Saturday, December 31, 2016

puppets got talent

happy to be together on "happy together"! - nice to meet you. / - hello. saeho is not here today. - is he fired? / - i knew it was bound to happen. - you knew about it? / - you look so delighted today. you got me. saeho has been very entertaining on "happy together". he vanished all of a sudden. - he was very funny. / - that's what i'm saying.

we've got to work hard to make this show more fun without him. someone came all of a sudden. saeho's gone and we have a guest. - who is it? / - buy the wedding box! - welcome... what a surprise! / - buy the wedding box! gosh. it's saeho. - goodness. / - buy the wedding box! - saeho wasn't gone after all. / - i see.

- buy the wedding box! / - the squid is smelly. what did you bring the wedding box for? - our guests are newlywed husbands. / - is that right? buy the wedding box! - please welcome the first guest. / - all right. he was known as one of the four old bachelors along with kim gunmo, shin seunghun and kim minjong. he's now married to a prosecutor who is 14 years younger than him.

- the baby face kim wonjun is here! / - welcome! - my goodness. / - wow. - wonjun. / - congratulations. he's a newlywed husband. he looks like a newlywed husband. - have a seat. / - he just got married last week. - give me a second. / - are we doing it right away? - wait. / - he just got married last week. this is a traditional korean ritual.

live a happy life. (i wish you a happy life with your future children) (this is meant to wish you a happy life) we wish you a happy life. (should we be scared?) - wonjun was the first husband. / - yes. let's welcome our second guest. he was formerly the best starcraft gamer. he's now a professional poker player.

sadly, he's now the least important person among his family. lim yohwan is here. - welcome. / - he's here. - yohwan, please sit here. / - don't be scared. - come over here. / - come over here. - he's so slow. / - his wedding day is coming up. - it's may 8th. / - yes. are you getting married or not?

- i am. / - then sit down. (if you're getting married, sit down!) - sit down. / - sit down. - take off his socks. / - no, don't. - he's wearing stylish socks. / - right. be good to your parents. (be good to your parents) you should be good to your parents. it really hurts!

it hurts! he captured this woman's heart with his magic. he's the best illusionist in korea. the magician lee eungyeol is here. - hello. / - welcome. - my goodness. / - have a seat. (have a seat first) - even the magician can't avoid it. / - of course. he has huge feet.

- my gosh. / - all right. - hold on. / - it works as acupressure. - it's good for your stamina. / - yes, it is. - here we go. / - it's good for your health. (this is all for eungyeol's happy married life) this is good for you. he was famous for his line, "who's going to raise the cow?" now he's found a woman

he can spend the rest of his life with. park youngjin! (park youngjin is a funny husband) - come over here. / - i will. - live a happy life. / - i wish you the same. this is for your stamina. stamina, stamina. these are the four hot newlywed husbands that we have invited for today.

- welcome. / - please give them a warm welcome. is there a rule that old men cannot be on variety shows? i'm the best! there is no woman who likes that. oh, really? (his hands move faster than saeho's eyes) gayeon disapproves of it right away. that was a brave move.

you are both working on the wedding, right? all men have a fantasy about the honeymoon. i feel great. - hold on. / - what is that? - what's up? / - he got beaten on his calf. did you fall asleep in exhaustion? no, i didn't. many people are getting married these days because it's spring.

hyunmoo, it's about time for you to get married. you can get married now. he went to find a new home a while ago. you just have to get married now. your face doesn't look good. i should get married one day. whoever my bride will be, - i'll announce it here first. / - please do. will you announce it on "happy together"?

we'll pretend we don't know anything until you announce it, then. what are you talking about? - we'll pretend / - don't make it up. there's nothing. that we don't know anything until you announce it. - we'll stay silent. / - what are you talking about? yohwan's wedding day is coming up soon. yes. it's may 8th.

- may 8th. / - it's parents' day. why are you getting married on parents' day? there's no reason behind it. jaeseok is going to host our wedding ceremony. he told me that he's available only on that day. - my goodness. / - is that for real? - my goodness. / - let me explain. - i can't believe you. / - i'm baffled. i had a conversation with gayeon before.

she asked me to be the host for her wedding. i told her that i'd love to be the host. - you are friends, right? / - yes, we are. she suddenly called me last october. she told me that she's getting married, so i congratulated her. she said, "you told me that you'd become the host." she asked me when i was available. i was fully scheduled on weekends.

- she asked. / - and she said, "all right." she called me again, "i discussed it with my husband." "we'll set the date according to your schedule." i could not believe it. i couldn't believe that they'd set the date according to the host. i asked her, "what about your parents and your in-laws?" "that's fine. we're going to stick with our decision."

that's how they decided to get married on parents' day. if you were available in winter, we would've gotten married in winter. seriously. - it could've been next year. / - she was resolute. excuse me, but aren't you afraid of your wife? we're not related but i'm still afraid of your wife. "come to our wedding." "you know what will happen if you don't come." she was serious.

we're close but i'm scared of her. aren't you afraid of her? if i try to beat her when we argue, she will turn scary. i've only seen her for a few times when we were on the same shows. - she texted me. / - what did she say? she asked me if i can come to her wedding. i told her,

"i'll let you know after checking my schedule." "what schedule?" we're not even that close. i ended up texting her about my schedule. - he reported his schedule. / - i told her the schedule and that i'll try to go. - gayeon is like that. / - she was thorough. she told me that i'll regret forever if i don't attend her wedding.

"you'll regret" - "forever." / - i'm afraid she'll hit me. i'm always intimidated to see her. - are you serious? / - i'm being honest. - gayeon / - oh, dear. has a great charisma. jaeseok hosts a lot of wedding ceremonies. he hosted wonjun's wedding, too. i was the host last week.

last week, we filmed this show at 7 a.m. it was because i was the host for his wedding that day. those who saw the show last week must know. our faces were swollen. - we filmed at 7 a.m. / - my apologies. my eyes were puffy. my friend got married at the age of 45. i wouldn't have done it if he got married in his 30s.

he asked me a favor for the first time in 45 years. it was the first time he asked jaeseok a favor. that's why i asked the crew members to change the schedule. didn't you host his wedding because his wife is a prosecutor? - that's not the reason. / - really? - it was for him. / - did you get something in return? - i did it for wonjun. / - thank you, my friend.

did you like him as a host? - how was he? / - i was really pleased. you two are best friends. how was he when you were getting married? yes. i called him up with courage. i knew that he'd be busy. i asked him if he was busy. he said, "yes. what's up?" i asked him, "do you know why i called you?" he was quiet for a moment.

but he immediately said, "congratulations!" we usually text each other. he figured out that i was getting married right away. i told him about the wedding date. he told me that he'd try to make it since he has a schedule that day. - that's right. / - i waited for his answer. i met his wife in person. - i heard she's beautiful. / - she is beautiful.

what's the age difference between the two of you? - 10... / - 14 years. - 14 years? / - that's correct. - that's more than 12 years. / - you're amazing. usually, when i host wedding ceremonies, i say, "we'll begin the wedding ceremony of groom kim wonjun" - "and the bride." / - that's right. i paused for a moment. i wasn't sure if i could call him mr. kim wonjun

because he's old. "the groom, mr. kim wonjun..." you could've called him "the old." "the old mr. kim wonjun." that didn't sound right, either. some use their nom de plume. like "the show, mr. kim wonjun"? "the show." - there will be a caption. / - "the show."

they got married at the prosecutors' office. many prosecutors marry there. - at the supreme prosecutors' office. / - wow. the bride's co-workers who are also prosecutors - sang the nuptial song for them. / - that's cool. what did they sing? what was the song they sang? "nameless gangster - rules of time"? ("nameless gangster - rules of time")

♪ i heard it through the grapevine ♪ - no way. / - goodness. prosecutors usually have strong personalities - because of their work. / - what is your wife like? she isn't like that at all. have you never felt that she has a strong personality? - she's really kind and wise. / - i see. she often advises me. - is that right? / - what kind of advice?

she advises me on life. you're 14 years older than her. age doesn't matter. - this is love. / - young people can also advise. - it's not even legal counsel. / - she must be wise. she could advise him on life. - it's not even a legal counsel. / - she must be wise. - she was good at school. / - it's possible that you go to see houses

with a girl who's not even your girlfriend. you got real estate consultation with her. you carried her bag, too. yes, you could totally carry her bag. you can invite a girl to your place even if she's not your girlfriend. - it's totally possible. / - she's not your girlfriend but you got her a place and carried her bag. (hyunmoo is speechless)

wake up, hyunmoo. (it's time to wake up) i'm awake. (he woke up) did you give him enough monetary gift for his wedding? i did. you hosted their wedding and you gave them monetary gift? - yes, i did. / - did he give you a lot of money?

were you surprised - with the amount of money he gave? / - it wasn't much. (was it a lot of money) (or was it a decent amount of money?) thank you, my friend. (thank you, my friend) "thank you, my friend." "my friend." (wonjun almost kissed jaeseok)

you almost kissed him! - goodness. / - he seems to be in love with him. - were you going to kiss him? / - i was so surprised. i was so surprised. - i was thankful for his time. / - don't mention it. on top of that, he was really generous. i was moved. my wife was especially moved. if your wife was deeply moved by jaeseok's generosity, please tell her to let it slide

in case jaeseok gets arrested. - what are saying? / - please pass that to her. - we never know what will happen. / - that's nonsense. she should cut some slack on him. - she needs to be fair to everyone. / - i know. all i'm asking is be nice and warm to jaeseok. what do you mean by "nice and warm"? fine. arrest him, then. what do you want me to say?

she's a prosecutor. there's no way she'll be like that. since she's a prosecutor... since she's a prosecutor, she needs to be stern and sharp. - i mean... / - you want her to cut slack on him. that's not what i'm saying. at least she can be nice to him. "i didn't expect you to commit such a crime." "what happened?"

by the way, hyeongyeong, don't you have many weddings to attend lately? i'm still pretty young. - is that for real? / - you're over 30 years old. you'll be in your late 30s soon. you sound like you're in your early 20s. - hyeongyeong. / - you'll be 40 years old soon. you're not young at all. my friends are planning to get married late.

- that's the reason. / - women in her age catch the bouquet at the wedding. they catch the bouquet. - i caught a bouquet once. / - is that for real? it was my close friend's wedding. i burned it. (i burned the bouquet) - is that for real? / - why did you burn it? there's a myth that you need to burn the bouquet,

if you don't want to get married in three years. it has been six months since you caught the bouquet. if not... did you burn it because you weren't going to get married in six months? - i burned it. / - you're a scary woman. - you may never get married. / - it's a myth. - she's a scary woman. / - i agree. jaeseok also gave youngjin a big wedding gift.

i couldn't attend his wedding. we haven't really had a chance to meet and he's a senior comedian. i was a little shy so i didn't even invite him to my wedding. on the wedding day, - he sent a huge garland. / - wow. there was a label with jaeseok's name. i thought

jaeseok was the garland. it looked like jaeseok had a makeover to look like a garland. i was not sure if it was really from jaeseok. there weren't many garlands, so it stood out. - he didn't expect it. / - i felt great. many guests have come a long way to attend the wedding. rather than taking pictures with myself, they took pictures with the garland.

even my friends took pictures with the garland from jaeseok. you've dated your wife for 14 years - before you got married. / - really? - is that for real? / - you've dated her long, right? they have 14 years of age difference and i've dated my wife for 14 years. you got married on the same date as when you first dated your wife.

it was either 2001 or 2002. - am i right? / - how would i know that? - it was 14 years ago. / - why did he ask me? it was 14 years ago. because you are sitting next to him, you look like an assistant beside the magician. there's no assistant who would dress in tracksuits. - i could be an assistant. / - they look like a team. - it was sunny afternoon, right? / - that's right.

- sunny afternoon is right. / - yes. it was. we discussed when we should get married. we decided to get married on our anniversary, - which was sunday, too. / - i see. you've dated her for a very long time. how did you first meet? on the first floor of the building where i worked, there was a cafe. she worked as a part-timer.

her beauty caught your eyes. - this is like a drama. / - it's like magic. i liked her right from the start. my office was on the third floor. the cafe took up the 1st and 2nd floor. she was on the first floor. one day, i got into an elevator without a reason. the elevator stopped on the second floor and i thought, "i will talk to her if she gets in."

- you had that thought. / - yes. and she got in the elevator. - it was fate. / - i said, "excuse me." however, i didn't know what to say afterwards. the elevator reached the first floor and the doors opened. she answered, "yes?" and waited. (they quietly looked at each other on the first floor)

about 30 to 40 seconds passed. - this is like a movie. / - then... you should have pulled out a dove then. come on. (that would have been funny) why would he pull out a dove in that situation? a pacifist will love doves. - she might have been a pacifist. / - i asked her if she could meet me at the cafe 30 minutes later.

- did you ask her? / - yes. - what did she say? / - she said, "okay." we sat opposite of each other on the long table. - you and she chatted. / - yes. i asked her number. we went out afterwards. i guess she liked your advances. apparently, she had feelings for me. (his wife had feelings for him) did she know who you were?

i had just started working back then with my hair spiked. - i remember that. / - i was on a show. please give me the ring. (spiky hair) this symbolizes love. you will break up with him but will meet him again. (he was a young magician with stage manners and skills) i heard that your first impression of your wife

was special. yes, it was. it was very strange. one day, she looked brusque, agitated, - and tired. / - really? the next day, she looked fresh - and greeted me warmly. / - why was she so different? she changed from day to day. so i wondered if she had a bipolar disorder.

i was concerned because her attitude changed on a daily basis. later on, i found out that she has a twin sister. - they were twins? / - really? - who was the tired one? / - her sister. - she was the tired one. / - that was a relief. - don't be mean. / - she was the tired one. she is his sister-in-law. - no, you asked him first. / - don't be rude.

i only described her as "brusque." the tired one was your wife's twin sister. - are they identical twins? / - yes. i wondered if i could use them for a performance. my goodness. you are an opportunist. because they are twins. twins must be the best for teleportation magic. do friends and family help with magic tricks? - that's interesting. / - that's how magic tricks work.

i wanted to come up with a trick. i have seen a magic trick with twins. when one disappeared on the stage, the other descended from a helicopter. - that's not how it works. / - no? - i was mistaken. / - saeho is a swindler. - i didn't know. / - he is a swindler. call your wife so she can arrest him.

why do you want them to be arrested? please ask her to forgive me. i will live an honest life. have you ever made a mistake because of your wife's twin sister? have you ever been confused? people can't tell them apart, but i can. the tired-looking one is my wife's twin sister. (the cheerful one is his wife)

- it's understandable. / - "tired." that's how he described her from the start. the one who looks tired is his sister-in-law. the one who doesn't look tired is your wife. i heard that your wife and her twin sister had been on the stage as your helpers. they did help me for a performance. - really? / - which role did your wife play? - she was my first assistant. / - really?

she had a crucial role. did you cut her with a knife? i used to hate such magic tricks, so i didn't do them at first. why did you hate them? i apologize for bringing them up. - i don't like silly magic tricks. / - i see. i thought, "why do magicians cut female assistants?" i couldn't understand why magicians

- had to cut and saw women. / - i see. i used to not do magic tricks that i find unacceptable. i only started doing them later. you did them later. did you find them acceptable later? when my wife quit and i got a new assistant, i started doing magic tricks that involve cutting. (he cut his second assistant) youngjin, i heard

that your attempt to get married on a special day - led to troubles. / - what kind of troubles? i heard that your wife scolded you. my wife and i wanted to get married in january. available dates were 9th and 23rd. january 9th is my wife's birthday. i thought it would be meaningful for us to be born again on my wife's birthday.

(let's be born again on your birthday) the day of our wedding would be our second birthday. - how meaningful! / - right. i wanted to convince my wife and set the date, but - she got angry. / - why? she said, "this is my birthday." she made plans with her friends for her birthday. - do you understand his wife? / - i understand her. the more anniversaries, the better it is for women.

- there are too many. / - we feel sad if we have to celebrate two anniversaries on the same date. we ended up getting married on january 23rd. i memorized the date. you can't forget your wedding anniversary. - it's one, two, three. / - i said the same thing and my wife told me to memorize it as one, two, three, four. - why? / - "on january 23rd, buy"

"four gifts." it's one, two, three, four since she wants four gifts. - that's funny. / - did your wife really say that? why would anyone else say that to me? don't speak nonsense. - youngjin is doing quite well / - that's right. - on "gag concert." / - he tells old men's jokes. he is famous. - my goodness. / - this is nice.

who is that old man? (he looks like an old man) (and dresses like one!) (it's in his nature!) do you know what's bigger than a small fish? - what is bigger? / - a large fish. for goodness' sake. - what are you doing? / - beating a book. (beating a book!)

guess what this is? beating the back of a book. (beating the back of a book!) please tell us a few jokes. to do that, i have to get into the role. - all right. / - let me get into the role. you know, old men can also be on variety shows. old men don't have to watch news all day long. we can do well on a show like "happy together". don't be mistaken.

if being popular is a sin, then jaeseok is a sinful man. (jaeseok is a sinful man) it's an old joke. (was that a joke?) park myungsoo, shoot a cupid's arrow to me. it's myungsoo with a bow. (myungsoo with a bow!) are you an artist?

your outfit is a work of art. wow. (he is good) magician, buy me a drink. "buy me a drink." i will beat you! why are you scared? (why are you scared?) that is impressive!

he is good at telling wordplay. why is the atmosphere strange? is it because of yohwan? "strange" and "yohwan" sound similar in korean. (he breaks out of his role!) his jokes are great. he is witty. you must really like the jokes. you were smiling the entire time. - he is an old man. / - that's right.

wonjun, you returned from your honeymoon yesterday. did you have a good trip? - yes. thank you for asking. / - you look exhausted. there are dark circles under his eyes. are you okay? - are you feeling all right? / - yes. maybe, you need an injection. i am feeling great. "i am feeling great." his words lacked sincerity.

it doesn't seem like you are. - my goodness. / - his eyes look sleepy. you don't sound reassuring. all men have a fantasy about the honeymoon, but people tell me that couples fall asleep in exhaustion. they really do. the wedding ceremony is exhausting. - were you... / - perhaps, people lie because they don't want to talk about it.

- i am not lying. / - no, it's really exhausting. the wedding ceremony is exhausting. - it really is. / - how was your wedding night? tell us about it. i loved it. i was very happy. - my goodness. / - he didn't fall asleep. - my goodness. / - i was very happy. you don't seem happy. why do you keep saying you were happy?

of course, you were very happy. - i'm sure he loved the wedding night. / - right. - how was it? / - the entire honeymoon was amazing and dreamy. - it's true. / - did you memorize those lines? we traveled with a map and drove a rented car. - it was really nice. / - i see. we never fought. i was very happy.

you keep saying that without giving us details. he keeps repeating the same line. you sound like a broken record. we want to hear the answers with details. - please give us the whole story. / - please tell us. from the beginning to end, our honeymoon was like a movie. - this is frustrating. / - what kind of a movie? wonjun is ridiculous.

- it's like he is under orders / - he was instructed. - to not give anything away. / - like an interrogation. "how was the honeymoon?" "i was very happy." did you memorize these lines? give us the full story. i was very happy. - wait a minute. / - this is ridiculous. - wait a minute. / - what is that? (he has a wound on his leg)

- what is that? / - there is another one. his wife must have kicked him while wearing heels. i got these from "law of the jungle." - i was very happy. / - i have a question. how was your wedding night? - was there a bottle of wine? / - of course, there was. did you spread rose petals on the bed? no. i didn't since both of us don't drink a lot of alcohol,

- we stayed up chatting. / - then you made love. my goodness. that is an awkward thing to say. it's a cheesy expression. of course, they made love. what else would they make? i didn't mean to make him feel awkward. what happened when the night deepened? - the show started. / - "the show." ♪ show! there is no end to this show ♪ ♪ i will give you a show! ♪

♪ with a secretive heart ♪ - the lyrics tell us everything. / - you are right. "i will make love to you" "when everyone else has fallen asleep." - his happiness must be genuine. / - yes. he wrote a song for his wife. - he did? / - he did it on the plane. i carry around a tablet and my wife gives me requests. - it's like "music and lyrics." / - wow.

we enjoy working like that. (it's a song he composed) it reminds me of hawaii. it really does. - i can see the shrimp truck. / - that's right. it's the music you hear at the lobby of a hotel. it's the lounge music. (it sounds familiar) when is our tour guide coming?

(this kind of music plays at vacation spots) why does this juice cost 20 dollars? it was the tour guide who asked us to be here at 8 a.m. i can't believe he is running late. - for goodness' sake. / - i like the song. it's a nice song. out of curiosity, how long does this euphoria last? - my goodness. / - it's over now. - it's over now. / - wonjun is happy now

- and will continue to be happy. / - i'm just curious. will his euphoria end? saeho, there is no end to this show. - i want to be as happy as he is. / - i see. - happiness will come. / - wonjun, are you happy? yes, i am very happy. (he's a happy man who answers like an old computer) - my goodness, wonjun / - it sounds like he is acting. is the happiest man.

we will talk more about his happiness later. - welcome back. / - what? compared to wonjun, this man isn't smiling as much. - yohwan, are you happy? / - please be honest. i am not involved in preparation for the wedding. - gayeon is in charge. / - for this show... yes, she takes care of everything. she told me, "you can come empty-handed to my wedding."

- my goodness. / - she called it her wedding. the wedding is hers, not theirs. my goodness. it's a bit frightening. it's convenient for me. i am not good at anything other than my job. - i see. / - i saw a post online titled "the happiest man in the world." it had pictures of yohwan and gayeon. he doesn't need to eat out

because gayeon can make all kinds of dishes. gayeon is a good cook. she can make juice. they even have a menu at home. - it's like a restaurant. / - they have a menu at home. when she is coming up with new dishes, she uses me as a guinea pig. she makes me try new dishes. - a guinea pig? / - that's right. most korean dishes she makes

- are tasty. / - i bet. - there is a peculiarity. / - what is it? her first dish is always the tastiest. for some reason, when she tries it second time, it doesn't taste as good as the first time. when the dish isn't tasty, - do you tell her? / - it just tastes different. "the dish tasted better before." a good feedback is important.

there are many sides of gayeon's personality. - she is pretty. / - she is. - sometimes she can be irritating. / - i see. she sometimes hates losing in an argument. sometimes, she listens to me and acts cute. not for long, though. - it's too short, right? / - she is seldom like that. it must be sad to see it pass.

she acts cute as she pleases - regardless of how i feel about it. / - my goodness. it will be nice of her to act cute when i want her to. however, she acts cute - only when she wants to. / - i see. she acts cute until i say something. - how does she act cute? / - show us. - what does she do? / - show us.

- show us. / - "come on." (does she talk like lee deokhwa?) - "come on." / - what was that? his voice is gone because of the fine dust. it must be because of the fine dust. - yohwan's voice is gone. / - seriously. "buy a wig." i heard your father-in-law got angry the first time you met him.

yes, he did. he was against gayeon marrying me, so she and i went to his house without telling him in advance. we were afraid he would forbid us from coming. i found him at his house and went down on my knees. i told him that gayeon and i are in love and asked him for his blessing. older generations are not familiar with my job.

you are a professional gamer. yes, it was an unfamiliar job to him. - it's possible. / - is that why he didn't like you? he was protecting gayeon. (his father-in-law had to be cautious) since it was her second marriage, he had to be more cautious. - he was taking precautions. / - that's right. moreover, gayeon and i have a big age gap.

i am eight years younger than her. i think that's why he was so sure that this relationship wouldn't work. he told me that he doesn't know anything about my job, and it's not good for her future. he didn't think i would be competent, so i told him that i have a six-figure salary. then, he brought up the age gap. the conversation was going in circles.

- he was finding excuses. / - yes. - he got angry in the end. / - what did he say? "i am against this marriage." didn't your salary sway him? - not even a bit? / - i don't think - he believed me. / - i see. when i spoke confidently, he moved on to another subject. he was trying to find faults in me.

he was against gayeon marrying me. i stayed on my knees for an hour. how did you convince him? what happened in the end? i failed to convince him that day. did you get kicked out without having a welcome meal? yes, i had to leave. however, i had allies. mother-in-law and

my first daughter, seoryeong were on my side. i had met seoryeong for a couple of times. we had conversations over meals and watched movies. the three of us hung out together. i think the relationship i have with her helped a lot. since my father-in-law loves seoryeong very much, she could tell him good things about me. - he slowly changed his mind. / - he opened up to you. yes. i revisited her parents' house

on chuseok the next year. i had dinner and watched movies - with my father-in-law. / - you got to say hello. what did he say to you? he gave us our blessings. which movie did you watch with your father-in-law? (what was the first movie?) - i think it was a hollywood movie. / - "avatar"? - i don't remember exactly. / - a hollywood movie?

- a hollywood movie? / - his pronunciation was weird. since many movies are made in hollywood, it's an accurate description. you pronounced it in a way your father-in-law would. i think it was an action movie. how did your family react? what did they say? i bet they were against as well. - i know. / - it was easier for my family.

gayeon can talk really well. she really does. "gayeon can talk really well." were they against the marriage before she opened her mouth? yes. i have never seen her - lose a debate. / - i see. - really? / - she is undefeatable. my relatives fell in love

with gayeon even deeper than my parents. - really? / - yes. there wasn't much of an argument. what do they like about her? they loved how lovely she is. no one in my family knows how to act cute. gayeon knows how to act cute when she wants to.

she controlled the atmosphere with her cute acts. after bowing to my parents at chuseok, she ran up to them and said, "time to open your wallets!" - my goodness. / - that's cute. it was something my parents had never seen. no wonder they fell for her. it's kim miwha's line from "srirang couple." - happy new year. / - thank you.

♪ time to open your wallet! ♪ it's a custom to give money for a bow on new year's. gayeon is the same age as me. that's right. - she knows old shows. / - she grew up watching those funny shows. i can't believe she said, "time to open your wallet!" she ran up to my father - and did that. / - she said that to your father.

- she is lovely. / - this coming chuseok, everyone should use gayeon's trick to their parents-in-law. hyeongyeong, when you found a man you want to marry and go to his house to say hello to his parents, try this trick. - i will do that. / - bow first. there you go. your facial expression...

- why did you make thumbs-up signs? / - it's too... your facial expression didn't look sincere. it's always like that with you. don't do that to your mother-in-law. they will vehemently oppose to having her as a daughter-in-law. - they will oppose strongly. / - that's right. youngjin, did being a comedian work out in your favor with your wife's family?

my wife wanted to see what her family would think before telling them that the man she is seeing is a comedian. when i was on tv, she asked her sister, "what do you think of park youngjin?" "isn't he funny?" her sister said, "he looks like he can mistreat women." that was the image she had of me.

his jokes are harsh. there were jokes about women, too. "who would take care of the cows?" "women aren't capable." "you shouldn't ask for money like that." such were my jokes. - that's what you did in the past. / - that's right. men are the sky. i am representative park youngjin. women are like that.

women's tricks are obvious. they are ridiculous. who would take care of the cows? it was just a character i played. it's not who i am in real life. how did you win over your wife's sister? - when i went to see her, / - what did she say? she told me that she is a big fan. - really? that's unexpected. / - yes.

my wife told me afterwards that since she didn't know me well, she greeted me warmly since i became a part of the family. - i didn't meet any opposition. / - i see. of course being good to your wife is important, but being good to her family is very important. there's nothing better in gaining favor than that. what did you do?

did you give pocket money to her sister? - tell us what you did. / - yes. i heard he captured her grandmother's heart, too. of course. her grandmother is - the eldest in her family. / - she is the eldest. it's important to be good to her. they once had a family meeting and as i walked in, i looked around to find the oldest person in the room.

i tried to look nice in front of her most of the time. i don't talk much and i'm not that cute, either. since i'm much younger, i'm like a little baby to her. so, i went to her and danced to entertain her. then, she told everyone, "you're the best, youngjin." since then everyone liked me. how do you normally entertain her grandmother? first of all, i greet her well. "hello, grandmother."

- oh, my. / - hello. oh, my. i think you will attract bees. your skin is as soft as honey. is that how you dance in front of her? is this what you do for her to like you? - this is kind of weird. / - because everyone is so quiet. - it was too... / - they don't talk that much either. the dance looked weird.

yes. i was shocked. i didn't really like it. i guess it was a little too much. i did overdo it. - she was probably shocked. / - why don't we all learn from youngjin? saeho can play the grandmother. am i the grandmother? - that was uncalled for. / - yohwan, you can go first. do you remember how youngjin did?

hello, who were you again? grandmother, i'm yohwan. let me bow to you first. - all right. / - hello. - hello, grandmother. / - yes. i'm a pro game player. - you have a huge face. / - my hands are soft though. your hands are very soft, too. - he's the best, too. / - he is. - my goodness, yohwan. / - yes, grandmother.

say, "you're the best, yohwan." you're the best, yohwan. you're the best, too. i can't do this. i'm sorry. i give up. - i can't do this. / - you should continue. - come on. / - who's next? no, just do it. - it's hyunmoo's turn. / - hyunmoo.

- come on, hyunmoo. / - he's still single. - you have a house. / - it'll help you in the future. most grandmothers love me. - who? / - grandmothers and mothers love me. do they? - make it realistic. / - yes. (gosh!) (i don't even want to see him!) (walking away)

that was awesome. (dance of shame) he ran away. i think i've seen that happen. hyeongyeong, if you meet your mother-in-law in the future, how will you act cute? - let me try. / - try to show your adorable sides to her.

he's your mother-in-law. hello, mother. - who are you? / - i'm your daughter-in-law. - so, it's you. / - yes. why are you here? i'm here to say hello. my goodness. are you doing all right? "are you doing all right?"

- what are you doing? / - this is strange. hyeongyeong, what was that? why did you hold my hands like this? what was that about? why would you ask her if she was doing all right? she's dressed like a nurse, too. she's in a pink dress. - she's cute, though. / - she is. mothers would love her.

she looked at him in the eyes. yes. it's eungyeol's turn now. - it's your turn. / - for mothers, right? - they will love you. / - you should do it. - really? / - your wife's grandmother will. you'll be loved by your wife's grandmother. i'm dressed like a grim reaper. i don't think he should dress like this for the elderly relatives.

they'll be shocked. - it's your time to go. / - is it? you have to go. - that was rehearsed. / - you should improvise. let's pretend he's wearing something else. - we'll do that. / - sure. i heard my granddaughter's husband is coming today. oh, hello! hello. let me first bow...

- you look very healthy. / - he laughed at her. i was shocked to see how healthy you are. what is that? (his talent show begins!) he's doing a magic trick. wow, eungyeol. eungyeol is the best. that was good. that was really good.

- that was good. / - this thing - was crazy. / - doing magic is a good idea. i thought there were eight fingers. i think grandmothers will love that. it works like a charm to everyone. - what else do you have? / - he was the best. eungyeol did well. then, shall i show you more? yes, teach us something.

- something simple like this. / - well, finger tricks will work well for everyone who is under six. ouch. look at where his fingers go. - that's amazing. / - that's awesome. - i have a spoon magic trick. / - a spoon? i brought this to teach all of you. what he did with his fingers was amazing.

he tricked me really well. what are you doing? i can show you some tricks with your glasses, too. are these expensive? well, they are quite... i didn't break them. - are they okay? / - yes. that was amazing. - teach us something. / - okay.

all of our viewers can try, too. you also need a ring. and then put this ring through the spoon. i'll show you first. - it went in, right? / - yes. it can't go through the bottom part. why is that? it's obvious. - why do you even ask? / - no one can do that. - exactly. / - we aren't stupid.

that is very obvious. but this time, it'll go through the other side. how did you do that? - what have you done? / - let me show you again. - show us slowly. / - i'll do it slowly. show the audience that it can only go through the top. show that it can't go through the bottom. don't drop it. then, put it through the top part again.

(i still don't get it) i will teach you how to do it. i saw the trick from behind. i told you to be quiet. he leaned back to watch my trick. i saw how saeho kept on leaning back. (peeking) - don't do that. / - i'm sorry. - my goodness. / - i was going to tell you.

teach us. you need to use your pinky. - put your pinky here. / - i see. everyone, follow my lead. put your pinky there. then your pinky and ring finger can cross each other. you can hold that tightly. wait, he can't do it. grandma, are you okay? this grandma has no strength. give him a second.

then put the ring there. - i did. / - and show it to your audience. you can shake it around. after that, take it out again. that's easy, right? - yes, it's easy. / - but this time, we'll do this. release it and catch it very quickly. i'll show you again. the ring goes down like this. - did you get it? / - yes. but people can see that it's going down.

that's why you should take the other hand to cover it up. and pretend to take out the ring. the ring already went down. some people can get confused with the process. it's very confusing because you can't pick it up. some people do this. the ring already went through. - it's already done. / - you gave it away.

that is magic. - how do we end this? / - now, hold the spoon with your thumb and index finger. then, bring it up from the bottom. (hold the spoon with two fingers) (and bring down the ring) this is how it's done. - he's really good. / - we should practice a lot. this is all about practicing.

- do you want to try? / - yes. - it can go in like this. / - yes. - and here, it can't. / - yes. (that was too obvious) - your ring is gone. / - hyunmoo should try. - look, here's a ring. / - yes. it can go in through the top but not through the bottom. - you're right. / - do you see that?

all right. - come on, don't do that. / - that's an old trick. - that trick is old. / - that is really old. i will put the ring now. (swinging his hand around) he seems like a con artist. (failed) you shouldn't do it like hyunmoo. it's important to distract the audience from this part.

- i see. / - people will be able to tell. - how was his nose trick? / - that was the worst. what was that? - this thing. / - why did you do that? - you have to practice. / - we should. yohwan, all of your wife's friends are older than you, right? what's it like to hang out with them? gayeon is eight years older than me,

and her friends are about her age, too. she looks like she's about my age. - but her friends don't. / - that can happen. how do they look? - well... / - what was this? "how do they look?" do they also have strong personalities like gayeon? they do. they can make their men listen. - they're like that. / - it's a club, then.

they are probably very strong. they can lead people easily. - like a leader. / - well, gayeon is like that, too. do you feel the age gap? - she's eight years older than you. / - no. i have never felt that with gayeon. do you sometimes realize that she is older than you? - not at all. / - not at all? that's why we're perfect.

we played online games together and we had no problem. youngjin must have been popular among comedians. i heard other comedians were sad when you were getting married. park sungkwang and oh nami cried. - did nami cry? / - why did she cry? - she cries all the time, actually. / - she does. - she cries quite often. / - i'm like that, too. if i see someone cry, i cry too.

she cries if i tell her to cry. she cries quite often. - did park jisun cry as well? / - yes, she did. - didn't she like you? / - who, me? - not at all. / - no? i'm like an older brother to her. when i told her i'm getting married, she didn't believe me at first. then she shed tears in happiness. your wife may misunderstand.

many of your female colleagues cried at your wedding. don't you think your wife may misunderstand? i don't think so because jisun and nami were the ones who cried. (he has nothing to worry about) did they give you wedding presents? when jisun heard that i was getting married, she volunteered to be the flower girl at my wedding. (a runway of comediennes at the wedding hall)

- they look like mothers. / - are they playing puppets? i don't know where they found the outfit, but they had it. isn't that what younggu wears? - they had the outfit. / - gosh. i heard you had a sad incident during your wedding photo shoot. during my wedding photo shoot? all of my colleagues

who started working at kbs in the same year usually come to congratulate and take a photo together. i sent a message on our group chat before my wedding. i wrote, "dear colleagues, i'm getting married soon." "please come to our photo shoot." then people sent me replies such as "i'm sorry," "i'm busy," and "i have a business trip." i kept getting replies like those.

i was a little disappointed by that, so i cancelled the photo shoot right away. - you didn't take it? / - no. i told everyone that i'm cancelling it. instead, i called some of the colleagues i'm close to and took pictures together. however, i was disappointed by the other colleagues. i was still part of the group chat, but i didn't say anything

- because i was disappointed. / - you were upset. - i temporarily retired. / - right. it'd be obvious if i left the chat room. after some time, i had my wedding. park won and kan miyoun came to sing at my wedding. i was getting ready to walk the aisle, but suddenly kim joonhyun stood up and asked if he could sing to congratulate me. my immediate reaction was, "don't do it."

i was very close to saying, "no, i don't want you to." you must have been very upset. since joonhyun is famous, people in the audience wanted him to sing. - we have a clip from his wedding. / - really? (the husband is feeling bitter) (kim joonhyun and kim taewon sing to congratulate them) - they're good at singing. / - they're like tenors. (they're engrossed in their singing)

they're amazing tenors. let's have all of his colleagues sing together. - was it a set up? / - they prepared something. (the lights are turned on) - that's so moving. / - it's awesome. they didn't come to the photo shoot. (the colleagues appear on stage) there are so many of them. (the colleagues who didn't show up)

(at the wedding photo shoot) (prepared a big surprise performance) all of them came this time. (jang doyeon cries) why is jang doyeon crying? (a surprise performance) (with love from his colleagues) we wholeheartedly congratulate youngjin on his wedding. we'll shout all together.

in three, two, one. youngjin, congratulations on your wedding! (congratulations on your wedding) congratulations, youngjin. - the bride is also... / - she is beautiful. that was moving. - you had no idea about it? / - not at all. - didn't you shed tears? / - i got somewhat emotional. my wife cried a lot then.

whose idea was it? they made a chatroom - without me. / - they talked amongst themselves. they made a separate chatroom and prepared for months. didn't you feel bad for being disappointed in them? i was too petty. i should have waited until the wedding ended. - right. / - you quickly judged them. you thought you were too petty.

yes, it's very obvious. - you'll remember it for long. / - i know. - this looks great. / - many colleagues helped me. eungyeol, i heard you chose a wedding hall to plan the wedding yourself. i didn't want to have the same wedding like everyone. i chose the music and decided what i wanted. (he enters with a torch) - are you moving in a slow motion? / - yes.

he's doing it himself? it's like from the movie "chariots of fire." he's moving in a slow motion. most grooms don't do things like that for their bride. he's performing. - he's doing magic in slow motion. / - it's not magic. that was to entertain the audience. my friends spent all night to make a pigeon - really? / - that can flap slowly.

we also made the pigeon move in a slow motion. my friends made everything. (he had a one-of-a-kind, fun wedding) (impressed) at most weddings, the bride receives the spotlight. they should stand out. however, if the groom does everything in the beginning...

it was still impressive. i heard youngjin realized something while preparing for the wedding. what did you realize? women usually do a lot to prepare for the wedding. - right. / - men shouldn't engage in it. all they have to do is take care of their girlfriends. your girlfriend may want you to come see her wedding dress.

however, all the dresses are white and no other color. the only difference is the shape of the straps and if there are veils or not. they look all the same, but for women, every dress is unique. any difference is significant. they try on about five different dresses. when they ask which one looks better, you shouldn't think too hard.

don't think about which one actually looks better. tell her the fourth one is nice. she'd ask, "isn't the second one better?" "the second one is better." that's all you have to say. they just want an affirmation. they already know which one looks better. - they want your reaction. / - but, you still have to participate

so that it feels like you helped out. i couldn't remember from the third dress. - you can't. / - they're all white. she asks, "how was the first one?" if i respond, "i think the first dress was the best," then she ends up wearing the first dress to the wedding. what if she asks, "do you remember what the first one looked like?"

i said, "didn't you already try that on?" then the salesperson went, "you're very observant." it was actually my first time seeing the dress. (he liked the dress though it was first time seeing it) when i said i liked it last time, she said i'm observant. i can't tell the difference. they're all like a white cloth. white cloth?

i have fantasies about wedding proposals. wonjun, how did you propose to your wife? my wife always wanted something small and private, so i prepared something in our room. - that looks cute. / - you definitely need candles. i gave her a pair of earrings that i've wanted to give her when we get married. then i gave her my passbook. - wow. / - of course.

- did you have a lot in balance? / - hyeongyeong. i was disappointed at first with just the candles. - really? / - it's because - it looked too simple. / - "it looked too simple"? after hearing about the passbook, i can now understand. oh, my goodness. is there a wedding proposal you hope for? i saw my friend getting proposed. - what was it like? / - he showed a clip of

all the things they did together. what about something like this? a man with a helmet on appears and says, "which one of you is uhm hyeongyeong?" - that's the worst. / - i don't like it at all. - you don't? / - "everyone," "we're getting married. please congratulate us." "everyone, we're getting married." "please congratulate us."

i dislike that the most. suddenly, someone stands up and sing. ♪ you're right ♪ ♪ here is my girlfriend ♪ - this is terrible. / - you can hire someone. is this terrible? - that's women's worst nightmare. / - is it? it was popular back in the day. a man would shout in a plaza, "hyeongyeong is mine!"

(please let me go) a group of 20 men appear in front of her house. and they walk in a line. bride-to-be, bride-to-be. (it's a proposal only possible in dreams) - i absolutely don't want it. / - you don't? - no. / - why not? - i just don't like it. / - why are you laughing? she says it's the worst,

but i have no idea about wedding proposals. gayeon may do things like that for you. i bet gayeon would do it for you. when gayeon asks for a favor that's not related to games, i worry about it until i do it for her. she knows that i'd worry too much if she asks me for a favor, so she told me exactly how to propose to her.

- i see. / - she asked me to dedicate her a pair of wedding shoes in a glass dome. (glass dome wedding shoes) she demanded me to do that for her. was that an order? it was because i was too worried and didn't know what to do. - i was struggling. / - dedicate? i'm sure she was joking.

- she wasn't joking. / - really? no. she really told me to do that. (i'm being very serious) if i do what she asked, she said she'll accept the proposal. - in a way, / - it sounds like a mission. - it's very specific. / - in a way, it is. are you going to order a glass dome?

i already bought a pair of shoes. do you have them already? the shoes will be delivered by the time - i'm at a competition. / - are you a wedding planner? it doesn't sound like it's his own wedding. are you a wedding planner? the shoes will arrive a week after the order, so all i have to do is give them to her. - we now have haryeong, / - of course.

and i get along with gayeon very well. she takes care of everything i need, so when i get old, my life will be good. - what is it? / - who's here at this hour? - another guest? / - no way. (two women have arrived) (at "happy together" show?) (who would they be?) we're not expecting anyone.

- no way. / - oh, my goodness. - who is it? / - wow! (kim gayeon) she surprised me. - goodness. / - hello. - hold on. / - goodness. - isn't that your daughter? / - they look alike. - she's my oldest daughter. / - oh, my. wait a second.

- i've never met your daughter. / - really? hello, i have multiple personalities. i'm kind-hearted, kim gayeon. why are you establishing yourself like that? don't mess with me today. - you never age. / - what's with that comment? just answer my calls! calm yourself down. what was that all of a sudden?

- she's like a thug. / - did something happen? your daughter looks more like a sister. - they look like sisters. / - yes. when the three of us go to a restaurant, they ask seoryeong if she's the younger sister. they tell me i look just like her. they say they look alike. even their voices are similar.

then i say, "hi, sister-in-law." - people would believe that. / - exactly. when did you get here? i've been here for a while. - did you know? / - i didn't. i was having fun talking about her. your posture has changed. i'm sitting upright. - honey, was it tough? / - no, it wasn't.

- what's wrong? / - did you hear us talk? yes. i heard everyone talking behind my back. - i heard it all. / - but, i was about to say good things about gayeon. but then she walked in. the reason i chose gayeon is because my old age will be secured. that's what i thought. your old age?

is she your insurance policy? - what are you saying? / - what i meant is... it's absolutely guaranteed. call 1588-gayeon. is she your insurance policy or something? i'm going to protect my husband. i think gayeon will really protect her husband. did you really choose the wedding date based on jaeseok's schedule? it's true.

i texted him last october that i was getting married. i asked when he was available. he said not to go by his schedule. why choose a date based on the host's schedule? why go by the host's schedule? that's how jaeseok is for you. "i feel like the marriage will last" "if you host my wedding." that's what i replied.

what if he can't host this year? i won't marry then. - i don't understand. / - seriously. just do it. you have no choice. it's may 8th, right? but myungsoo, why didn't you answer my calls? you read my messages but you didn't answer. i'm really upset right now. will you come to my wedding?

it's on parents' day, right? - yes. / - shouldn't i see my parents? shouldn't i see my parents? - it's at three o'clock. / - visit them afterwards. my wedding only comes once. it's at three o'clock. - are you coming or not? / - i'll try to go. thank you. (she's back to the kind gayeon) - yes. / - right.

- i wanted to say something. / - what is it? - i asked you if you're coming. / - yes. - there's a reason for that. / - what is it? - everyone knows you're the host. / - yes. now everyone wants to come to see jaeseok. they just want to see jaeseok. people that i don't even know want to come and see you. so people who are actually invited might need to stand in the back.

i couldn't have that. we designated seats for all 380 guests. so not just anyone can sit. only invited guests can have a seat. - how strict. / - yes. - so... / - did you know about this? i heard about the designated seating. but i didn't know she designated seats for everyone. why don't you know anything?

it's like an award show or something. is there a penalty for not showing up? it'll be a live broadcast. (live wedding produced by kim gayeon) i've known gayeon for 25 years. but actually, i'm scared of her. - is she scarier than kang hodong? / - yes, she is. at least i can communicate with hodong. it's completely one-sided with her.

"come, come to my wedding!" "why don't you answer my calls?" i'm scared of her. - i heard you had a crush on her. / - yes, that's true. - be honest. / - you had a crush? (the truth comes out two weeks before the wedding) - i've had lots of crushes. / - it can happen. - i wouldn't say i had a crush. / - right. actually, she auditioned to be a comedienne.

the beautiful, kim gayeon is 22 years old this year. (she started her career a year after myungsoo) she was a comedienne. she was pretty for a comedienne. - yes. / - i admired her from a distance. i never had a crush. did you know that myungsoo liked you? i remember mbc used to have kimbap restaurant

- on the second floor. / - there was. they used to sell kimbap, a beverage - and sausages as a combo. / - right. myungsoo always bought me that. he liked you. i can never forget that. i said i didn't have a crush on her. why do you keep saying that? why did you pay for her then?

she was very cute and she was my colleague. i bought her some while i ate. - really? / - buying a meal doesn't mean - that i had a crush. / - there was also an atm - on the second floor. / - yes, there was. he used to brag about his salary. you tried to appeal to her. why did you tell her that? so she could check if she got paid, too!

why does that mean i had a crush on her? does that mean that i liked her? it makes sense. i don't think you remember, jaeseok. my friends... (gayeon's friends) - you met them. / - when? i set you up on a blind date in 2000. what? wow.

- who? / - you met them in apgujeong at a chinese restaurant. my friend cancelled the date 30 minutes before the meeting. - goodness. / - really? - my friend cancelled. / - she must regret it now. - she really regrets it. / - i bet. so i called my other friends. "we have to make sure that we cheer him up."

i told them to come and all of them did. so you sat in the middle while six women chatted. do you remember? i don't. don't lie. you remember, right? - i'm sure he does because... / - come on. gosh. i remember now. it was fun but i had a really tough time. right.

i told you it was fine and there was no need. i said i could meet her next time. - i said, no. / - but gayeon felt bad and insisted on calling all her friends. there was this friend called hyohyeon. among our group, she's second when it comes to looks. because i'm the first. - the rest must be awful then. / - awful? - i'm sorry. / - he's courageous.

i'm sorry. please forgive me. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. - i'm sorry. / - i shouldn't just let it go. - anyway, when i / - i'm sorry. introduced that friend to jaeseok, she said, "hello, i'm second." he thought her name was second. - second? / - while we were talking, he called her second.

so he found out it's not her name. i think i remember. - right? / - it was 16 years ago, but it was such a burden. all i wanted to do was leave. - i remember that name. / - that friend is now married to coach yoon junghwan. i see. second... another friend from that group

married coach seo jungwon. - she's his wife now. / - wow. another one is the wife of the tennis player, lee hyungtaek. you're the wife of a professional gamer. - are they all hot-tempered? / - no, they're not. all wives become that way while supporting their husbands. if wives feel like they want to be protected

by their husbands, they can always play that role. "i'm scared, honey. hit him for me." they can always do that. (they're taken aback by gayeon's portrayal) - what's with you suddenly? / - wait. eungyeol and wonjun are both stunned. yohwan said earlier that you have - five different personalities. / - yes.

i'm the fifth woman today. she doesn't come out often. the one who acts cute? no, i'm kind-hearted. (kind-hearted gayeon) are you kind-hearted right now? i heard you ask your mother-in-law for money as gifts. - how can you do that? / - let me tell you this. i saw my husband being very cute earlier.

- that's not the right way. / - then? - you have to appeal to elders. / - how? pretend he is your father-in-law. this is bothersome. after bowing, i approach like this. then i say, "father, time to open your wallet!" like that. - that's how you do it. / - i'm sorry but your daughter and husband seem very intimidated.

they do. i think they're avoiding you. you're sitting closer to youngjin. honey, come here. (come here before i get mad) everyone else is intimidated, too. - i feel like an audience member. / - right. it's as if i'm in the military. since your mom is so

- authoritative... / - authoritative... what do you mean? sorry, honey. - take it easy. / - sorry, honey. - she's not like you though. / - you're right. - she doesn't take after gayeon. / - the two of us - are so different. / - she seems more like yohwan. i became this way because of my husband. my husband doesn't know how to say, "no".

- so? / - so i get tough. "no. forget it! ask me first." "you must go on happy together." when i told him to go on the show, he asked why. i said, "be quiet." - and you locked him up. / - yes. - then you locked the door? / - yes. why did you tell him to be on "happy together" all of a sudden?

- it was all part of my plan. / - what is it? i really wanted to receive a proposal. - here? / - yes. this is what he was referring to earlier. - is this it? / - on the shoe, it says, "use these if you want to kick something." - what is that? / - "kick something?" he came up with that after two weeks of pondering. now all you have to do is propose.

right, there are two weeks left. two weeks? (the wedding is two weeks away) (the professional gamer and) (the supportive wife meet) my father-in-law didn't support our relationship. afterwards, he got angry and forbade our marriage. it's like you're being dragged by gayeon. i'll get in trouble if i disobey.

(but as time passed,) (their feelings didn't change) (they decided to make it official) (yohwan's proposal to gayeon) - i'll do this for you. / - my goodness. - honey. / - yes? will you marry me? i'll take the flowers. will you propose with the shoes? - okay. / - with the shoes.

(oh, right, the wedding shoes) - don't break it. / - take the cover off. - honey, take the cover off. / - yes. is he an avatar? pardon? gosh. why didn't you practice? honey, marry me. - he really wants to marry her. / - wow. (although he's nervous,)

(he loves gayeon more than anything) i'm nervous. - where's the other shoe? / - this is my answer. prince, here's the other shoe. this is so funny. wow! they're pretty. congratulations! - we wish you happiness! / - we're getting married!

- congratulations. / - we'll be happy! (kiss me!) (kissing) (congratulations on your marriage) since we focused on one guest, we didn't get to hear from the others. it's like they're our only guests. it's been the kim gayeon show instead of "happy together".

- it was a proposal show. / - we hear that you were touched by your wife, eungyeol. why are you asking me that suddenly? please tell us. what can i say in this atmosphere? - tell us. / - but why does it have to be me? - please tell us. / - but why does it have to be me? - there are others here! / - everyone needs to speak. - go ahead. / - come on.

- pull out a pigeon or something! / - well... we needed to change the topic. our eyes met coincidentally! - make something up! / - just tell us. i'm happy as long as i can escape from gayeon. we had eye contact! - hurry up. / - i suddenly feel dizzy. well... you know... i don't want to be disturbed

while doing something i like. but my wife completely understands that. she leaves me alone when i need to think about things. it's important that i have that freedom. - she trusts you. / - but i really agreed with what eungyeol said. i was envious of how his wife gives him time for himself. - you're being brave today. / - yes.

are you finally speaking? since you're with others, you became braver. i think it's very necessary. after i gave up gaming and turned to poker, i needed time to study the game. it requires continuous study. if she bursts in and tells me to be on "happy together" all of a sudden, i end up thinking about that instead of studying.

my focus shifts. he's a professional gambler now. no, gambler isn't right. - what is it then? / - professional poker player. gamblers have less than 50 percent chance of winning. they're people who bet. poker player is an unfamiliar term. it's not the best image, right? - i agree. / - it's associated with gambling.

there are many who think it's gambling. it's part of the culture in the us and europe. - it's a sport. / - the chips used to play have no actual cash value. you have to remain playing until the very end. - i see. / - yes. the wsop in las vegas is the most famous tournament. the prize is eight to ten million dollars. - what? / - in one game?

- yes. / - it's the main event. i have to learn. you need the ability to trick the other players. - when you sit next to players, / - it sounds scary. you look at their eyes. let's say you bet during the game. you look at the players when you bet and bluff. you have to read their eyes. people wear sunglasses to hide their eyes.

- poker face. / - they also wear hats and hoodies. they don't want to give anything away. that's where the term "poker face" came from. myungsoo has a great advantage. his face doesn't change. he always has the same expression. no matter what hand he has... - he wants time alone. / - right. you finally spoke up for yourself.

before we had a child, gayeon was 100 percent focused on me. now the baby has 80 percent of the focus while i have 20. - i have 10 percent. / - right, it's divided now. she has 10 percent. i'm getting more time alone like eungyeol. is this your daughter? haryeong?

she's cute. - how cute. / - she's so cute. she looks like you, yohwan. - she looks just like her dad. / - yes. eungyeol performed at the national theater of korea. - national theatre of korea? / - you performed there? isn't that unusual? i was nervous because it was the first time in 20 years.

- i'm looking forward to it. / - can i borrow a bag? get him a bag. - give me a bag. / - let's see what eungyeol can do. well, it's miming. - he's already doing great. / - like this. this is it. - he's like charlie chaplin. / - this is it. - wow! / - look at that. - wow, look at that! / - wow!

it's like this. then do this. then, hold on. he's opening it? there's kimbap in here. why is there kimbap in the bag? can you lend me a belt? a belt? - do you have a belt? / - i do.

it's just a belt. - it's not mine. / - right, it's mine. - is he going to cut it? / - will he hit someone? miming is all about the imagination. (the world of imagination) imagine it's a snake. i borrowed this as well. no way. - there's no way. / - no way.

this kind of thing is commonly done in india. - no way. / - no way. - this can't be. / - i'm leaving. there's no way. that's really my belt. this is the scriptwriter's bag. a snake is supposed to come out - when you play a flute. / - a cobra. - it won't be a real snake. / - really?

- are you sure? / - yes. just a moment. i have to blow harder. (his second attempt) i'm sorry. - it should make a sound. / - he's doing it on purpose. - he's acting. / - no. i'm not acting. watch carefully. (he's trying his best on the third attempt)

- should it make a sound? / - really? (she lets her guard down) - how long will this go on? / - well... i'm afraid something will come out. - this isn't working. help me out. / - okay. - can i help? / - can you blow hard? - will i swallow something? / - no, no. blow hard. just a moment. - what's going on? / - i'm scared.

that's just my belt. - should i blow now? / - now blow hard. (he successfully tricks saeho) - that was so funny! / - that's funny. (everyone's amused) i didn't see that coming. i'm always grateful to my wife. i might not be the best husband. but i'll do my best to support her.

as time goes by, i feel like i owe a lot to the people around me. to my parents and my wife, thank you for always supporting and believing in me. thank you for marrying me, honey. even though we're married, let's always live like we're dating. thank you. i love you. - yohwan? / - i'm ready.

it's yohwan's turn. even though it was only the two of us when we first met and... she's right next to you. - it's a video letter, right? / - yes. but now we have seoryeong and haryeong. we're a family now and we're about to get married. let's live happily with our oldest daughter, seoryeong and our youngest, haryeong.

thank you for watching "happy together". see you next week. - thank you! / - thank you! (see you next week) ("on the four lane road" by louie, feat. yuk seongjae)

Friday, December 30, 2016

puppets goldilocks and the three bears

[music playing] - once upon a time in a kingdom by the sea. there lived a little princess named lenore one day lenore fell ill and took to her bed. the royal physician came to see her. took her temperature, felt her pulse, and made her stick out her tongue. the royal physician was worried. he sentfor the king, lenore's father, and the king came to see her. - oh...daddy....oh - my little girl, my poor little princess!

- i'm sick - well royal physician, what is the ailment? - your majesty it grieves me to report that the princess's miserably ill from a serving of raspberry tarts. there is little that can help her. good day. - darling, i would give you anything your heart desires. if only it would make you well again. is there anything that your heart desires? - yes daddy! i want the moon. if i can have the moon, i will be well again.

[music starts to play] - there are so many songs about so many moons rivers and dreamers and lovers and junes mystical lyrics and magical tunes yet none of them written by me for below me tonight, there's a beautiful sight a curious child and oh how she listens the moon has a song for you if you looked down from heaven you'd see what i see

princess - oh my father is the sweetest of kings diamonds, and stardust, and white fairy wings. mystical treasures and magical things. yet none of them was thought of by me for above me tonight, there's a beautiful sight. that is out of my heart and oh how it glistens please get the moon for me

if you looked out my window you'd see what i see please get the moon for me daddy please get the moon for me - now the king had a great many wise men who always got for him anything he wanted, so he told his daughter that she couldhave the moon. then he went to the throne room and pulled a bell cord, three long pulls and a short pull,

[bell rings] and presently the lord high chamberlaincame into the room. the lord high chamberlain was a largeman who wore thick glasses which made hiseyes seem twice as big as they really were. this made the lord highchamberlain seem twice as wise as he really was. - yes your majesty? - i want you to get the moon. the princess lenore wants the moon. if she can have the moon, she will be well again. - the.....the.....moon?

- yes, the moon. moon moon get it tonight tomorrow at the latest. - i have got a great many things for youin my time your majesty. it just happens that i have with me alist of the things i have got for you in my time. ah let me see now.. i've got ivory, apes, also peacocks for you, rubies, and opales and emerald jewels black orchids, pink elephants, blue poodles of few gold bugs, scarabs...- i...i don't remember any blue poodles. - it says blue poodles right here on thelist, and they are checked off with a littlecheck mark,

so there must have been blue poodles. you just forget. - never mind the bluepoodles what i want now is the moon. - oh of course your majesty. as i was saying, gold bugs, scarabs, flies and amerlite glue hummingbirds, beetles, feathers at dawn. boxes and boxes of unicorns horns. giants and midgets and mermaids galore. frankincense, auberge troubadours, dancers, and mystics of europe a pound of butter, two dozen eggs, and a sack of sug... oh....wait, no wait.

forgive me, my wife wrote that in there. - why that was the only part that made sense. - i have sent as far as summercaned and arabe and zanzabar to get things for you your majesty. but the moon is out of the question. - out of the question?! why? - it is thirty five thousand miles away and it is bigger than the room the princess lies in. furthermore, it is made of molten copper. i cannot get the moon for you. blue poodles, yes. the moon, no.

- then what is the good of keeping you here in my palace? you are a bunderbust! and a numb skull! lord high chamberlain indeed. leave the room! out of my sight! oh and send the royal wizard to the throne room. goodness, gracious, mercy sakes. if i weren't king, nothing would be accomplished in this kingdom. all i wanted was the moon. - the royal wizard was a little, thin, man with a long face. he wore a high peaked hat covered with silver stars and a long blue robe covered with golden owls.

his face grew very pale when the king told him that he wanted the moon for his little daughter and that he expected the royal wizard toget it. - you called for me your majesty? - oh yes, yes. i want you to get the moon. the princess lenore is ill. if she can have the moon, she will getwell again. - the moon? - yes, the moon. i expect you to get it forme without fail tonight. - i have worked a great deal of magic for you in my time your majesty. as a matter fact, i i just happened to have in my pocketlist of the wizardry i have performed for you.

it begins, dear royal wizard, i am returning to you herewith this so called philosopher stone which you claimed..oh, but wait... no, no that isn't it. here it is, i've squeezed blood out of turnips and much more for you. turnips from blood and some other tricks too. i've conjured up flowers and doves from thin air. and nowhere from flowers and doves to nowhere. divining rods, magic wands, crystals. builders and unguents and potions.

to cure heartbreak and suffering and ringing of ears. wolfbang and night shade and bald eagle's tears to ward off all witches and demons and fears. an invisible cloak to make youdisappear and seven league boots and a gold midus touch. - it didn't work. the cloak of invisibility didn't work. - yes it did. - no it didn't. i kept bumping into thingsthe same as ever. - the cloak is supposed to make youinvisible. it is not supposed to keep you from bumping into things. - all i know is i kept bumping into things. - yes, well as i was saying,

i have captured a pair of rare horns from the elf-land and greatest of all was the sand from the sandman sharp needles and thread and a lump of beeswax ... oh, so sorry. my mistake. aha, those are things my wife wrote down for me to get for her. - what i want you to do now is to get me the moon. the princess lenore wants the moon and when she gets it, she will be well again. - nobody can get the moon. it is 150,000 miles away and it's made of green cheese, and it is twice as big as this palace.

- then leave the throne room. you 're a wheedling old wizard and not worth a whale bone. don't stand there staring at me! scoot! go on, scoot! what's the matter with this kingdom? nobody is willing to do a thing. you would think i had asked for the whole world instead of just a measly old moon! perhaps the royal mathematician will have a sensible solution. - the king rang a gong and summoned the royal mathematician. the royal mathematician was abald-headed, nearsighted man, who wore a black suit with white numbers on it. - yes, your majesty.

- now, i don't want to hear a long list of all the things you have figured out for me since 1907. i want you to figure out right now how to get the moon for the princess lenore. when she gets the moon she would be wellagain - i am glad you mentioned all these thingsi have figured out for you since 1907 it so happens that i have a list themwith me i have figured the distance from a and to z the horns of dilemma were measured by me the miles between night and the end of a day how far up is up and the length of away

just where is gone and the price of today how long a sea serpent and if so, then where? the size of a hippo, then what is it's square at sixes and sevens and how far they are? how much is is is to make one complete are how many birds caught in the ocean of salt if 187 million, 746 thousand, 132 birds but not one is my fault - there aren't that many birds.

- i didn't say there were. i said if there were. - i don't want to hear about seven hundred million imaginary birds. i want you to get the moon for the princess lenore. - the moon is 300,000 miles away. it is round and flat like a coin, only it is made of asbestos, and it is half the size of this kingdom. furthermore, it is pasted on thesky. nobody can get the moon. - then get out of the throne room. get out! get out! get out!

no king ever had to put up with such confoundedly dim-witted wise men. how absolutely devastating! what am i going to do? hmm ... let's see now .. oh, perhaps the court jester will have an idea. [bell rings] - then he rang for the court jester. the jester came into the throne roomin his motley and his cap and bells, and sat at the foot of the throne. [lute playing]

- what can i do for you, your majesty? - nobody can do anything for me. the princess lenore wants the moon and she cannot be well till she gets it, but nobody can get it for her. every time i ask anybody for the moon, it gets larger and farther away. there is nothing you can do for me exceptplay on your lute ... something sad. - how big do they say the moon is, and how far away? - the lord high chamberlain says it is 35,000 miles away and bigger than the princess lenore's room. the royal wizard says it is 150,000 miles away and twice as big as this palace. the royal mathematician says it is 300,000 miles away and half the size of this kingdom.

- they are all wise men, so they must all be right. if they are all right, then the moon must be just as large and as far away as each person thinks it is. the thing to do is find out how big the princess lenore thinks it is, and how far away. - i never thought of that. - i will go and ask her, your majesty, if you wish. - yes! yes! please do talk to the princess! - hello! i'm awake. and i'm glad to see you, court jester. have you brought the moon to me? - not yet, but i will get it for you right away. tell me, princess, how big do you think it is?

- oh, it is just a little smaller than my thumbnail, for when i hold my thumbnail up at the moon, it just covers it. - and how far away is it, princess? - it is not as high as the big tree outside my window, for it sometimes it gets caught in the top branches. - yes, princess! it will be very easy to get the moon for you. - i will climb the tree tonight when it gets caught in the top branches, and bring it to you. and, by the way, princess, what is the moon made of? - oh! it's made of gold, of course, silly! - hahaha...yes, i should have known.

now close your pretty eyes and try to sleep while i strum a tune on my lute. (lute playing) your majesty, i had the royal goldsmith make a tiny round golden moon, just a little smaller than the thumbnail of princess lenore. and he strung it on a golden chain so the princess could wear it around her neck. - excellent, my good man! excellent! come, let me see it. - i have already given it to the princess early this morning and she was overjoyed!

come, look out the window and see her at play in the gardens below. - one, two, three, o'leary, leary, leary. four, five, six, o'leary, leary, leary ... - wonderful! simply wonderful! the princess is well again and my heart islight. oh come, good jester, play a happy tune on your lute. no! wait, jester! wait! my worries are not yet over. oh dear, dear, dear, dear, dear! the moon will shine in the sky again tonight and the princess lenore will see it . when she does, she will know that the moon on the chain around her neck is not the real moon.

quickly, jester, call the wise men. summon the lord high chamberlain. have him report immediately to the throne room. i should have known this was too easy. how foolish to think that a mere jester could solve so weighty a problem. ah! the lord high chamberlain! we must keep the princess lenore from seeing the moon when it shines in the sky tonight. think of something! - oh yes, your majesty. i know just the thing! we can make some dark glasses for the princess lenore.

we can make them so dark that she willnot be able to see anything at all through them. then she will not be able to see the moonwhen it shines in the sky. - no, no, no! if she wore dark glasses, she would bump into things, and then she would be ill again. have you no better idea? - i . .. i could give the matter considerable thought and, and then report back to you. but no ... no, i have nothing else to suggest at the moment. - oaf! a fine help you are. don't bother! just hurry and summon the royal wizard to my aid.

- yes, your majesty. indeed, your majesty. right away. - what this kingdom needs is fresh blood in the intelligence department. i'll post a notice tomorrow announcing try-outs for new wise men. where is that wizard?! - the lord high chamberlain claimed you desired my services. what can i do for you, your majesty? - we must hide the moon so that the princess lenore will not see it when it shines in the sky tonight. how are we going to do that? - um-er-well-ah - - -ah, let's see - - - um-m-m - - - tsk!

i know what we can do! we can stretch some black velvet curtains on poles. the curtains will cover all the palace gardens like a circus tent, and the princess lenore will, will, will not be able to see through them, so she will not see the moon in the sky. - no, no, no! black velvet curtains would keep out the air. the princess lenore would not be able to breathe, and she would be ill again. your idea is no good good at all. please, leave the throne room immediately!

get out of my sight! and, and-ah, summon the royal mathematician to my aid. - yes, your majesty. yes, your majesty. yes, yet, yes, yes your majesty. - fine state of affairs. i've asked the lord high chamberlain, i've listened to the royal wizard; and now my last hope is the royal mathematician. the life of a king is a life of trial, indeed. - you called for me, your majesty? - yes! yes! we must do something so that the princess lenore will not see the moon when it shines in the sky tonight. if you know so much, figure out a way to do that.

- mercy! um-m . .. um-m . .. yes, your majesty, i think i might help youthis time. um-m, let me try walking in a circle to see if i can round out an idea. well that didn't work out very successfully. perhaps walking in a square will clear mythoughts. i have it! we can set off fireworks in the gardens every night. we will make a lot of silver fountains and golden cascades, and when they go off, they will fill the sky with so many sparks that it will be as light as day

and the princess lenore will not be able to see the moon. - no! no, no, no, no, no! what a perfectly ridiculous idea. fireworks would keep the princess lenore awake. she would not get any sleep at all, and she would be ill again. oh, go away! go away and stay away before i make you eat your mathematics and every single number on your suit. - oh, dear! oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear! can no one help me? certainly somewhere in this kingdom there must exist a man wise enough to know the answer.

the day is already ending! the moon is peeping over the horizon. it is too late. - what can i do for you, your majesty? - nobody can do anything for me. the moon is coming up again. it willshine in the princess lenore's bedroom, and she will know it is still in the sky and that she does not wear it on a golden chain around her neck. play me something on your lute .. . something very sad, for when the princess sees the moon she will be ill again. - what do your wise men say?

- they can think of no way to hide the moon that will not make the princess lenore ill. - your wise men know everything and if they cannot hide the moon, then itcannot be hidden. - look! the moon already is shining into the princess lenore's bedroom. who can explain how the moon can be shining in the sky when it is hangingon a golden chain around her neck? - who could explain how to get the moon when your wise men said it was too large and too far away?

it was the princess lenore. therefore, the princess lenore iswiser than your wise men and knows more about the moon than they do. so i will ask her. - the princess was lying in bed, but she was wide awake and she was looking out the window at the moon shining in the sky. shining in her hand was the moon the moon the court jester had got for her. he looked very sad and there seemed to be tears in his eyes. - oh, hello, jester. that's alright!

i'm still awake. see! the moon isshining in my window. he is looking at the little golden moon in my hand. - tell me, princess lenore, how can the moon be shining in the sky when it is hanging on a golden chain around your neck? - that's easy, silly! when i lose a tooth, a new one grows in its place, doesn't it? - of course, princess. - and when the unicorn loses his horn in the forest, a new one grows in the middle of his forehead.

- that is right. - and when the royal gardener cuts the flowers in the garden, other flowers come to take their place. - i should have thought of that, for it is the same way with the daylight. - and it is the same way with the moon. i guess it is the same way with everything. - the moon has a song for you if you stood where i'm standing, you'd see what i see

the moon has a song for you princess - the court jester saw that she was asleep. gently he tucked the covers in around the sleeping princess. but before he left the room, he went over to the window and winked at the moon, for it seemed to the court jester that the moon had winked at him. the end

Thursday, December 29, 2016

puppets gold coast

felicia day: i think we're readyto broadcast "vaginal fantasy book club."hello everybody. are you here? because we're here. bonnie burton: yay. veronica belmont: hello. kiala kazebee: hi. felicia day: all-- [garbled]

kiala kazebee: what? veronica belmont: so felicia'shaving a little technical-- bonnie burton: i don't knowwhat's happening. [laughter] bonnie burton: we are live. veronica belmont: we aredefinitely live, yes. bonnie burton: oh, god. kiala kazebee: felicia'shaving some technical difficulties.

felicia day: hi, everybody. i am clearly on the worstconnection ever. [inaudible] fine until we startedbroadcasting, and then now it's terrible. anyway, welcome to "vaginalfantasy," everyone. bonnie burton: it's canada. felicia day: yes. i'm in canada, andunfortunately, i am not as

clear or as awesomeas i could be. so the ladies will take overif i crash somehow. but regardless, we are here, andit is our tenth hangout, and we are very happyto be here. and everybody introducethemselves again, if you don't know everybody. bonnie burton: ok. i'm bonnie, bonnie burton. and my dog sophie's to theleft, or that way.

and i dressed up. i dressed up. so i'm wearing my red shirt. veronica belmont: uh-oh. that's trouble. kiala kazebee: no, no. bonnie burton: you'regonna die. bonnie burton: it's areally good shirt. and i have my spock ears on.

i don't know if youcan see that. spock ears. so i tried. i tried to dress up. and i have an r2-d2pumpkin, too. felicia day: at least you putsome effort in, bonnie. bonnie burton: i did. kiala kazebee: jeez. felicia day: i put zero,because i'm traveling.

what about you, kiala? do you have an excuse? because i saw you tweeting aboutyour costume all week. kiala kazebee: i-- yeah. i couldn't think of anything. hi, i'm kiala. but also, i couldn'tthink of anything. i have, like, a green velvetcape in my closet.

veronica belmont: ooh. kiala kazebee: i do. and i have a mask, buti couldn't figure out what that was. like, i couldn't make it intoanything, and then i just gave up. 'cause i'm the worst. bonnie burton: awww. kiala kazebee: i know. felicia day: well, at leastyou had a little bit of

imagination in the intention,and then in bailing on it, at least you went through somecreative process, right? kiala kazebee: i did, and iengaged with social media. like i do. felicia day: well, that'salways the key. and then we have veronicabelmont. veronica belmont: helo, i am-- i tried. i'm wearing my gersbermsshirt.

ermahgerd, you guys,gersberms. kiala kazebee: gersberms. veronica belmont: i've literallywore this shirt on every single show that i do thisweek, so you've probably seen it on me already. anyway, yeah. i'm veronica. i don't have a costume,really. i was going to do my cosplayoutfit, but then i got lazy.

i'm not going to any halloweenparties or anything this week. bonnie burton: me neither. kiala kazebee: me neither. veronica belmont: i'm going toa grown-ups, no-kids-allowed, no-costumes-allowed partytomorrow night. felicia day: why is itno costumes allowed? i've never heard of a halloweenparty that-- veronica belmont: it'stoo much pressure. it's too much pressure.

kiala kazebee: really? veronica belmont: we justwant to drink, yeah. bonnie burton: so i hate doingcostumes, so i always do last-minute costumes. so last year i put sponges allover me when i went to the lucasfilm halloween party, wheni was still at lucasfilm, and i put sponges all over me,and i went as self-absorbed. but no one-- felicia day: ohh.

bonnie burton: no one got it. veronica belmont: funny. that took me a second. bonnie burton: absolutelyno one got it. some little kid was like, that'sthe worst spongebob squarepants costume ever. veronica belmont: i draggeddown the veronica barrier. kiala kazebee: yay! oh, god.

we are doing good workon this show. we are breaking down barriers. veronica belmont: breakingdown barriers. felicia day: we figured you werein the ghetto for long enough, veronica. we actually-- veronica belmont: the ghetto. felicia day: because of googlehangouts, the way it works, everybody's in alphabeticalorder by first name, i guess.

veronica belmont: yes, yeah. that makes sense. felicia day: so our geek andsundry account was under the name of my co-producer, kimevey, and that's why there was a veronica barrier. and we had to literallychange it to zim evey. veronica belmont: oh, that'swhy it changed? veronica belmont: oh,i feel so special. wow.

i brought about, like, greatchange within the whatever. that's funny. felicia day: well, you blessedsomeone to have their first name as zim. veronica belmont: i feellike real people now, like i'm a real-- kiala kazebee: like "invaderzim." i've watched that. veronica belmont: totally. totally.

that's a good one. felicia day: i don't likethe fact that you're so close to us now. veronica belmont: i'm sorry. i know. i'm getting my non-"guild"cooties all over everybody. felicia day: awww. veronica belmont: they'rewafting over. felicia day: i have to doanother season now.

veronica belmont: oh, but i amespecially bummed out, because i had big plans to do "poisonstudy"-themed cocktails, and bonnie can attest. and i totally just forgot,like 100% forgot. bonnie burton: i wasgoing to do it too. i have my giant wine glass, butbecause i have bronchitis, it's full of vitamin water. veronica belmont: is thatwhat's in there? bonnie burton: yeah.

it's actually the defensevitamin water. so i'm pretending it's booze,but yeah, i'm too sick, so i can't booze it up. sorry. kiala kazebee: you've beensick for weeks, bonnie. i'm really concernedabout you. bonnie burton: i am too. i'm starting to feel like i'mgetting the zombie plague. i've been sick for--

since, like, three months now? veronica belmont: you'vebeen sick for so long. bonnie burton: yeah, it startedwith cold, and then whooping cough, and thenbronchitis, and then-- kiala kazebee: can adultsget whooping cough? kiala kazebee: yeah. kiala kazebee: i had no idea. veronica belmont: there's beena whooping cough thing going on this year.

bonnie burton: and i was healthyfor like a week, and then i got those bronchitisout of nowhere. veronica belmont: ihad to teach her how to cough properly. felicia day: did you getvaccinated for whooping cough? bonnie burton: i know. i don't want to cough intomy elbow and get lipstick on my shirt. kiala kazebee: onyou red shirt?

bonnie burton: can'ti just do this? can't i just do theconsumption? i need like a little-- veronica belmont: don't jokeabout the consumption, bonnie. felicia day: oh. veronica belmont: there'snothing funny about the consumption. bonnie burton: i need a littlelace handkerchief so you see the little droplets of bloodand know that i'm

going to die soon. felicia day: i always wantedthat when i was a kid, not knowing that it was terrible. i always wanted-- veronica belmont: well,i didn't even get-- when i had the consumption,i didn't even get my coughing rag. that's right, you had it. kiala kazebee: youhad consumption.

veronica belmont: i hadtuberculosis, yes. i'm a tuberculoid. felicia day: how is thatpossible in this day and age? where did you get it? veronica belmont: did yougo to south america? bonnie burton: no. lower haight. veronica belmont:lower haight. kiala kazebee: yeah, therewas a tb breakout.

when i was living in thecastro, there was one. veronica belmont: oh, really? same thing. veronica belmont: i got coughedon by the wrong person, apparently. who knows? but anyway, we are wildlydigressing. we haven't even startedto talk about what it is we do here.

felicia day: ok. what we are doing is "vaginalfantasy." we have a book club, and every month, we read a mainbook, and we have an alt pick that we try to touchon at the end. and our forums talk about thebooks during the month, and we sort of round up-- bonnie burton: [coughs] felicia day: and this-- wasthat a good summary? what was that weird cough?

oh, bonnie. bonnie burton: thatwas me, sorry. felicia day: that's all right. it was good-- bonnie burton: i'm tryingto cough away from the microphone. felicia day: no worries. so basically, thismonth, well-- we have people on the forums whointeract, but also we have

a lot of local hangouts. if you have a hankering tomeet other people who are reading books in the club, wehave tons of local meet-ups. in fact, our first new york citymeet-up is going to be november 2 at argo. veronica belmont: oh, yes. and we are actually having a-- bonnie burton: isit still there? felicia day: i--

i hope so. good point. you're right. she tweeted me yesterday. i hope you're stillhaving a hangout. oh, boy. veronica belmont: we're having abay area hangout on the 11th of november, on 11/11. felicia day: whereare you going?

veronica belmont: we're doing itat borderlands, i believe, at the borderlands cafe. kiala kazebee: oh, i hopethat cat is there. veronica belmont: no. bonnie burton: ilove that cat. veronica belmont: ishe still around? i thought maybe he-- kiala kazebee: did he? oh, is he not around?

veronica belmont: i'mnot 100% sure. bonnie burton: whoa, really? aw. veronica belmont: i thinkhe's still around. he's really cool. he's a sphinx, andhe's adorable. felicia day: somebodyshould bring a cat. veronica belmont:i have plenty. felicia day: well, i'll haveto do an [inaudible] when i

get back from traveling. i'm going right to-- i'm going to australia. felicia day: yes, and i thinkwe're trying to get a meet-up there in brisbane, too. so-- veronica belmont:i'm so jealous. felicia day: yeah, igotta jump on the-- i know, i'm reallyexcited, guys.

i've never been to australia. it's a very long flight,and i don't know what to do with myself. veronica belmont: i've alwayswanted to go, but there's so many tiny things thatcan kill you there. felicia day: you canprobably get-- veronica belmont: like koalas. bonnie burton: veronica. veronica belmont: there's somany tiny little things that

can kill you. it's like the little greenoctopuses, octopi. kiala kazebee: you'retalking about koalas again, aren't you. veronica belmont: octopussy.(giggling) i just said a bad thing. bonnie burton: koalaswill cut you. bonnie burton: koalasare dangerous. they--

they're like ewoks. they're cute, but-- veronica belmont: yeah, andthe platypi, with their spines, with their-- bonnie burton: they'vegot these, like, claws, shred you up. veronica belmont: yeah, theygot their little hooks. bonnie burton: they're likelittle wolverines. felicia day: no, that'a honey badger.

you're thinking of a honey-- kiala kazebee: no, that'sa slow loris. you're thinking-- bonnie burton: no, koalasare deadly. veronica belmont: i don't thinkwe're thinking about slow lorii. bonnie burton: koalasare deadly. felicia day: ok, anyway. veronica belmont: slow loriiis the name of my--

kiala kazebee: tumblr. veronica belmont: chat room,slow lorii is the name of my what cover band? come on, chat room. felicia hates this game. come up with a good one. felicia day: i hatethis game so much. i can never think of any. that's why i hate it so much.

veronica belmont: they'll comeup with one, and then i'll scream it out randomly. felicia day: anyway, if youenjoy this club-- which if you're basing it on thisviewing alone, you probably aren't. felicia day: if you enjoyromance in fiction and want to meet up with local people, wehave a whole list on our forums on goodreads. and the link is either belowor on

all right. this month's book. let's get to it. we had two books. "poison study" was-- well, ourmain was "master of crows," and then it was pointed outafter the broadcast that-- veronica belmont: slowlorii is the name of my rush cover band. veronica belmont: thank

you, brit c. [laughter] felicia day: thank bonnie burton: so "master ofcrows" was my main pick, but unfortunately it's aself-published novel, or is it has a very small press,e-book only. and so we had a huge controversyon the forums, whether we should switch them,and i went ahead and switched them because there were manypeople on there who only read paper books.

we have a couple herein our group who only read paper books. so we didn't want todisenfranchise paper book readers, so i switchedthe main and the alt. which caused even morecontroversy later because of sort of the ilk of "poisonstudy." now we'll get to that, but what was the-- did you guys readthe alt as well? veronica belmont: yeah,i read both.

kiala kazebee: i didn't read-- i read some of it. bonnie burton: i brokemy kindle rule. i read it. so the theme i picked were twowomen who were sort of-- the heroines in both thesebooks, "poison study" and "master of crows" are sort ofat the mercy of the male protagonist, and that's why ithought they kind of went-- bonnie burton: this is thekindle one, the "master of

crows." felicia day: yeah. so "poison study" is by mariasnyder, and it's a book about a fantasy, alt-fantasy worldwhere a woman is a prisoner and then she becomes theruler's poison-taster, basically has to eatall the food. and let's see. kiala, you start. what did you think of"poison study?"

kiala kazebee: um, i didn't-- i didn't love it. i-- i really-- i felt like it was a kindof bad "hunger games." veronica belmont: really? i wanted-- i wanted to like it. i really did want to like it.

i just felt like it was, likethe exposition was too exposition-y. and i just-- i don't know. the character didn'tdraw me in. i felt like it was a littletoo easy to read. and i don't know. i just couldn't get into it. i'm sorry.

i hate not liking a book. felicia day: no, that's ok. kiala kazebee: nowi'm gonna go cry. bonnie burton: that'sall right, kiala. they can't all becthulhu erotica. felicia day: oh, boy. well, we'll go down morespecific stuff, because in every book, there's good thingsto find and then things we don't like as much.

and we'll go over the charactersand the lore. let's just go over overallimpressions. bonnie, what did you think? bonnie burton: ok, so i-- hm. ok, so i would always be eatingor drinking when i was reading this, which kindof warped me a little. because there's a lot ofdescriptions of how you're supposed to poison-taste.

and i'm always intrigued bythat, because i have this old book that's like the big book ofpoisons for writers, and it tells you how to write shortstories to kill people with poison and have the rightkind of reactions. 'cause i always hate readingbooks that people die of poisons, but they don'tdie the right way, and all that stuff. veronica belmont: hate that. bonnie burton: so i wasdefinitely intrigued by it.

like, i thought it wasinteresting, but at the same time, it didn't-- i just didn't compelme enough. and i also thoughtshe was just-- as a character, i didn't likeher as much as i wanted to. it's yolanda? how do you pronounce her name? veronica belmont: yelena. bonnie burton: yelena.

and i just, i don't know. for some reason, i just-- she talks a lot about filth,too, and we'll get to that later when we talk about theonly freakin' sex scene. which is pretty disgusting. bonnie burton: yeah, 'causewhere they're having sex is like, eww. but anyway, there's just a lotof like, i don't know. i felt sorry for her, becausein the beginning, she's in a

dungeon, and then she becomesthe taster so she doesn't die. but you're kind of-- throughout the whole book, i'mlike, man, i would've just picked death, because she-- she just doesn't havea good time throughout this whole thing. and also, it felt more likea young adult book. it didn't feel likean adult book. bonnie burton: becausethere was hardly

anything adult about it. felicia day: yeah, thatwas interesting. bonnie burton: it kind of feltlike i-- it wasn't that i felt like i was reading "hungergames," because that's definitely a differentkind of book. but all the way throughit, i'm like, is she ever gonna have sex? or is this one of those bookswhere throughout the whole thing, she has to ordeal majorstuff and learn about herself

and learn about all herendurance and history and blah-de-blah, blah, blah,and then finally, she gets to kiss a dude? i was just, like, neh. i was more intrigued by the sidecharacters, which happens a lot with me when weread these books. but we can talk aboutthat later. but my overall impression was itwas like a young adult book on how to not dieof poisoning.

kiala kazebee: oh my god. um, veronica, whatdid you think? veronica belmont: i actuallykind of liked it. i thought it was good. i didn't think it was up toour normal levels of sexy times, obviously, because therewere virtually none. and i remember checking in ataround 40% of the way through, being like, uh, so guys? this-- is this gonna--

is this gonna get a littlemore exciting in the sexy times department? but i definitely get theyoung adult vibe. i didn't even think of "thehunger games." i'm only kind of seeing that comparison nowthat you've made that point. but i liked yelena. i thought she was kind of astrong character, and i liked a lot of the decisionsshe made. i question some of her motives,i guess, but i

thought the characterswere cool. i'm not explaining this verywell for some reason. maybe it's becausei've already had half a glass of wine. but i did like it. i did enjoy the book. i read it pretty quickly, too. bonnie burton: yeah,it was a fast read. felicia day: yeah, well i readthis a long time ago and i

remember loving it. and this is the first in atrilogy, and i remember this being, i thought, the strongestbook in the trilogy. and then when i was rereadingit, i saw a lot of things that i don't remember, which yeah-- i remember it being a lot moreromantic, and then when i reread it, it had a lot lessromance than i thought. as well as it was muchmore young adult in nature than i thought.

maybe it's because it was oneof my first forays into romance-y books,so i thought-- somehow perceived thatit was bigger. but this caused a hugecontroversy in a really interesting thread on the forum,because some people were like, i don't even thinkthis qualifies as a book that should be in this club. so i was wondering if you guyswanted to go down the line, just talking about, what do youguys think qualifies as a

"vaginal fantasy" book? one that we wouldread in this-- bonnie burton: onethat we've read? or one that should read. felicia day: well, thatwe should read. like, we should haveguidelines? or should there be a minimumstandard of romance in it? is it ok to just havea female lead in it? should it always havea female lead in it?

veronica belmont: yeah, i kindof came across some of these questions myself this week,because i was trying to think of-- because it's supposed to bemy pick this month, and so i was kind of going through alot of the suggestions that were being made in the forumsand on twitter, and trying to figure out really whatconstitutes a pick for this club, and being like, well,it's hard to tell, judging from a lot of the descriptionsthat i'm reading on goodreads and on the web, whether or notthis has the right amount of

romance in it. it's really difficult to knowunless you have someone who's read it before. and fortunately for us, a lot ofthe time either felicia or kiala has actually read thebooks, or at least is very familiar with the author, so wehave some kind of idea of what to expect in termsof the romance quotient in that story. so yeah.

i think it needs to have alittle more romance in "poison study." that felt a little bittoo young adult for me. i like it when a book that weread gives you that kind of like ooohh! kind of feel. like i we need alittle oohhhh! that's why we're readingthese books. that's kind of why it'sthe point of the club. bonnie burton: we needsome titillation.

veronica belmont: a littletitillation. bonnie burton: but yeah. we need some, like, whewww! so we need to blush a little[inaudible] the book. veronica belmont: we need to atleast put it on a 1 on the felicia blush-o-meter. felicia day: all right, sominimum requirement, we need to have a strong romance. but we're saying we have tohave, like, naughty parts.

there has to be some part inevery book we read from here on out that makes youblush, felicia. felicia day: well-- all right. kiala kazebee: that'snot that hard. bonnie burton: that'sreally good measure. felicia day: i mean, sometimesit's hard to know if a book-- it reads like it's going to havea romance, but then it doesn't have, like--

bonnie burton: i'm pretty sureyou could tell by the cover of most of our books. if the guy's like half-nakedand she's being caressed, and he's got-- felicia day: well, that'sa guarantee. but yeah. i'm-- ok. i'll give you that one.

i mean, "master of crows," ithink if you read it, is probably more along the linesof what we would consider a "vaginal fantasy" book, becausethere are several racy scenes in it. i think that were reallyracy, personally. veronica belmont: mm-hm. bonnie burton: well yeah, butshe's also half-naked in the cover, so that's agood indication. felicia day: yeah, all right.

so half-naked people on thecover is probably-- veronica belmont: so we shouldjudge a book by its cover, is what you're saying. bonnie burton: yes. this is what this genre is. veronica belmont: weshould absolutely. bonnie burton: it'sthe bodice-ripper. i mean, that's what theseare supposed to be. kiala kazebee: well, haveyou guys read--

i think it's-- is it "lady inthe forest" or "lady of sherwood?" felicia day: oh yeah. the [inaudible] marillier, right? kiala kazebee: i think-- no, not those. the ones where it's the robinhood story, but told from the point of view of marian?

bonnie burton: oh yeah,those are great. and those have a really strongromance component. i mean, it's huge. and then also, and there's somesex, but it's not like super explicit, but it'sdefinitely hot and heavy in a bodice-rippy kind of way,but it's not explicit. and i'm wondering, would thatfall into this, to "vaginal fantasy" or not? felicia day: i mean,i think that we

should read good books. i don't know if we should havelike a sex litmus test. veronica belmont: but that'skind of what we're out to do. we're trying to find that happymedium between like a book that's-- like we said in the panelat dragon*con. like, we want it to be able tostand alone by itself without the titillation, but we also-- that's part of the reason.

we're having fun talking aboutthis stuff because a, it cracks this up, it makesus giggle, it's fun. and it's something that a lot ofus wouldn't normally read. we're trying to promote thisgenre that we think is exciting and fun and has somemerit to it as well in the literature department. so i think all those elementshave to kind of come together in the perfect storm of a"vaginal fantasy" pick. bonnie burton: but it's alsokind of fun to make fun of the

really way-out sex scenes. because i mean, we've read somebooks in the past where it's like-- especially, remember thatshape-shifter book? felicia day: well, the[inaudible] shape-shifter last month was kind of like, whoa. i mean, wait, i mean, he wasrubbing vanilla lotion on himself and it was most uneroticthing possible. you know, and it's also aquestion-- like sometimes,

some books kind of getput in an erotica category but still have-- and it's like, can we picksomething that's too racy? because i'm always concernedabout picking something that's like, whoa, dude! bonnie burton: well, i mean,we sort of did that with cthulhu erotica, because thecthulhu erotica did have, technically, erotica in it. but i think we got through it--

but that was an anthology. that wasn't just one story. so there were plentyto choose from. but i don't know, like imentioned different stuff like "story of o," and like actualerotica books that are considered classic erotica, thatare actually taught in colleges, too. so they have a literaturecomponent to them. they're not just smut.

and we haven't readany of those. felicia day: yeah, i think it'simportant that we pick things that aren't just forsmut's sake or [inaudible] boring. because honestly, i've read alot of books like that, and they it gets very repetitiveplot-wise. because obviously they'reconstructing, the authors are constructing it to fit inthis genre, which is a little bit out.

because i really, i love readingromance, but within the confines of a futuristicworld or a medieval world. kiala kazebee: oh! oh! the youtube-- oh, i'm sorry. bonnie burton: go ahead. kiala kazebee: oh, the youtubechat is saying that the books i was talking about isjennifer roberson.

did you-- felicia day: oh, yes. kiala kazebee: yes, andthen have you read the tiger and del books? because i think that those fall directly into our category. so i'm sorry. i just-- felicia day: oh, no,those are good.

well, maybe we can do thoseafter next month. bonnie burton: and i like thatwe do a paranormal element and a historical novel element andsteampunk and all that, because obviously i don't wantto just read straight-up bodice-ripper. like i mean, i read "fiftyshades of grey," but i would never wish that on anyone. so i don't want us to--you know what i mean? felicia day: no, i would neverwant to read a romance novel

where it's just like, he's a hitman, and she's on the run, like in our world. if it's on another planet,they can do that. but i don't know, for somereason, i can't take it seriously if it's real life. i can't either. it has to have some sort ofparanormal element to it or i just start giggling. um, ok, well, i'm glad that we--and then everybody can

continue to discuss that. and you know, as we go along, wewill open up suggestions to the club, so maybe you guys onthe forums could be able to pick the month after next, ordecember, maybe, we'll just put it on the forum. so we'll be able to mix it up alittle bit, so we rotate and everything like that. let's get back to"poison study." felicia day: we had some reallyinteresting comments

about the story. sarah on the forums thought thatthe issue of trust was a really interesting theme in thebook, which i thought was really interesting as well. and then there were a lot ofcomments on the ending about the dungeon scene, where theyfinally got together, and we get all of yelena's backstory,telling all the backstory to her love interest, and thenthey have sex on a really dirty floor.

which was like-- bonnie burton: yeah, ok. yeah, so i wanted tobring that up. so the only sex scene we get--'cause there's hints that sadly, she was raped byher previous owners or captors or whatever. thankfully it does not go intogreat detail on that, because i hate books like that. i don't want to readrape stories.

it's just not-- yyech. and it makes me feel really-- itmakes me feel worse, and it takes me out of aromance book-- felicia day: oh, i just readthis horrible book-- that was suggested on the forums,actually-- by johanna lindsey, "prisonerof mine," or something. guys, this was thew-- this book. i was just like, i cannotget into this book. veronica belmont: whatwas bad about it?

felicia day: well, first of all,the whole set-up for the book is it's medieval, and theset-up for the book is that the heroine basicallyassaults the hero. [canned laughter sound effect] felicia day: and everything fromthere is this horrible, abusive relationship-- bonnie burton: did you justuse a sound effect? veronica. felicia day: did youuse a sound effect?

veronica belmont: ididn't do that. felicia day: do it again. veronica belmont: nope. bonnie burton: see, this is whygoogle+ uses thus in their presentations, is because weplay with all their sound effects and freakingmasks and stuff. anyhoo-- yes, it was just wayover the line. i cannot see that there's anyromance in there, when you

start your relationship withassaulting each other, or during the relationship. but a lot of people actually hada problem with this book, because they felt like it waslike a munchausen syndrome, where yelena, being captiveto the spymaster-- felicia day: they fellin love because she was captive to him. which i didn't get at all, evenon the second reading-- bonnie burton: wait, is thatcalled munchausen?

kiala kazebee: i thinkyou mean stockholm. it's stockholm syndrome. felicia day: oh, what'smunchausen syndrome? kiala kazebee: munchausen byproxy is where the parents make their kids sick? you know like in "thesixth sense?" veronica belmont: oh,that's funny. do you guys watch "top gear?" veronica belmont:that's funny.

they were doing that same joke,where he was calling it the helsinki syndrome, and theywere like, i think you mean the stockholm syndrome. bonnie burton: let'sjust call it the haight & ashbury syndrome. veronica belmont: thehaight-ashbury syndrome. bonnie burton: yeah, i kind ofthought that too, because i kept reading the book, and i'mlike, who's she actually going to have sex with?

because the two guards, jacoband ari, i thought were gay. so i just put them off as liketwo gay guys that were-- which is hot, to me-- but ididn't think of them as like love interests. and then everybody else inher life beats her or is just kind of a jerk. and then when we got to thecommander being transgendered, i was like, i am so confusedat this point, i don't even know what's going on anymore.

veronica belmont: why, youdidn't think that-- i thought that was kindof awesome, actually. bonnie burton: no, i didn'tthink it was bad. i didn't think it was bad. i was just confused. because i'm like, 'cause you getglimpses of this woman in furs or something. doesn't she have like a visionor something, and she sees the commander as a woman, and she'slike, oh, that's weird.

and then it doesn't getrevisited until the very, very end, when he's in his coma stateor whatever, and that's when you find out. and it just felt likean afterthought. i felt like if you're going todo something like that in a book, really explore it. don't just mention it once as aweird dream, and then at the very end, have this hugething about it. like, bring it up more.

to me, i was just like, why isthis even in here if you're just bringing it up asan afterthought? and then the fact that she hassex on a dungeon floor-- i mean, there's vomit-- veronica belmont: i'msorry, i thought that was kind of awesome. i don't know why you guysdon't like that. bonnie burton: crap,are you serious? would you do that, veronica?

would you have sex ona dungeon floor? veronica belmont: if i thoughti was going to die? definitely. bonnie burton: ew! felicia day: oh, yeah. veronica belmont: definitely. felicia day: yes, if you'regonna die, and that was the last time you could ever-- kiala kazebee: yeah, i'dtotally do that.

yeah. veronica belmont: yeah, see? nope, sorry, bonnie. kiala kazebee: that partdidn't bother me. it did bother me that she justsuddenly came on to-- is it valek? or valick. bonnie burton: yeah, valek. kiala kazebee: valek.

she came onto him, like-- wasthat right after we find out about what happen to her? or are we still-- felicia day: right after. it's right after. i mean, it just-- felicia day: that's whata couple people on the forum said. bonnie burton: it kind of cameout of nowhere, 'cause she

didn't actually seem like shewas attracted to him at all during the book, at all. felicia day: no-- kiala kazebee: it didn'treally describe him. veronica belmont: ithought she did. i thought ashley on the forumshad some really great points. she mentioned thegoing after-- what's his-- i can't remember his name.

kiala kazebee: rand? veronica belmont:the main guy. bonnie burton: valek? veronica belmont: valek. felicia day: rand? the cook? no, the main male character. felicia day: oh, the bad guy. kiala kazebee: no.

brazell? valek? felicia day: oh, valek, yes. kiala kazebee: the good guy. not reyad-- veronica belmont: themain good guy. also i agree with ashley aswell, that the reyad lame ghost situation wasjust, like-- what the hell?

veronica belmont: ghostfollowing her did not make any sense at all. kiala kazebee: i don't know. veronica belmont: maybethat was part of her magic or something. bonnie burton: i thought itwas like a weird "hamlet" thing, like maybe-- bonnie burton: she killed him,she was haunted by her conscience.

or i-- that was-- kiala kazebee: yeah, i got"hamlet" too, but i've been rewatching all of "sons ofanarchy," so that's-- bonnie burton: yeah,that'll do it. veronica belmont: and why didmark hate her so much? bonnie burton: 'causemark's a-- mark's a freakin'-- you know. i can't say it.

kiala kazebee: she's a jerk. felicia day: she's a jerk. bonnie burton: ok,put it this way. have you ever worked in anoffice, and there was like an older woman that's like asupervisor that hates all the young women that comeinto the office? that's what she's like. kiala kazebee: that's like me. veronica belmont: that'slike me in ten years.

kiala kazebee: that'stotally me. it's like a mean littleoffice thing. it's like at everyjob i've had. bonnie burton: well, notcurrently, but you know, other jobs i've had, where you comein, and if you're younger, then the older woman that's incharge, she'll just totally be rude to you. it's like what happened in "madmen." just watch "mad men." you'll see it.

felicia day: there werea couple people-- holly mentioned that-- did you figure outthe butterfly dust really was not-- bonnie burton: oh, yeah. kiala kazebee: yeah,right away. felicia day: and also, rhapsodywanted to know, did you want to eat the creo or-- veronica belmont: yes.

veronica belmont: yes, i thoughtit was like a rolo. veronica belmont: yes! me-- veronica belmont: no, what isthe one, the cadbury flakes, the cadbury flake-- bonnie burton: you knowwhat i thought it was? those chocolates that youget at christmas. you know those ones thatare wrapped in gold, and they're crunchy?

veronica belmont: maybe,like a truffle? felicia day: oh, fair rosay? one of those ferrar roche? veronica belmont: roche,like a roche! yes, like a roche! yeah, totally. felicia day: that's whati thought it was. veronica belmont: yeah. i was like, i wouldtotally do that.

i don't care if my brainturned to mush. veronica belmont: how didthe commander not-- how is he/she not at all-- he. he self-identifies as male. i should say he. felicia day: right. bonnie burton: right. veronica belmont: howwould he not be suspicious of this candy?

this is the stupidest thing i'veever heard in my life. kiala kazebee: and he's givingit to her every morning. veronica belmont: nom,nom, nom, nom. i test all of my food, but thiscandy from brazell, who's like one of my, you know-- kiala kazebee: mymortal enemy. veronica belmont: i'm justgonna keep eating this. bonnie burton: i don't thinkthey had chocolate there. because remember, they talkabout they remember coffee,

but they hadn't hadcoffee in so long. so i kind of feel like chocolatefalls under the coffee category, where maybethey haven't had chocolate in so long, everyone forgot what ittastes like, and it became this huge delicacy, and that'swhy he's like, screw it, i'll just eat it all the time. and then it's addictive. felicia day: i think that someof those plot things were a little obvious, and i think thateven hinted at that young

adult nature. because when i first read this,i was enamored of it. i loved it. lots of people on the forumsloved the book as well. so there were some-- i don't think the storytellingis quite a complicated because it's on more of a young adultlevel than it was on an adult level, where it was likemore mystery threads. the thing that i found mostfascinating, re-reading it,

that i never noticed before,is that this is a messed-up government that thiswoman/man-- man-- has imposed on everyone. like, ok. everyone gets paid exactly whatthey need and no more. no one goes hungry. they're fed by the state. if you commit any crime, you'rebasically a prisoner and you're killed.

you can never claimself-defense. you're just killed. bonnie burton: or accident. or accident. everyone wears a uniform. felicia day: like thiscrazy communist-- bonnie burton: and they renamedall the countries by letter and number. veronica belmont: that wasa little "hunger game"-y.

that was a little"hunger game"-y. bonnie burton: yeah, you don'tget any sense of identity. and i thought it-- [inaudible] was pretty bad. like i was like, i don't wantto live in this world. this world sucks. veronica belmont: that's whyshe gets out, so she can go live in the awesome magicalworld that's over on the other side of the mountainsor whatever.

that place sounds way better. but did anyone think she wasgoing to hook up with rand? because that's what i thoughtwas going to happen. felicia day: really? veronica belmont: so i know aguy named rand, and for the whole book, i was justpicturing this guy. bonnie burton: ohh! veronica belmont: and itactually fits him really well. bonnie burton: because honestly,i think she should

have hooked up with him. because hooking up with thechef is pretty awesome. kiala kazebee: buthe was a jerk. veronica belmont: hewas a total jerk. bonnie burton: what? he fed her cake. veronica belmont: hesold her ass out. bonnie burton: well, later. later.

veronica belmont: hesold everybody out. bonnie burton: but beforethe betrayal, he was giving her free cake. veronica belmont: he gotwhat's coming to him. felicia day: i thoughthe was creepy. and whenever i seethe word rand, i just think rand al'thor. kiala kazebee: randal'thor, yeah. felicia day: and how i haven'tread the last three books, and

how am i ever going toread the last one? i'm going to have togo back and reread 28,000 pages of book. veronica belmont: justgive up like i did. just give up. book four. just end it. kiala kazebee: no, i'm readingthe last one right now. veronica belmont: end it.

felicia day: is thelast one out? i thought it was january. kiala kazebee: no, thelast one from last-- bonnie burton: whatbook is this? what are you talking about? veronica belmont: don't tellsanderson i said that. bonnie burton: what areyou talking about? [interposing voices] felicia day: it's an epic.

and when i was-- kiala kazebee: it's the "wheelof time" series. felicia day: when i was like13, 14, it was my messiah. i used to read them[inaudible]. bonnie burton: are you guystalking about ayn rand? veronica belmont: i get playedby the internet every time i say i gave up on book four,so i should never mention that again. kiala kazebee: you gaveup on book four?

felicia day: some of the bestones are after that though. veronica belmont: shh! don't say it loudly. the internet will kill me. felicia day: well, you justsaid it on record. kiala kazebee: i love all thetar valon stuff, and then i will skip over all thebattle scenes. i'll just skip to thetar valon stuff. i'll skip over allthe aiel stuff.

felicia day: aiel, howdo you say it? i loved all the godstuff the most. that was my favorite part, andi would skip over mat a lot. veronica belmont: bonnie,what are you doing? bonnie burton: i'm checking mytwitter, 'cause you guys are talking about a book,i have no idea what you're talking about. kiala kazebee: sorry. let's go back to--

[ominous music sound effect] felicia day: let's talk aboutthe characters, guys. oh, man. yeah, so we had a lotof comments-- veronica belmont: why does thatdo the "inception" noise? bonnie burton: that'snot right. kiala kazebee: isthis real life? felicia day: take thataway from her. um, zita and amy felt thatit was stockholm-y, their

relationship. which i don't know about that,because i really liked valek. i mean, i always likea guy with a very noble creed, though. i'm a total paladin-lover. bonnie burton: yeah, butfelicia, do you like guys throwing rocks at you? because that scene kindof pissed me off. bonnie burton: he threwa rock at her.

twice. those rocks were heavy. those were for sculptingbutterflies and panthers. those weren't light rocks. felicia day: i mean-- kiala kazebee: yeah,plus he did that. felicia day: he needs to justtend his corners a little. bonnie burton: ugh, felicia. felicia day: all right,you're right.

ok, fine. courtney on the forumssaid he was sexy. he's the closest thing to aninja i've read in a book, and ninjas are sexy. so there you go. veronica belmont: doesn't hekind of remind you of-- felicia day: yes, jocelyn. veronica belmont: jocelyn. felicia day: another guy--

kiala kazebee: he remindedme more of-- the other guy. her, oh crap, you know. her, uh, felicia day: oh, [inaudible] kiala kazebee: her trainer. no, no, no. the guy who buys her from thenight court in "kushiel's dart."

felicia day: oh, delauncy. kiala kazebee: yes. felicia day: delauncy. anael, or whatever. bonnie burton: i've got a-- i got a bit of a "kushiel'sdart" vibe from this book. it was just not-- there wasn'tany sex in it, but yeah. it was kind of-- veronica belmont: and itwasn't as well written.

bonnie burton: i'min charge of you. veronica belmont: and thecharacters weren't as interesting. bonnie burton: die ifi don't give you-- [inaudible]. well what about-- so valek, we have some-- what about yelena asa main character? uh, alithea on the forumswas appreciative that

she was not a virgin. also, a lot of people likedher acrobatic skills-- bonnie, another bonnie. and then nancy elizabethsaid, yelena is my preferred sort of hero. far from the damsel in distressbut not automatically kick-ass and a saucy minx. bonnie burton: well, she did endup killing like five guys. so i mean, she did kickass at the end.

like she turns all buffy andshe just starts cracking skulls and breaking necks. felicia day: she is surprisinglygood at everything, though. like i loved her when i firstread it, and then when i read it again, i'm like, whoa, thischick is great at-- she's great at poison. she's an amazing acrobat. she takes off everysingle thing--

bonnie burton: yeah, but to behonest, she threw up a lot. veronica belmont: yeah, shewas terrible at running. she's like me. bonnie burton: yeah, me too. i can't run. kiala kazebee: i cry. i cry when i run. veronica belmont: i cry andpuke and go cry some more. bonnie burton: yeah,i can't run.

kiala kazebee: snot rockets. bonnie burton: it's true. bonnie burton: when the zombiething happens, i'm going to be in the corner throwing up,because i can't run. so i'm gonna be-- kiala kazebee: well,neither can they. veronica belmont: well,are they fast? or are they shamblers? what kind of zombie is it?

depends on what kind ofapocalypse we have. felicia day: i liked-- oh, youknow that scene where she was flying through thetops of trees? that was my favorite scenein the whole book. bonnie burton: oh, when she"jungle book"ed it? kiala kazebee: oh, like"crouching tiger, hidden dragon?" like that. veronica belmont: "crouchingtiger, hidden yelena." [laughter]

bonnie burton: i will saythere's a lot of smearing of mud in this book. bonnie burton: and there'sa lot of-- i don't-- it's not-- ugh. this book was too descriptivein smells. i just couldn't get over it. i kept smelling likestable horse crap.

felicia day: but i thoughtthat was good. it was very sensory. i think that's good writing,when you-- bonnie burton: lots of-- i mean, i don't know if you'veever woken up in a pool of your own vomit, but that'snot a good smell to keep reading about. and that was three timesin the book. i kept counting, like-- sothere's no sex in this book,

so i was like, ok, instead ofmarking down how many times she has sex, i'm marking downhow many time she pukes. [sad trombone sound effect] bonnie burton: she threw up likeseven different times. she threw up a lotin this book. there's a lot of vomit. felicia day: whydid you give-- kiala kazebee: veronica. felicia day: a mariachiband for the vomit?

veronica belmont: it wasn'ta mariachi band. felicia day: what was it? veronica belmont: itwas a sad trombone. kiala kazebee: sad trombone. bonnie burton: sad trombone. bonnie burton: i'm really gladthere's no vomit sound effect on google+ hangout. i'm just gonna saythat right now. veronica belmont: bleeghhh.

felicia day: yeah,you're right. you know, the one thing was,one time after she puked, shortly thereafter,valek kissed her. and then i was like-- veronica belmont: ugggh! bonnie burton: it's true! it's true. and, by the way, not one mentionof brushing teeth ever in this book.

so i all i keep thinking-- veronica belmont: well,that's that era. they don't do that-- bonnie burton: worst breath. veronica belmont:i was thinking about deodorant today. veronica belmont: lifemust have been really smelly before. kiala kazebee: yeah, 'causeif i go one day--

veronica belmont: one day. i know within a couplehours if i forgot. kiala kazebee: me too. veronica belmont: likepretty quickly. felicia day: that's whyi always have a tiny one in my purse. veronica belmont: yeah, thetiny one in your bag? yeah, the tiny one. kiala kazebee: yeah,i have that.

i have that too. bonnie burton: i'd like toimagine in medieval times they had the hippie rock. you know, the rock that allthose hippies use underneath their-- you don't think so? felicia day: that's advancedtechnology. kiala kazebee: they had-- veronica belmont:that is a lie. that's like healing crystals.

kiala kazebee: they had thosepomander things that they wore around their neck andthey smelled. bonnie burton: oh. veronica belmont: oh. that's why they havescented gloves. bonnie burton: really? veronica belmont: thesmelly, you had-- kiala kazebee: yeah, 'causeit's like filled with cloves and stuff.

bonnie burton: oh, ok. anyway. i'm just saying, there was a lotof vomiting in this book. felicia day: it was a lot. i agree with you. bonnie burton: there was a lotof bodily fluids, and they weren't the right bodily fluids,let me just say that. well, we've already established,we're definitely going to try to have more sexytimes in the books, but keep

the standard of writingvery high. this one definitely-- in retrospect, there was alot less romance than i remembered. i think i'm imbued it alittle bit more, so i apologize for that. and we will hopefully makeup for it next month. bonnie burton: butyou know what? a lot of people tweeted how muchthey liked about-- they

liked the book. so there were a lot of peoplethat liked the book and want to read the series. so i don't think itwas a bad book, necessarily, for our group. i just personally prefersex over vomit. kiala kazebee: yeah, a lot ofpeople really liked the book. felicia day: i really stillenjoy the book and i would recommend it, but iunderstand why--

a lot of people didlike it, but the flipside, i agree with. let's wrap this book up so wecan talk about the alt and other things. what kind of casting areyou thinking, guys? felicia day: lovecasting broads. who would you picture as valek,and who would you picture as yelena? bonnie burton: well,yelena, yelena's

supposed to be tan, right? they describe her as havinga darker skin tone. well, she has dark hair, andi think she has light eyes? but i'm not sure. green eyes? she has green eyes, and she hasdark kind of gypsy-cast skin, they said. bonnie burton: soi pictured her-- i don't know if you guys arewatching the new "beauty and

the beast" on cw? kiala kazebee: oh, withkristin kreuk. the girl who was on"smallville," right? kiala kazebee: yep. she was lana. bonnie burton: so i kind ofpictured her as yelena. i think that's just because i'mwatching a lot of "beauty and the beast." kiala kazebee: no, that's good,because i pictured the

girl from "vampire diaries,"which is basically the same show. which, they kind of, they'reboth really super pretty. did you notice in those shows,their guns are bigger than their thighs? i don't understand that. felicia day: have you beenwatching-- did you like "beauty and the beast?"i watched the pilot. i thought it was ok.

i haven't watched it since. bonnie burton: you know what? i mean, maybe kiala caninterject, because i'm a big cw addict, so i watcheverything on cw. but i honestly-- it feels like "the nagginggirlfriend and the beast." because she's really naggy,and she only cares about finding her mom's killers, andshe constantly puts the beast in jeopardy.

because the beast isn't likethe old-school ron perlman. he's like incredible hulk kindof guy, where he had military tests done on him, and when hegets angry, he hulks out. and he's hiding from themilitary, because they want to kill him, because he's proofthat they did military experiments. he's in hiding forlike, five years. she finds him, she constantlystops by his house to talk to him about cases she's workingon, 'cause she's a detective.

she's putting him in jeopardy. like if anyone followed her,they're going to find him. and he keeps tellingher, you know what? i kind of am in hiding. and she just keepsignoring it. and on the last episode, shegot mad at him because he doesn't call her morethan once a week. i'm like, are you kidding me? you're not even dating.

it's just annoying. i like "arrow" better. felicia day: oh, but "arrow"-- i've been watching "arrow." istill enjoy it, but that guy murders probably 30people an episode. bonnie burton: he'ssupposed to! i like "arrow" 'cause it's"revenge" meets "lost" meets "batman." i mean, i like it,i'm just saying--

i'm surprised between that and"revolution," the body count on this season's tv is likethrough the roof. ok, we should probablytalk about books. ok, so casting, i picturedcamilla belle. if anybody knows her. kiala kazebee: oh, yeah! veronica belmont: yeah, youcould ugly her up a bit. bonnie burton: yeah, you couldwipe vomit on her. she'd look good in vomit.

felicia day: and valekis daniel craig. because i saw the "skyfall"trailer-- but he's supposed tobe alkaline and like skinny, and frail-y. felicia day: well, he's supposedto be a little slight, but if you rememberdaniel craig in his early years-- also, he's supposed tohave piercing blue eyes and be very proper.

bonnie burton: you knowwho i thought? you can't laugh too hardwhen i say it. bonnie burton: david bowie. veronica belmont: it's funny yousaid that, 'cause a lot of people said david bowiefor the commander. bonnie burton: yeah, yeah. kiala kazebee: oh. mm-hm. veronica belmont: and also, ithought it was a pretty great

choice, but lauren in the forumsaid tilda swinton for the commander. kiala kazebee: oh, nice. bonnie burton: i agree. veronica belmont: whichis pretty cool. that's would be agreat casting. bonnie burton: well, actually,tilda swinton might be good as the lady that's magicalthat comes in. veronica belmont: no, i saw hermore as a lucy lawless.

veronica belmont: more type. veronica belmont: vibe. bonnie burton: i thought of heras eva green, but that's just 'cause eva green was in"camelot" and i can't not think of eva greenas a witch now. bonnie burton: asa naked witch. felicia day: yeah, i know, youalways think about her naked because she looks really goodnaked, objectively. bonnie burton: she does.

she really does. kiala kazebee: she does. felicia day: she was meantto be naked, that girl. veronica belmont: wait, who arewe talking about naked? kiala kazebee: eva green. bonnie burton: eva green,in "camelot." veronica belmont: oh, i haven'tseen that show. felicia day: in anymovie she's in. wasn't she naked in one ofthe james bond movies?

i feel like she was. kiala kazebee: she was in it. felicia day: [inaudible]naked. bonnie burton: naked-ish. felicia day: i think[inaudible], where she's-- that's such a good movie. bonnie burton: by the way,someone just posted on twitter, george doggett justposted, sex over vomit is my name of my aerosmithcover band.

veronica belmont:ooh, not bad. bonnie burton: awesome. veronica belmont: not bad. let's move on to our alt book. well, so wrapping it up, we hadvarying reactions, but i think overall, if you like theblurb and like how we describe it, you will definitelylike that book. bonnie burton: i kindof-- and the second book might be better.

i feel like the secondbook would be better. bonnie burton: no, i mean,there's less romance. so if you need romance, there'sdefinitely less romance in the other two. and in fact, i kind of like hernewest series about the healer better than this one. but you know, "poison study," ithink, is a good standalone, like you could read it as astandalone or you can go on and read the series.

"master of crows,"however, i found just randomly on goodreads. bonnie burton: there's"master of crows." felicia day: and it waspublished through a very small publisher, and it's onlyavailable on kindle, so if you like that. but it's about a fantasy world,again, where a girl is sent to live with a sortof renegade magician. and she's sent to infiltrate andsort of basically root out

the fact that he's corrupted. and he is in fact corrupted. so we see a differentpoint of view. we see her point of view infalling in love with him, but still her overarching goal is tobasically entrap him to get him killed. and then he's fighting, tryingto hide this demon, or this angry god inside him that'strying to get out and basically take over the world.

veronica belmont: corruption. felicia day: so i-- and there's definitelymore romance. is much more romance-heavy. and i think if you compare thetwo books, like "poison study" has very strong lore andworld-building, versus, i think the main criticism of"master of crows," although a lot of people liked it better,especially 'cause of the romance, was the lore-buildingwas probably the weaker part

of the book. what did you guys think? i definitely agree with you onthe world-building part. because they just give youlike a few main things to accept as truth. do you know what i mean? like we have the conclave. they don't really go intoor explain what the conclave is all about.

they just, this is thisthing that exists. and then we have, youknow, this mage, this master of crows. and he has his backstory. and there's like a separateworld, or like a separate group that he kindof comes from. and we're not really going toexplain too much about that, but this exists. veronica belmont: so it juststates a lot without going

into the backstory too much. i also felt bad for martise,because i mean, i feel like half the book was taken up bythem just explaining how plain and boring she looked. bonnie burton: i know! veronica belmont: like leavethe poor thing alone. god. felicia day: yeah, a lot ofpeople commented about that. it's like, ok fine, i like thefact she's plain, but i don't

want to hear it every second. bonnie burton: yeah, itwas like a slam book. it was like-- (laughing)it was so mean. it was like in high school. veronica belmont: it wasa burn book on martise. felicia day: andthen courtney-- by the way, i reallyliked this book. and the fact that it's not themajor publisher, is even more, i think that's evenmore interesting.

and actually, the author, thesecond day, donated a portion of the proceeds from ourgroup, all the books we bought, two autism research. veronica belmont: oh, wow. felicia day: so thatwas kind of cool. veronica belmont:that's awesome. bonnie burton: cool. veronica belmont: i thoughtit was great, though. i loved so silhara.

courtney on the forumswrote this, and then it made me laugh. every time they mentioned howraspy silhara, the hero's voice was due to garroting,he became-- oh, no, it was the other guy. he became batman. this alone made the bookmuch more entertaining. bonnie burton: totally. felicia day: [inaudible]

veronica belmont: (growling)i'm silhara. bonnie burton: i totallyenvisioned batman too. it made it better. veronica belmont: insteadof bats, it's crows. bonnie burton: "master of bat." [laughter] bonnie burton: whatdid you think-- veronica belmont: andthe sex was hot. felicia day: [inaudible],bonnie?

bonnie burton: huh? felicia day: what did you thinkof the book overall? bonnie burton: i liked it. it was funny, because when i wasreading it-- now first of all, this is my firstkindle book. ever. felicia day: yay! bonnie burton: i broke mykindle rule and i read a kindle book.

so that was-- i feel like the applause metershould go up for that, because that was-- or shock meter. felicia day: veronica, where'syour applause? bonnie burton: i know, where'sthe applause sound? veronica belmont: oh, holdon, hold on, sorry. felicia day: i gota new kindle. guys, the new kindle-- [applause sound effect]

veronica belmont:i was hydrating. bonnie burton: but i missedhaving a book, so i don't think i'm going to be readingkindle books often. i still think-- do you have a new kindle? are you reading onan actual kindle? bonnie burton: i'm reading onmy phone, the kindle app. kiala kazebee: yeah, that'snot the same. felicia day: it's not--

i mean, the new kindle. veronica belmont: i'dgive you a kindle. felicia day: i have an oldkindle you can have. kiala kazebee: giveme a kindle. give me. veronica belmont: i sleepon a bed of kindles. i just get one, a newone, every week. just take one. bonnie burton: how about,veronica, just loan me--

kiala kazebee: i willtake kindles. felicia day: i willgive you a kindle. i will give you mykindle, kiala. because honestly-- yes, i will. i'll send you my old one. kiala kazebee: well,thank you. felicia day: i just gota brand new one. you can have my second-gen.

[ta-dah sound effect] that wasn't even appropriate,really. that was just superfluous. felicia day: it wasa free kindle. what's not appropriateabout that? bonnie burton: i likedthe story. i mean, it was weird, becausewhen i started reading it, it didn't feel likea romance book. it felt like this old-timey"lord of the rings" kind of--

just the language that's usedwas very eloquent and lots of big words, like someonehas a thesaurus. so it wasn't your atypical-- well because "poison study,"when you read it, it feels like it's in this time. bonnie burton: eventhough it's not. but it feels like it's thistime because the verbiage that's used, the dialogue,there's a lot of comments and mannerisms and just thingsshe says that sound very

buffy-like. so it was like-- and a lotof things that the side characters said were verylike sidekick-y type camaraderie talk. whereas with "master of crows,"it felt like this was supposed to be "lit-ra-ture."you know what i mean? veronica belmont: the writingwas very good. bonnie burton: itwas eloquent. it was eloquent.

and it was very richin detail. i don't necessarily think itshould have gone page after page after page of certaindetails, and i started to get bored and raced throughdescriptions so i could get to dialogue and action. but that's just me. i mean that's-- felicia day: i was justsurprised she doesn't have a major publishing deal.

like i think, i read so manybooks all the time, and i think the writing level of thiswas really much higher than a lot of books that i readthat have big publishers behind them. veronica belmont: absolutely. i totally agree. felicia day: i find it tobe really interesting. i like the fact that we canhighlight books and maybe explore alternate publishers.

bonnie burton: well, keep inmind, too, she might actually be making more money this way. because when you self-publishor go through smaller publishers, you have a chance tokind of erase the middleman and erase all that extrastuff that goes into paying for things. so it just may benefit her. i mean, "fifty shades of grey,"i hate to bring it up, but that was published first.

felicia day: yeah,that's true. i mean, it's a lot. it probably wouldn't-- bonnie burton: and "twilight." kat was bummed at the lackof actual crow magic. felicia day: where it'smore like, just chilling in the crow. which actually i totally get. veronica belmont: the one crowthat had any magic got like

blown up in the fourthchapter. bonnie burton: i feltbad for that crow. veronica belmont: he was like,he's like, oops, sorry. oh, well, my bad with that. bonnie burton: i know, right? i was kind of hoping itwould be, like, "the crow," where the crow-- veronica belmont: he wasn'treally the master of crows. they just kind of hungout in his orchard.

bonnie burton: theyjust hung out. felicia day: but a lot ofpeople loved the two characters. like syl loved the fact that itbegan organically and their loins didn't start pulsingimmediately. felicia day: and then the factthat martise was plain, even though it is over-mentioned,for sure. but i kind of liked thefact that it was-- she had very low self-esteem,but it was completely

justified in her character, inher backstory, in her looks, in everything. it was really, i thought,believable. as well as his isolationand his hostility it was very organic, the waythat the characters were built, and i think that wasthe strongest part of the book, is that relationship. so when they finallygot together-- i read that scenelike 50 times.

i was like, oh my gosh,it's so romantic. kiala kazebee: it sounds likeyou're describing "jane eyre." it was. because when they startedtalking about how plain she was and how dynamic he was, iwas like, this is "jane eyre." 'cause they spent so many pagestalking about how boring jane eyre was. felicia day: yeah, i couldn'tget through it. but a lot of people,you're right.

jessica said jane eyre. briana said "howl's movingcastle," which i thought was ok, yeah. felicia day: melissa said it was"beauty and the beast." so i got all of those, whichis kind of fun. bonnie burton: "beautyand the crow." veronica belmont: i bet shewasn't even that plain. i bet she wasn't eventhat plain. i bet she was actually hot.

felicia day: well, i pictureher as cate blanchett. you know, not plain, but nottraditionally gorgeous. and she has that great voice. veronica belmont: hm. felicia day: i don't know. bonnie burton: this is my onlybird that i have, by the way. veronica belmont: i can't see. where are you? where's your bird?

oh, god, i thought was like-- felicia day: oh, bonnie. veronica belmont: i wasn't onthe tab, and then i clicked back over and there'sjust this giant bird like right in my face. bonnie burton: yeah, i try notto collect dead birds, but-- i didn't get it off theroad or anything. veronica belmont: wheredo you think you get these diseases from?

veronica belmont: where do youthink this, this cough-- bonnie burton: no! veronica belmont: where doyou think you got this consumption? felicia day: it's true. a lot of people would-- veronica belmont: youhave bird flu. bonnie burton: sars, clearly. veronica belmont: bird sars.

bonnie burton: sars. veronica belmont: that'sredundant. bonnie burton: what'syour bird's name? kiala kazebee: is that-- yeah. bonnie burton: i don't havea name for him yet. maybe someone should namehim on our forums. felicia day: they should. maybe these people canname this bird before we wrap it up.

bonnie burton: do we want totalk about-- like, did anyone have questions on theforums about--? felicia day: well, holly wantsto know, again, did you think martise should have losther magic at the end? and then let's talk about--because a very interesting thread came up on this-- the fact that martise-- and this whole idea femininesuperpowers. joya started this whole threadoff of this comment by kat.

just once i want a heroine whosespecial, unique, magical gift does not have anything todo with bonding or being a vassal or sharing magic orsomething touchy-feely. i just want a heroine whowill blow crap up. felicia day: and then thisstarts a whole thread on people complaining about howmost chicks will have these healing powers and supportpowers, and they don't get to blow stuff up. bonnie burton: yeah, i agree.

why do we have the florencenightingale powers, but we don't have the-- veronica belmont: but you guys,we just read an entire book, "poison study," shehas magical power that blows shit up. bonnie burton: no, she doesn'tuse her magical power till the very end. she uses-- veronica belmont: no, she usesit several times in the

beginning and the middle of thebook where she attacks-- felicia day: she canfreeze people. veronica belmont: andshe-- well, she-- bonnie burton: oh, you mean whenshe opens her mouth and does that weird sound thing. felicia day: the weird sound,where she's like ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. veronica belmont: i thinkit said it's like bees. like a swarm of bees, like beescoming out of her mouth.

bonnie burton: is her magic thatshe sings something and people freak out? or is her magic-- felicia day: i never got whather magic exactly was. 'cause she could do a bunch ofdifferent things, and she had that ghost going aroundwith her. so it was a little vague whatyelena's power exactly were. veronica belmont: someone inthe chat room said that it explains it better later.

felicia day: yeah, in book two, it's much better explained. all her magic, the wholebook is about her-- which i didn't enjoyas much, because it was not as much valek. but i think if i reread it, iwould be like, oh, ok, it's cool if valek's not around. veronica belmont:alaskan girl. alaskan girl wants us to readthe rest of them, 'cause it

all will be revealed. bonnie burton: i do agree withthat comment, though, 'cause i'm more of the buffy field ofheroines, where i like my female heroines to be ableto hold their own. and luckily in "poison study,"she does, because she get trained by ari and jacobhow to fight. and that's good because-- andthe other woman, who's like the best woman warrior,teaches her how to use that bow.

so i kind of feel likethat was cool, 'cause she'd learned that. but i don't know. i get kind of tiredof the healing-- [car horn honks] bonnie burton: witch crap. veronica belmont:that wasn't me. that was a real sound effect. that was not--

felicia day: what? felicia day: who? veronica belmont: the horn. kiala kazebee: lies. bonnie burton: oh, thehorn is n-judah. i live right next to a train. felicia day: also, likeinvisibility and force fields, joya on the forum was talkingabout any stuff based on empathy or shyness is basically,usually what female

characters have in fantasyworlds, as much. i think there was ayoung adult book. it was about a girlwith a fire sword. i can't rememberthe name of it. it was really good. i'll link it on the forums. where she-- veronica belmont: alexcraft had real magic. veronica belmont:the wind girl.

kiala kazebee: and "mirrorof her dreams." that's-- she's, like-- felicia day: we'vegot to read that. we should read that. felicia day: is thereenough sex in that? kiala kazebee: yeah, yeah. all the stuff that she doeswith what's-his-face. felicia day: all right. maybe we'll put thaton the list.

veronica belmont: speaking ofwhich, should we talk about our next thing? felicia day: let's do castingfor this, and then we will get to-- oh, oh. there was a lot of-- i guess we're goingto probably have nsfw this video anyway. so a lot of people had aproblem with the word c-u-n-n-u-s, which i don'teven know if that's

a bad word or not. kiala kazebee: is thateven a real word? kiala kazebee: thatsounds like, they put two words together. pronounce it sesamestreet-style. bonnie burton: like, you know,they would pronounce words in sesame street, and they'd saythe first part and the second part, and then they get closer,and then the pronounce the whole word.

veronica belmont: cun. nus. kiala kazebee: nus. felicia day: is thateven a word? i don't understand it. kiala kazebee: i can't-- felicia day: anyway, everybodyhated that word in the racy parts. they were like, this is theworst word i've ever seen

felicia day: kristin took anentire star off the book just because of the useof that word. bonnie burton: wow. really? kiala kazebee: howis it pronounced? veronica belmont: is it"cunn" or "coon"-- felicia day: ok, let's nottalk about it anymore. bonnie burton: i just keptthinking mila kunis. mila kunis.

veronica belmont: all right. we'll just call it, we'll callit a mila from now on. bonnie burton: yeah,there you go. kiala kazebee: oh,that's nice. felicia day: (laughing) that'snot nice at all. bonnie burton: but anyway, ijust wanted bring up the fact that sometimes words are usedin the racy parts that are just like, whoa, stop it. just doesn't that word.

bonnie burton: well, no,we had this problem. remember we had this problem inthe shape-shifter, what was it, the shape-shifter wolfbook or whatever? wasn't there some sort of sexdescription where we're like, don't do that. don't use that word. veronica belmont: you guys areso missing out right now in the chat room. it is hilarious.

kiala kazebee: oh, god, what-- what are they saying? bonnie burton: whatare they saying? veronica belmont: they're tryingto figure out what these things mean. they're talking them out. they're like, figuring outwhat they stand for. it's really elaborate. it's cracking me up.

kiala kazebee: oh, i love it. i love it. bonnie burton: what'stwitter saying? i feel like we need to checkin with twitter more. are there any twitter questions we should be answering? veronica belmont:ha-ha, they said "cunning linguist." [laughter] veronica belmont: "cunninglinguist."

i haven't seen-- i've seen some. we have a lot of commentseverywhere. kiala kazebee: i've seen a lotof people are upset that we didn't talk about thetwo guards in-- let's talk about them. kiala kazebee: ari and jacob. veronica belmont: yeah,they were great. they were some of my favoritecharacters.

i thought they were awesome. i wish they were morein the book. bonnie burton: i actually-- i would read a whole bookjust of those two guys. like i think they should havetheir own storyline. kiala kazebee: they could havesex with each other. veronica belmont: likerosencranz and guildenstern? kiala kazebee: no,a love story. felicia day: also, in the--

veronica belmont: werethey in love? bonnie burton: in "master ofcrows," the gern and anya, and the dog which needed to bewashed really badly, but gern-- and there's were somegreat secondary characters. veronica belmont:gern is great. felicia day: definitely makesthe book [inaudible]. bonnie burton: like i could havetotally seen jacob and ari have a love triangle withthat woman warrior that was really good, that wouldn't givethem the time of day,

that was constantly tryingto impress valek. so i wanted that to happenmore than the valek/yalena thing. because i was like, these guysare awesome, and they're totally funny, and they'reengaging characters, and i totally pictured them ashot dudes, and i was totally all over that. veronica belmont: i thoughtshe was going to get it on with ari.

bonnie burton: i know, me too. veronica belmont: but ifhe's getting it on with jenko, then that's-- veronica belmont: we don'twant get in between that. bonnie burton: what'shis name? veronica belmont: jenko. bonnie burton: jenko? oh, i called him jeko. veronica belmont: that's ok.

bonnie burton: sorry. before we close out, let's doour casting, and then we have a couple questions, andwe'll announce our books for next month. but for casting, we hada lot of suggestions. i believe rufus sewell andsummer glau were two top picks for casting "master of crows."i picked hri-- i can't even say his name,but he's roshan-- roshan--

felicia day: he's likea bollywood-- he's that bollywood starwho's like the hottest guy on the planet. and cate blanchett. those were my two picks. veronica belmont: cate-- i don't see that. veronica belmont: i don'tknow why, yeah. felicia day: she's plain,but has a great voice.

but she's-- i mean, she's not plain,she's gorgeous. but you know, not ina traditional way. bonnie burton: but shehas to be plain-- veronica belmont: no i'm-- i was going to saycumberbatch. bonnie burton: ah! veronica belmont: and maybe alittle swarthier, but i'm agreeing with chat room, becausei was about to say

that, and they weresaying that too. that was my top pick. but not in my mind at the time,only thinking about casting later. i didn't really have apicture of anyone. i had made up my own guy. almost like a johnny depp as,you know, "pirates of the caribbean," but likea little-- kiala kazebee: not drunk?

veronica belmont: lessweird and crazy. veronica belmont: if hewas like serious. bonnie burton: mayberichard armitage? you always suggesthim, don't you? bonnie burton: no, i alwayssuggest cumberbatch. felicia day: oh, ok. bonnie burton: don'tpigeonhole me. felicia day: i mean, listen. you can be pigeonholedwith cumberbun--

batch-- i mean, i would be pigeonholedwith him forever. bonnie burton: ok, i take backmy vomit crap dungeon thing. if i could have sex with him inthat dungeon, i'd do that. see? veronica belmont: well,there you go. we all have-- we allhave our limits. bonnie burton: only if i couldbe closer to the window where the straw is.

kiala kazebee: oh yeah. you can breathe. febreze it out. veronica belmont:febreze it out. bonnie burton: agh, that dungeonscene though, oy. kiala kazebee: i only read thebeginning of the alt book, but i pictured what's-his-face from"rome." or not "rome." what am i talking about,"rome?" "the tudors." veronica belmont: oh, he'sa little pretty.

veronica belmont:yeah, i pictured him more, like, swarthy. more like-- felicia day: yeah, a little bitrougher around the edges. graceling. delia on twittersays graceling. graceling was the character i'mthinking of who has the kick-ass fire swordand just awesome. she's definitely acharacter that--

she has power, let's say. it's a really good youngadult novel. veronica belmont: god, i canpicture his body perfectly. i just can't picture his face. bonnie burton: me, too. felicia day: cumberbatch? veronica belmont: no, thecharacter in the book. like they describe his body somuch, but they never really describe what hisface looks like.

felicia day: no, wellbecause-- yeah. veronica belmont: but she talksabout his muscles, and his, like, being all cutand kind of wiry. felicia day: i have to saythat romance-wise, this was a good book. felicia day: all thescenes were good. i--yeah. veronica belmont: girl. felicia day: gurrrl.

bonnie burton: notas much vomit. veronica belmont: ok. ok, we're going to wrap it up. already? veronica belmont: well,we have to talk about the next book pick. felicia day: yeah, we can talkabout the next book pick. oh, wait, we did have a questionby the pipers twins. what "vaginal fantasy" bookwould you written about

yourself, each of us. veronica belmont: what? read it again? bonnie burton: it startswith cumberbatch. felicia day: what "vaginalfantasy" book-- veronica belmont: i am not-- felicia day: writtenabout yourself. bonnie burton: ok, so actuallyi've thought about this at great length.

felicia day: wow. bonnie burton: so yeah. wait, is the question aboutall four of us? or just ourselves? felicia day: i thinkindividually. veronica belmont: i still don'tunderstand the question. bonnie burton: it's like ifyou were going to be a character, perhaps, in a"vaginal fantasy" type book, what would you wantthe story to be?

that's what i'm thinking. and mine is, because i was abig fan of the "beekeeper's apprentice," i always envisionedmyself as like an irene adler type. veronica belmont: ohh. bonnie burton: youknow what i mean? like kind of like, i am anapprentice to sherlock holmes, but i pretend i'm amaid, but i'm not. i'm like this royalty person,and i go in, and i pay mrs.

hudson off, and i hang out, thecampfire, and i read all his books-- oh my god,did felicia go away? oh there she is. felicia day: i had toplug my computer in. bonnie burton: so when i thinkabout this a great length, because i am bizarreand weird. but i just think of all thedifferent ways that i could warm sherlock's heart. so i have all this sherlockholmes slash fic with me

starring as the pluckyyoung apprentice. so i've thought aboutthis a lot. and i've also thought of abuffy-type line with me as her successor, and i hookup with xander. bonnie burton: there's lotsof xander hooking-up. felicia day: i would definitelybe transported to another world andwear dresses. and it has to be a place withmagic, where i have powers. it would have to bea fantasy world.

veronica belmont: i would bea reluc-- yeah, go ahead. finish yours. felicia day: that'sall i have. i have nothing elsemore detailed. but everybody'd have to beshowering and clean. like it can't be like-- bonnie burton: no dungeon sex. felicia day: [inaudible]dirty. veronica belmont: i wouldbe a reluctant princess.

i would be a princess that wassupposed to be, i was supposed to learn how to take care ofthe kingdom, but i was too much of a tomboy, and i wantedto go out and fight with the other boys. and my best guy friend becomeslike my love interest when i come of age. and i like realize thati actually have real feelings for him. felicia day: oh, that'sreally good.

that's a good-- you shoulddo a nanananonobra. kiala kazebee: ananananonobra. veronica belmont: i love everyyear how felicia refuses to say it right. it cracks me up. a nanananomomo. bonnie burton: i can'tsay it either. veronica belmont: nanowrimo. felicia day: a lot of peopleon the forums are doing

nananomoro. veronica belmont: menomena. kiala kazebee: ok, so mine-- veronica belmont:[sings "menomena"] felicia day: ok,kiala's going. kiala kazebee: so i would alsowant to be transported into another world where i wake upand i'm there, and i'm being set upon by bandits, andsuddenly i save myself right before somebody else saves me,because i am suddenly very

good with like a knife. because it just comes outof me in the new world. and then the place that i'm at,like the world is always cold, like the darkovernovels. so it's always cold. and then the castle or whateveris heated through the floors, like they do in "rome."and there's bathtubs, really big bathtubs. and you have sex in them.

so that's really-- this is-- i've thought aboutthis a little. felicia day: maybe you havea nananoro in you too. you need to do it. veronica belmont: we all have alittle nananamanomono in us. bonnie burton: i have a bathtubscene in my sherlock think too, so yeah. i think bathtubs play alot of parts in our--

felicia day: i mean, we allwant to just be clean. i want to be clean and warm. veronica belmont: ihave hot springs. kiala kazebee: oh, see? yes. veronica belmont: volcanichot springs. kiala kazebee: there's alwayssome kind of swimming scene. veronica, tell us what we'rereading next month. because it is your month.

veronica belmont: all right, sowe are doing sexy zombies. bonnie burton: yay! veronica belmont: i'm hoping-- i do not know the level ofromance, and hopefully it will have romance in it. i know at least our alt,hopefully, will. but the main pick is going tobe "my life as a white trash zombie," by diana rowland. felicia day: which i love herdemon series, so i'm sure this

is going to be really good. so the cover looks really fun. should i read the description? veronica belmont: or shouldwe just let people-- living with her alcoholicdeadbeat dad in the swamps of southern louisiana, she's ahigh school dropout with a pill habit and a criminal recordwho's been fired from more crap jobs thanshe can count. now on probation for a felony,it seems that angel will never

pull herself out of thedownward spiral her life has taken. that is, until the day shewakes up in the er after overdosing on painkillers. angel remembers being in ahorrible car crash, but she doesn't have a mark on her. to add to the weirdness, shereceives an anonymous letter telling her there's a jobwaiting for her at the parish morgue, and that it's an offershe doesn't dare refuse.

before she knows it, she'sdealing with a huge crush on a certain hunky deputy anda brand new addiction-- an overpowering cravingfor brains. plus, her morgue is filling upwith the victims of a serial killer who decapitateshis prey-- just when she's hungriest. angel's going to have to growup fast if she wants to keep this job and stay in one piece,because if she doesn't, she's dead meat.

literally. bonnie burton: uh, this maybe my new favorite book. felicia day: really good. veronica belmont: it does havea little bit of a sookie stackhouse vibe to it, exceptmaybe a little more raunchy. so it could be kind of fun. bonnie burton: yeah, itsounds really cool. felicia day: and then the altlooks like really fun, too. the alt one's a little morebodice-ripper-y, i think.

bonnie burton: what is it? veronica belmont: it's called"dearly departed-- gone with the respiration,book one" by lia habel. felicia day: i love the wayveronica pronounces things. veronica belmont: am ipronouncing them right? i don't even know. felicia day: no, you do,you just always sound well-rounded. veronica belmont: oh, i'musing radio voice.

that's why. felicia day: you havea good radio voice. bonnie burton: yeah,she gets paid for a living to do this stuff. felicia day: that's why ilike listening to it. veronica belmont: this is a longdescription, but just to kind of make it short, it'sanother victorian-era-style, bodice-ripper-y typeof book, i believe. but it also has to do withzombies and the undead.

and there is a brave soldier--a handsome, noble, and dead soldier. so i think that'll bea fun one, too. i'm not sure how long it is,but it had some pretty good reviews on goodreads as well. both of them do, actually, so. veronica belmont: ithink they'll be-- i think they may balanceeach other well. one's more modern, ones a littlemore, of course, the

victorian-era style thatwe've read previously. that's why i didn't make thatone the top pick, because it felt like some of the stuffwe've read in the past. and you know, sometimeswe get to the alt, sometimes we don't. but this one sounds like reallyfun for next month. veronica belmont: yeah, a littlebit different, huh? zombies. felicia day: oh, i love it.

bonnie burton: just so you know,just to get back to our last alt book, not this one butthe one before, the nina bangs dinosaur shape-shifter-- i made more puppets when i wasout sick this week for our book trailer, veronica. veronica belmont:oh, good, ok. i've been waiting for that. so i made a bunch of puppets. so i thought we could shoot abook trailer soon for what we

think the book trailer shouldbe for that book about the dinosaur shape-shifters. felicia day: i cannot wait. ok, if you can make it, we'llshow it in the hangout. bonnie burton: i'llmake it short. it won't be that long, butit'll be hilarious. veronica belmont: oh, and i haveto say one thank-you to-- i was at geek media expo thisweekend, and i met a "vaginal fantasy" listener named amandawho was awesome, and she gave

me a bottle of wine. veronica belmont:which was great. so i had to say thank you. and i'm not drinking tonightbecause i had to ship it back to myself, because icouldn't bring it in my carry-on luggage. but i will enjoy it, hopefullynext month. kiala kazebee: oh, awesome. bonnie burton: and i think alsowe should thank people

that aren't in this country thatstay up till 4:00 am-- felicia day: i know. thank you. bonnie burton: or like, theyjust get up early, like they have an alarm, just towatch this show-- thank you for watching. because that's-- we must be awesomely hilariousat 4:00 am. bonnie burton: becausei can't imagine--

veronica belmont: hopefully it'sa good way to wake up. felicia day: yeah, hi. but the cool thing is that youcan join our forums and there are people all around the world,like bonnie said, who are talking. and even if you can't make thehangouts live, you can talk to other people live on hangoutsor get together and meet them in person. so we have a great community.

so if you want to enjoy oursmutty fun times, just come over to our goodreads. vaginal fantasy hangoutforums. bonnie burton: and i promisedthis a while ago, but i'm going to bring up the threadagain on goodreads where i go through every bookand list all the pages of the sexy scenes. please do that. bonnie, [inaudible].

veronica belmont: you'rea valuable resource. treasure. bonnie burton: yeah, for thislast book we read, i'll have the two sexy-ish scenes, andthen i'll list all the pages that talk about vomit. kiala kazebee: oh, god. felicia day: ok, on thatnote, we will see you guys next month. last tuesday of the month.

bye! bonnie burton: bye! kiala kazebee: bye! veronica belmont: bye!