Friday, December 30, 2016

puppets goldilocks and the three bears

[music playing] - once upon a time in a kingdom by the sea. there lived a little princess named lenore one day lenore fell ill and took to her bed. the royal physician came to see her. took her temperature, felt her pulse, and made her stick out her tongue. the royal physician was worried. he sentfor the king, lenore's father, and the king came to see her. - oh...daddy....oh - my little girl, my poor little princess!

- i'm sick - well royal physician, what is the ailment? - your majesty it grieves me to report that the princess's miserably ill from a serving of raspberry tarts. there is little that can help her. good day. - darling, i would give you anything your heart desires. if only it would make you well again. is there anything that your heart desires? - yes daddy! i want the moon. if i can have the moon, i will be well again.

[music starts to play] - there are so many songs about so many moons rivers and dreamers and lovers and junes mystical lyrics and magical tunes yet none of them written by me for below me tonight, there's a beautiful sight a curious child and oh how she listens the moon has a song for you if you looked down from heaven you'd see what i see

princess - oh my father is the sweetest of kings diamonds, and stardust, and white fairy wings. mystical treasures and magical things. yet none of them was thought of by me for above me tonight, there's a beautiful sight. that is out of my heart and oh how it glistens please get the moon for me

if you looked out my window you'd see what i see please get the moon for me daddy please get the moon for me - now the king had a great many wise men who always got for him anything he wanted, so he told his daughter that she couldhave the moon. then he went to the throne room and pulled a bell cord, three long pulls and a short pull,

[bell rings] and presently the lord high chamberlaincame into the room. the lord high chamberlain was a largeman who wore thick glasses which made hiseyes seem twice as big as they really were. this made the lord highchamberlain seem twice as wise as he really was. - yes your majesty? - i want you to get the moon. the princess lenore wants the moon. if she can have the moon, she will be well again. - the.....the.....moon?

- yes, the moon. moon moon get it tonight tomorrow at the latest. - i have got a great many things for youin my time your majesty. it just happens that i have with me alist of the things i have got for you in my time. ah let me see now.. i've got ivory, apes, also peacocks for you, rubies, and opales and emerald jewels black orchids, pink elephants, blue poodles of few gold bugs, scarabs...- i...i don't remember any blue poodles. - it says blue poodles right here on thelist, and they are checked off with a littlecheck mark,

so there must have been blue poodles. you just forget. - never mind the bluepoodles what i want now is the moon. - oh of course your majesty. as i was saying, gold bugs, scarabs, flies and amerlite glue hummingbirds, beetles, feathers at dawn. boxes and boxes of unicorns horns. giants and midgets and mermaids galore. frankincense, auberge troubadours, dancers, and mystics of europe a pound of butter, two dozen eggs, and a sack of sug... oh....wait, no wait.

forgive me, my wife wrote that in there. - why that was the only part that made sense. - i have sent as far as summercaned and arabe and zanzabar to get things for you your majesty. but the moon is out of the question. - out of the question?! why? - it is thirty five thousand miles away and it is bigger than the room the princess lies in. furthermore, it is made of molten copper. i cannot get the moon for you. blue poodles, yes. the moon, no.

- then what is the good of keeping you here in my palace? you are a bunderbust! and a numb skull! lord high chamberlain indeed. leave the room! out of my sight! oh and send the royal wizard to the throne room. goodness, gracious, mercy sakes. if i weren't king, nothing would be accomplished in this kingdom. all i wanted was the moon. - the royal wizard was a little, thin, man with a long face. he wore a high peaked hat covered with silver stars and a long blue robe covered with golden owls.

his face grew very pale when the king told him that he wanted the moon for his little daughter and that he expected the royal wizard toget it. - you called for me your majesty? - oh yes, yes. i want you to get the moon. the princess lenore is ill. if she can have the moon, she will getwell again. - the moon? - yes, the moon. i expect you to get it forme without fail tonight. - i have worked a great deal of magic for you in my time your majesty. as a matter fact, i i just happened to have in my pocketlist of the wizardry i have performed for you.

it begins, dear royal wizard, i am returning to you herewith this so called philosopher stone which you claimed..oh, but wait... no, no that isn't it. here it is, i've squeezed blood out of turnips and much more for you. turnips from blood and some other tricks too. i've conjured up flowers and doves from thin air. and nowhere from flowers and doves to nowhere. divining rods, magic wands, crystals. builders and unguents and potions.

to cure heartbreak and suffering and ringing of ears. wolfbang and night shade and bald eagle's tears to ward off all witches and demons and fears. an invisible cloak to make youdisappear and seven league boots and a gold midus touch. - it didn't work. the cloak of invisibility didn't work. - yes it did. - no it didn't. i kept bumping into thingsthe same as ever. - the cloak is supposed to make youinvisible. it is not supposed to keep you from bumping into things. - all i know is i kept bumping into things. - yes, well as i was saying,

i have captured a pair of rare horns from the elf-land and greatest of all was the sand from the sandman sharp needles and thread and a lump of beeswax ... oh, so sorry. my mistake. aha, those are things my wife wrote down for me to get for her. - what i want you to do now is to get me the moon. the princess lenore wants the moon and when she gets it, she will be well again. - nobody can get the moon. it is 150,000 miles away and it's made of green cheese, and it is twice as big as this palace.

- then leave the throne room. you 're a wheedling old wizard and not worth a whale bone. don't stand there staring at me! scoot! go on, scoot! what's the matter with this kingdom? nobody is willing to do a thing. you would think i had asked for the whole world instead of just a measly old moon! perhaps the royal mathematician will have a sensible solution. - the king rang a gong and summoned the royal mathematician. the royal mathematician was abald-headed, nearsighted man, who wore a black suit with white numbers on it. - yes, your majesty.

- now, i don't want to hear a long list of all the things you have figured out for me since 1907. i want you to figure out right now how to get the moon for the princess lenore. when she gets the moon she would be wellagain - i am glad you mentioned all these thingsi have figured out for you since 1907 it so happens that i have a list themwith me i have figured the distance from a and to z the horns of dilemma were measured by me the miles between night and the end of a day how far up is up and the length of away

just where is gone and the price of today how long a sea serpent and if so, then where? the size of a hippo, then what is it's square at sixes and sevens and how far they are? how much is is is to make one complete are how many birds caught in the ocean of salt if 187 million, 746 thousand, 132 birds but not one is my fault - there aren't that many birds.

- i didn't say there were. i said if there were. - i don't want to hear about seven hundred million imaginary birds. i want you to get the moon for the princess lenore. - the moon is 300,000 miles away. it is round and flat like a coin, only it is made of asbestos, and it is half the size of this kingdom. furthermore, it is pasted on thesky. nobody can get the moon. - then get out of the throne room. get out! get out! get out!

no king ever had to put up with such confoundedly dim-witted wise men. how absolutely devastating! what am i going to do? hmm ... let's see now .. oh, perhaps the court jester will have an idea. [bell rings] - then he rang for the court jester. the jester came into the throne roomin his motley and his cap and bells, and sat at the foot of the throne. [lute playing]

- what can i do for you, your majesty? - nobody can do anything for me. the princess lenore wants the moon and she cannot be well till she gets it, but nobody can get it for her. every time i ask anybody for the moon, it gets larger and farther away. there is nothing you can do for me exceptplay on your lute ... something sad. - how big do they say the moon is, and how far away? - the lord high chamberlain says it is 35,000 miles away and bigger than the princess lenore's room. the royal wizard says it is 150,000 miles away and twice as big as this palace. the royal mathematician says it is 300,000 miles away and half the size of this kingdom.

- they are all wise men, so they must all be right. if they are all right, then the moon must be just as large and as far away as each person thinks it is. the thing to do is find out how big the princess lenore thinks it is, and how far away. - i never thought of that. - i will go and ask her, your majesty, if you wish. - yes! yes! please do talk to the princess! - hello! i'm awake. and i'm glad to see you, court jester. have you brought the moon to me? - not yet, but i will get it for you right away. tell me, princess, how big do you think it is?

- oh, it is just a little smaller than my thumbnail, for when i hold my thumbnail up at the moon, it just covers it. - and how far away is it, princess? - it is not as high as the big tree outside my window, for it sometimes it gets caught in the top branches. - yes, princess! it will be very easy to get the moon for you. - i will climb the tree tonight when it gets caught in the top branches, and bring it to you. and, by the way, princess, what is the moon made of? - oh! it's made of gold, of course, silly! - hahaha...yes, i should have known.

now close your pretty eyes and try to sleep while i strum a tune on my lute. (lute playing) your majesty, i had the royal goldsmith make a tiny round golden moon, just a little smaller than the thumbnail of princess lenore. and he strung it on a golden chain so the princess could wear it around her neck. - excellent, my good man! excellent! come, let me see it. - i have already given it to the princess early this morning and she was overjoyed!

come, look out the window and see her at play in the gardens below. - one, two, three, o'leary, leary, leary. four, five, six, o'leary, leary, leary ... - wonderful! simply wonderful! the princess is well again and my heart islight. oh come, good jester, play a happy tune on your lute. no! wait, jester! wait! my worries are not yet over. oh dear, dear, dear, dear, dear! the moon will shine in the sky again tonight and the princess lenore will see it . when she does, she will know that the moon on the chain around her neck is not the real moon.

quickly, jester, call the wise men. summon the lord high chamberlain. have him report immediately to the throne room. i should have known this was too easy. how foolish to think that a mere jester could solve so weighty a problem. ah! the lord high chamberlain! we must keep the princess lenore from seeing the moon when it shines in the sky tonight. think of something! - oh yes, your majesty. i know just the thing! we can make some dark glasses for the princess lenore.

we can make them so dark that she willnot be able to see anything at all through them. then she will not be able to see the moonwhen it shines in the sky. - no, no, no! if she wore dark glasses, she would bump into things, and then she would be ill again. have you no better idea? - i . .. i could give the matter considerable thought and, and then report back to you. but no ... no, i have nothing else to suggest at the moment. - oaf! a fine help you are. don't bother! just hurry and summon the royal wizard to my aid.

- yes, your majesty. indeed, your majesty. right away. - what this kingdom needs is fresh blood in the intelligence department. i'll post a notice tomorrow announcing try-outs for new wise men. where is that wizard?! - the lord high chamberlain claimed you desired my services. what can i do for you, your majesty? - we must hide the moon so that the princess lenore will not see it when it shines in the sky tonight. how are we going to do that? - um-er-well-ah - - -ah, let's see - - - um-m-m - - - tsk!

i know what we can do! we can stretch some black velvet curtains on poles. the curtains will cover all the palace gardens like a circus tent, and the princess lenore will, will, will not be able to see through them, so she will not see the moon in the sky. - no, no, no! black velvet curtains would keep out the air. the princess lenore would not be able to breathe, and she would be ill again. your idea is no good good at all. please, leave the throne room immediately!

get out of my sight! and, and-ah, summon the royal mathematician to my aid. - yes, your majesty. yes, your majesty. yes, yet, yes, yes your majesty. - fine state of affairs. i've asked the lord high chamberlain, i've listened to the royal wizard; and now my last hope is the royal mathematician. the life of a king is a life of trial, indeed. - you called for me, your majesty? - yes! yes! we must do something so that the princess lenore will not see the moon when it shines in the sky tonight. if you know so much, figure out a way to do that.

- mercy! um-m . .. um-m . .. yes, your majesty, i think i might help youthis time. um-m, let me try walking in a circle to see if i can round out an idea. well that didn't work out very successfully. perhaps walking in a square will clear mythoughts. i have it! we can set off fireworks in the gardens every night. we will make a lot of silver fountains and golden cascades, and when they go off, they will fill the sky with so many sparks that it will be as light as day

and the princess lenore will not be able to see the moon. - no! no, no, no, no, no! what a perfectly ridiculous idea. fireworks would keep the princess lenore awake. she would not get any sleep at all, and she would be ill again. oh, go away! go away and stay away before i make you eat your mathematics and every single number on your suit. - oh, dear! oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear! can no one help me? certainly somewhere in this kingdom there must exist a man wise enough to know the answer.

the day is already ending! the moon is peeping over the horizon. it is too late. - what can i do for you, your majesty? - nobody can do anything for me. the moon is coming up again. it willshine in the princess lenore's bedroom, and she will know it is still in the sky and that she does not wear it on a golden chain around her neck. play me something on your lute .. . something very sad, for when the princess sees the moon she will be ill again. - what do your wise men say?

- they can think of no way to hide the moon that will not make the princess lenore ill. - your wise men know everything and if they cannot hide the moon, then itcannot be hidden. - look! the moon already is shining into the princess lenore's bedroom. who can explain how the moon can be shining in the sky when it is hangingon a golden chain around her neck? - who could explain how to get the moon when your wise men said it was too large and too far away?

it was the princess lenore. therefore, the princess lenore iswiser than your wise men and knows more about the moon than they do. so i will ask her. - the princess was lying in bed, but she was wide awake and she was looking out the window at the moon shining in the sky. shining in her hand was the moon the moon the court jester had got for her. he looked very sad and there seemed to be tears in his eyes. - oh, hello, jester. that's alright!

i'm still awake. see! the moon isshining in my window. he is looking at the little golden moon in my hand. - tell me, princess lenore, how can the moon be shining in the sky when it is hanging on a golden chain around your neck? - that's easy, silly! when i lose a tooth, a new one grows in its place, doesn't it? - of course, princess. - and when the unicorn loses his horn in the forest, a new one grows in the middle of his forehead.

- that is right. - and when the royal gardener cuts the flowers in the garden, other flowers come to take their place. - i should have thought of that, for it is the same way with the daylight. - and it is the same way with the moon. i guess it is the same way with everything. - the moon has a song for you if you stood where i'm standing, you'd see what i see

the moon has a song for you princess - the court jester saw that she was asleep. gently he tucked the covers in around the sleeping princess. but before he left the room, he went over to the window and winked at the moon, for it seemed to the court jester that the moon had winked at him. the end

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