Saturday, December 17, 2016

puppets gender

felicia: hello, everybody. i think that we are live now. [laughter] felicia: felicia day, here. hello geek and sundryaudience. a lot of you might bepuzzled right now. felicia: what do youthink, ladies? are they going to be puzzled? veronica: a little bit.

a little bit puzzled. yeah. felicia: this is vaginalfantasy hangout. it is a paranormal or romancebook club that i have been doing for, like, thepast seven months on my personal channel. and as part of our hangouts ontuesday nights, i moved it to this channel. so lots of guys andgirls participate.

we read a book a month, andthen we discuss the book. and then on the forums everyonediscusses the main book and the alt. and that's pretty much it. the cool thing aboutit is i have awesome hosts, my friends. and i will introducethem one by one. bonnie burton is here. bonnie: hello.

i also have jabba thehut behind me. felicia: he's your plus one? bonnie: yes, my dog is passedout on the floor. he's usually in the spotjabba the hut is. and there's a tardisin there somewhere. felicia: yeah, over there. you've really set decoratedvery well this month. bonnie: i try. and i have new hair.

felicia: yes, very cute. bonnie: well, i cut it. i didn't steal itfrom someone. felicia: and then we havekaila "cas-bee." kiala: hello. felicia: did i do thatright, kaila? kiala: no. no, it's "cays-bee." [laughter]

kiala: i'm just going to haveit legally changed to "cas-bee," because thatis how you say. and that's more important. felicia: i've known you foryears, and i have yet to pronounce your lastname right. i'm not even kidding. this is so embarrassing. and then we also haveveronica belmont. veronica: hello.

felicia: as our fourthvaginal fantasy host. veronica: my name starts withv, so i'm at the very end. felicia: well but you'revery important. veronica: as per the googlehangout rules. felicia: we all have verysmooth, awesome hair today. and by the way, i just wantto, before we get int the book, and kind of getting intoactually why this hangout exists, i got here fromthe guild set. and i'm in the geekand sundry office.

you can see the originaltabletop logo here. and i was filming theguild season six. it's our last day filming,actually. veronica: woohoo. felicia: i know. 16 days-- longest season ever. but i had this crazyhair thing, and i didn't have a comb. so i got a fork out.

kiala: oh my god. like ariel. bonnie: you're so redneck. veronica: amazing. felicia: but then, i'm doingthis in the test hangout, right, and bonnie-- and i'mlike, bonnie, i'm combing my hair with a fork. bonnie, i'm combing myhair with a fork. and what did you say, bonnie?

bonnie: i said, that'snothing. we've all been there. i've used sporks before. i've used chopsticks. i've used, like, those spoonsyou use for pasta. you know those strainy spoons? veronica: a strainy spoon? bonnie: strain, like a pasta-- veronica: oh, like a, ok.

bonnie: pasta. veronica: we all have todo this motion, now. kiala: the claw thing. bonnie: i don't know. i've done some pretty bad thingsto my hair, though. i've ironed my hair. so i don't if you should listento me talking about utensils and hair products. felicia: but, kiala andveronica, have you ever combed

your hair with a fork? veronica: can't saythat i have. toothbrush, yes. felicia: thank you. kiala: i'm sure that i wouldif i was drinking. because that's what i'll do. felicia: ok. so i wasn't in the minoritythat saying i was never-- i mean, i've done it now.

so-- bonnie: i think youprefer it now. you've done it multiple times. is that a used fork? do you have bacon bitsin your hair now? felicia: it was an officefork, so, you know. it's a geek and sundrymouth fork. veronica: it adds some nicevolume, i must say. kiala: it does.

felicia: it's almost likethis is pro tip 101. it's like last month veronicadid this thing where she put a sock on her head and rolled. veronica: oh, i've got a newcontraption for that. kiala: oh, you did? veronica: it wason the website. and they have like a metal, softkind of metal covered-- like a foamy metal bendy thingthat you can twist around your hair and it does the sock bun.

but without a sock. kiala: what's it called? veronica: it's supposedto be easier. i don't remember. it was on bonnie: is it the bump? veronica: this is not buzzmarketing, i just don't remember what it's called. bonnie: is it the hair bump,or whatever they call--

the bumpit? veronica: it's kindof like a bumpit. felicia: it's not a bump it. veronica: it's $12, so i waslike, well, that's like a good pair of socks. that's about right. kiala: i just found my sockbun in my purse today. because i changed bags, andi found it in there. and i thought of you.

veronica: well the good thingabout a sock bun is that you can always have new sock bunsas long as you have socks. bonnie: i'm so lost onthis discussion. the only thing i use socks forare for my feet or puppets. and if guys are watching this,i'm sure they use socks for other stuff, too that-- felicia: oh, bonnie. [interposing voices] bonnie: i had to throwsomething in

for the guys watching. so they could go, yeah,what bonnie said. this month-- that was the worst segue ever. so for people who are new,this book club, we read a romance book club. usually they're a genre book. and this month we read illwind, by rachel caine. bonnie: which, by the way soundslike a name for beano.

veronica: yeah, it's a prettygas inducing title. kiala: yeah. bonnie: and, what the heck? there's no abs on the cover. kiala: not a single ab. felicia: i thinkthat about it. it's not embarrassing. it's a good cover. bonnie: it looks like an adfor, like, girl viagra.

veronica: it looks likethis sisterhood of the traveling vaginas. felicia: what? bonnie: if you just look at thepicture, it almost looks like a wizard of oz kind ofthing, with the lightning, and the old farmhouse,and the girl. felicia: how is that not good? because this is actually oneof the first series i ever read in the genre.

and it was because of the nonoff-putting, crazy ab flexing and oiled limbs. bonnie: but that's the bestpart of books that we're reading, is making fun of thecovers that have the fabio wannabe guys on it. well you have yourpick next month. bonnie: oh, yeah. felicia: which we willget to, guys. you're going--

veronica: you betterbelieve it. this is going to bevery exciting. felicia: oh gosh. ok. so let's talk aboutthe book a little. bonnie: hey, by the way, i thinkwe should, as tradition, talk about what we'redrinking. felicia: ok, yeah. let's talk about what we'redrinking first.

bonnie: i themed out my drinkbased on what we're reading. felicia: what are youdrinking, bonnie? bonnie: so i'm drinking-- well i'm drinking out of mytentacle glass, which is for a preview for next week. but this is a hint ofwhat i'm drinking-- with a little [inaudible]eyes there. kiala: ooh. bonnie: sapphire--

i put googly eyes on all myliquor bottles so i never drink alone. felicia: yeah. bonnie: ha. but i made a djinn and tonic. veronica: oh my god. that's amazing. that is amazing. why didn't you tell me that?

i would have donethe same thing. i'm really bummed out now. bonnie: yeah, every time theymention that i'm like, oh. i took a drink. veronica: oh! i caught a fruit flyin my hand for the first time in my life. that was amazing. kiala: how?

veronica: i was like, ninja-edthat right out of the air. kiala: karate kid-ed it. veronica: yeah. bonnie: go bruce lee. veronica: sorry, i digress. felicia: what were you drinkingthat enhanced your senses so much? veronica: you know, red wine. because that's what it reallyis best known for.

and you're best knownfor red wine. veronica: someone in the chatroom just said i'm like a really gross ninja. kiala: what? veronica: i don't know if that'sgross because i killed the bug with my hand,or if i'm gross just because i'm nasty. felicia: well-- veronica: i'll take either.

felicia: who knows. veronica: you never know. felicia: i don't evenwant to go into it. some of the things you see onyoutube are some of the most demoralizing thingsyou've ever seen. but it's cool, because we haveself-confidence inside. kiala-- bonnie: and liquor. felicia: what areyou drinking?

kiala: i'm drinking red wine. felicia: oh, ok. kiala: yeah, i just,i went classic. felicia: i'm drinkingwater and green tea. because i have to drive backto set to finish the season after we finish this. bonnie: of the guild? felicia: of the guildseason six. it's literally-- they're filmingwithout me for the

first time ever. but i was like, i can't missmy first geek and sundry vaginal fantasy. [sigh] it's ok. bonnie: i did bring my wineglass that's as big as my head, just in case. i do have wine. kiala: nice.

bonnie: because i knew icouldn't just do djinn. i had to do the dessert wine. and the tonic. felicia: it actually matchesyour head more with your new haircut. bonnie: i know, right? you look like louise brooks. bonnie: we're like twins. felicia: ok, i'm going to readthe description of the book,

in case you haven't read thebook, ill wind, which is not a fart metaphor. the description of the book--there's nine books in the series, we read the firstone in the theories. and the description is joannebaldwin is a weather warden. usually all it takes is a waveof her hand to tame the most violent weather. but now she's trying to outrunanother kind of storm-- accusations of corruptionand murder.

so she's running for her life. let's go down and talk aboutwhat we liked about the book. i want to go with veronicafirst, because she always complains when i go last. veronica: oh. i'm sorry. i did not love this book. this is not one ofmy favorites. felicia: [gasp]

veronica: i'm sorry. i knew you were goingto take this hard. felicia: no, it's ok. veronica: it was just, it felta little trite to me. i feel like it's kind oftrite to say trite. but it was. i just never felt like it wentanywhere, like i just felt-- maybe that was the mood she wastrying to convey was this constant keep moving, gotta keepgoing to the next thing.

gotta keep findingmy safe place. and so you have that feelingof unrest throughout the entire book, which maybe wassuccessful for what she was intending to do. but i never liked joanne. i just never feltany kind of-- i don't know. she kind of had a-- what's her face from, crap,i'm forgetting her name--

sookie. she kind of a sookie vibeto her, in a way. felicia: sookie? really? because sookie's sucha dumb butt. veronica: sookie isnot a dumb butt. she's not. felicia: sookie isa dumb butt. veronica: she is nota dumb butt, ok.

she's smart. felicia: whoa. smack down. veronica: what. bonnie: i wouln'tcall her smart. veronica: she's not smart, butshe's got an awareness of herself, and of her bodytype, and who she is. and she's kind of like,doesn't take any crap vibe to her.

so i felt like thatwas kind of a-- oh, irc, i'm talking about booksookie, not tv sookie. all: oh. bonnie: it's important. felicia: book sookie is stillnot a very bright-- that's the wholepoint, though. sookie to me is kind ofbuffy-ish, in that she's a little-- like originalbuffy-ish-- in that she's kind ofa bimbo and that's

the trope that she-- felicia: and then she getsdeeper as we go along. veronica: i had some issues-- bonnie: something gets deeper. veronica: there were a lot ofreally bad weather metaphors that i think actually saved ontomy kindle, that i can't unfortunately accessright now. so that was pretty funny. but otherwise, i justnever felt like

it really went anywhere. i wish i had felt more ofa sense of the storyline progressing. and stuff happened, for sure. but i just didn't-- i didn't relate to her at all,so i couldn't get behind her. we'll go back to the charactersand the world and everything. but this is just our overview.

kiala, what did you think? kiala: i was nnn about it. kiala: meh. it felt like one long road trip,but not in a great way. in a kind of boring, and thenthey went to the outlet mall. i think i also go stuck on-- it's david, right? felicia: david. kiala: his glasses, yeah.

his round glasses. they-- am i frozen? i feel like i'm frozen. all: no, you're good. kiala: ok. but on his round glasses, theykind of freaked me out, like benjamin linus from lost. i kept picturing him as benjaminlinus from lost, and

that's not sexy. bonnie: not harry potter? and that's also not sexy. bonnie: john denver? veronica: there was kindof a rapist vibe there, wasn't there? little bit? kiala: little rapey, yeah. felicia: really?

felicia: you thoughtdavid was rapey? veronica: in the beginning. in the beginning. kiala: at the beginning, yeah. i just couldn't getthat into it. that's legitimate. i mean, this is a book club. we all have differenceof opinion. i will go next.

i really like this series,obviously. i picked it. it was one of my first series. and in re-reading it, iunderstand a little bit more-- i understand where youguys are coming from. because really you have to readthe first three together in order to really getthe world building. it definitely-- the challenge in this genre, ofurban fantasy slash romance

is that there are somegreat series. and i am so far deep into theseseries, like book 7, 8, 13, sometimes, that i'm soattached to the characters that i forget that sometimesthey don't start out where they get to in the middle. do you know what i'm saying? so for me, some of the thingsthat happen in the subsequent books develop the relationshipin a deeper way than what i remember the first oneonly representing.

so i feel like, if you likethe world and you like the characters, definitely investingmore time in them, it's going to pay off. because it goes reallyinteresting places. i loved the fact that it was notyour normal vampire thing. god love vampires, but it'slike, what is new about a vampire, a sexy vampire, ever? so how many other kinds of magicdo we actually see ever? and that's what attracted meto the series, that people,

the secret society, actuallycontrols the weather to mitigate some of theworst things. like that's the most interestingpart of the book. and i really liked david. i don't agree thathe was rapey. veronica: ok, mayberapey was much. he's a little murdery. felicia: well, but otherpeople had this-- we'll go over it when wego to the characters.

but i personally reallyloved that character. and it gets betterin subsequent books, which i say often. but when you're dealing withseries a lot, that's it. and obviously we should probablypick some stand alones coming up, justso i can't say this-- in future series therelationship develops. but i liked it becausei picked it. so, bonnie?

bonnie: um. yeah, ok. so i originally got excited byit, because my favorite x-men character was storm. so i thought, oh, it's goingto be like storm, where we find out where storm-type peoplegot their super powers, and all that stuff. and all i kept thinking of wheni was reading it was, is she going to tell uswhat happened with

big bad bob, or whatever? because it felt like an insidejoke she wasn't letting us in on until forever. so it was just like one of thosefriends-- you know how you have one of those friendswho had something exciting happen to them, but they wantto string you along for as long as possible, because theyhave your attention. and they don't tell you whatactually happened. and then when you find out whatactually happened, you're

like yeah, i thought that'sprobably what happened. felicia: mm. bonnie: so throughout the booki was just, like, quit alluding to the fact thatsomething bad happened. just tell us. i'm all for stories thatare not linear. i get that. i mean, hello. i don't care abouttime that much.

but i was just like, justtell us what happened. it's bad. i know it's bad. it's going to be really bad. but just freaking tell us. don't allude to what happened. bonnie: stories where somethingreally horrible happened to the main character,and the people that probably could help her, shedoesn't tell the truth.

she just doesn't tell. because it's so horrible. but then she tellsdavid everything. and i'm like, why did she-- ugh, anyway. i found myself-- this is the first time a book'smade me want to throw it across the room ina really long time. veronica: throw it acrossthe room, huh?

bonnie: i hated hercharacter so much. she's really-- so before we get into thecharacters, i think this is really interesting, actually. let's just, people in theforums, because we interact a lot in good reads, and we havea lot of local meet-up groups who do their own googlehangouts, and also meet up in person. and i'll go over thatat the end.

but jack, on the forums,liked it. he thought that the series wassimilar to chicagoland vampires and the darkswan series. bonnie: oh. felicia: and then-- yeah, which i love the darkswan series as well. and then corina, it was my firstvaginal fantasy book. and it was a winner. and she bought all eightother books.

bonnie: holy crap. veronica: nice. so a lot of people commentedthat it does get really good in the second and third book. that was a very common commenton the [inaudible]. bonnie: i'm willing to givethe series another chance. because we've done that before,where i'm like, oh, i didn't really like themain characters. and you're like, well, the side

characters have real stories. so i get what you're saying. and i don't want tojudge too harshly. because it's really hardto write fiction. and i don't know if the authoris watching this. but bravo for justwriting a series. good for you, and i'm gladthat we read this. because you have to reada bunch of other stuff. and i've been burnt outon vampires anyways.

so i'm glad we did somethingdifferent. but-- felicia: vampiresare killing me. i just read, like, five booksthis month with vampires, trying to find an interestingvampire book that does it in a new way. and i'm just like-- bonnie: i mean, there's somegood series out there-- veronica: (in british accent)oh, but my sweet buttercup,

surely you can't be talkingabout lord appadama. bonnie: there are some goodseries out there. but i'm going throughzombie overdose too. and i'm just like, zombiesand vampires and werewolves, yeah, whatever. felicia: i'm so over them. bonnie: i need other stuff. so i'm glad that we read this. and i probably willgive another

book a chance in series. but as i was reading this, ithink maybe, too, the books that we read before, this lastmonth, were so period piece. they were so historicallywritten in that kind of way. so as soon as we get to thisbook, it was kind of jarring. because it felt verysam spade wannabe. i felt like she was writingit like a old school detective novel. there's a lot of cliches thatwere written in there.

and so that's old school mysterywriting 101, which works in that genre, but as iwas reading it, i was like, oh, please don't dothat metaphor. please don't do that metaphor. i was getting annoyed with it. and then just the fact of howshe treated her friends. we'll get into it, but-- bonnie: the book mademe frustrated. and i had to readit on a subway.

because i have a new job, soi'm doing public transit. and i think i just would angrilyyell at the book, and people would moveaway from me. felicia: well it gave youspace on the subway. what did you-- so before we get to thecharacters, which i think are the things to talk about most--what did you think of the world building, though? just as far as the device,the weather in general.

because i-- true story, my grandmothernever turned off the weather channel. veronica: was a weatherwarden? felicia: she had a tv on-- bonnie: i wanted youto say that, too. i wanted you to saythat your-- felicia: wait, what? bonnie: grandmother wasa weather warden.

felicia: my grandmother couldcontrol the weather. no. my grandmother, but she could,i swear, i think she has a tv on all the time with theweather channel on it. i don't think she's everturned the tv off. bonnie: what is itwith the elderly and the weather channel? veronica: the weather isreally interesting. felicia: why is it interesting?

it's not. veronica: it is superinteresting. felicia: why? veronica: why? it's like the coolest sciencecrap out there. i can't say the s-word. bonnie: ok, we'lldo a quick poll. veronica: it's so cool. bonnie: let's do a poll.

who here in the group has livedsomewhere where there was a lot of weather turmoil,like massive storms, massive disasters, that mother-- and earthquake doesn't count. well-- not disasters. kiala: earthquakes-- veronica: that's not weather. that's not weather.

kiala: yeah, but portland,we love to watch the weather here. because, one, wenever get sun. so we're excited about that. and then we like to complainabout it when we do get it. and then we look forsnow every year. and we get super excitedabout the chance to complain about snow. and the whole city will shutdown if it snows once.

bonnie: really? kiala: oh yeah, thewhole city. bonnie: because i thought itsnowed there quite a bit. kiala: oh no. like once a year, and theneverything shuts down. it's snow day for everybody. they're like i don'tknow what to do. and it's like an inch of snow. felicia: but that's thesame thing with la.

if it drizzles, it's likeeverybody's at a stand still. i mean it is so scary. veronica: we don't have weatherin san francisco. it's either fog or not fog. felicia: yeah, it's alwayscold up there. i don't know how youlive up there. bonnie: it is awesome. it's perpetual twilight. i never [inaudible]

being sunburned. veronica: our fog has a name. bonnie: what? bonnie: karl. veronica: karl. bonnie: he has hisown twitter feed. kiala: wait, what? wait, what? veronica: karl with a k. karlthe fog, is the name of the

san francisco fog. bonnie: you can followhim on twitter. veronica: he's amazing. bonnie: i talk to himall the time. we're like twitter buddies. veronica: yeah, i talkto him, too. felicia: why would you-- who named the fog? who decided to name the fog?

our local weather wardens. kiala: was it gavin? did gavin newsom? bonnie: oh, please. gavin didn't do anythingthat useful. no politics. bonnie: the reason ibrought this up was i grew up in kansas. and so we had massivestorms all the time.

we had flooding and tornadoes,and a ton of stuff. and so to me, major weatherstorms were just part of course. and that was just somethingwe grew up with. so watching the weather channelnever interested me. but my dad, and my step-mom, andmy grandfather, they all loved watching it. and i still to this day, i don'tknow if it's like you get to a certain age, and thenall of a sudden your weather

channel thing ticks on. and then all of a sudden you're addicted to weather channel. felicia: is it menopausal? is it the change withthe ladies? is it a lady change thing? veronica: weatherpausal? felicia: weatherpausal. [laughing]

bonnie: and i dateda storm chaser. does that make a difference? [inaudible] bonnie: [inaudible]storm chaser. veronica: that's cool. bonnie: those guysare crazy, crazy. felicia: that's why i like la,though, because i actually feel imposed upon whenthe weather is not just 75 and sunny.

i want to just wear a mild,light sweater constantly. i don't want to ever haveany complications. i don't want it to interfere. veronica: heat makesme really upset. felicia: heat. well, we were just shootingthe guild in 122 degrees. it was a heat wave here. i was angry. we're outside shootingfor days, and

we're all just miserable. kiala: that's what happenedwhen i was on the guild. it was a million degreesoutside. veronica: wait, am ithe only one who hasn't been on the guild? all: yes. felicia: yeah, you are,actually, veronica. if fans can spot kiala, cananybody in chat actually name the season that kiala appearedas an extra?

bonnie: i didn'teven know that. i'm going to look backand find out. veronica: i'm mad now. bonnie: i'm really easy to spotin my cameo because i'm wearing giant yoda ears. kiala: oh. i don't have any linesor anything. felicia: it was before iactually knew you very well. so i gave you a reallycrappy part.

it was still awesome. i got to be right up atthe front of the line. it was awesome. it was amazing. i would have been toointimidated to have lines. felicia: veronica. veronica: i'm making ok facein my heart right now. all: aw. felicia: i'm sorry.

veronica: ant. felicia: i mean, you havea show on my channel. you do have a showon my channel. bonnie: now we all do. felicia: that's true. you have two. veronica, by the way, if you area new viewer, she is the co-host and creator of swordand laser, which reviews seriouser books, sci-fiand fantasy

books and it's awesome. veronica: seriously, thoughwhy are there so many bugs in my office? kiala: why are thereso many bugs? veronica: i don't keepany food here. felicia: do you havea corpse in there? veronica: i don't know. bonnie: what kindof fly is it? i can tell you if you havea corpse, depending on

what kind of fly. veronica: it doesn'tsmell corpse-y. kiala: why can you tellthat, bonnie? bonnie: because i have forensic entomology flash cards-- kiala: really? bonnie: that i lookat when i'm bored. and so now i know which fliesshow up when you're dead. bonnie: blue bottle isone of the flies.

so if any of you are brutallymurdered and left in a park, i can tell when you were deadbased on the insects. veronica: that's a skill. kiala: that's good to know. felicia: wait-- if i were dead for aweek, what insect would be in my brain? bonnie: oh, god, no you'dhave maggots and stuff. you'd have all kinds of stuff.

it wouldn't evenjust be flies. you'd be like a sizzlerfor bugs. you'd be like the golden corralof insect buffets at that point. because a week, that'stoo long. and it depends insideor outside. felicia: i really don'tlike maggots. bonnie: and, the smell alonewould bring in a bunch of other-- they bringin critters.

so if it's outside, you'dhave rats and stuff. felicia: huh, no. veronica: i don'thave rats yet. must not be a corpse. felicia: see, that's why i can'tget into zombie stuff. because i'm a veryclean person. bonnie: oh, the smell? felicia: and the idea that ofany rotting limbs or skin exfoliation--

i don't even like to wear-- veronica: are you insinuatingthat i'm not a clean person because i have lots offlies in my office? felicia: i'm not judging you. bonnie: veronica, we are dirtyin the best way possible. because we love zombies. bonnie: i think the internetwould agree with us, that we're dirty. veronica: maybe i'm a zombieand i don't even know it.

and this is how i'mfiguring it out. felicia: you're dead,veronica. you're dead. bonnie: no. felicia: icfan03 thinks kialais in season three. kiala: i don't even know. felicia: that is correct. kiala: [inaudible] felicia: you don't know?

kiala: i know! felicia: it's true. kiala was in the game stop,which was episode one of season three. kiala: yep. felicia: that guy should get aprize, or something, maybe. felicia: ok, forget it. what season was bonniein, guys? and what episode?

another non-prize willgo out for that one. let's get back to our book. bonnie: oh, right. we have a book club. a lot-- let's talk about the characters,because this is very interesting to me, thatjoanne was so not liked. and i actually read thosecomments before i re-read the book.

and i find it fascinating thatpeople don't like her. and i would like to see whyyou guys don't like her. veronica: i already kindof explained that. i mean, to me, i think,because-- what i really get tired of inurban fantasy lately-- because i read so many of them, soi have a different work perspective-- is that the girl always hasself-confidence issues and thinks she's not attractive.

and then this hot, usuallyvampire, guy picks up on her and makes her feel like themost precious thing ever. and i like the fact that thischaracter unashamedly had a lot of confidence in herself,and she looked good. and-- bonnie: uh. veronica: ugh, the tracksuit. bonnie: that tracksuit,that purple-- veronica: what?

kiala: also, he toldher she looks like prince, so that is good. bonnie: first warningright there. kiala: because that's whata friend will tell you. veronica: it was game over. bonnie: game over. game over. veronica: veronica does notabide a velour tracksuit. felicia: in the book, guys,she goes to an outlet mall

because her clothes got ruinedbecause somebody attacked her with gale force winds. and she buys a lot of crushedpurple velvet. which dates the book verymuch in the early 90s. bonnie: i'm just going to tellyou, gale force wins are not an excuse to wearcrushed velvet. veronica: chat room is right. the only person whoseallowed to wear that kind of stuff is prince.

bonnie: and he barelygets away with it. felicia: when i was 14, i boughta velvet skirt that had crushed velvet and lace,alternating to the floor. and i literally thought i wasthe most amazing looking girl on the planet. bonnie: i will say thatis a goth mistake. there's a lot of velvetand lace in goth gear. felicia: there was also an offthe shoulder peasant blouse in crushed black velvet.

bonnie: we were all there. we've all done the peasantgirl thing. veronica: i thought i wasclarissa explains it all. i'm talking the plaid lumberjackshirts tied underneath, above yourbelly button. i was like i'm hot. i'm also a bit crazy. kiala: i had some chocolatebrown gaucho pants, like palazzo pants, incrushed velvet.

felicia: no! kiala: oh, yeah, oh, yeah. and i got them from like,tweeds or something. catalogue stuff. i don't think that evenexists anymore. but that's what i got. and i thought theywere awesome. and i couldn't even button thembecause i was too chubby. so i had to use a safety pin.

anyway, it's a long story. bonnie: that's so punk rock. was the safety pin showing,because that would have been hot. felicia: it's amazingwhat you think-- you just think you'reso awesome. felicia: you think, wow, i havedefined myself in a way that no one can touch inthis mustard yellow fringe leather jacket.

bonnie: but i will tell you,velvet mistakes are not our gender alone. because the first time-- grant imahara-- i'm totally outing himas a velvet fan. because-- he is a dapper man, grantimahara from myth busters. bonnie: he and i had beenfriends for a long time. and we went out to dinneronce, and he

wore a velvet jacket. and the funny thing is--it's a dress jacket-- i had the exact samedress jacket. because i used to wear guys'dress jackets when it was cool in the early '90s grunge time. we had the same one. i almost wore the same one. veronica: (singing) sendinghim a tweet. felicia: that is awkward.

bonnie: one of those thingswhere you're like, ehhhh-- crushed velvet. it wasn't crushed. it was like, brushed. is that bad? is that worse? i don't know anymore. felicia: nothing's worsethan crushed. on the ladder of velvet, crushedis the most declasse.

bonnie: where did crushedvelvet originate? did some goth fall asleepin a velvet outfit. and then he went to a party,and then someone was, like, crushed velvet? that's innovativeand fashionable. that's awesome. veronica: it was purple? kiala: purple. veronica: it was purple.

felicia: are you live tweetinggrant imahara? veronica: wait, so was itwas a purple jacket? bonnie: oh no. it was black. black. veronica: black bonnie: blackish purple. veronica: blackish. bonnie: let's just say black.

he's going to hate me. felicia: yowiangel16 says bonniewas in season five, episode eight. correct, sir, ormadam, correct. veronica: so also the chatroom is making fun of me, saying that i'm separated fromyou guys with the vaginal fantasy hangout logo because ihaven't been in the guild. felicia: oh no. veronica: i'm like a lesservaginal fantasy hangout

participant. kiala: we segregated you. felicia: it's becauseyou're dead. kiala: you smell. veronica: because i smelli have flies. bonnie: i wonder if that episodei was in the guild, because grant was in it, was hewearing the velvet jacket? felicia: he might have been. i can't remember.

he was in that-- itwas the celebrity montage where i got-- bonnie: the party,celebrity party. felicia: and whowere you with? kiala: should we talkabout the bool? bonnie: yeah we were with grantand amy, all the celebs. eliza dushku. bonnie: and tom link. bonnie: all the people thati basically started cyber

stalking right after thatepisode, pretending we were all best friends. because i was in one scenewith them that i didn't even talk in. bonnie: why would you outyourself like that? now you're-- bonnie: i'm like hey, i wasin the guild with you. remember me? veronica: so, howabout that book?

felicia: oh yeah, the book. so, alright, but you get mypoint that it seems like, i don't know. i feel like there's a littlebacklash against a confident woman protagonist although-- all: no. kiala: that is not it. bonnie: ok, you know what? i'll tell you right now what ididn't like about her, besides

the horrible fashion sense. was why did we haveto find out these descriptions of how she ate? she pretty much a licked theplate clean with gravy. and she's constantly lickingnaan bread off her fingers. and i don't care what kind ofcoffee she was drugged with. like i read thoselittle tiny-- veronica: i was interestedin that. i really coffee.

felicia: i do too-- kiala: i wanted to knowmore about the coffee. felicia: i also liked the factthat we had the narrative flashbacks that kind of exploredthe character. bonnie: i think she wasa sloppy eater. felicia: you just havea problem with sloppy eaters, bonnie. bonnie: sorry. it's the little thingsi was like, ugh.

she dresses bad. she eats bad. she complains aboutweird things. her sexual behavioris just icky. felicia: ok, see, that's whati want to bring up. why-- because another woman, laurie,let's talk about one minute she's picking up a hitch-hikerand the next she's sleeping with him.

but christine says, comparedto so many other female heroins, she really owned hersexuality, without being too trampy about it. so this seems to be the hotbutton issue for her, that she was a little bit moresexually confident. and she's like, yeah, ihad sex with that guy. but not-- it didn't come acrossas slutty. and for some reason i think thesubliminal part is that

we're judging her. bonnie: confidence or stupid? because i wouldn't sleep with ahitch-hiker first night out. kiala: yeah, there's sexualconfidence and then there's high risk behavior. bonnie: yeah. kiala: putting yourself ina dangerous situation. but she used her oversight. and she couldn't see anythingbad about him.

but, again, there's a lot ofbuts, nine buts, also. if you extrapolate that intoreal-life situations, just because you think you'resafe doesn't mean that you are safe. veronica: that's true. kiala: so it's a little scary. veronica: ok we do havea question from 13-- felicia: hitch-hikers aregenerally creepy. can we agree?

bonnie: unless they'reof the galaxy. hitchhiker's guide tothe galaxy, the hitch-hikers were awesome. but hitch-hikers inthis galaxy suck. felicia: they were hot djinnmen who have our best interests at heart. but i agree, it'sa little risky. but that's kind ofher character. she's very high risk.

veronica: also, there justwasn't that much good sex. bonnie: there wasn't. veronica: let's justput that out there. bonnie: the way she lost hervirginity, she started a storm and blew out the windows. veronica: that was theonly cool scene, i thought, was that. kiala: i liked the way shelost her virginity. i thought that

kiala: was kind of hot. veronica: that was like, therewasn't really that much else that drew me in to the sexyside of the book. felicia: what about david? he wasn't sexy? because i loved him. veronica: he was hot. but there just wasn't alot of action there. there wasn't enough sex sex.

felicia: what abouthis character? because a lot of people complainthat we always pick these brutish alpha males. like, uh, you my woman. and he was very much not likethat, which is why i love him. veronica: that's very nice. but still, they did notget their freak on. i agree. veronica: there was just not--

bonnie: more freaky. felicia: i cannot win in this. ok, next month bonniepicks some stuff. veronica: we need somefreaky ass times. bonnie: [inaudible] veronica: it's been a whilesince we've had something truly shudder inducing. i think iron duke was probablythe raciest. veronica: that was one of myfavorites, by the way.

because it was alsoan excellent book. bonnie: me too. veronica: the characterswere really good. felicia: yeah, i did, too. bonnie: can i bring up somethingthat also bugged me. i just want to know if i'm theonly one who thought this way. felicia: can we just talk abouthow kiala's two fisting wine right now? veronica: i need a refill.

i ran out. all the bugs ate mine. bonnie: i'm going todrink wine now. felicia: ok, bonnie, youwere saying something? bonnie: ok, so i'll be ahypocrite as i pour my wine. but didn't it seem weird to youguys that while she was driving she astral projectedout of her body to look at the weather? isn't that freaking dangerous?

that's like the equivalentof drunk driving. felicia: but she's very-- that's her character. she's very heedless,obviously. it got her into trouble. bonnie: if i was car headedtowards her, and she wasn't paying attention because she'slooking at cloud formations, [inaudible] even legitimatelydriving, that's super dangerous.

veronica: but i have to say,in felicia's defense-- and this is something thatshe mentioned a little bit earlier-- i think in terms of magicsystems this was-- very interesting. oh thanks guys. thanks. the veronic thanks. i feel--

whatever, team veronicaover here. team veronica. you guys will all want to be onthe right hand side of the barrier after this. trust me. anyway, as i was saying-- bonnie: wait, whatjust happened? did something happen? i was drinking.

veronica: yeah, look at, theyput the veronica barrier up. kiala: is the veronica barrierbecause there's an ill wind in your-- veronica: it's becausei smell. kiala: office? veronica: it's allthe ill wind. veronica: mexican for lunch. i'm trying to concentrate, soi'm just looking at documents on my desk, like i'm somehowgetting information from them.

felicia: it's yourelectric bill. veronica: magical. yeah, i'm scribbling things,like john stewart on the daily show, that doesn't have anythingto do with i'm talking about. but magical systems. so we deal with magicalsystems a lot in sword and laser. i'm buzz marketing myother show, here.

and you get a lot of thesame kind of stuff. and it's always reallyinteresting when you get a different kind of magicsystem, or different experience with that, somethingthat's a little bit out of the ordinary. and i did think thatwas pretty cool. that was definitely somethingthat piqued my interest. i would have liked to hearmore about that. otherwise, there wasn't a lotdrawing me into this book.

felicia: yeah, i think that'sdefinitely the str-- what the hell is going on? felicia: she has-- veronica: did i do it again? i did it again. bonnie: eat it. eat it. felicia: what is goingon in your room? you have a dead body in there.

felicia: i'm convinced. felicia: wait, you've been ina room with a dead body? what happened? there was a mouse thatdied behind my hamper in my dorm room. and we couldn't find itfor three months. it smelled terrible. that says something abouthow often i did laundry. bonnie: that's youronly death story?

kiala: that's not a dead body. veronica: it was a dead body. bonnie: how many people-- i've touched a dead body. felicia: where? bonnie: in pre-med. felicia: you were pre-med? bonnie: yeah, fornot that long. i'm really bad at sciences.

i thought it would be-- bonnie: i wanted to bea forensic person. and clearly that didwell because i didn't last very long. and i also dateda pre-med guy. felicia: i'd like tostab a dead body. like if there was a dead bodyaround, i would like to-- is that weird? kiala: that's a flog.

that's a flog. bonnie: do you want to hit itwith a riding crop like benedict cumberbatch in thefirst episode of sherlock? oh my god. hot. veronica: don't. veronica: cumberbitches. what. i just derailed our wholeconversation.

felicia: no it's fine. i forget what we weretalking about. and i'm glad that we're glossingover the fact that i said i want to stab a person. bonnie: there's aquestion for me. i think we have a question. someone wanted to know,dwindstreamer-- i'm bad with screen names. i'd rather have no sex scenein a book than a

badly written sex scene. felicia: i thouht the sexscenes were very well done in this one. i thought that the hot tubscene was excellent. how many sex scenes were therein this book, bonnie? bonnie: i don't even remember. felicia: you usuallymark them. bonnie: yeah, thereweren't very many. i was logging them.

and then i didn't count therape scene, by the way. thanks a lot, felicia. bonnie: there was arape in this book. felicia: what are youtalking about. bonnie: it describes the demongoing in her as worse than any rape known possibleto a woman. felicia: oh, it was awful. bonnie: she constantly refersto it as being gang raped. felicia: but that's why-- itwas such a bad incident,

that's why it came muchlater in the book. bonnie: no i'm just saying. that-- ugh. felicia: i wouldn't have countedthat as a sex scene. i'm talking about david. bonnie: the maincharacter did. she calls it that repeatedly,by the way, which also bugged me.

felicia: interesting. felicia: well. i didn't mean to bea debbie downer. felicia: no, no. you have your opinion. ok let's go to-- let's do our casting. who would you have cast asthe two main characters? this is a very popular topicon good reads, our forum,

every month, to be able tocast the characters. it's what we do every month. bonnie: is it creepy thati know who i would pick for the bad bob? who? bonnie: gandolfini. felicia: james gandolfini. veronica: a little too young. felicia: i thoughtanthony hopkins.

he's supposed to be big andmeaty and chicago mafia style. anthony hopkins is kindof frail, right? what about joanne and david? joanne and david. i say young demi moore and-- felicia: yeah, becauseshe's dark haired and very confidant. bonnie: wow. i'm glad you gave demimoore some work.

felicia: young demi moore. or like jordana brewster,do you know her? all: yeah. bonnie: i'm telling you, olddemi moore looks hotter than original demi moore. felicia: current demimoore is amazing. she traded something. there was some djinn actiongoing on there. like madeleine stowe.

i don't know what's happeningthere, or how that's possible. felicia: what is happeningthere? kiala: how is that possible? felicia: she's reversing. veronica: who? wait, who? felicia: madeleine stowe. kiala: madeleine stowefrom revenge. felicia: that's a reallygood show.

bonnie: she looks better nowthan she did in blink, which was on of her major films-- kiala: oh, with aidan quinn. bonnie: yeah, which a hotfilm, by the way. felicia: oh, aidan quinnis very hot. it's the blue eyes, though. it's the brown hairblue eye thing. and i picked ryan goslingas david. kiala: [gasp]

kiala: that changeseverything. bonnie: that does. felicia: it gets rid of thecreepy glasses, kaila? veronica: see, i wish we hadlearned more about james. bonnie: i picked-- yeah. do you know who i pickedfor james, though? i didn't really-- do we get a real descriptionof james?

veronica: i kind of saw himas a younger clive owens. felicia: wait, lewis? who's james? veronica: lewis, lewis, sorry. felicia: lewis, i wasabout to say. bonnie: james. now i'm confused. veronica: no, no no. we're talking about lewis.

veronica: he's kind of like aclive owen-y, like a skinny clive owen. clive owen is alwaysevery man. veronica: he's alwaysevery man? bonnie: i didn't say benedictcumberbatch and i aways do. felicia: i would say benedict cumberbatch for lewis, actually. bonnie: for lewis i pickedrichard armitage. which probably noneof you know.

but he's a british actor,and he does a lot of corset movies. not him in the corset, thoughthat would be hot. historical romance type stuff,which i'm now watching all of them on netflix, by the way. kiala: right? bonnie: like the forsyth saga. kiala: isn't that so good? bonnie: north and south.

that's what i said-- bonnie: he's the guyon north and south. he's the guy that ownsthe factory. kiala: oh god, thatguy is so hot. felicia: look at this shit. bonnie: his name is richardarmitage, and he's super duper hot. kiala: oh, that guyis amazing. veronica: who is this?

what is this guy's name? kiala: richard armitage. felicia: let's look him up. bonnie: there's a bunch ofminiseries that just dropped on netflix streaming. veronica: oh, he's aight. bonnie: one of them iscalled north and south, and it's a british-- kiala: it's really good.

bonnie: victorian thing. and that, you would like,felicia, because the main character is a no nonsense-- kiala: she's very strong. but romantic. bonnie: very strong. veronica: he is 41 years old. he's six foot two. felicia: good height.

veronica: has a siblingnamed chris. good brother name. veronica: and he isan english actor. kiala: yes he is. felicia: wikipediais comprehensive. palpazac says nicolas cage isalways the answers to both characters. veronica: oh no. who's the guy i alwayswant it to be?

i want it to be alcidefrom true blood. bonnie: you do. veronica: i don'twatch that show. he's my every character. felicia: oh. veronica: i couldsee him as paul. he'd be a good paul. felicia: have youseen magic mike? veronica: no, i didn't.

is he in magic mike? felicia: yes. bonnie: you know what? i almost think that at somepoint, if we on geek and sundry, if you want to do anextra thing, felicia-- bonnie: i think we should-- whenmagic mike comes on dvd we should do a vaginalfantasy-- felicia: viewingof magic mike? veronica: [gasp]

bonnie: like a quickie review. veronica: no, can we watchzombie strippers? kiala: oh, i love that movie. felicia: i've never heardof zombie strippers. veronica: with jenna jameson. and the guy, what's theguy's name that played freddy krueger? he's also in it. bonnie: robert englund?

kiala: yes. bonnie: so for david, i wasgoing to pick that hot guy from vampire diaries, which nowthat i think of it none of you watch-- veronica: no, i don'twatch that show. felicia: ian summerholder? bonnie: yes. felicia: i've seen himin person many times. veronica: oh?

kiala: is he short? he seems like he's short. felicia: no. kiala: he's not short? felicia: nope. veronica: felicia, who elsedo you see that's hot? felicia: do you want meto say, veronica? do you want me to say? kiala: do you eversee james mcavoy?

felicia: do you wantme to say? veronica: no. yes. bonnie: what veronica? veronica: who do yousee sometimes? felicia: i know somebody whoveronica thinks is the most attractive man on the planet. veronica:[screaming in weird voice] don't tell them.

felicia: i'm not going to saywho it is, but it's somebody who happened to be at an event,and she left five minutes before. bonnie: is it abe vigoda? no! felicia: it's somebodywho i know. bonnie: nathan fillian? veronica: [screams] what?

bonnie: fillian? no kiala: oh, ok. bonnie: what do you mean no? veronica: i mean,he's no, but no. kiala: he's in my top 5. felicia: anyway,let's move on. veronica: save it. it'll be a mystery for theaudience to figure out.

felicia: let's see whatpeople think is veronica's secret crush. kiala: i want to know. felicia: celebrity crush. veronica: my secretcelebrity crush. bonnie: i'm just goingto name the cast of-- felicia: hey, guess what? brynn2crazy says, veronica,put a bounce sheet in your office.

it's supposed tokeep bugs away. bonnie: a what? veronica: a bounce sheet? felicia: yeah, a sheetof bounce. hey, emmabeecha on twitter asks,do any of the vaginal fantasy ladies have degrees inenglish or interpretation? i have an english lit degree. veronica: how many schoolthings have you gone to, bonnie?

bonnie: i actuallydid graduate. and i got a degree in englishlit, and a degree in news journalism. veronica: ooh. bonnie: a while, but thenfilm became expensive. and i stopped dating actors. felicia: oh, what about kiala? what did you getyour degree in? kiala: i didn't get my degree.

i'm a couple french classesshort of my degree. but i was-- i know that's it. i know. it's the worst. i'm eight credits and a-- felicia: that's sofrustrating. kiala: it really is. i know, and yet i still haveall the student loans.

but i was a journalism major atthe u of o, and then i was an english major after that. so you're almost anenglish major. felicia: veronica, what didyou get your degree in? veronica: audio radio. felicia: oh, i remember that. veronica: audio radio was afocus in new media studies. felicia: that's why youhave the biggest mic. bonnie: ok, so.

veronica: that's why i have thereally fancy microphone. bonnie: this just shows howold i am, by the way. because when i graduated fromcollege, my last year-- my last second senior year ofcollege because i did the five year plan-- the internet just started. so i developed the web mediajournalism program. so at cu boulder, i was one ofthe first journalists that actually put the newspaperonline, and do online

and i freelanced for wired. that's when the internetstarted. there was no newmedia, nothing. it was all tv, radio,or print. there was no internet. in fact, i had professors incollege that thought the internet was a fad-- felicia: ok, god thisis so dating. i just said--

veronica: y tu, felicia? oh, me? i have a mathematics and a musicdegree, both of them. my dad said i couldn't move tola before i got a real degree. so, anyway. back to the book, did anybodyelse have any casting ideas? bonnie: wait, did we all decideon joanne, who she was going to be? felicia: i said young demimoore, jordana brewster, but

everybody shot that down. veronica: i think chat roomwas jordana brewster. they were behind youon that one. felicia: oh, they were? veronica: they likedthat one, yeah. bonnie: by the way, veronica,you kind of look like her. bonnie: jordana brewster. veronica: really? veronica: people think i looklike that chloe from 24.

i also get sandra bullock. felicia: everybody getschloe from 24. i get that one. veronica: becausewe have jaws. veronica: yes. i think that's what people thinkwe look like, sometimes. you do have very similarjawlines. that's true. felicia: she's very pretty.

bonnie: i just get [inaudible],but now that i have short hair i have no ideawhat i'm going to get. felicia: i reallylike your hair. what about, if you were aweather warden yourself, what weather would you control? would you be and earth warden,a fire warden, or a storm warden, which is likewhat joanne is. she can control lightning,and rain, and all that. it's the more volatile-- it'sinteresting because they're

the more impetuous people. and the fire people arereally aggressive. veronica: i just figuredout what magic system this is like. it's like the coedex alerafrom jim butcher. you're right. felicia: i didn't read it. veronica: because they havewater, they have different kind of like, they're allbased on the elements.

bonnie: you'd like thosebooks, felicia. veronica: you have gotto read those books. they're great. kiala: do you know what else itreminds me of, and i think i talked about these before,the college of magicks by caroline stevermere-- felicia: oh, i haven'tread that either. kiala: and they have wardens. there's a warden of the northand south, east, and west, and

they anchor the world. and it's very similar. it totally remindedme of that. strong female characters. bonnie: but i will say, itreminded me of when i was a little kid. and i'd be scared of lightningand thunder. and my grandmother always toldme it was the gods fighting. felicia: was you grandmotherlike-- was she

from the old country? what-- bonnie: no, she justthought it was-- she just said that. and i believed it,because it-- not fighting, bowling. that's what it was. it was bowling. veronica: [singing captainplanet theme song]

felicia: i said i would shootanybody who sang the "whole new world" song, butthat one is-- veronica: [gasps] i love the "wholenew world" song. felicia: you can't do it. bonnie: what are youtalking about? felicia: it's againstcopyright. don't sing it. bonnie: is it like "gundam

style?" all: mm. felicia: "gundam style"-- veronica: can i comment? felicia: i saw that threeweeks ago, guys. so last three weeks ago. bonnie: oh, shut up. felicia: what a douchebag comment. bonnie: like, i knewabout k-pop, like way before you did.

bonnie: so to answeryour question, it's hard one for me. but i kind of like theidea of being a water warden only because-- here's the thing. i would be stripped ofmy powers instantly. because i'm one of thosepeople that would use lightning to shut up drunkpeople waiting for the bus in my neighborhood thatkeep me up late.

felicia: yeah, that's a pretty capricious use of your weather. bonnie: i would useit to constantly-- i would rain out partiesthat are too loud. i'd be like that grumpy old ladythat's like, instead of calling the noise police,i'd just start a storm. felicia: stop. what are you doing, veronica? stop.

bonnie: what did veronicajust do? felicia: she can't sing "wholenew world," because it's against copyright. so she's mouthing it. and that's why she's on theother side of the barrier. bonnie: just don'tmouth billy joel. don't mouth billy joel. don't do it. don't mouth the weathergirls, which is awful.

felicia: she's awful. she keeps going. she has no considerationfor this show. bonnie: veronica. bonnie: ok, what wardenwould you be? felicia: wait, you'restill muted. i'm always a fire mage. that was beautiful, thank you. the veronica barrierhad to go back up.

look at it. kiala: look what you did. the veronica barrier? kiala: look what youdid, veronica. bonnie: can't fire beeasily defeated? felicia: kahhhhhn! ok, i would be a fire warden,because i've always-- one of my first d and d games,i played a fire sorcerer. so i had extremely high charismaand extremely low

intelligence. so i would always fireball intothe middle of a group and draw all the mobs to me. and then i would spend awhole turn changing my outfit with a cantrip. bonnie: nerd. felicia: true story. bonnie: by the way, when i thinkof fire warden i think of drew barrymorein fire starter.

and i could totally, if they doa reboot, you should be in fire starter, felicia. felicia: what aboutyou, kiala? what would you be? kiala: i would like to say thati would be a fire warden. but i think we all know thati would be an earth warden. felicia: i was about to say,you're an earth warden. veronica: is there water? is that storm, or--

felicia: well, it's storm. veronica: is there aspecific water one? bonnie: you couldbe an air one. felicia: i thinkthere's three. bonnie: no, there's four. there's four. because remember, there's,i thought there was one that was air. felicia: you guys from chat, canyou confirm that there's

three or four kindsof wardens? bonnie: because rememberyou can take the oxygen out of the air. wasn't that an air thing? felicia: not sure. bonnie: like the elements. there's four elements. felicia: but joannewas one kind. joanne was one kind.

there is a fire warden who wasstar, her best friend, who betrayed her, which was sad. and there's earth. i think there are only three. veronica: chat room issaying there's three. bonnie: wait. kiala: there's earth, wind, andfire, and then there's the commodores. felicia: well done.

bonnie: i change my answer. i want to be a lionelritchie warden. felicia: we need a kiala barrierafter that joke. felicia: come overto the dark side. veronica, what kindwould you be? veronica: i would like to be awater, i guess an air, water, weather, person. whatever it is that joanne is. bonnie: you want tostrike people you

don't like with lightning. welcome to my world. veronica: i thought thatwould be pretty cool. i like water. i feel like-- this is going to sound sototally nerdy-- but if i see the ocean, i feelconnected to it. i never feel likei couldn't not-- i want to live near water.

i don't think i couldever be landlocked. bonnie: what sign are you? veronica: i'm a cancer. felicia: me too! bonnie: we're water signs. kiala: what are you, bonnie. bonnie: i'm a cancer. kiala: you're cancer, too? felicia: wait, we'reall cancers?

kiala: no, i'm not. i'm a sagittarius scorpio. i'm both. felicia: well get out. veronica: fire? kiala: fire. kiala: fire? that's what i thought. my best friend is a scorpio.

felicia: valirezari saysweather, wind, and water. then there is earth and fire. weather is wind and water. and there's earth and fire. so there are three. we won. also-- bonnie: wait, where does airfall into that, then? felicia: well, weatheris the wind and

water and air, basically. bonnie: oh, ok. felicia: and then there's earth,and then there's fire. so there's like thatstuff, fire, earth. also, neuroman42 asks areally good question, probably a new viewer. what is good book fora guy who has never read any chick smut? not sure.

the cool thing about our club isif you go on the forums, we actually have a lot of guyswho read these books. because who wouldn't want toread books with adventure and then sexy times? i don't understand whythere should be a barrier between there. so we try to pick books,generally, that aren't just so heavy romance. we occasionally havedone it last month.

but usually they're kind oflike, this where we do more urban paranormal. but it usually has afemale protagonist. this month we actually had analt book that had a male protagonist. and then i switched it becausepeople were like, where's the sexy times. but, master of none. but we did have an altbook this month.

bonnie: yeah, whatwas that book? felicia: it was calledoracle's moon. did you read it? did anybody read it? bonnie: i feel like i mighthave read it first. felicia: oh-- bonnie: i read that first. felicia: the djinnwith the kids? that one.

felicia: did youread it kiala? veronica: heavy month, huh? was that on purpose? veronica: djinn heavy? felicia: i absolutelypicked a book that i thought was more guy-heavy. do you guys have suggestions forurban fantasy books that are more guy oriented? bonnie: ha, anita blake.

come on, there'svampire orgies. vampire orgies in anita blake. felicia: it's very guy inthat there's 13 penii in veronica: i've gotto read this. i've got-- bonnie: why are you so againstthe orgy, felicia? felicia: it's so ugh. veronica: what is this? please tell me.

felicia: anita blake, we'lldo this series later on. but we'll pick-- bonnie: veronica, you can justborrow them from me at work. i have all the books. felicia: but we'll have to readnumber 10, or something. because the first threeare actually great books in my opinion. and they're not racy. and it has a very--

bonnie: i know. i think they have agood storyline. and i like the idea of that. and i liked it. i think guys would like thatbook, because it actually has sex in it, too. when we did a breakdown of whatwe all like as far as books, i'm not aromance reader. i don't like romance books.

i like horror and sci fi thathave really good sex scenes. i don't care aboutthe romance part. i'm jaded and a horribleperson. so i don't care aboutthe romance part. so, you know what i mean. felicia: we've heard a lotof interesting stories. bonnie: my dating history makesme hate romance books. so i'm just like, liar. like i don't want to yell liarat the book in the middle of

the subway constantly. i'm starting to attracta weird crowd now. but the rest of you likeromance stuff, and i respect that. felicia: veronica has sword andlaser, which is hardcore science fiction and fantasy. so that's why it works out. me and kiala cover thelady-er areas. although i just read redshirtsby john scalzi last night.

great book! did anybody read redshirts? kiala: no, but ireally want to. it's a great book. it's really funny, actually. veronica: very funny. felicia: ok to wrap up,so anyway, oracle's moon was the alt. i really liked it.

it was the fourth in a series,which i think is very light hearted, and is verylady romance. but i actually enjoyed this onemore than i did the first in the series. and nicole, on the forum said,i'm nearly finished. and holy hecks with the sex. i assume that is what it wouldbe like to have sex with doctor manhattanfrom watchmen. veronica: he does havethe big dangly--

kiala: he does. bonnie: i will agreewith that. i will 100% agree with that. felicia: dr. manhattanis well endowed? bonnie: wait, what? felicia: what just happened? kiala: dr. manhattan? right? that's what we'retalking about?

bonnie: he's got allof manhattan, if you know what i mean. veronica: no, i don't. tell me more. bonnie: he's got the chryslerbuilding, and then some. you know that scene in borat,where they're wrestling, and they have to put the blackbar for the man area? it's like that. but blue.

and nuclear. felicia: is there radiationinvolved? kiala: yes, but he'llprotect you. bonnie: yeah, in allkinds of ways. bonnie: protect you? is that what we'recalling it now? felicia: i'm so traumatizedright now. bonnie: i haven't been protectedin a really long time, just so you know.

felicia: oh boy. ok, so we're going to wrap up,because we're at our hour. but i wanted to givea shout out. so if you are-- we actually havelocal meet-ups. every month we have alocal g+ that vicky on our forums leads. so random people get togetherto discuss the books and the alt.

and then locally we had achicago meet-up at the bookseller. in orange county there'sone in the gypsy den. saint louis at shamelessgrounds. phoenix at the brick. and then we havea bunch of g+. so if you are local and want totalk about the books that we read, you could dothat on the forums. bonnie: and let veronica andi know if there's a san

francisco one. veronica: i think there is. felicia: we're also having adragon con panel the sunday. bonnie: i don't know i'mgoing to be there. all: [gasps] bonnie: well, my dog was sick. see the dog right there? kiala: she looks pretty good. bonnie: she looks fine,but she can't

get up and down stairs. i think she had like astroke or something. it was horrifying. and so i'm a little paranoidleaving her alone. i'll see if i can make it. but if i can't maybe you canjust have a flat stanley picture of me, or something. veronica: we're goingto miss you. we're all going to partycrazily without you.

just say stuff you thinki might say. that's all i ask. bonnie: talk about tentacles. felicia: oh god. well, speaking of tentacles,next month-- bonnie: speaking of tentacles,back up. so i want to say somethingabout tentacles, here. for the whole vaginal fantasy,i have been talking about cthulhu and tentacles andromance and putting the love

back in lovecraft. and you guys haveall mocked me. and then all weekend long,thanks to table top, i see all these images of allof you, especially felicia, party time pictures. veronica: karen o'hedamade us wonderful tentacle profile icons. felicia: well we're going touse them all next month, because your pick, your primary

pick is cthulhu erotica. bonnie: woo! look at that. and underboob. veronica: boob. felicia: oh, oh, oh. bonnie: we all have them. we all have boobs. felicia: so that isour primary book

pick for next month. but we have an amazing altone that i've found. bonnie: the dinosaurs. felicia: i'm going to readthe description. but guys, as a caveat, none ofus has ever read this author. and we've never readthe series. so i'm just telling youright now, it is not screened as an alt. bonnie: i'm excited.

felicia: here's the descriptionof the book. it's called eternal pleasure,gods of the night, book one by nina bangs. veronica: bangs. felicia: nina bangs. and here's the description ofthis book that we're reading as the alt. veronica: tentacles arereally just mouth bangs when you're cthulu.

felicia: gods of the night areincarnated the first time in 65 million years, summoned toprotect humanity from an all-encompassing evil that'scoming in 2012, at the end of the mayan calendar. while currently incarnated asdeadly handsome men, they have the ability to assumetheir prior forms-- those of gigantic dinosaurs. bonnie: yay. bonnie: oh my god.

dinosaur sex. i've been waiting for this. kiala: dinosaurs doing it. that's what we're doing. felicia: we're going to be sureto read both selections next month, because wecan't pass it up. so we'll be reading the shortstory, which as you can see is probably very racy. we have no idea what this otherone is, except it's

shape shifting dinosaurs. bonnie: can i explain thecthulhu erotica book though, just so people knowwhat it is. they're not too afraid. felicia: why don't youexplain it, bonnie? bonnie: so the cthulhu eroticabook that we're reading is an anthology of short stories. so it's not all one bookof just one story. it's a bunch of differentshort stories.

i'll go on good reads andsuggest the ones that i like. but you guys can all readdifferent ones if you want. and share whatever youwant to share. but there's also essays-- felicia: what is-- veronica: i want to make love toyou but my little dinosaur arms are too short. felicia: come here, baby. bonnie: i do have aquestion abut the

dinosaur book, though. felicia: i don't know. bonnie: how can there be aromantic embrace when t-rex can't even hug. dude, this is an unscreenedbook as an alt. but i feel like we're allgoing to read it. so we will discussboth these books. we're going to pick a couple ofthe short stories we liked and discuss them.

but this is required reading,is the dinosaur [inaudible]. bonnie: i'm excitedfor the dinosaurs. bonnie: godzilla slashfic as possible. felicia: let me just readthis, while currently incarnated as deadly-- veronica: i can't get thiscondom on because my hands are too-- felicia: while currentlyincarnated as deadly handsome men, they have the ability toassume their prior forms,

bonnie: whoa. i am kind of turned on right nowin a primeval sort of way. felicia: i hope that you guysjoin in with our revelry. veronica: i already apologizefor all the horrible things i will say. and do. and mime. felicia: it's not goingto be good. so thank you to the new viewers,to the traumatized

geek and sundry viewers who hadno idea this was coming. this is what this show is. i hope you enjoyed it. if you don't, well it'sone video, so you can skip over it. so please don't complainlater. bonnie: we have other videos. felicia: there's a lot of videoson this channel, guys. bonnie: no, they should checkout our other vagfan--

felicia: we do have othervaginal fantasy episodes archived on my personalchannel. and bonnie hosts a showon stan lee's channel about crafts. bonnie: aw, thanks. yeah, it's called geek diy. felicia: and veronica belmontdoes sword and laser on geek and sundry. she also does techzilla

veronica: on revision three. felicia: and kialais a blogger. she has a very funny blogs thatshe does, of many, many types, including nerdist. bonnie: you guys should-- you should follow all of us ontwitter-- but you should really follow kiala becauseshe's hilarious. felicia: she's frequentlydrunk. bonnie: writes in allcaps, but hilarious.

felicia: very funny. bonnie: funnier than ehorse. kiala: thank you, bonnie. veronica: ehorse books, yeah. horse ebooks. bonnie: and i'm not just sayingthat because i'm drunk and i think you're cute. i really do-- felicia: we all do havegood hair tonight.

ok, thanks you guys. we will see you next month. it's always the last tuesdayof every month. so we will see you next monthfor vaginal fantasy. bye. bonnie: bye.

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