingly, had a universal,non-violent approach to the united states;

all of their fatwas and religious decrees had argued no arms, no insults to the united states, only peaceful resistance. why does it all matter? ayatollah khomeini. this was actuallya piece out of "time" magazine, it says, "the ayatollah orders a hit". he was the grand cleric, the jurisprudent,who came back to iran after 1979 and put togetherour first shiite islamic state,

an authoritarian theocracy. and talking about fatwasand democratic fatwas, i'm sure many people in the audiencewere thinking, "wait a minute, this is the guy that orderedthat fatwa for salman rushdie, putting the bounty of millions of dollars on his head because of that novel he wrote'the satanic verses'. aren't fatwas about terrorismand jihad and anti-americanism?" it's because khomeini had givenfatwas a bad name. so if you look at images:

"down with the united states",stepping on the flag, this is really since 1979. every time there's an announcerthey come up and say, "ok, we're going to introducethe president or introduce the speaker, but before we begin,let's start our chants: 'death to america', 'death to america','death to israel', 'death to israel'." so it's sort of routine,very, very typical protest. and the shoe, the dreaded shoe. if you ever really want to insultsomeone in arab culture,

you invoke the shoe, because it isthe symbol of the worst disrespect - we have like 25 or 30 wordsin the arabic language alone for different types of dirty shoesdepending on how low you are - and so, i don't know if people remember, i think when george bush was doinga press conference in iraq, one of the reporters took offhis first shoe and hurled it at him, missed, took off the second shoeand hurled that at him, missed; but nonetheless, was sending a message. and as a matter of fact,after the 1990 gulf war,

saddam husseinhad a very famous iraqi artist put a mosaic of george bushsenior's face on the floor, like, in shock, "ah, we kicked youout of the country," - or he thought -so that people can step on his face. and this is the sort of politicsyou don't really see in the imagery on the part of the clericsof iraq as they put this forth. but leaving shoe politics aside, what this all sort of indicates, basedon this notion of perception of other, is that islam is dangerous.

we have 1979, we have al-qaeda, we have 9/11, we have the war on terror, but we don't think about the idea there could be multiple expressions of islam, that an islamic state does not necessarilymean a religious state. there shouldn't be thingssuch as monoliths in which we see the region. why can we not perceive of islamin its various forms serving as a modern ideology?

i think we were stuck on fareed zakaria'svery, very famous statement in his writings on illiberal democracies. he was warning us when he said, "don't trust the islamists, they're going to act like moderates,they're going to run for elections, they may win them, but as soon as they do, they're going to curtail rightsand turn it into the worst case scenario for all members of society."

what i say is, "thank god for iran." i don't know if you guys noticedwhen i started, in my map, you could see that the tentacles from iranare creeping up into iraq. i would say that the iranians had givenclerical rule a bad name, but that was good in terms of learningon the part of iraqis. so they saw what had happened in iran, they saw that the ayatollah, at one point in history, couldn't even find a successor, because he was supposedto claim one after he died,

and had to actually elevateayatollah khamenei, the successor, or the supreme leader now,because no one else would do it; most of them went under house arrest,or a special court for clergy. so the iraqis are seeing this, and then,they also saw the other side of it, the secular nationalism of saddam hussein, which only lead to torture, expulsion,and everything else in between. so although iran is the lensthrough which we see iraq, we shouldn't be so afraid. the iranians have not been ableto export their revolution,

a testament to iraqi sovereignty; no iraqis have ever asked to secede, the majority of them, 60%, have neverflocked to a country with 90% shiites; and the iranians themselvesare losing faith in the government. i was talking about chantsof "death to america", "death to israel": in june 2009, when ahmadinejad wonquestionable elections in that country, when people were told, "ready?let's chant 'death to america'," they actually chanted "death to russia," because the russians were the firstto accept the results of that election.

so we see that there's an evolution here. but what i'd like to sort of end with is this notionthat there is no fiat in islam, no blueprint, no model, and maybe many people may think,"wow, that's really dangerous, because it means then that it's a free-for-all." but i'd say there's a potential, an important potentialfor democratic development there. although the narratives about iraqdon't really leave room

for democracy by clerics, the clerics have actually proven that they're the most progressivethinkers in the country, they can serve as public intellectuals,they have important links to society, and the actual clerical hierarchy in and of itself has democracy embedded in it, because without people following youand asking for fatwas, you can't reach that levelof having a compendium that allows you to be a grand ayatollah.

and there's that level of accountability: those clerics go back to the state,and they petition on behalf of the people. and what this essentially means is when the perception is that ayatollahsand clerics are in their law schools, and they think about state,and they have these lofty ideals, they then try to impose them on state; actually the opposite is true. it's not religion that's shapingpolitics in the middle east, or at least here in this context,

it is politics that's constrainingand shaping religion. hence, the way that the iraqi ayatollahsconceive of their states. in 1920, gertrude bell,the british diplomat, who was entrusted with reconstructingmesopotamia into modern iraq, was very proud of her workwith the modernized sunnis, and she expressed a lot of disdainfor the shiite clerics, and she called them the alien popes. almost 100 years later,donald rumsfeld made similar statements, ending with, "we will never toleratea regime like that of iran."

but the problem iswe only see what we want to see; if only we can get past the beards. (applause)

Saturday, January 28, 2017

puppets how to make

i’m sick and tired of you! nika, wait! yuliadisappeared, and her father… hello, police? nika, nika, wait! wait! nika, look! police? please take my call. nika, i’m a private detektive! i’m very happy for you. do you know how touse a vacuum-cleaner? you failed to find her and youexposed yourself to the police!

i want you to find my daughter. i came to martha rudolfovna. please come in. the living-room is straight downthe corridor and to the right. do you think she’ll kill martha? what? how did she die? it was an accident. it is very convenient totalk about an accident.

i have a feeling that nobodyknows what happened in reality. what is the kulichki? there is a mentalhospital at the kulitchki. i see. thank you. star media presents anna kamenkova alexei sekirin hello. i’ve come to the archives. hello.

here you go. maria paley alla ivantsova what was the patient’ssurname, did you say? sakharova. sakharova… which one do you need? are there several of them? yes. there are two. tatyanasakharova and yulia sakharova.

exactly. a mother anda daughter. i need both. art director – svetlana smirnova music by alexei chintsov i helped her! i hired her andgave her a roof above her head, and what did she do? she pourshalf a liter of my perfume on herself and rummages in my lingerie! martha rudolfovna, i begyou! i didn’t want to! get out of my house, now! martha rudolfovna, i have noplace to go! please! i beg you!

this is enough! martha, where will she go? i don’t know. let hergo back to her torzhok… where are you from? my father will kill me if icome back! martha rudolfovna, i didn’t do it on purpose!i just wanted to be beautiful! ‒‚ yulia!‒‚ shhh… i wanted to be like you… yulia, you could have askedfor martha’s permission!

girl! hairdo, make-up andperfume are not important! youth is the main beauty! nonsense! youth doesn’t mean anything! this is not a problem thatthis girl hasn’t got lucky with both face andfigure. the problem is that there is no brainin this ugly head. a clever woman may be abeauty even… with such makings. do you really think so? well? will you talk to thecomrade or shall i close him in?

captain, why close in? this is not a problem.we’ll find a pretext. vesta, my beauty! when i took her, she was as big as a loaf of bread! i bought her at the policebreeding house, from snigirev. will you have some tea? don’tstand like a stump, sit down! no, i won’t. a summer cottagewas robbed, the konovalovs’, i have to go there. this is it!shall i take him with me? let him live! he seems to bea normal guy. he has a dog too.

a dog? a southern-russian sheep dog. a puppy. you’ll have troubles with this breed. i am already suffering.she is chewing everything… let’s go. we’ll see uncle snigirev off. what about the documents? well… god! by the way… he is registeredin moscow and he isn’t married.

get out! not married! hellhello to our guys from me! i saved you! thank you. may i sit down at the table? you may. what did you wantto get to know about yulia? again, nicolay? the man is suspicious. let’s look at that man. thank you. may i take it with me? of course, you may not. thepapers shall stay in the archives.

what a pity! may itake a few notes, then? do you have a pen? i do. thank you. lida? yes? what is going on? why arethere strangers in the archives? anna vladilenovna,he is from the police, concerning sakharova’s case. yousigned the permission yourself.

‒‚ i didn’t sign anything.‒‚ how can that be? wait. what about this?i beg your pardon. isn’t it your signature? where is it? i didn’t sign anything. i saw the permit! he showed it to me! where is it? here it is!isn’t it your signature! come to my office with me.we’ll discuss it there. leave the medical file, please. well… so, she called me at night,frightened, all in tears.

something happenedbetween her and her father. do you know what had happened? she didn’t tell. she just askedme to let her stay at my place. did you let her? of course, i did… i piledup the trouble on my head. i can understand her.she is just… her fate was grave. her mother died young.her father is a bastard. i just feel hurt for ilet her live in my house and she unleashed dogs on me…in a figurative sense.

this is gzhel. yes. what? my dad collects the brand. ‒‚ i beg you pardon.‒‚ this is ok. did you quarrel? well… i had no wish to quarrel with her. however, she triggeredscandals often. such scenes! what scenes? yulia is an incredible person.

she is a genius when it comes toparasitizing on her troubles. we had a classmate…a student of the same year. vlad, our top student.he helped her write her thesis. and she gave him into the dean. just so! what for? she said that he was selling theses. did he? what difference does itmake? this is not important! her deed is, though! i feelsorry for the boy. he was good.

he tried entering theinstitute to study for free three times in a row,and then he was expelled. his heart failed and hegot into the hospital. how could she do such a thing? i also had troubles because of her. there are such people, unfortunately… do you want some more tea? no, thank you… yes, babkin… this is it!

lena, you forgot to take your medicine. later, mum. no, now! yes, thank you. is it your interview? yes, it is. what can one talk witha former model about? i doubt that they can read. what? who?

the models. i see. you stayed at her place for so long… i started to worry.i wanted to call you. mum, konetskaya is an incredible person. she has such zest to life!almost like an animal. she offered me to havedinner with her, so… and i cooked your favorite custard pie. mum, i’m, sorry. i couldn’t refuse her.

i don’t think anybody can. do you know how she eats? i don’t know.you dined with her, not me. she is eating as if she is hungry.however, she tries to hide it. i’m sure that she orders bloody steaks. ugh! bloody steak… bloody steak… good girl! how awful! bloody steak…

there is something froman animal in her indeed. it is attractive. i’m surethat she has a load of admirers. i shall ask her abouther admirers next time. will you go to her again? yes. i want to get toknow more about her. maybe i’ll write a seriesof articles about her. what about a book? or did you decide tonever write a novel again? i don’t know, mum.i talked to konetskaya, and…

i don’t know now. i see. go on, work! i’m working, i am working… vesta, don’t pull me!come here, lord! i told her that i could speak to myacquaintance and he would hire her. “no, no, no need to,everything is fine”… did she have money? what money? her father usedto give her some kopeks. he stopped supporting herafter they had quarreled.

so… yes, i fed her, if you mean it.however, this is nothing. i didn’t mind. i canunderstand any situation. however, she could havebehaved more politely. i come from the instituteand see her things lying about the apartment,some orange and tangerine rinds… i gather the mess…i don’t mind cleaning, but… she was making rows! is that normal? i don’t get it. did she make a rowbecause you started cleaning?

yes. i cleaned the carpet and the sofa. it violated her personal space…in my house! is that normal? she was standing all white,her eyes were mad, she was shouting soloud! it was terrible! i couldn’t sleep at night after that.i was lying thinking: “what if she is mental? whoknows what she is up to”? i came up to her in themorning and asked her calmly: “yulia, could you please leave”? do you know where she went?

thanks god, no! you know what?i’m not interested at all! the subscriber can’t bereached at the moment. be quiet, be quiet. what’s the matter? sleep, sleep. sleep, girl. lie down. vasya, where are you going? nowhere. damn it. nowhere. sleep. hey! hi. how are you? what are you doing here?

i called you but you wouldn’t answer. are you crazy? you’ll wake mum up. i forgot about mum. it’s weird that she doesn’tclose you in a box for a night. did you say what you wanted? i’m sorry. stop it. can we talk like normalpeople? just for five minutes. ‒‚ take the foot away!‒‚ just five minutes, ok?

take the foot away! this is it. take yourhand away, there you go. all right. let’s do it. lena, what’s the matter? ‒‚ why did you stop writing?‒ what? you used to write a novelabout some physicist. you wanted to finishit as soon as possible. look, vasya. did you comein the middle of the night to get to know why istopped writing a novel?

i did. you could have askedat the editorial office. wait. you didn’t want to talk to me. look, vasya, what doyou care about my novel? i’m surprised myself.however, i fell something… stop it, i tell you. hands off! you look unwell. no, i didn’t mean it.you’re dull and as if lifeless. one could catch fire of you before.

your eyes were shiningwhen you were talking about that physicist.he had a weird surname… with many consonants. shtadrtman. albert shtadrtman. you said that he was always walkingwith his notebook in his hands, he was writing withoutwatching his step. everybody was afraid that hemight fall into an open manhole one day and break his neck. vasya, don’t do it, will you?

why did you stop? vasya, i need an inhalation, go! be quiet, calm down! this is it.you don’t need an inhalator. breathe, breathe! breathewith your diaphragm. this is it. do you see? talk to me. i don’t want to. you want to tell me about it.you want somebody to help you. you want to write again. remember! you’re sitting and writing anovel that was almost ready.

it was ready. all the more so! what happened next? i was walking to the publishing house.i was holding my novel. it was in march. i passed a newspaper stand.i saw his photo. whose? whose photo was it? lena, what happened?i woke up but didn’t see you. this is it. everything is fine. good evening. goodevening, olga petrovna. i don’t know when it is eveningfor you, vasiliy. it is night for us.

vasya, go! calm down… lena, stand up! get off! here you go. don’t worry. do you see what you’ve done? leave and don’t come here again. go, vasya. did i say something unclear? good night, olga petrovna.

everything is fine. yes. everything is fine… fine… i thought that you and vasiliy broke up. we did, mum. why did he come in themiddle of the night, then? he just wanted to talk. this is none of my business, of course. however, i don’t want him to hurt you. men can do that. when you father left…

mum, stop it! he just wanted to get toknow why i stopped writing, of course! one hundredthousand is a large amount. what hundred thousand? here you go. read! i thought that you knew. one hundred thousand… let me make a goldeneye for you. we could watch somegood movie after that.

they lived poorly. tatyana was proud. she never asked anybody about anything. you know, it’s not a way out to be proudwith a child on your hands. first, she managed… are these things hers? yes, of course. she got worse later. she slipped into depression.when yulia was about 10… tatyana got bad enoughto attempt a suicide. she cut her veins in the bathroom…

i see. i can understandwhy they took her to the mental hospital. yes. they explainedto us that any person who attempted a suicide issent to the mental hospital. yes, i know. how did it happen… oleg borisovitch didn’thelp them, did he? no, he didn’t. you know,he was never interested in yulia and tatyana didn’task him about anything. she was trying not to hear about him. she used to say that hewas a terrible person.

i was very surprised later,when he came to the funerals. he was a polite and amicable man. he paid for everything,took yulia and left. a polite and amicable…nevertheless, she was afraid of him. it seemed so. yulia lookedvery much like her father. tatyana was scared of that.when tatyana got to know that yulia wrote to her father,she suffered a nervous breakdown. she was shouting that “you’llonly communicate with him over my dead body”! thisis what eventually happened.

yes. she is a good girl, martha.i think you shall give her a chance. why? because people deserve a chance. you did many silly thingswhen you were young. do you know what your main problem is? you’re ready to forgiveeverybody anything. this is the root of all your problems. will you think about it?promise me to think about it!

i will think about it. you did well! you gavea great performance! what are you talking about? i mean this story withthe perfume and the rest. you did it on purpose, didn’t you? you started to cry and playeda fool. “martha rudolfovna, you’re so beautiful!i wanted to be like you!” martha rudolfovna willfall for it, no doubt! did you hear is all?

do you think they won’t throw me away? of course, they won’t! she’lllove you even more after this. one doesn’t know what is better, though… good-bye. yes. good-bye. one second,makar! i almost forgot. there is a photo here. a photo… she is beautiful. who is she? i don’t know. she is sometatnya’s distant relative from moscow. she is eitheran actress or a model.

do you remember her name? i think magda… no, no.martha. martha konetskaya. are you still here? but, martha rudolfovna… mansurov sent me aninvitation to his exhibition. will you go? i don’t know. i haven’t decided yet. do you really want to be beautiful? i think i’ll give you a chance.i’m interested to see

what will come out of it. even more so… i’m ready to work with you… i don’t know, martharudolfovna. thank you! don’t thank me. thank valentina. she defended you.are you satisfied, valya? very much so! yulenka, you shalllisten to martha rudolfovna. if somebody knows somethingabout beauty, she is the one. i got to know that sakharovahad an aunt in moscow – martha konetskaya. sheused to be either an actress

or a model in her youth. i sent allthe data to your e-mail. all right, bye! stand still! hands on the car! be quick! what’s the matter?guys, what’s wrong? hands behind you! behind you! behind! calm down. what’s the matter? what has happened? what is your problem? go! go! are you crazy? hold this!

move it! sign here! captain, whatshall i do with the drunk? we’ll sort it out. a night ward was killedin the hospital tonight. did you do it? comrade captain, comradecaptain? may i have a call? i told you that youshouldn’t have come here. wait! comrade captain! damn you!

look at how cool sakharova’s auntie is! what shall we do with this now? the subscriber can’t bereached at the moment… i would like to knowwhere that subscriber is. lidia yuryevna, please look here. is one of these peoplea man who was trying to illegally obtainsakharova’s medical history? this one, on the right. sign here and be free.

‒‚ thank you.‒‚ good-bye. good-bye. next one! be careful! did you manage to see a personentering the hospital building? it was dark there. can you identify him?is he among these people? this one, on the outside. turn around. very good. walk a bit. go back!

try straightening your back. this is a difficult case. everything should be radically changed. remember one thing, my girl.there is fleeting beauty – one looks, getsimpressed and this is it. one is not interested anymore. however,there is another type of beauty. it’s when you want tokeep looking at somebody. a person might have abig nose, small eyes, and stuck-out ears…

this is real beauty! this is what we can make out of you! why do you think thatit is something criminal? maybe some otheragency outbid dubrovina. she would have told me. you’re so nave, vasya! how do you think it happened? did our competitors paidher for her to stop writing? why not?

this is silly, borya. why take a bestsellingauthor out of the market? she is scared. somebodyscared her to death. do you want to say that shedescribed somebody exactly? some real crime?and somebody scared her. i don’t know. maybe. stop it, vasya. it onlyhappens in cheap novels. she was talking about some physicist… with a terrible surname. str… stranman.

shtadrtman? yes. albert shtadrtman, you’re right. she made him her mainhero in her new novel. this surname rings a bell.i know! we published his obituary. an obituary? yes. he died in january. there was some sillystory concerning his death. when did you see thisperson entering the hospital? i told you… there wasdark… it was night.

a lamp was shining by the entrance… it is from moscow. calm down! hello? this is strelnikov. yes. i got you. i got you, we’ll do it. guard! take this guy to thecell. let him sleep. don’t touch me. i’ll go myself. you got lucky, makarandreyevitch. you may go. but remember — you maynot get so lucky next time.

do you understand? you may be free. what‘s the matter? nothing. work! straight back is themain thing. straighten up! where are your four points —heels, ass, shoulder blades and the back of your head?you shall touch the wall with them. ‒‚ do you understand?‒‚ i do. remember, girl. it makes nodifference what you put on, what make up you have,how you did your hair.

the main thing is a straight back.modern girls are so stooping! when they are 30, they run tothe surgeon to make surgeries to lift their tits or wear theseterrible bras with fittings. if you bear your backstraight, you won’t need either a surgeon or a brafor long. let’s try walking. very good, very good… what? you’re dreaming about an affairwith mansurov again, aren’t you? all right, go. here is a stimulusfor you — if you study well, i’ll take you to the exhibitionand present you to roma.

he loves beautiful women.he’ll be our jury and tell us whether we succeeded in makinga beauty out of you or not. so get ready.we’re going there on friday. are you serious? will you takeme to the exhibition with you? of course, i will. just washmirror in the bathroom, cinderella, it’s the second time i ask youabout it. and gather the books. don’t forget about your back. very good! hello, seriy? hi, this is makar! i’ll be in moscow in three hours.this is not a phone talk.

we’ll talk when i get there. where are you? i’m by the house of sakharova’s auntie. look, i don’t get it. why didtogoyev fail to tell us about her? togoyev didn’t know about her. she is some distant relative. tatyana didn’t communicatewith her either. his security service didn’tcheck her relatives. seriy, why did you fall silent?seriy, what’s happened? i think this is yulia sakharova.

are you sure? no. however, she looks just like her. i understand. it means shedoes live at konetskaya’s place. i see. what is she doing? she is going somewhere.shall i wait for her here? no. follow her. don’tlet her see you. go, bye! i see. one can’t even eatin peace with this work! man, do you have a condom? i’m sorry but i don’t.

is she yulia or not? let me check it. all right, i’ll do it. you’ll arrange anaccident for the old woman. i’ll pay you for this work.it’ll be like this and in no other way. what if it turns out thatyou won’t get the money? it won’t. i saw the testament. valentina will get her summer cottage.the rest goes to the relatives. what do you have to do with it? i’m her only relative.

this is interesting. what ifi go to your auntie right now and tell her about it?how much will she give me for such information?hey! what are you doing? do you know how much isuffered to make her trust me? i put up with everything,i agree with everything. do you think it is easy?i’m holding up with my last strength! if some idiot interferes with my plan, i’ll strangle him with my bare hands.i’ll do it, you know me. besides, i won’t get punished for it.

all right, it was a joke. take it away! i’ll tell you when shedecided to leave the house. all right. she ordered konetskaya’s murder! serezha, i’m sick and tiredof you! i can hear you well! makar, what shall we do? look, leave me in peace! i’m thinking! he is thinking!look, we shall turn to the police. let me call kalashannikovfrom the 101st department.

let them sort it out. tell me first… did youget to know anything about that guy who wastalking with sakharova? of course i did! good boy! i didn’t follow him half a day in vain. he is savelyev pavelyuryevitch, born 1988. he is currently on probation fora theft that got him convicted for three years. he is aheroin addict who buys stuff

from a chan. by theway, he owes him money. you know everything! how didyou get to know about chan? i asked guys from thedrug control department. they are working on chan.shall i call kalashannikov? serezha, listen to me.who are we working for? your kalashannikov is notour client, togoyev is. he pays us to find hisdaughter. we’ve found her. i don’t want to get involvedin this case anymore. we’ll go to togoyev now, informhim on the results of our search,

get our wages and let him dowith his daughter what he waits. wait. what about konetskaya? what do you want me todo with your konetskaya? while you go to togoyevwith your report, konetskaya might be killed! serezha, switch your brain on! sakharova wants to arrangean accident with konetskay when she goes out ofthe house. is that so? it’s 12:30 a.m.! do youthink 70-year old models

still go to clubs at night? how do i know? i don’t know any models! this is it! i’m sick and tired of you! if you want it so much,please go to the stretenka and watch her houseas long as you want to! i’m going to togoyev! now? why wait, serezha? why wait?i’m sick and tired of this case! the sooner i get it off mychest, the better! i’m going!

when i call, you shall be ready.look, this is the attic’s door. i’ll give you the key.you’ll go two staircases down and wait until marthaleaves her apartment. this is all informationconcerning your daughter. thank you for your work, makar.i didn’t expect you to find yulia so fast.my security service will work on this case from here.this is your wages. i beg your pardon, makar… did you discuss thisinformation with anybody?

oleg borisovitch, thereis professional ethics… good luck. sort it outand bring yulia to me. do everything so that she was alive… at least until i talk to her. oh, yulia, yulia… what are we having for dinner?broccoli? martha hates broccoli. she won’t have dinner today.this is for valentina. where is she going? i don’t know. she just saidthat she wouldn’t have dinner.

did she say when shewas going to come back? she didn’t. look, i need to leave for afew hours. can you cover for me? lie something… that iwent to buy some medicines for valentina. will you? sure. where are they? what are you looking for, serezha? i’m looking for one thing.

this one? thank you! well… where are you going to do? we’ll walk down the avenue. what avenue are you going towalk in a car? tell me the truth! i decided to pay a visit to konetskaya. why didn’t you tell me about it at once? because you think thatthis case is closed and the rest is not our problem.and i think we shall somehow warn here.

stop, serega! we made adeal yesterday, didn’t we? we handed all theinformation over to togoyev. he knows that if somethinghappens to konetskaya, we’ll know that togoyev’sdaughter ordered her murder. his daughter. i got it. do you realize that hewon’t be able to clean up? he will have to forgetabout the elections. he’ll spare no efforts tokeep konetskaya safe and sound! what more arguments do you need?

togoyev may care about it. however, we shalltalk to her. hold this. how are you going to doit? “i beg your pardon, martha rudolfovna. please don’t worry.your niece ordered your murder”. do you want the old ladyto die before her time? i’ll be careful… no heart attacks. close the door! don’t forget to walk the dog! he is so stubborn!

end of episode two

Friday, January 27, 2017

puppets how to make at home

1 - midnight midnight... i see the snow that's falling midnight... still hanging from this wall i'm thinking back in time to when there was still a life free of misery oh... but it was never to be midnight... and still you're haunting me to the cellar in the darkest night

all the misery all... the blood i had to see midnight... midnight... midnight... midnight... they're ready for the show now the blood must flow they're waiting above oh no! "let the show begin" 2 - the puppet master

night time in budapest so many people are waiting in line darkness without a glow what a night to be watching a christmas show what a magical mystery feeling dancing at the end of their silvery strings almost human in size like children with plague in their flesh these puppets are oh so grotesque

the puppet theater is so dark inside gas lamps light the stage we're watching as the curtain begins to rise sssssshhhh... here come the puppets there is 1.. 2... i see 3 puppets waiting in the wing they start to walk, in line and suddenly they're all on the stage i see the puppet master high above on the walkway he pulls one string and up goes a leg.. down goes a head

he pulls one more and then he lets them all go! no strings, none of them fall, no strings at all... i take a look at the little drummer boy, up on the stage.. oh no i think he looked at me.. is he alive? i get a little scared... as he starts to play his drum on the skin of his hand, i see a little cut... blood so many things here are not what they seem but we love them all what a night to remember forevermore

the show has come to an end the master himself is on the stage with his children, the curtain must fall and then the puppets they are gone 3 - magic in the darkness... after the show outside the theater, the air is damp and cold all the people.. heading for home they don't believe, that what they saw was magic

oh.. it was magic i know this night was full of it, i never saw the undertow... no never saw the evil, never saw the evil i never saw the evil down below "i will never forget that night" i saw the magic in your eyes we will never forget that night we saw the magic in each other's eyes in the darkness.. after the show

all the people.. they are gone just you and me, and we believe in magic talking the night away, the things we like are all the same wanna get to know her, wanna get to know her i gotta get to know her deep down inside suddenly i feel so cold... it feels as if a ghost is next to me cold breath in my ear, as it whispers: "kiss her now" that kiss one year ago, a magic seal of our eternal love tonight she went to the theater alone

she never came home and i gotta find her now 4 - emerencia the shadows are thick and old i'm searching the dark for my love behind the theater of puppet shows i find the stairs to the cellar below hiding where the shadows rule a door opens below the moon is high above

300 pounds of flesh, that woman i know oh it's the puppet master's wife she pulls a cart behind her "oh emerencia", where are you going with that knife? time to kill, it's time for her nightly thrill deep in the night through the narrowest streets i follow her every step she is searching for innocent victims "oh emerencia"

in an alley a homeless is sleeping approaching without a sound... and then... oh no "how strange it is.. to see.. a life that slips away how strange it is.. in darkness blood is black not red" the knife is still deep in his chest gotta keep the blood in its nest she wraps him in the sack she brought she better leave before she gets caught through the streets dark and old

through the streets, no one must know only the moon and i and none of us will ever tell she pulls the body off the cart back at the theater and down into the dark "oh emerencia", i wonder why you left the door ajar deep in the night through the narrowest hallways there's a light from a doorway ahead of us where did she go, where did she go...? no

what i see is a horror show... then the blow... 05 - blue eyes i open my eyes... i can barely see i got a feeling inside no one's here but me, no one's here but me... ohhh i'm stone cold, yeah... i must be lying on the floor my hands are tied to the wall.. an iron chain, i can't move at all oh... i remember, i must be in the cellar my eyes are sucking on the dark to lighten the gloom

my eyes are no more blind, i can see what's in this room full of skeletons, dressed in human skin... they're sitting on their shelves, a cellar full of sin.. they're made from humans! so many puppets here, there are eyes everywhere there are eyes i recognize oh no, it's the eyes of my love.. the eyes of my love oh victoria no! oh...i remember

i open my eyes.. i can barely see a thing all the tears in my eyes, someone better say it's a dream "blue eyes, blue eyes", blue eyes i recognize "blue eyes in the night" they see nothing, and yet they're so alive blue eyes, they're so alive yet they're so alive.. yet they're so alive 06 - the ritual as i look into the eyes of victoria

enter the puppet master and his wife i can't speak... i'm in shock... human skulls, ancient books a strange symbol on the wall, black candles burning low in the gloomy light, i see an altar in white oh, what is it for? it must be a ritual in glass jars, up on shelves i see liquid dark as hell, there's one for every puppet i hear the master's voice, magic words from ancient times

i'm feeling strange inside oh... as if something has taken my mind in panic, i kick the shelf with the jars one of them falls from high above.. to the floor red!! oh so red... it's blood "how dare you disturb my work"? demon skull, red as blood it's in the symbol on the wall, there's something deadly wrong i feel a sting in my eyes, as they're given eternal life

all because of the blood on the floor, interrupted ritual he lures away my soul, from its shelter and into the cold to him my soul is gold trading souls with this demon is something he knows as well as hell magic life.. is his return pain.. in my skin, sin... i feel some kind of magic... inside 07 - no more me

why am i strapped to this hospital bed? "first your eyes, then your skin we will make you feel.. born again.. no more me my friend" a shiny scalpel in the master's hand his wife has got the jars for blood, oh she keeps one near i fear for my life, no more me i fear there will be no more me at all is this goodbye sweet life?... ahhhhh... scalpel cuts, eyelids drop

into jars... i'm crying blood fingers pull my eyeballs out... scissors snap... i bleed a lot they set my eyes into this puppet's head and still my eyes can see, i'm looking back.. at myself and what i see is no more me at all i have no eyes my veins... feel.. like worms drying in the sun... this takes too long

stripping skin from all my bones pain too strong... my senses they go numb all of my blood is now in little jars i should be dead by now, but i am still i am still alive inside my eyes and i see emerencia throw my carcass in the trash 08 - blood to walk sitting in the cellar, watching all the others it was only yesterday, needles in my skin

they turned my last remains into this puppet thing blood to walk, blood to see blood to walk again and blood to be i can see, but i cannot move at all yet i have feelings, i know it's very strange i'm on my shelf... eternal eyes they never sleep i take a look... and in the dark i see victoria there is no mistake, that is my beloved sitting on her shelf.. alone and so dead

there's a light outside the door mommy and daddy are back for more.. "let's play!" "hello my children... in blood i will teach you" they take victoria down from her shelf they sit her on the floor.. and me in front of her there are strings attached to our heads there are strings in arms and legs the puppet master's hands oh they keep us straight

pressing the needle in... i feel the sting, it's emerencia injecting blood... into the both of us... it's hot i think i see her move there's a tingle in our skin i can't believe... that she can see again... i have missed you so.. oh no it's like a horror show without a word we know as we communicate.. with our eyes.. deep inside oh we wonder why?

why our minds are now in our eyes? we can move without any strings "they're alive... that's enough for today.. put them away" 09 - darkness for 13 days.. we have trained and trained we're learning to walk again, we're learning to stretch our skin every time they bring us back to life little jars come down from the shelves every time we feel the sting

every time we feel the blood going in yeah, the blood going in our eyes are now our minds our souls.. are in our magical skin the blood they use must come from our own living just an hour and then we fade again "in the darkness we live our lives" in the dark we die again in the dark we die and die and die again darkness... darkness

every night victoria and i we spend what's left of the blood in our systems sitting on opposite shelves talking with our eyes, trying to remember it is all that we've got we're living through our memories and it's worth it... shhhhhhh... the puppet master is here again

[p.m.:] "tonight you will dance for me puppet girl tonight.. no strings attached" "but i can't, never ever did i dance, i don't have a chance" [p.m.:] "dance!" "i take a step, oh i try my best i stumble into the shelves with all the jars" 6... 6 of them are coming down broken glass and puppet life is on the floor "in the darkness we live out lives"

[p.m.:] "send her far away, far away from here" [p.m.:] "to the other theater.. tomorrow morning she must be gone send her to berlin... send that puppet to berlin" 10 - so sad i'm sitting in the dark, i'm with my love we are looking in each other's eyes i know if they take her away, there is no life take her away and i die "tell me this is not goodbye"

do you remember the butterfly? "it made me cry" i know... but we dried its wings so it could fly again i wonder if this is the end, for you and i i know we've got to say goodbye i know that i would change my life.. for you i would die for you "i will always remember the things we used to do all the memories i keep in here, just for me and you

with your image in my eyes i take you with me when it's time to go" i swear... i swear i'll find you i'll keep on searching, searching till the end of time "and if i can't survive without you by my side" then wait for me, wait for me wait on the other side.. i'll be there "i can barely see you anymore" you must remember the butterfly, it did not die

"i love you"... i love you too "i can't see you anymore" goodbye my love 11 - christmas "come they told me our newborn king to see our finest gifts we bring to lay before the king... oh when we come"

it's christmas again.. it will never be the same it's christmas again, i know there's only sadness in my soul it's christmas again... it'll never be the same no! and as the snow is falling from the sky all i wanna do is cry i got to get away from here i gotta get away........ by tomorrow, i will be gone

by tomorrow, i'll see the sun again but tonight... i am... the little drummer boy tonight... i am... the one who will destroy the secrets never told before of those who lost their souls there are sad things in the darkness there are sad things all around us to lay before the king..." now here i go

i'm falling on my face, drum breaking on the stage oh my god it's such a big disgrace 12 - living dead same old wall, still hanging tall same old nail.. through my throat eighteen years came along and all this time i never, i never saw my love i'm going insane they sold me to this little shop

where i remain living dead... i'm feeling like a living dead living dead... two blue eyes in an empty head dead dead dead this life is nothingness life on a wall, time to be called back.. to the beyond there's a rumour going around and around they say the puppet master is gonna build another theater in london town

for kids run by his son and daughter it's gonna be a bloody mess living dead, living forever on the same old wall forever with that nail going through my throat all the children, who see me in this shop they are scared of me, they say i'm looking sick my eyes follow them

never to be sold again life is never fair... life is air "will i ever see his eyes again? will i ever see him again?" "where is he now?"... where is she now?...

Thursday, January 26, 2017

puppets houston

2016-10-14 podcast 343 chris: hi and welcome to the seo podcast unknownsecrets of internet marketing. my name is chris burres, owner of ewebresults. chuck: i am charles lewis, your client resultsadvocate. chris: welcome back to another fun-fillededition of our podcast, this is podcast number -- chris & chuck: 343. chris: yes! as usual we do have a tip from our previouspodcast and that tip i wrote on the current

podcast notes, and that tip is “create videosof the product in use for your e-commerce websites.” chuck: look if you’ve got an e-commercesite and you’re selling products, create videos of people using those products, openingtheir product, sharing it with friends and so that way you get that user interactionof your product actually in use. should see some increase in sales. chris: increase in sales. chuck: always a good thing. chris: alright so, please remember, charlesand i we’re here and we’re broadcasting

from houston, texas and we are your friendlylocal neighborhood-- chris & chuck: top position snatchers! chris: and our mantra is-- chuck: do not be a douche. chris: don’t be a douche, it is not a goodlook for you. we have a good article today. chuck: got a great article from danny goodwinand the good folks over at search engine watch. he actually was the former editor in watch,he’s actually posting articles on search engine journal now, but he posted this oneon search engine watch, it’s called, “10

reasons your content will fail and what youcan do about it.” chris: alright. chuck: “10 reasons your content will failand what you can do about it.” chris: how to avoid it. like it. chuck: exactly. chris: good, we will get right into that. if you are in a position to, and you havesome sort of electronic device. hey if you’re watching us on facebook live--

chuck: device like this. chris: go ahead and tag like 3 people youknow who might be interested. by the way we can see, so no one’s taggedyet. and what should they-- chuck: man, be sure to use #seopodcast, besure to tag us in it if you’re tweeting this @ewebresults, @bestseopodcast that waywe can follow you back and do all of our social networking stuff. chris: excellent. so you’ll notice there is no tear tattoo.

we did get one bad review so we’ll be talkingabout that here in a second, and man, i was going through the list, we lost like 19 followerson twitter on one of our twitter pages. we lost-- there’s another one-- i thinkthat’s actually a minus 17-- no, that’s the one that got us out. so we lost one, lost 19, got 17 so-- chuck: lost 19, aaaw. chris: on twitter results, so the ewebresultspage on twitter and then made it back up on bestseopodcast. close to it.

so, i don’t know. chuck: i feel like i followed like 40 peopleamazingly. chris: yeah? chuck: yeah. chris: maybe on different platforms. anyway, so the way we run this little composition--by the way if this is the first time you’ve listened to this podcast, howdy, we’re gladyou’re joining us and you could have joined us on facebook live, so go like us on facebookso that you’ll get notifications when we go live.

if this is the first time you’ve listenedto this podcast-- we just covered that part. if you’ve listened before, you know whatwe’re going to skip, and we’re going to skip it and here’s how it works: if we get10 shikos-- chuck: shikos is our eweb branded term forsocial engagement. it stands for shares, likes and follows. chris: if we get 10 of those on any one ofour port-- whatever-- chuck: platforms. chris: on our platforms-- chuck: profiles, social media pages.

chris: profiles on the platforms and we geta review, then we don’t go through the process of telling you how you could leave us a review. we got a review, we got at least 10, so we’regoing to skip that section. what we will do though is tell you how youcan connect with us because well, everyone kind of likes to connect with different peopleand we like it. that’s the purpose of these platforms thatare so popular and you can connect with us at places like facebook.com/ chuck: ewebresults chris: twitter.com/

chris: youtube.com/ chris: instagram.com/ chris: linkedin.com/company/ chris: all of those will take you to our profilepage on those platforms and you can shiko us. chuck: say that three times fast: profilepage on those platforms. chris: yeah. hey, if you’re a php genius or a wordpressguru we’re probably looking for you. go ahead and give us a call, leave an audiorã©sumã© 713-510-7846.

if you would like a free website profit analysis-- chuck: profit analysis. chris: you’ve never heard of that before. chuck: enough to make me turn my head straight. chris: there we go. chris: we’re changing it up. go ahead and get on our website ewebresults.com. there is a big green button and click it andit’s actually a profit analysis. we used to call it a comprehensive websiteanalysis, you know what--

chuck: it still is comprehensive, don’tget it twisted. it’s a very comprehensive analysis, butour focus is on results. chris: right. chuck: and so when we analyze your site, it’sabout how can you as a business owner, how can your site make you money. how can it increase your profits, and that’swhat we’re here to help you with. chris: and what opportunities do you haveto make more profit, right? chris: excellent, and then do we have anyalgo cat? chuck: i’ve got some algo cat.

chris: it’s time for the favorite segmentof the program, the-- chris & chuck: algorithm cataclysm! pwoofshh! chuck: okay yeah, it even has some tremorshitting the people in live a little bit. chris: i think yeah, facebook. hopefully you guys are okay. chuck: so dig this, our algo cat today ispretty big. chris: okay. chuck: we’ve talked about them, penguinhas now officially finished rolling out.

chris: right, okay. chuck: so they did-- it was dripping on forweeks and weeks, well methode, that’s his twitter name, @methode, we’re talking aboutgary illyes, you know. chuck: and it’s over at google, where hetweeted out the other day that pand-- i mean penguin has officially been rolled out, thefull version of it and so people who were penalized before, you should start seeingyour ranking come back up. chris: come back up. chuck: if you don’t, then you haven’taddressed those penalties correctly and you may want to go revisit your link profile.

chris: absolutely. algorithm cataclysm. chuck: algo cat. chris: hey so, i’ve got-- let’s see, i’vegot a review and then i’ve got some news. what do you-- what do you want to do first? chuck: in that order. chris: alright, so the first review that wehave here is: this is from phillip vanarsdel. i actually had a conversation with phillipand this one says, “while i’m eagerly awaiting my ‘comprehensive’ website analysis,”which has been changed to a profit analysis,

“ i am binge listening to you guys, my favoritedorks,” i’m cool with that. chuck: yeah, in this case i’ll take it. chris: as long as it comes with a-- precededby the word favorite. chuck: favorite. yeah, exactly. chris: “in the world of seo, there’s alot of snake oil being sold to e-commerce companies.” chuck: never heard that before. chris: “you guys dive into each topic andhelp me realize what’s genuine and what

are just scare tactics used by the diaperpuppets spamming me with their seo propaganda.” chuck: that’s so-- that line is worth repeating. chris: so, “help me realize what’s genuineand what are just scare tactics used by the diaper puppets spamming me with their seopropaganda.” chuck: diaper puppets. chris: that’s great. chuck: i’m calling somebody that. i don’t know who, but somebody is goingto be a diaper puppet. chris: exactly, it’s going to be randomlike, hello diaper puppet.

chris: “thanks for doing what you do andtaking us to seo school. enjoy your--” chris & chuck: “5 stars--” chris: “review. you deserve it.” and that was from phillipvanarsdel, so punch in the fact to you. chuck: punch in the face to you phillip. appreciate you tuning in, thanks for yoursupport and i would love a definition of what a diaper puppet is before i start callingpeople that. chris: yeah, we might need to clarify.

chuck: i just need to know before i go sayingthat. chris: because you could get-- it could getrough really quick right? chris: interestingly in college i had a professornamed vanarsdel, that was his last name. alright so next is arturo gt and his titleis “not worth your time,” and it’s-- [00:07:18] [couldn’t find original reviewfrom arturo] chris & chuck: only 1 star. chris: it says. chuck: oh arturo? “sat through 20 minutes of nonsense for8 minutes of content,” and then in parenthesis

“(them commenting on an article???) andthen they try to keep me for another 5 minutes for something i don’t know. cut the fat, i’ll circle back next month.” arturo we really do hope you circle back. chuck: next week. if i’d known you’d circle back next month,just come back next week and this time, listen for the whole 30 minutes. chris: yeah if you want to fast forward throughthe potatoes of the podcast, we’re cool with that.

it is an option you have, and the contentis good. chuck: yeah, you kind of got it backwards,you said 20 minutes of nonsense and 8 minutes of content, it’s like 8 minutes of potatoesand and like, yeah-- chris: 20 min-- because we have like-- chuck: there’s only 30 minutes-- chris: it’s only 30 minute podcast, we’vehad a couple that were 40 recently but still doesn’t work anyway. chuck: anyway, punch in the face to you. chris: thanks for reaching out to us.

chuck: appreciate you tuning in and givingus your insight. it is what it is. chris: hopefully you come back. hopefully you come back. you got any punches in the face? chuck: i do got some punches in the face. this punch in the face goes to girlslacrossehq,theiry’re headquarters. chuck: she hit us up. she says, “@ewebresults have you guys everdone an article or podcast on the ‘rank

and rent’ model?” chris: the rank and rent model. chuck: rank and rent. so we’ve dealt with clients who’ve beenexperienced with that. we have never done an article. frankly i haven’t seen many articles insearch engine land or search engine journal or moz or watch and all the other places ifrequent, and i just personally haven’t written any content about that. but what i can tell you, that depending onindustry usually service providers like plumbers

and electricians, and things of that nature,it kind of works. chuck: you get a site, you rank it and thenthey tend to lease out that contact information to the highest bidder. chris: we’ll put your phone number on thissite that’s ranking well for x dollars. chuck: for these terms in your area, right? but what i haven’t seen it work for is likethe kind of white collar people. our lawyers and accountants and things likethat. it just hasn’t really been a good look frommy experience. chuck: so i’ll keep my eyes peeled on anykind of rank and rent like how you put that

content and see if we can find some for her. another punch in the face. punch in the face to you girlslacrossehq appreciateyou tuning in and asking that question. got another one from jamso he’s @jamsovaluesmarton twitter, he says, “@ewebresults @youtube enjoy the knowledge the show and the resultsfrom your shares! #gratitude.” chris: wow. chuck: punch in the face to you though, appreciateit. chris: love us some gratitude. alright so i’ve got a little bit of news.

this was a great article title, “samsungwarns of exploding washing machines.” chuck: that’s just going to suck. chris: now isn’t it-- so it’s a greatta-- basically some of their machines when they get filled with water and like heavy,water resistant or like a comforter or something, they’ll just start shaking a lot and itcan actually be dangerous, that’s how much they can shake. and so, they’re not exploding but the guywho wrote the title is just smart. chuck: well because it’s samsung. it’s a samsung product.

chris: exactly, right now at the s7-- chuck: that’s what we call click bait. it worked. chris: yeah, absolute click bait. chuck: we’re going to talk about titlesin a minute. chris: and it was close enough, that i waslike you know what? alright good. chuck: well it was close enough to be like,if the phones can explode then there is a chance by watching this because i have a samsungwasher

chris: and it was samsung related, it’swasher related, so i don’t-- you know i didn’t kind of view him as a douche. so a really creative use of a title. chris: next! insulin pumps are susceptible to hacking. chuck: insulin pumps? chris: yeah, isn’t that just sucky, like-- chuck: it’s weak? so some dude could be next to you and yeahi don’t like that.

chuck: just boosting up your sugar. chris: yeah, up you go. and then finally i got this: a boy in spainran up a $110,000 google bill. he got confused-- chuck: what ads? chris: he got confused, he thought he wassigning up for adsense, he signed up for adwords. adsense pays you when people click, adwordscosts you when people click. chuck: i mean but he had to create ads anddo stuff in order to be-- chris: google erased it.

they erased it so. chuck: oh okay. chris: they believed him and like he’s asmall band and he was trying to promote his band. oh no, i guess he was trying to sell-- likehe spun it someway, right? chuck: got lucky because if we’d had a clientwho i gave access to their adwords, he was an ac company, and you know we had him atyou know, $300 a month and he was fine and he went in and-- chris: wanted a little bit more.

chuck: wanted a little bit more. chris: let me turn this. chuck: turned on display network went wrongwith a bunch of other stuff and blew my phone up on sunday night because he had spent $5,000in the weekend. chris: on sunday. chuck: on sun-- yeah like on one day or something. so luckily he got off with. chris: he got a good deal, you know it workedfor him, but yeah. chuck: i got some news.

chuck: a little bit more news. this is kind of-- this almost was algo cat. chuck: this is almost algo cat. so we’re going to wait until a couple monthsuntil they finally announce it. yeah this is pretty big. so within months, google is dividing it’sindex. chuck: that’s huge. chuck: dividing the index, giving mobile usersbetter and fresher content. currently google has a single index of documentsfor search and now google’s gary illyes,

same guy we’re talking about earlier, announcedthe plan on releasing a separate mobile search index which will become the primary one becausethey’ve already proven that most searches happen on mobile devices. yeah so this really affects those who, let’ssay, don’t have a responsive site or don’t really have a mobile version. then yeah, you will not be included in thatmobile index and that could be a problem. if you’re responsive, your content loadswell, you get a mobile-- you pass the mobile-friendly test, then you’re probably okay. here i thought this was cool.

more news in regards to adwords, just talkingadwords, right? adwords is rolling out salesforce accountantlinking for automated conversion imports. what does all that mean? that means, if you’re a company and you’reusing salesforce, right? maybe to manage your email campaign and tomanage your costumers, and to manage your sales process and things like that and let’ssay you’re running ads on adwords, now you can link your adwords account with your salesforceid and track the whole thing from ad to click to how they converted, all in salesforce. chuck: that’s pretty cool salesforece.

chris: and you did a-- you did a gig-- chuck: yeah, i had a gig. punch in the face to salesforce man, we wentout there, debuted live, i’ll post the youtube link, they rented out club prive in atlanta,they booked seo rapper. chuck: we had a great time. chuck: so, punch in the face to salesforce,like that’s a power move. like there ain’t no other crm’s getting-- chris: that’s tied into google analytics. chuck: that’s tied into adwords.

chuck: that’s pretty good, so that’s mynews. chris: very cool. alright, well that is the potatoes of thepodcast. it is time to get into the meat. chuck: awesome man, so today’s article isfrom danny goodwin. he posted an article on search engine watchcalled “10 reasons your content will fail and what you can do about it.” sounds like, how you know my content’s goingto fail like that? i’d be afraid to get content.

chris: yeah, that’s kind of like when danesaid views don’t matter. chuck: yeah, exactly. chris: and like your 1 million views of seorapper don’t matter. chuck: don’t matter, hey i got my feelingsimmediately-- chris: i glad he cleared it up because yeah. chuck: so he jumps in and says, jump in--number 1 he says, the first reason your content will fail is because of, “your headlineis boring.” chuck: straight up. your headline is boring.

he says, “headlines are the most importantelement.” that’s the thing he clicked on a few minutesago about samsung. chuck: he says, “headlines are the mostimportant element. it’s the first thing people see. you need to hook them instantly or risk losingthem permanently.” he’s absolutely right. at the end of the day boring headlines donot get clicked. like kind of lame headlines don’t get clickedyou must involve a couple things in this headline to really make it valuable.

one, from a ranking perspective try to getthat target keyword in there preferably closer to the beginning of that headline. secondly some sort of action item that canentice the user to take that action. and thirdly, include some sort of a valueadd at the end of it, even in his article, he said “10 reasons your content will failand what you can do about it.” he gave me 10 reasons, he tells me what he’stalking about which is my content, he told me that he thinks it’s going to fail andhe offered a solution, what i can do about it. all in his title, that’s what made me click,that’s what made me engaged.

and so when you’re writing titles, considerwriting a title that won’t be boring, that will entice people to take some sort of action. set expectations for the reader. you know he says, you want to convey whatthe benefit is and then of course include that keyword. keywords are very important in titles, theyalways will be. number 2. chris: two! chuck: “your content--” dig this, “yourcontent is vanilla.”

i like that one. he says, “your content is vanilla.” he says, “you want to make sure your contentis educational, entertaining, inspiring, or informative -- but there’s no excuse forbeing boring and just sticking to the facts or having a dull, robotic tone of a poorlywritten textbook.” he’s right man. don’t put out no vanilla content. take some time to-- matter of fact i addedinclude your opinion. write it from your perspective, spice up thiscontent some because it’s likely that you’ve

done the research, you had the numbers, soadd to it. maybe add some personal experience to it,tell a story, include a joke, right? even if it’s not real, the point is makingthis content enjoyable, making people read it and want to read it and actually finishreading it and not scanning it and bouncing. right, you want to make sure that this contentspeaks to the pain that they’re going through when they find this content, and more importantlyyou want this to be memorable. people don’t remember boring stuff, theyforget it as quickly as possible, but a piece of content you read that impacted you, thatentertained you, that made you laugh, guess what you’ll do with it?

you’ll share it, you’ll like it, you’llremember it, you’ll follow it. chris: yup. chuck: make sure your content is not vanilla. chris: three! chuck: number 3. “you make your content too hard to share.” chuck: how many people do that? make their content too hard to share? chris: well you know what?

we don’t really know because we can’tfind it. chuck: so, he goes on to say, “reduce frictionfor your users! put the share buttons right on your website.” duh! right? like at the end of the day, if you’re spendingall this time writing posts and writing blog articles and things like that and you wantthem to be shared, liked and followed, then you must include some sort of social sharingoptions with that post. preferably at the bottom of the post.

chuck: now, don’t do this. and i’m seeing this mistakes all the time. don’t overcrowd your page with social icons. chuck: right, where you have, you know “followus” icons at top, youtube, facebook, instagram, and all of that kind of stuff and then twitter,and then you got “follow us” icons at the bottom in your footer and you got likesome little floating hover thing on the side that’s scrolling with you and then, at thebottom of the post you got sharing icons and at the top of the post you got sharing icons. just way too much social iconage, if that’sa word.

chris: iconage! chuck: going on and-- chris: clearly it is. chuck: yeah, and keep it simple. keep it simple, go with the ones right atthe end of the post that have the most action, because you want people to share them. make your content really easy to share. number 4. chris: four!

chuck: he says, “you failed to properlypromote your content,” right? these are 10 reasons why your content willfail. number 4 is, you failed to properly promoteit. chuck: he says, “for example, one tweeton twitter is not enough. have you tried pushing out a new tweet forthe same piece of content, maybe with different copies, every three hours to reach peoplein different time zones?” chuck: great tip. how about a lunch tip, a breakfast tip anda dinner tweet, alright? and then you take those same things and repurposethat on facebook.

facebook three or four times is probably reallygood. on twitter you could probably go early breakfast,late breakfast, early lunch, late lunch, you could probably get 20, you know tweets ina day to the same content. chris: every 20 minutes i think. chuck: yup and that’s perfectly fine ontwitter because consider, the more followers you have with more people that follow you,then ironically the less-- chris: they’re probably following more people. chris: than there’s going to be-- like haveyou looked at the newsfeed on twitter, it’s moving and going.

chuck: it’s moving and always is and neverstops, and so the only way to get that tweet in front of me, who’s following like 5,000people, you better tweet it more than once if you want me to see it. chris: yeah, tweet it when he’s lookingand if you don’t have some sort of spy, something on his phone then you don’t knowwhen that is. chuck: and so you just tweet it more thanonce. chuck: and i’ll encourage you not to justtweet it as the example we used here, but if you’re tweeting it every 20 minutes,like i said, post it on facebook three or four times a day.

create you a meme and post it on instagramand put the link in the bio. use that same meme and pin it with the linkthere. chris: make sure it’s on linkedin. chuck: yeah, i’m telling you, if you havepictures in there, create a slideshow, upload that to slideshare with a link back to thepost. the key here is sharing it and don’t forgetthe kind of standard sharing things, like reddit and and digg and places like that. you just have to get that content out there. chuck: and matter of fact, you may even wantto encourage your personal network to help

share your content. chuck: reach out to people directly. if they-- you know them, you know that they’reinterested in your content, they’ve subscribed to your email already, email it out and thenask them to share it, because if they engage with you, if they rock with you, like y’allrock with us, then you probably share for you. chris: you get some momentum. chuck: get some momentum and that’s allit takes, it’s that momentum to kind of get the ball rolling.

chuck: number 5. chris: five. chuck: “nobody knows your brand.” that’s just a big one right here becausei see a lot of companies who don’t even optimize their sites with their company namefirst and they had a company name everywhere, they had their logo everywhere and at theend of the day, nobody knows your company or your logo and frankly, they don’t care. they’re more interested in your serviceor the product you provide and so you really should focus on the service or the product,not necessarily a brand.

unless! unless you’re a big brand company, you’repepsi, or you know nike, or these other big brands then your brand has already built thatmomentum and can do that selling for you, but if you haven’t, then focus on your service. matter of fact, he says, “if you’re anew brand, you’re at a big disadvantage. in addition to creating great content consistently,you must also grow your audience,” and that’s what he’s talking about. chris: work hard to grow that audience. chuck: you’ve got to work hard man, andthey won’t grow by focusing on your brand.

they will grow by focusing on high level contentabout your product or service. chuck: so consider using display ads for remarketingto help grow that brand or running some paid social ads like sponsored post, and boostedpost, and sponsored ig post, and things like that, those’ll work. how about team up with some other brands thatmay be slightly bigger than you, right? supply some content on their site, get thebrand recognition from that and then you can begin to grow but you must help people recognizeyour brand. number 6. chris: six!

chuck: “your content is ugly.” straight up. your content is ugly, matter of fact he says,“many web pages are simply ugly. just long blocks of text. ick.” he says, “break up your text and make itlook pretty.” come on son. chuck: like that’s the obvious. not only break it up and make it look pretty,let’s go with some high quality images,

let’s go with some kind of short paragraph,two to three sentences, easy to read, we were talking about this earlier at our lunch, youknow back in the days where everyone was writing these long complex 32-word sentences, butstudies show now that sentences are about 16 words or less and so stick to the scriptand follow those rules. use short paragraphs, great images, nice spacing. it’s things that i tend to not see donewell all the time. chuck: words just isn’t-- well there’snot a lot of words, there’s not a lot of content, but the spacing’s bad so it stilllooks like a lot of content. so address your spacing, address how the lookand feel is and at the end of the day, we

call it a drop test right? would you pass by it, would you stop and lookat it or would you just leave it there? chris: yeah, i always picture like in theold days of a brochure-- which you can still get a brochure. chuck: ironically. chris: if you put it on the ground, why wouldyou pick it up? that’s what we call the drop test. why would you pick it-- what’s engaging? what’s attractive about it?

etcetera. chuck: yeah so might-- present your contentin a way so that when people see it, they pass by it, they come across their twitterfeed, their facebook timeline, their email or wherever it hit them at, that it makesthem want to engage and actually look at it. chris: awesome. chuck: that was number 6. chuck: number 7. chris: hey dane joined us, so. chuck: yeah, i’ve seen dane.

chris: dane, what’s up? chuck: dane, appreciate you tuning in. chris: we’re getting battery power for thephone, so that it does not-- chris: seven! chuck: “your content is too promotional.” too promotional. chris: too promotional. chuck: yeah we kind of get some complaintsabout that a little bit. chris: i believe we call that douchy.

chuck: douchy, a little bit. and so what he says, “content that is designedsimply to promote your brand won’t perform well. people will see right through it and be turnedoff by it. create content that helps your audience. create content that answered questions orprovides helpful information.” so, i think it’s okay to promote. it’s definitely okay, yeah. chuck: like we just spent the first 8 minutespromoting, but we do that because we’re

about to give you 22 minutes of meat and greatcontent. chris: 8, not 22, right? that give us 8 minutes of promotion, and it’snot even promotion because we got algorithm cataclysm! we’ve got, you know, reviews of people engagingwith us. chuck: yeah, news and questions about youknow, rent and rank and all that kind of stuff. but yeah, if you’re writing promotionalcontent, yeah don’t be a douche, make sure you include some value with that content,some value that the people can actually extract and use, irregardless of the promotion, right?

if your promotion is tied to the content,then that kind of sucks. everything we’re sharing with you now youcan take it and run and we’ll get another for you, right? and so-- chris: yup, absolutely. just accomplishing our mission. chuck: exactly and helping a thousand-- ahundred million, was our busin-- a million businesses grow. chris: a million businesses grow.

so, what’s interesting is that yeah, interms of you know here are things that will cause your content to fail, that’s absolutelyright. if it’s too promotional, yeah. chuck: if it’s too promotional it woulddefinitely, yeah. he says, “10 reasons why your content willfail and what you can do about it.” number 7 was, “you content is too promotional.” chuck: fix that. alright, number 8. chris: eight!

chuck: he says, “your content fails to sparkan emotional response.” oooh david, pro tip right there. great, great one. “your content fails to spark an emotionalresponse.” the reason that’s important is because everyonein sales know that emotion drives sales. chuck: right, where this fear of missing outor fear of whatever it is-- chris: joy of what could happen in the future. like emotion drives sales, he goes on to say,“a great emotional response goes beyond the headline.

your content must also make readers feel something,whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear or disgust.”he’s right. chuck: at the end of the day, make your userslaugh, make them cry, make them angry. this will cause you to get shikos. chuck: like you will get shares, likes andfollows if emotion is involved with your content. i mean just consider the content you sharedrecently. consider the post you shared recently, thatyou retweeted. it made you laugh, it made you cry, it madeyou upset, it made you frustrated, it made you feel a certain kind of way and thereforyou took an action.

and so, consider that when writing your content,better yet, consider the people who may be reading that content. chuck: like your peers or better yet, potentialclients, right? what emotion drives them to take an action. include that kind of emotion in your contentand weave it in the words you’re writing so that way they can feel that emotion andtake-- and make contact with you. chuck: take advantage. number 9. chris: nine!

chuck: “poor grammar and spelling.” i know you’re talking 10 reasons your contentwill fail. chris: man, and if your audience is like anysort of english majors or something, shhh done. chuck: hey, look man, we’ve got-- i’mgoing to speak to this and i don’t even mind sharing this with y’all. we had a client right now who we-- so, we’vegot different packages, right? and one of our lower packages comes with alower quality content. chuck: it kind of is what it is.

but, so the client who’s on that packagewas a journalistic major and so she got this lower quality content, she-- chris: i think she vomited a little. like she vomited a little when she was reading. chuck: and we had to go in and of course youknow, upgrade it and make some changes, but the point is, poor grammar and spelling candefinitely have a negative effect on how your content is perceived. matter of fact he says, “nothing is worsethan clicking on an article and seeing a typo in the first sentence.

a small error can turn a great piece of contentinto worthless content.” he’s absolutely right because as soon asi see a misspelling, you know, grammar i’m kind of okay with because usually it’s okay,it’s just subjective. right, that i want to use you know, a contractionor both words, right? it’s just-- chris: suppose you x, y, z. chuck: yeah, it’s more-- grammar is moresubjective unless it’s run-on sentences and stuff, but misspellings though? ew, misspellings are not a good look, theymake you look like you didn’t care, make

it like you didn’t put any effort. more importantly-- chris: they make it look like i wrote it. chuck: yeah, his spelling’s horrible, likereally really horrible. chris: i like forward, nope that’s not it. try it again. oh, there we go, that’s good. chuck: well, the negative impact it reallyhas is that however great your article may be, however much time and resources you spenton gathering, and doing the research, and

creating those images, and shooting all thatvideo. chris: effort yeah. chuck: as soon as i see the misspelling, allof that has no more value, because now i don’t believe any of it. now i feel like you treated all of that withthe same effort that you treated this word right here, which was not much. chuck: take the time to read, re-read, letsomebody else read. chris: and get somebody else to read, andmaybe somebody else read. chuck: and then even after you post it, sharewith your inner circle first.

chuck: because they’ll be the ones to likelycatch said error and let you know, instead of just reading it and not saying nothing. chuck: last one. chris: give it to your friend who’s thejournalist major. give it to the friend who you know don’tlike you. they’ll be glad to tell you where you messedup at. chris: i’m very happy to let you know thatthere are 18 mistakes. chuck: yeah, you messed up here. chris: i actually printed it, put in on red--wrote it up-- marked it up with red and faxed

it to you. chris: i mean, scanned it and emailed it toyou. chuck: yeah, but get some other eyes on yourcontent. chuck: last one, number 10. chris: ten! chuck: he says, “you don’t have a strategy.” right and he’s talking about the 10 reasonsyour content will fail because you don’t have a strategy. he says, “make sure you know who your targetreader is,” i was just saying that, “and

what you want them to do after they read yourcontent.” yeah, so he’s not talking about necessarilya posting strategy. he’s talking about a content strategy likethe strategy behind what you wrote and why you wrote it. chuck: right he wants you to understand-- chris: what you’re trying to accomplish. who are your readers. are your readers you know, seekers? people who are just searching for information,or are they-- he says, are they joiners?

people who may you know, be loyal to you,join your newsletter. he says, are they sharers? people who will definitely shiko your content. or they could be buyers, right? people who are looking to purchase. and i’m going to add this to it, which hedid not have on the list, your readers could be haters. chris: oh yeah. chuck: we’re talking just people who don’tlike you but they track you.

competitor, right? all your competitors call them haters forthis purpose here and i guarantee you, they’re on your remarketing list. chris: and some of them are following you. chuck: yeah, i guarantee you they’ve subscribedto your newsletter, i guarantee you they follow you on all your social channels. i do with our competitors and most competitorsdo, that’s how you kind of stay active on the competitor landscape. and so you want to make sure that you havea strategy, even for them, right?

in that content because at the end of theday, we’ve had competitors a) send us referrals or b) their clients come to us because of said issueand so you want to make sure that your content kind of speaks to that also. so keep that strategy in mind when writingyour content. who’s reading it, what they’re going todo with it and more importantly, what you want them to do with it and then get thatin the content. chuck: dude. so that was “10 reasons your content willfail and what you can do about it,” from

danny goodwin and the good folks over at searchengine watch. great article, we’ll post this a littlelater. chris: danny goodwin, alright. excellent. do we have any what news? chuck: i don’t have no what news. chris: we don’t have any what news. chuck: i have no what news sir. chris: alright, so let’s see-- [00:31:44][indiscernible, mumbling] costumers.

first we’d like to just kind of touch in,we got a couple people following us on facebook live right now. if you enjoyed this podcast, if you get anythingout of this podcast, please find a place and write a review and also share it with threefriends, right? chuck: right now, go ahead, just-- chris: you do it right now, just like connecton facebook and then find any random picture and then tag three people in that post, inthat comment that you might like. chuck: he gave you extra step, find a randompicture. i’m going to just ask you to hit the shareicon, tag three of your friends and then hit

post. chris: yup, that’ll be the fastest. chuck: if you, you know, that’s how youdo that. if you’re watching on like youtube rightnow, share that video, tag three people, hit copy that link, paste it in twitter, tweetit to three people. however you want to do it, we’re just lookingfor three types of social engagements. chris: most of your podcast apps have a wayto click share and get it over to a couple of people. so we really appreciate that.

chuck: thank you so much. chris: hey, if you’re looking to grow yourbusiness with the largest, simplest, marketing tool on the planet-- chuck: the internet. chris: please reach out to ewebresults forincrease revenue in your business. our phone number is 713-592-6724. if you have a referral, that’s somebodywho’s interested in internet marketing services from starting a website all the way through--i don’t know what the end is, right? chuck: yeah, there is no end.

chris: the end, social media? no. you know so, right? chuck: yeah, from starting-- building a websiteto email marketing, social media marketing, search engine optimization, pay-per-clickmanagement, any of those things where it regards advertising and promotion in a digital landscape,then hit us up. chris: send them to us, when they pay theirbill, we pay you. we got a referral program in place. i am still, you know this is going to cometo me-- i am doing-- and this-- it’s actually

getting excited we’ll promote this today. so, i’m kind of co-founding upsocialnetwork,which is a networking organization here in houston, we broadcast live. up stands for unleashing the potential ofyour social network. it’s phenomenal and we’re going to gofor a guinness book of world records chuck: ey, this is big right here. chuck: like tune in because we might needyour help. chris: 24 hours on air, 300 interviews, guinnesson-site. man, stay connected with us, we’ll be talkingmore about that.

we’re going to need your help actually promotingour kickstarter campaign which we’ll have available next week. i’m excited. i mean this going to be-- chuck: yeah, that’s good news, i think wecan do it, you know? i think it’s going to be interesting, i’mlooking forward to the challenge. chris: this is going to be very good. alright so, finally we have-- oh! we got a-- i’m working on-- it’s almostwrapped up, it’s a social media education

package. so this is an online system, it’s monthly,it’s in the price range of $300 a month and you get access to this great social mediacontent. i’m doing kind of the final review of thatcontent now, that’ll be coming to you soon. so charles, one of the components of why yourcontent will fail is because you didn’t get it out there. chuck: yeah, you didn’t promote it. that was number 7. chris: yeah, so if you want to be able toget it out there, you got to have solid social

media accounts, solid social media engagementand this teaches you how to do that step by step. it’s pretty awesome and we’re going tohave that soon so stay tuned. and finally, please remember, we’re filmedlive here at 5999, west 34th street, suite 106, houston, texas, 77092. you can get the audio, the video and transcriptsof this podcast on our website-- chuck: ewebresults.com. chris: yes, and we want to thank you. chuck: yeah, appreciate you.

chris: before we sign off, yeah. we want to thank you. you guys have made us the most popular internetmarketing podcast on itunes, in the known universe, whatever. chuck: on itunes, man we’re shooting thatstitcher. i want to just give a punch in the face toall of the people who’re blogging, who seem like every month we get somebody else addsour podcast to some top list of podcasts you need to listen to. so thank you for that support.

chris: thank you. chuck: and look here authors, any authorsright now. man, hit us up on twitter. you got articles you want reviewed, want usto look at, you know hit us up. chris: excellent and i think that wraps itup. chris: until the next podcast, this is chuckand chris. i’m really appreciating you. until next time, i’m chris burres. chuck: i’m charles lewis.

chris: bye bye for now.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

puppets house

i don’t understand how you could fall. i wasn’t me… not you? somebody pushed me. lena, i have a surprisefor you. a surprise. heroes die in her books andtheir prototypes die in reality. i was pushed. who pushed you? it was dubrovina.

star media presents calm down! well, well, well… where is it? ‒‚ what is it?‒‚ no, this is not what we need… guys, what are you looking for? the weapon. the weapon? in my house? are you crazy? nika, we think that somebodywas shot from that weapon. yes. dances of the puppets

created by ekaterina kostikova director of photography –alexander yefeshkin art director – svetlana smirnova hello? hello? yes.this is yulia. i don’t know.when do you want me to come? what’s the matter, yulia?why is the vacuum-cleaner in the middle of the room? who called? it was mansurov. martha rudolfovna.he wants me to sit to him for a portrait! how interesting! what did youanswer? you agreed, i hope?

no. i didn’t have time to.i hang up accidentally. call him back and arrange themeeting. why are you staring? i must know when i amnot able to count on you. you are not against it, are you? why would i? he invitesyou not for a black mass, but to sit for a portrait, as i understand. no, no, no. nothing here too. does anybody want some tea? ‒‚ thank you.‒‚ thanks.

you know, serezha, i think thatyulia put the gun in the teapot. i’m sorry. you see, she must havehidden it somewhere here. in your house. there is no other place! makar? ‒‚ vesta! vesta!‒ she found something, give it to me! ‒ maybe you have found something, did you?‒ come on! a great find! is it whatyou were looking for? will you give me a lift?

get in. i don’t want to disappoint you,but i think you’re mistaken. hold this. we’ll have to agree with you.sorry for the mess. this is fine. drop in some other time!i’ll treat you to tea! good luck! good-bye! open the curtains. the sun is shining.

‒ forgive us one more time.‒ this is ok. ‒ i’ll clean up, if you want.‒ no need to. everything is fine. ‒ are you sure?‒ i am. ‒ good-bye, then.‒ yes. good-bye. good luck. ‒ the tea was incredible.‒ thank you. sorry for the troublesonce more. is it ok? it is. everything is fine. it really is. wait! come on! wait. what about my dog?where are you? hey!

i’m sick and tired of you… what have you done? what have you done? nika, i’m sorry but… what did you do, bastard?what are you doing? ‒ i’m very sorry.‒ nika, sorry. ‒ i beg our pardon.‒ he chewed all our pillows too. he doesn’t do it all the time… it’s just… it’s ok. it’s my father’s pillow. here we go!

you called yelena dubrovina.i can’t answer at the moment. leave your messageand i’ll call you back. lena, answer! we need to talk.this is urgent. lena, i know everything. i can help you. lena, don’t keep silent. lena, answer! we shalltalk, this is urgent. i know that people whom you madeyour heroes died in real life just like in your books. the oldferopontova told me everything. she saw the killer. i don’tblame you. i can help you, lena.

lena, please don’t keep silent.please answer the phone! great! beauty, you may chew what you want now! not in my house, please. sorry again. i hope this is whatyou were looking for. we hope so too. good boy! these pomeranianspitzes are clever dogs. yes, they are.

what do you mean? wait, this is the puppy ofthe southern-russian sheep dog! did you really believe that? look, but how… good for you, babkin! it doesn’t look a sheep dog at all. however, it looks justlike a pomeranian spitz. ‒‚ makar!‒‚ stop it, serezha! ‒‚ makar!‒‚ let’s go!

‒‚ makar, what are you doing?‒ come on! makar! good! you did well, animal! nika! serezha, tell me please…why is it important for you to be an expert in dogs? maybeyou shall forget about it. you’re not a cynologist, after all. you’re right. babkin, i’m sick and tired of you!let’s go!

give me the pillow back, please. i’m sorry. good-bye. sorry. yes. it’s nothing. where are you looking? i needyour eyes. your face! good! you’re a goddess! a fairy!where have you been before? how did you come into my life? what? i’m sorry. i just am a bitcold. i am not a fairy, am i? oh, god, forgive me, please!she is cold! forgive me, the idiot!

i’m sorry. we’ll sortit out now. here you go! thank you. you’re sitting for me, but idon’t know anything about you. my story is not very exciting. why? however, you… you’re an artist. it is a different world for me.tell me about yourself! don’t be afraid. it startedlong ago when mum took me to the tretyakov gallery…

what about my portrait? the portrait is… how do you like it? does it look like you? not really. i see you like this. wait for five minutes, please! all right. damn it! damn it! dubrovina! dubrovina! vasya, hi. did youcome to the dubrovins?

who else? they are not home. where are they? olga petrovna went to thepolyclinics in the morning. lena left half an hourago. i saw her myself. where did she go? i don’t know. she doesn’t report to me. let’s go! so, you were going downthe stairs, heard the steps,

turned around and he pushedyou at that moment. here you go. she… it was a woman. can you describe her? i only saw her fleetingly. she had black bushy brows… sunken eyes… what about her hairdo?the color of her hair? i didn’t see. she was in a hat…or in a hood. i didn’t see.

do you have something? does she look like her? very good, babkin!all togoyev’s accounts in offshores are on this flash-cards!his plant got a state order from the ministry of agriculture. now i know where he hid the money. we’ll arrest these accounts and togoyev will getinto prison for long. i have old scores with him…from the 90-ies.

i remember. i was happyto help. good luck! korneyev used to workas a deputy prosecutor. they were working on togoyev and wanted to open acase on him. they failed. the prosecutor was shot in his carby the prosecutor’s office building. don’t worry about oleg borisovitch. if korneyev works on him,he won’t get away. look, makar… what? how did you guess that sakharova kept

compromising materials abouttogoyev in nika’s house? she could have hiddenthem at konetskaya’s place. yulia sakharova lefther friend tserkovnikova. she didn’t take money. she onlyhad a small bag with lingerie and a flash card in her pocket. imagine togoyev’s peoplecatching her in the street. do you know what they’d do with her? yes. they’d take herback to her loving father. exactly. they’d also searchher and find a flash-card.

dad would get rid ofhis problematic daughter. why didn’t i guess about it at once? the reason why she quarreledwith her friend. it was evident! what? sakharova was scandalous. do you remember why they quarreled? because of some trifle. exactly! because of the cleaning-up! sakharova shouted at her friendbecause she cleaned her room. do you think she couldquarrel for no reason at all?

especially with a person you depend on. well? sakharova got scared that nika mightfind her flash-card. do you get it? this is interestingand we shall sort it out. don’t wait for me tonight. levashov was the head ofthe entering committee. he was the man i hada conflict with. and… he said: “forgive me. i was wrong”. it is incredible!

i like that you know how to listen.this is a rare quality. there is some mystery in you…such femininity, such rarity… what skin! god!your skin is so soft. what eyes! let me kiss you… kristina? you asked me to bring you the canvases. i’m sorry. it’s time for me to go. it was some inexhaustiblefountain of eloquence! first i sat for him forthree hours in a row. i got cold and numb.

then he was telling me abouthis life for another three hours. i thought everything wouldbe beautiful as in a movie. a prince on a white horseand absolute happiness. however, he turned out to bea bore. his breath stinks too… it happens. martha rudolfovna, i… why are you here? you should be in the hospitalwith the soup and medicines. i’m going, martha rudolfovna, i’m going.

it is silly to think thata prince will come to you, take you to his palaceand make you happy. nobody can make you happybut for yourself, remember it! beauty is a cover. princes go bald andprincesses become old hags. will we have dinner todayor am i to die of hunger? one second. one second! lena, if you’re home, answer, please! lena, i know whathappened. i can help you.

don’t do it! calm down,calm down… this is it. everything will be fine.calm down, calm down… here, here… all right. i’ll be close by. mummy, i don’t know whatto do. my life is ruined. don’t worry, daughter.he loves you. you’re his wife. this is the most important thing.yulia is nothing more than a fleeting infatuation.artists are infatuated easily… she is not just an infatuation!he is painting her portrait!

she doesn’t even talk to me! it’ll pass soon. everythingwill be as it used to be before. mum, you don’t understand!he fell for this little bitch! that bloody martha and her protage! god, i wish i’d never agreedto drink coffee with her that evening! what evening?what are you talking about? that girl was there… a waiter. she spilled coffee onsomebody’s pants, i think. we argued. i said thatthe girl was very ugly

and martha said thatanyone may become a beauty. then martha brought her to the gallery. roman started hopping around her and decided to paint her portrait. i don’t know what to do, mum! how did you find me? this is how. i visitedall our favorite places. this place is not my favorite. yes. i remembered how youwere writing your “blood oath”.

the hero wanted to commit a suicide. however, he didn’t wantit to look like a suicide. you talked about this place.few people come here. an injection, collapse of the lungs…. the medicine that disappearsfrom blood in 12 hours. when the body is found, no traces of themedicine will be present. you wanted it to look like this. i got scared. i got scaredthat i would come too late.

lena, how could you?you knew that it was not a reason. you said that it was cowardly…even for the heroes of your books. you don’t understand.i killed them. i killed all of them. they were alive, and nowthey are not here anymore, they are dead. all becausei didn’t manage to stop. i was trying, honestly.with that physicist… i told myself that it was thelast time. that he was the last. then i got acquainted with konetskaya. it turned out that itwas stronger than me.

one may say that it worked out fine. however, this is onlytemporary. just for now. how else can i stop this nightmare? tell me if you know! tell me! yes! how can you help me? you can’t! where? come on. we shall talkto somebody. come on. what has happened?they told me that you wanted to talk to me urgently.has something happened?

are you unwell? kristina came. this is great. i’m veryhappy that she remembered about her mother at last. drink! she told me everything! how could you do that to her? how could you? when you broughtthat girl yulia into the house, i asked you why you did it.do you remember? you didn’t answer. today kristina came.

her life is falling to pieces…you planned it all. you presented yulia to mansurov. you saw that she lookedlike kristina and realized that he would fall for her…why did you do it, martha? i did it, because your daughterdoesn’t see anything around her, except for her beloved husband!and you miss her so much! i know it. you see eachother once every two years! why do you dispose ofother people’s lives? people are not puppets!i didn’t ask you about it!

you know, if i waiteduntil you asked me, we’d have died of theold age seven times! valya, this girl does looklike kristina in her youth. yes, i presented her to mansurov.what should i do? look at your sufferings?when did she last congratulate you on your birthday? do you remember? your daughter is a user,a petty selfish gal! i just wanted you to be happy! this is it! you can’t make me happy against my will.

people are not puppets andthis is not a puppet theatre, and you’re not a puppeteer.i love you very much, my clever martha…however, don’t make anything up. life is still cleverer. i came to valentina at thehospital and met kristina there. she was sitting there crying: “mansurov doesn’t talk to me,he is infatuated, what do i do, mum”… this is all because of you! wait. i don’t get it.kristina? his wife?

yes. what does valentina have to do with it? kristina is her daughter. whose? valentina’s. didn’t you know? i see. wait. does that means… i thought that everybodyknew. did you hear that? yulia!

i think this is for you. oh, god! this is thelast thing that i need. yulia! i couldn’t leavewithout seeing you. i’m sorry, roman. i shouldn’t have agreed tosit for you. it won’t work out. wait, yulia. what areyou saying? yulia, yulia! go home. your wife must be worrying. do you think that my wife isa problem? you’re wrong, yulia! your wife is not the problem.the problem is within me.

nobody will make mehappy but for myself. yulia, yulia! well, yelena alexandrovna? think once more.does this face ring a bell? i don’t think so. i don’tunderstand who it is — a man or a roman. it might be anyone. i’m sorry but i can’t help you. a 12-year old boy triedto strangle his brother because he was laughingtoo loud. a 15-year old girl

crushed her granny’shead against a radiator because she didn’t let her go to dances. how nice! i examined her. she is a nice girl. your sakharova who stabbedher neighbor because of a doll… you can’t imagine howmany of such cases exist. what are the reasons? the reasons? first of all, heredity.however, if children grow up

in an unfavorable environment,the risk of relapse grows. members of the family fall victimsof their fits of aggression most often. i see… i analyzed sakharova’s medicalhistory and may tell you: people who are close toher are in constant danger. how often may such fitsof aggression happen? are you interested in the statistics? about 70 %of patientswith such a diagnose experience relapses regularly.she may burst at any minute

for no reason at all.for example, if she gets angry. and she may get angry because of anything. for example, if she is not loved.or if she feels unloved. if her plans are ruined.or if she thinks that her plans are ruined. what is going on? what are you doing, yulia? i’ll explain that to you!you were using me! you don’t care for people! you don’t give a damnfor their feelings!

you’re playing with peopleas if they were puppets! what’s wrong with you? you’re an old hag!people like you shall be killed! yulia, take this away. i thought that there wasnobody worse than my father. yulia, please. it turned out that you’re even worse. my father is a psychopath.he was concussed… please!

…at the war. but you! you were doing it in your sound mind!people like you shall not live! what is going on here? i don’t believe it.this is some nonsense! you stopped writing becauseyour heroes’ prototypes started dying like yourheroes. try to remember how you got to know about it.i read about that in a newspaper. brilliant! can you remember whoshowed that newspaper to you? who knew about youraffairs? whom did you meet?

who were you writing about?whom did you show your rough copies? who was your main critic?who was the first to tell you that an accident happenedwith your former neighbor, that she fell under thetrain in the underground? talk to murasheva. she’ll tellyou who pushed her at the stairs. you may not believe me oryour neighbor. but murasheva! she is not senile. she saw who did it. however incredible it may seem... oh, god! mummy!

this is it. calm down… i don’t understand! who pushedmurasheva from the stairs? no, sakharova orderedher auntie’s murder. however, the executor alreadyhad a bullet in his head when murasheva was attacked! can it be a coincidence?an attempt of robbery? nobody answers. we shallgo and check it out. don’t eat pillows! makar, why are we running? it is not fire!

i have a bad premonition.i’m afraid that sakharova may lose her temper,if she hasn’t lost it yet. one moment… i can’t do it. it was a joke. look, how did you open that door? i’ll show you later. ‒‚ be quiet. they are there.‒‚ be quiet, i tell you! well… calm down, calm down, calm down. i beg you not to doit. put the knife aside.

who are you? my name is makar ilyushin.your father hired me. ‒‚ stand where you’re, makar ilyushin.‒‚ i’m standing. raise your hands, both of you. ‒‚ throw your guns away.‒‚ we’re doing it. further away from you! good boys! what shall i do with you?bad timing! ‒‚ you must have agreed to spoil my life!‒‚ calm down, calm down! first yulia interfered, then you.and it was going so well!

what are you doing? do you know how hard itried to make her trust me? let’s discuss it calmly and… discuss? my fatherwanted to discuss it too. you think that i’m an idiot. well, yulia… we realize that youhad problems with your father… you understand everythingso well, makar ilyushin. you shall know that ilove solving my problems. that’s why i hate it whensomeone creates them for me.

and people do it all the time.first my mother. i told her: “mum, let me go to myfather in moscow”. she said: “no, daughter! sit in yuryev”.when i was in the 8th grade, i escaped to my father to moscow. do you know what thatbitch did, i mean my mum? she turned to the police!the police brought me back home! she was clinging to me all the time!she didn’t want to leave me in peace! she was trying to give me orders.i didn’t have any other choice but to turn her life into hell.

when she decided to die,i didn’t interfere… calm down, calm down. yulia, let her go.she has nothing to do with it. you know, if policecome, they won’t talk… i’m sick and tired of this conversation! first i’ll get rid of the old hag,then of this little fool and then decide what todo with you. is that clear? meanwhile stand still and shut up! leave yulia alone. shehas nothing to do with it.

i can’t. i’m sick and tired of her too. ‒‚ makar!‒‚ hold her! ‒‚ the knife, the knife!‒ how are you, yulia? i’ll call the ambulance. are you ok? no. i can’t live with it. i must get to know who is guilty,why and what happened. i think the conversationwith the psychiatrist explained many things to you…

his explanations were foreseeable. depression that accumulatedduring the years, hard childhood in theorphanage that left my mother with a bouquet of neuroses…an unlucky marriage and me, who became her sole sense of life.this is why she didn’t let me communicate with my fatherand guarded me against men. she used to say thatfamily life was an illusion and love was a real headache.i still don’t understand how it happened that mymother whom i loved so much

became a monster. i didn’tnotice when it happened to her. let’s go. come on. pray, pray and pray some ore.don’t forget about lent. don’t forget that thosein heavens think about you. have no doubts that everythingwill be all right. i promise. this is our predestination.we won’t escape it. this is not scary. believe me. read bible more and pray.pray, pray and pray.

‒‚ i have a good piece of news for you.‒‚ well? togoyev may only becomea deputy of the prison. here you go, my honey! eat! criminal proceedings wereinstigated against him. all his crimes were disclosed.therefore, good-bye, the state council and hello, the prison! his lawyers were jumpingout of their skins but didn’t manage to bail him out. i suggest celebrating it!look at what i have!

what is it? these are two invitationsfor the high fashion week. konetskaya gave them to me asa thank you. can you imagine? she said that we are badly dressed! konetskaya is anenergetic but lonely lady. all her husbands diedand she has no children. she is looking forsomebody to take care of. right. first she gaverefuge to her friend, then a mad niece, and nowshe is thinking about us…

by the way… why lia? what do you mean — “why lia”? why did konetskaya call her niece “lia”? “lia” is a short name of “yulia”. konetskaya’s granny has called so, and yulia was namedafter her… i mean lia. she says that the girl lookedlike her granny very much. this is why she gave her therefuge and wrote a testament. she wanted to have children very much!

this is what she got! yes, she did. do you knowthat the girl still lives with konetskaya? no. who is that girl? where is she from? she is nobody. she is anordinary 20-year old girl from around moscow. her fateis difficult. her mother died. her father was drinking.he was concussed and started threatening her with a gun. she couldn’t stand itand escaped from her home.

some driver picked her up andgave her a lift to the city. she found a job at a caf?where konetskaya met her. she is making a big fuss overher now. the girl is lucky. yes. she is. do you want it? fetch! what a silly dog! father, wait, please!i wanted to talk to you. my mother is here. i wanted to ask you… do you want me to hear her confession? no. i think i’m the onewho needs to confess.

all right. i’m listening. you see, mum harmed peoplefor the sake of my happiness. do you understand? it seemedto her that i’d be happy if she protected mefrom the large world, if she tied me to her.she loved me more than life. and what happened? this is not love. this is selfishness. human selfishness often hidesunder the mask of good intentions. or indulgence of one’s fears.

every person has hisor her predetermination. god is a compass that helps to find it. if a person gets lost on his life road,his life loses its sense. without a sense, one may easilybecome a puppet in the hands of evil forces. every singleday and hour we make our choice — to wander in the fog of ourdoubts and fears or to go to the inner light. please understand —only god may determine a person’s fate. it is importantfor him what a person wants. one can’t live another person’s life…

however, one may try to live his own. this is banal! this is boring. you shall learn to work with colors.where is the line? here it is. this is primitive. i sawit 1000 times! where is you? where is your sight, where is your face? you’re going to enterthe textiles academy. what will you show? these? you won’t be able to sell suchclothes even at the market!

this is terrible, whata nightmare! this is… this is better. and this is fine too. really? do you really think so? did you call the taxi? are we going to the defile today? ‒‚ we are.‒‚ it’s half past three! ‒‚ we’re going!‒‚ call the taxi! i’m running! end of episode four