Wednesday, November 30, 2016

puppets for preschoolers

top of the morning to ya' laddies! my name is jacksepticeye! and welcome to a game called inside. i literally, i just started up the game and then this press any button came up. so, i don't wanna go any further in case this is the main menu or something. and, i end up talking over the actual game. but, this is a game by playdead studios, they are the ones who made limbo, which i, i-i actually did a series on limbo on the channel. uhm, i did it ages and ages ago, but limbo is one of my favorite indie games ever. because the - the setup for it was really cool,

the art style was phenomenal, i loved it so much. it was so, like, "minimalistic" but so powerful. and i loved the ending to it, and there are so many theories around it. i just loved the game so much. and then they showed off inside at e3, a couple of weeks ago and it was, it was one of my favorite things they showed off at e3. and i'm not saying that because like i want people to like - - uhh,

i'm not trying to overhype the game or anything like that it literally was my - - - one of my favorite trailers at e3. (*wooo e3*) and i loved it so much, so i'm really looking forward to playing it so, press any button. let's play the game. playdead's inside. loading. oh! i actually could have clicked it and we would have been sitting through the loading as i talked. ( nice going jack) but again, better to not miss anything. and i hope that i can see this because it's very bright in my room.

and the screen is very dark there's always, always a problem. they're saying the game looks really good too. what's going on? oh! oh yeah! see, it's a lot like limbo. we're just straight in. that's it! welcome to the game everybody! (*thanks*) nice!

okay, this is what i loved, you just hear the trees. you just hear nature. that's it! you don't need anything else. okay, what-what're my buttons? i can literally just jump. that's it. that's all there is. that's all you need, baby. so now we have to try and like, piece together why this kid is in the woods in the middle of nowhere.

maybe he's in the middle of somewhere. okay, civilization. [truck engine starts] oh! oh!! oh!!! (*me too jack*) was that a bunch of kids in the back of the truck? is he kidnapping kids? what the fuck is this? uh! that's creepy i'm getting very like - - -

concentration camp vibes from this game. i don't know why actually. but, there's a bunch of like, people in the back of the truck! and they just took them all away. you didn't hear anything! you didn't hear anything! oh god! that's creepy. do you have masks on? uh-oh can i go?

i'm gone! i'm gone! i'm gone! see you later! fuck you guys! fuck you guys! awesome, look at that art style! that is mwah! that is good, i like it a lot. let's indiana jones this shit and get in the fridge. can i grab the fridge? ya !!! uh! uggh! move it! yes! what is going on?

isn't it very like concentration camp vibes, like they're taking them all away to an internment camp or a prison camp somewhere. oh! the-the depth is so good. the main reason i like these games is 'cause of the lighting. well, i like a lot of games because of the lighting but, ohh! careful, don't fall and break ankles. i-i do not- oh god, we have to get the thing. i do not feel good for this boy! i do not think we're gonna meet a nice end.

something tells something bad is gonna happen. well i'll probably meet several bad ends in the game because i ended up fucking up all the puzzles. haha! i wonder are the-the deaths as violent in this as they were in limbo? like getting stuck with spikes, getting giant spiders to kill you. probably no giant spiders in this one though? (hmm) i really like that, how the water- eh the light is just shining from over there. you don't see me! you don't see, i'm hidden! look! [dogs barking]

oh fuck! oh fuck! go! go little boy! go! (borf borf says doge) uh-oh! uh-oh! uh-oh! what do i do? agh!!! oh thank god! oh thank god! that legit like fucking scared the shit out of me. i thought i did something wrong and then the dog was chasing me. crap! ok, that's the type of game it's gonna be

my little uh, uh, billy. hehe clever names, right? it's so eerie. is that more trucks i hear? getting close! gonna drive along the road now! yep! uh-oh! you don't see me!

keep running! keep running little boy! faster would be nice! oh hide! hide! hide! hide! hide! oh ~~~, yes! ah-hah! ok! so i have some of my like instincts from limbo to go cause it's like. oh! you just keep running forward and then they see you but you have to run back. oh, yeah! i love this shit. i used to love when i was younger, well, not- younger than now but not like young-young-young.

when i- like a few years ago, i used to love being out in the woods at night time. and you just hear all the nature going on all around you. you hear the bugs, you hear the-the animals, lots of different shit. uh-oh! oh that's so cool looking-, oh fucknuggets! oh shit! run dude! oh, fuck. oh, fuck. oh, fuck! okay, he didn't kill me. i thought he was going to drown me. okay, jump over the thing this time. don't trip and fall so i have to get caught by those guys. run, run.

hup. yes! made it. maybe he'll trip and fall. ah, shi- ah fuck! motherfucker shot me! oh, you can hear, like, his breath escaping him. oh, i don't like that. okay, so i have to jump. do have to hide behind the caravan? maybe, let's go! i like how i have no face either. those guys don't either, but they havemasks on. so i just like hide here?

what about the dude behind? go, go, go, go, go, go, go! go, go, go! ah, fuck. fuck it! ok, so there's a combination: you have to hide long enough for the truck to go by and and then you run. got it, got it, i know how to do it now. oh, they're wearing like cry masks. *chuckles* the animations are so good. run little boy, run! nowhide... and run run run! you don't see me! no! didn't you have a gun before?

run little boy!!! oh shit, oh sh- don't follow me! don't fucking shoot at me! i'm just a little boy uh oh (x3) oh fuck! oh shit! aah haha! oh my god, that was terrifying! it was super fucking cool though. oh god. oh god, that is nice looking! ooh i'm in love with this game a lot already!

look at the water effect, the rain, thelighting. so fucking awesome! underneath the water. underneath the water~ underneath the water, haha. am i safe? oh thank god. don't- don't turn your light at me! this would be terrifying in real life. this art style is phenomenal, i love it so much.

i actually- i remember when i played limbo- are those pigs? i remember when i played limbo ages ago i didn't have a youtube channel when i played it the first time i-i redid the series on youtube though. i remember when i played the first time i actually wrote a review of it, just for myself just in my own time there's something really cozy about this, like the rain and everything. oh! i love it. go frodo! go through the swamps.

oh, cornfields! these are like a horror movie trope. ohhh! (he's having a good time!) come on! *looking at the camera with expections* you have to admit, it's pretty fucking cool looking! (oh yes it is) i'm getting very like movie vibes from it and i used to love being out in the rain in the forest and you'd hear like my fucking eyelashes are sticking together

that's one of the problems of having giant eyelashes (some would kill to have eyelashes like that) what's that sound? i used to love being out in the forest a- in- during the rain and you'd hear the pitter patter of the rain on the leaves but you'd be dry underneath all the leaves so it was like out in the rain but you weren't at the same time i saw- what's on the ground next to me? are those like little chicks?

ahw~ they're cute~ that's what's making the noise this is awesome sorry, i go on and on about visuals so much but the- it's just really striking! these types of visuals stick in my head so much more than something that just looks incredibly realistic 'cause this is super stylised aw there's so many little chicks.

there are a lot of dead pigs though... that can't be good. did foot and mouth strike again? remember when foot and mouth was a big thing? remember when we used to have to wash or walk like through the foot bath things? aw~ the little chicks have nowhere to go and they're following me you used to walk through the foot bath things to get to events because foot and mouth disease was like a big thing while ago oh, nice parkour roll! what does that do?

sweet f all can i let the chicks in? i feel bad that they're all out in the rain. i wanna save them! i love the little chicks! *wild chirping behind a wall* here you go! there you go! yeah! yeah!!

chi-yaay~ hihihi hi! ahw they're so cute! we used to have chicks back home we used to have little baby ehh- oh am i like letting out food? we used to have little baby ducks as well. now pull this pull it again

here we go- oh, once more will do it *starting engine noises by vocalist jack* *dancing time* dance to it chicks! ~hapata hapata!~ aw i like the way he jumps over the chicks what am i doing? *shock* don't you fucking tell me that i have to suck the chicks up into this!

..and kill them oh, that better not be what you're telling me! oh god no don't make me do it oh i fired one of them oh i'm saving them oh thank god (same)

uh i thought i was killing them.i thought i was like blending them up. okay i have to go all the way down here, and you guys are slower than me so i'll have to run back. come on lttle chicks! come on! ahw so cute! can i pet them? pet them! no? okay. go go go! go!!

sorry chicks! sorry, it's gonna be a rough ride but hold on! hold on to your little feathers! oh god did i just use the chicks to knock down a bale of hay? i just gattling gunned a bunch of chicks- uh now they have to stay here i'm sorry dudes, momma's gotta go. but you got a hay bale to sleep next to! and it's dryer in here than outside so please be safe *sniff* goodbye my chicks!*crying* mommy's gotta go..

it's actually kinda sad. i mean they're gonna be better off than i am, i'm out in the fucking rain again, i'm gonna be killed by dudes with fucking guns. thought this was a pile of babies. huuh! ahw gawd! eerrgh! imagine if you'd have to do that in assassin's creed? leap of faith into a bunch of pigs. here we go!don't let the thing crush you. i don't actually think it could crush me. this is weird tho!

cause you can grab stuff from the side now! in limbo you could only grab it from one side or the other. you could only do that but like here you can grab it from here as well but you're kind of at the side of everything. instead of being- like 'now i'm behind it' but when you go over here and now you're beside it and you climb up the side. so it's like a weird 3d thing going on it's not 100% 2d, i mean it basically is, but you know what i mean! (it's 2.5d, we get you.) ooh! it's morning time! morning's here the morning's here~~~

well, almost.ahw gawd, i'm runnin' through pig shit. can i climb this fence? ahh! i always get these vibes i remember when i used to drive home from college back to the cabin in the woods- is that jesus on his cross up on the hill? - when i used to drive back from college, i'd go by like all these different like little farms and forests and trees and fields and it was like all this stuff and whenever i see nature i always have this memory of something in my head i get really nostalgic about something an i never know what it is!

i always think back to like lord of the rings lately, if i see like huge clouds or storms or something, i think of the witcher 3. now when i think about rain, i'm probably gonna look back on this game. pig: *squeals*jack: oh god- oh fuck! ah! ah! ah! no! no! oh, god. can i actually jump over you? yes! go little dude! yeah- fuck! thanks?

you dead? oh, fuck, no you're not. oh shit! i'm gonna keep jumping over him. can i- can i use you to get up here? fuck! no no no no no no- ah, fucking piggy! ahh! aww. are you okay? can i use you to climb up? no. oh! oh!

oh, it was a leech! i thought it was a fucking- i thought it was his tail. you're okay now piggy- oh god, i have to use him. so it is like limbo! limbo used to have those leeches that fell from the sky and made you crazy. i did not notice the dude back there. do you have a leech in you as well? oh, there's bunches of people. what does this thing do?

oh! *dumbfounded* whaaat? i'm controlling the people! oh, this is weeeiiiird! oh god! that's so creepy! ohh, they're marching to my beat! what the fuck? am i gonnaend up killing them all?

are they all gonna get crushed? please don't get crushed 'cause of me. oh god, oh god! ok, they're ok. they're fine. but what's wrong with you guys? why are you like that? okay, i'm getting definiteconcentration camp vibes from this game ah god, that looks painful. there's a very like, um, like everyone's following something, like everyone's being a puppet to something else.

the minimalistic sound design is perfect. ah, it's daytime. yay! it's quite nice, actually. really, like, beautiful scenery what's that in the distance though? hello? oh there's more of them. is that why everyone in the van was just like standing still? that's cool, but it's so fucking creepy! this is like a horror game, almost.

i really like it though. don't think i'm supposed to do that, i think i'm supposed to lower it. here we go. cloonk! now climb the chain. yo, this game is off the chain! actually, it's on the chain right now. this is cool though, right? (sure is, jack!) oooh, spooky. oh, god! thank you. *quietly* fuck...

i hear more chicks! more chicken babies! please! yayyy! chicken babies! chickie- ohhhhh! maybe not. i'm sad. i thought they were just little chicks, but they were chirps. god, that was my footsteps. thought i heard something chasing me the birds are back though, maybe they play a part in something i think one of the reasons i love thesegames as well is cuz

there's a big sense of like there's something way bigger than the little boy going on. like, there's obviously something major going on in this game already, and in limbo, it was like all the creatures were way bigger than you. [crane sounds] do i have to find the balance in this? hmm, maybe not. thought i had to find the balance in like raising it up. ohhhkay? huurrgghh!

fuck! maybe i do. can i make that? see what i mean? you don't put it all the way up, you put it a little bit up. hwaaaaah! dammit! that's too low though. maybe i'm not even supposed to do this. huh!

yeah, anything low enough to be able to grab is too low. i'm not gonna be able to go then. let's jump off the edge and kill ourselves. no guts, no glory! (annnnnnd dead!) yep, smashed my face on the side of a train track. oh, that looks so painful. and just a little *death grunt* where am i now? ok.

ohhhhhhhhh! (now he gets it.) that's fucking clever! that's very clever. not like me. right, let's do this this time. hwuh! ju- come on, you fuck! you should have made that! i'm trying it again. he should have made that. you all saw it!

you all saw what he should-a do. haaah! yes! there you go, little boy! ok, that-that was good. oh. look out, birds! this safe is not so safe! we'll break a hole in the ground. ohhhhh! i know how work!

if i had stayed on it, i would have died. see, playing limbo before this pays off. it's been a while since i played limbo though. sorry for all the comparisons, but it's incredibly like limbo. i like the setup of this one a lot morethough. there's a lot more intrigue and mystery going on already. safe! let's batman this shit. okay. wait, is there anything over here that i need?

[lever triggers door-opening sound] ohhh-kay? can i jump into this thing again? oh, there's a guy here. oh, they go opposite each other! oh, there are switches.there's switches to stand on you can see the stuff to the top rightthere. kay, how do i do this? fuck.

i don't know how do oh, i know how do, i know how do. you do this and then close back down the door. 'cos now his walk cycle isn't going tobe the same if i push them against the door. and then bring both back in. see what i mean? i did it! i am smart in brain-hole! what was back here though? is that someone walking?

what was under this? hello. (and he broke it.) what did i just do? what was that? i have no idea. man, i'm hungry. oh, i would love a subway sandwich right now. that'd be really- sorry, i'm playing outsomething in my head. *laughs at himself* (maybe he was thinking about arin's rant against subway) aw, this game is full of intrigue.

i really like it. i'm really loving it! (me too!) i'm also weirded out by it at the sametime. (yeah, me too.) so did the guys who are chasing me have no faces either? or they do and they have masks on to make it look like they have no face? 'cos my character has no face. that's something i'd love answered. whoooaaaa! these devs really know how to set up like scenery.

and the cameras and the lighting and everything. it's impressive. okay, get ready to jump. its people marching! oh, there's a huge like nazi vibe going on and i don't like it. oh, just like marching perfectly. don't slip and fall and die. that would suck. ohhhh god, i knew it, i knew it, i knew it. i should have been prepared. fuck! jump!

phew! i'm in the building anyway. that's all i wanted to do. [listening to footsteps] it's such a creepy sound, just listen toit. aw man! so do they all have like leecheson them then? they're not moving like humanly. they're moving like zombies. and they're all perfectly in unison.

hrrrr! eagh! here we go. hrrrr! ahhh-ha! nobody notice me, please! oh god, oh god, oh god- okay, i'm safe. so. from what i'm gathering so far is that they're like rounding up people, turning them into puppets to do whatever the hell they want. but i'm like an out-lyer. or maybe they turn them into them when they catch them. maybe that's why he caught me and didn't kill me at first.

and then the other guy just shot me 'cos he was like, "eh, better dead than escaping, so..." and everyone's faceless. maybe it's supposed to be like uh, some sort of satire against human nature these days. everyone's faceless, everyone's a puppet, everyone's just marching along to corporation's beats, kind of thing can i move this ladder? yeah, boy! little boy, you are lucky that that was long enough for that oh god, this got even creepier!

ah fuck! holy shit! i didn't think he could see me. fuck me! scared the shit outta me. ok, so are you like a collector robot dude? oh man, it's like war of the worlds now! okay, don't go yet. and that dude reacts when he's in the light. you see he get- like perks up when the light hits him.

go go go go go! go go go! oh god, oh god, oh god, oh- fuck! oh this is bad!! oh god, what do i do when i get over there? we have to lift up a thing. not enough time! how? do i have to go over and do it before i pull the switch? maybe.

those are creepy! i imagine those are like things that you just sent out into the field and they- the drive around, then if they see people who are acting out of place, they just stick them with the thing. all the dudes in the ground were full of them. yeah, lift it before we go anywhere. and then we have to turn on the power to get the elevator going, and then that's why the robots come on. okay! awesome! if you've ever seen the- the movie- *sigh*

i always do this, i always compare stuff to everything else. you ever seen the movie, '9'? like, a very tim burton- is it made by tim burton? i don't think it is. it's very tim burton-esque type movie though with, like elijah woods in it, and a big giant robot tries to chase them in that as well. ok, we're safe! it's so creepy! imagine if the world was like that. like, you couldnt go outside because it was just giant robots coming to kill you at all times feels like there might be a secret left.

[pulsing music starts] *singing along to the music* go away, ya shite bird! oh god! oh shit! get up! get- fuck! uh-oh! oh, do i have to march with them?! ohhhhh fuck! oh weird!

ohh, so if i act out of place, are you gonna get me? i'm way out of place! you can already tell i'm out of place. oh, don't kill me. don't kill me please! so they go like nine steps. *quietly counts the steps* yeah, nine steps. ok. oh god, now i have to jump. yeah, see the people in the background have masks on that have faces.

six, seven, eight, nine. oh, i was way off, but thank you! nailed it! oh, that is so creepy! why are they just like staring at us? oh fuck... ah, crap. now i have to turn around. i'm doing it. fuck you, robot dude!

oh, perfect! nailed it! ooohhh, scary! oh, god, please just let me escape. fuuck!! i saw the others do it and i was like "oh yeah, turn around." i wasn't supposed to. oh, got it. i'm perfectly in sync now. yeah! nailed it!

this is what training for the backstreet boys looks like oh, i'm outside it, i'm outside it. you can't get me, i'm outside it. because this reminds me of like doing a goose step like the nazis war march you can't catch me, i'm doing it. ohhh, i fucking nailed that one! i'm safe, i'm safe, i'm safe, you can do it to me now. *quietly counting the steps* the dogs are gonna get me. ohhhh!

no! no! fuck, fuck ,fuck! be careful, be careful. oh fuck! what the fuck-balls?! oh god, that's nasty! oh jeez, was i supposed to just run? probably. 'kay, get ready to move. okay, when do we move?

i-i'm adjusting the audio cause it was a bit loud. oh god, when do i run? when do i run? when do i run? go, go, go, go, go! fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, just go! just go! just go! aahhhhh! *sighs in relief* oh, fuck me. that was insane! oh shit! oh shit!

fido's still here! fido's still here! fuck! ahhhhh, nut-bags oh, no! he just a little boy! 'kay, just keep fuckin' running then. oh wait, can i make the dog like jump back down in here? there we go, there we go, there we go. now i have enough time, now i have enough time! go! go!

whuuuh! can i make this dude like crush the dog? okay- okay, no! that's too close! that's too close! keep going! i like how the boy has to make the gestures as well. where am !? because limbo, the last few levels of limbo- spoiler alert but it's-it's been ages well it's not really a spoiler. the last few levels of limbo were kind of industrial based.

a lot of stuff that was going on and you ended up in like industry looking areas. oh-kay. how the fuck do i do that now? i can't get to the thing anymore! wha-? hmm. let me see. ah, keep pulling it! that's the absolute maximum i can get to. ahhh, now i get it. now i get it.

oh god, no no no no no no no no no no no. get out of the thing. there you go. i have to come back and climb that thing. ha ha, clever! such simple little puzzles but they're so good! there we go! nice! it's so peaceful out here. and everything wants to kill me all the time. the dog is still back there as well.

all the way across. all the way- my dude is like moonwalking! *laughs* *sings some michael jackson music* wait, what happens if- when you hit that? nothing. okay. ohhh, wait, i get it. noo! make the dude jump up here. make him jump up here and get up.

make my little dude jump out. did it! i like that *imitates background noise* kind of thing that's going on. ahhh, now i get it! i th- well, i think so. i think i have to push it and let it roll. aannnd liiiike so! i thought that's what i had to do. oh wait! there's another thing up here!

ohhh, this is some inception shit going on right now! what the fu- i'm still confused though! ow! broke my ankles. pull you across. maybe if i jump down now, two dudes'll jump down. yes, okay. i still don't get it. i don't get where the boy goes after this. ohhhh, i do get it! the boy doesn't go anywhere.

this dude jump into this and opens up the gate, and then the boy- or i come down with the second guy. come on! turn around and jump. oh wait, no. i have to lead him over this. it's such simple puzzles, but like you have to like reason them out with yourself. 'kay, you can make it from here, right? yes. so, hwuh! then jump out and this guy goes- ahhh fuck!

no, he doesn't! shit! i had it and everything- ah fuck! come on, man! i knew what- i know what i'm supposed to do now but i've messed it up. and, jump out but i jump back in again now i can go! where do i go? oh, i just keep pulling this? ohhh!

okay, i mean, still did it. be careful. don't make too many sounds. that's good, right? and then drop. ahhh, balls! *laughs at stupid death* please just start me there! juststart me there and i'll be good. yesss! thank you. 'kay, i supposed to stay here then. not the entire way across it.

and drop drop drop drop! yessss! fucking nailed it! good on ya, little boy! that was intense! wait, how do i get up? or do i get up? maybe i don't. okay! well, i'm gonna leave this episode of this game here. i actually- when i started this off, i didn't think like "oh i'll do a full let's play on it" because

i just wanted to play the game and i want to show it off for a video, but i probably will. i'll probably do the entire game because it's just so cool and i love it so much, already and i can't wait to see like what the hell is going on in the game. i-i want to- i want to know what this big secret is. and i hope it's nothing too ambiguous at the end of it, like when you finish it, you're just kind of left to figure it out for yourself. because limbo kind of did that. it ended and you were like, "...what?" kind of thing, so hopefully it's not too obscure, because then i might not get it, butanyway...

thank you guys so much for watching this episode! if you liked it, punch that like button in the face! like a boss! and high fives all around! *wa-pish!* *wa-pish!* but thank you guys (and girls) and i will see all you dudes... in the next video!!! i hope you don't drown, little boy. i hope you have enough energy to just stay there forever.

don't drown like jack dawson. jack dawes. dawson? dawes? who cares.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

puppets for jesus

man: when i think of my wife, i always think of her head. i picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brains, trying to get answers. the primal questions of any marriage. "what are you thinking?" "how are you feeling?" "what have we done to each other?"

(frogs croaking) (dog barking) (birds singing) (bird cawing) ♪ ♪ (sighs) (indistinct chatter) woman: well, the irish prince graces us with his presence.

his majesty prefers not to be moistened. i got you a present. aw, i hated this game. you loved it. thank you. i'll add it to the collection. can you pour mea bourbon? what's up, jitters?

(chuckles) well, if you're notgoing to talk, i'm gonna haveto fill the silence with another excruciating storyby margo dunne. let's see, i could tell you about my recentcustomer service experience changing internetservice providers. i like that one. or how about the time

i saw that woman who lookedexactly like my friend monica, but it wasn't monica;it was a total stranger who... who was also named monica. made it kind of interesting. it's great. i'm just having a bad day. amy? it's our anniversary. five years.

five? that came fast. and furious. amy: i'm so crazy, stupid happy. i met a boy. a great, sweet, gorgeous, cool-ass guy. (laughing) excuse me, miss?

yeah, i just wantyou to be careful where you put down that, uh,monk-brewed belgian wheat beer, 'cause the party's down to,like, three beast lights and a bottle of pucker. might attractsome desperate characters. could. i mean, the amishare on rumspringa. they already relieved meof my artisanal meat platter. finally, someone tells mehow to pronounce that word. "meat"?

yes, "meat," one syllable. who's beer ami about to drink? don't tell me. let's see, who's your type? i don't see yousitting quietly while he bloviates on hispost-grad thesis about proust. uh-oh, is that him? ironic hipster so self-awarehe makes everything a joke? i prefer men who are funny,

not "funny." mmm. what type are you? corn-fed, salt-of-the-earthmissouri guy. missouri. mm-hmm. cute. hmm. native new yorker. world ends at the hudson.

what's your name? amy. well, amy, who are you? a, i'm an award-winningscrimshander. b, i'm a moderatelyinfluential warlord. hmm. c, i write personality quizzesfor magazines. okay, well, your handsare far too delicate for real scrimshaw work,

and i happen to bea charter subscriber to middling warlord weekly,so i'd recognize you. i'm gonna go with c. and you? who are you? i'm the guy to save youfrom all this awesomeness. oh, so you write fora men's magazine. god, does that make youan expert on being a man? (chuckles)no.

it's, you know, what to wear, what to drink. how to bullshit. never with you. ha, ha. no, i mean it. it's hard to believe you. why? i think it's your chin.

my chin? (chuckling):yeah. it's quite villainous. okay, how's this? a hundred percent true. no bullshit. okay. man: we all move to new york, and we end up livingin these little cubby holes,

and that's not it. come outside. then you're in it. (horns honking, traffic sounds) what? you have to see this. hey. how we doing, guys? doing good. hey.

good? yep. i have to kiss you now. is that right? i can't let you gothrough a sugar storm unkissed. oh, wait a sec. there you go. nick dunne... (pants)

i really like you. so, is amy gonna do oneof those anniversary... treasure hunts? you mean the forced marchdesigned to prove what an oblivious and uncaring assholeher husband is? wow. nick:life. i don't remember the point.

deep hasbro thoughts. spin. what was the clue last yearshe got so mad about? "when your poor amy "has a cold, this dessert just must be sold." the answer? i still don't knowthe answer, go. go: few years ago,you'd have known.

nick:few years ago, it was fun. year one,the traditional gift was paper. she got me a beautiful notebook, told me to go write my novel. what did you get her? a kite. she'd never flown a kite. anyway, year four, flowers. she led me outside

to the dying rosebushin the backyard. ugh, that's symbolic. yeah. what's the gift for five? wood. so what did you get her? there's no good gift for wood. i know. go home,fuck her brains out, slap her with your penis,

"there's some woodfor you, bitch." (phone rings) the bar. why, yes. hang on one second. hey, it's watchful wally. hey, walt. what's going on? oh. thanks very much.i'll be right there.

all right, bye-bye. hey, buddy. what are you doing out here? thanks, walt! (nick sighs) ame? nick (in distance):amy! hello? come on in.

mr. dunne? hi. i'm detective rhonda boney. this is officer james gilpin. we understand there areconcerns about your wife. i don't know where my wife is,and i came home to this. now, i don't... panic easily, but... it's weird, right?

mind if we look around? please. how longyou two been here? two years in september. used to live in new york. city? yeah. i was a writer. we were both writers. why'd y'all move back here?

my mom got sick. oh, i'm sorry. how is she? she's dead. i'm so sorry. what do you do now for work? my sister margo and iown the bar downtown. oh, the bar. love the name.

very meta. thanks. pretty things. (whispering):stay. my office here. beautiful dress. date night? it's a guest bedroom there. cat's room on the end.

i checked up here. this is the kitchen, obviously. this is the, uh... this is my wife's office, amy's office. wow. impressive gal. should i be concerned? i remember these.

i loved these books. wait a minute. your wife is amazing amy? yeah, she is. amy: amazing fucking amy is getting fucking married. that's how the night started, with me, regular, flawed, real amy, jealous, as always,

of the golden child, perfect, brilliant, amazing amy, who's getting fucking married. when i was ten,i quit cello. in the next book,amazing amy became a prodigy. did you play volleyball? amy:i got cut freshman year. she made varsity.

when did you have a dog? she got the dog. puddles made her more relatable. i love your parents, but... (chuckles) they reallycan be assholes. man: nick! sir. thanks for coming, man. no problem.

hey, sweetheart. big night for your mom. it would mean so much if you would talkto a few reporters, bloggers, give thema little amy color. people want tohear from you. we can't stay long. fantastic. 15 minutes, tops.

this is whyi have my brownstone. my trust fund. i know i can't complain. your parents literallyplagiarized your childhood. no, they improved upon it and then peddled itto the masses. i thought you weregonna wear white to match the wedding theme. i thought that'd be creepy.

if it's worth doing, it's worth doing... nick: hold up. i know how this ends.don't-don't tell me. it's... what's the saying? you're very cute, nick. amy, you know whatwould make dad's night? oh, i'm on it. i love having strangerspick at my scabs.

woman: i'm curious whether it's difficult for you to see amazing amyheading down the aisle. woman 2: and thisbig party celebrating this fictional wedding? man: because it'smy understanding you are not married. is that correct? correct. amazing amy has always beenone step ahead of me.

nick: excuse me.i'm sorry, i just... have a few questions. it's you. well, i'm here, strictly journalistic capacity. now, you hadthe distinct pleasure of dating nick dunnefor how long? two magical years. "two magical years."

in the course of that time,you've had the opportunity to performsuch gracious gestures as not correcting nickwhen he pronounced "quinoa" as "kween-o-a." an understandable mistake. he also thoughtit was a fish. he thinks velveeta is a cheese. you also managedto appear shocked and delighted when nick'selderly mother breaks

into an impromptu renditionof "new york, new york" every time she sees you. ♪ these bag of bone shoes... ♪ that's just frightening. you also bought nick his very firstpair of scissors. and matching stapler. amy elliott,you are more than amazing. you are brilliant,yet entirely un-snobby.

you challenge me,you surprise me, and... fun factfor the readers, you have a world-class vagina. (laughter) now, my colleagues tell methat you are not yet married. i'm not. isn't it time we fixed that? amy: and then... the night wasn't so bad anymore.

(indistinct radio transmission) and it's done. crossed off the list. now, normally,we would not treat this as a missing persons caseso quick, but given the sceneat your house, and given our spike in violent crime of late, we are gonna take this very,

very seriously. okay, good. so we've got forensics over at your got somewhere to stay? uh, yeah, i could stayat my sister's. okay. we're tracking amy'sphone, her credit cards. we will organize searches,put up flyers. we're gonna holda press conference tomorrow. you're gonna havea press conference?

yeah, want to getthe word out, right? yeah, just... all of a sudden, i feel like i'min a law & order episode. (hums theme song) now, uh, time is of theessence in these cases, but that said, you want towait and call a lawyer? absolutely not;just want to help. okay, so you and amyhave been here two years. you tend bar.

i own... the bar. and i teachcreative writing at mbcc. no kids? not yet. so, what does amydo most days? woman with all those degrees,what does she do? well, she keeps busy. doing what? i mean...

she's a voracious reader. so she's always got a book in her hand. well, days can get long. i mean, i know a few housewives, that evening glass of winestarts coming at noon. or prescription pills. gilpin: just last week,we had soccer mom, nice lady, got her teethkicked in over some oxycontin.

ever since that mall went bust,half the town out of work, we cannot keep upwith the drug problem. yeah, i'm pretty surethat's not it. has amy got friendswe can talk to? um... no, not really. no friends? this whole town? she was very close with my mom before shepassed away, and, uh...

you know, we have a prettyserious homeless problem in our neighborhood. i think maybe you guysshould check that out. we'll look into that. boney:so, you got to the bar around 11:00 today. where were you before that, just to cross that off? well, i was home.

i left at 9:30. got a cup of coffee, newspaper. i went to sawyer beachand read the news. did you visit with anyone there? well, i mean, i kind of go tosawyer beach for the solitude. so, your wife hasno friends here. is she kind of standoffish? ivy league rubspeople the wrong way? she's from new york.

she's complicated. she's... got veryhigh standards. type a? boy, that can make you crazy if you're not like that. you seem pretty laid-back. type b. speaking of which, amy's blood type?

god, i don't know. i'd haveto look it up at the house. you don't knowif she has friends, you don't know whatshe does all day, and you don't knowyour wife's blood type? sure y'all are married? i-i... maybe it's type o. where are her folks? new york? can they get here in time forthis press conference tomorrow?

tomorrow? i-i have no idea.i haven't talked to them. you haven't calledyour wife's parents yet? i mean, you can't get a signalin this building. i've been in heretalking to you. well, call them,please, nick. now. fine. should i knowmy wife's blood type? (softly):no. i apologize, marybeth.

i didn't know what was going on. i... you know, now i'm...i'm at the station, and the copsare at the house, and it's serious,and i'm calling you. there's a lot of things that arebeing juggled right now. i-i'm standing right nextto detective rhonda boney, who's the lead investigator

on this, and she's ju... my mother-in-law would liketo speak with you. this is detective boney. man: i want to go home. boney: yes, ma'am. man: i don't knowwhy i have to be here. boney: yes, ma'am, i know. man: i don't want to be here. i want to go home.

boney: yes, i know. dad? what? this is my father.what's going on? really? you're nick dunne? we've been tryingto get a hold of you all afternoon. i've just... been right wife is missing. bitch.

don't. your father wandered outof comfort hill after lunch. we found him walkingroute 79, disoriented. we've been trying to call youfor the last three... i don't get a cell signalin this building. i've been sitting20 feet away from you with two other policeofficers. you guys... sir, please don't take that tone with me.

stupid, dumb, ugly bitch. dad, stop. you want to drive him home? i think that'd be wise. thanks. woman (recording):this voice mailbox is currently full. ah... fuck. aw, get yourfucking hands off me. nick:thanks.

amy: everyone told us and told us and told us marriage is hard work. and compromise and more work. "abandon all hope, ye who enter." "when young amy'shope did wane, "she wandered here... amy: well, it's not true, not for me and nick. search of jane."

amy: with us, two years, it's just good. austen. you were an alienated teen, and only elizabeth bennetunderstood you. look at that. my god. (laughs) you... you naughty minx.

well, technically,we are supposed to fuck at the next stop. yeah. in keepingwith tradition, yeah. but i might be willing tobend the rules this once. god bless jane austen. (panting) (passionate moaning) (shushes) nick: i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said that.

now me. i got a... i'm enthusiastic. look at that. it's confirmed by the... oh. thank you. year two. cotton. it's... we had that joke that our sex wastoo good for ordinary, so these are2,000-thread... ah.

we're so cute. i want to punch us in the face. that's pretty great.i mean, that is pretty great. go: did they ask if you wanted a lawyer? i don't need a, i'll do this. well, did they askpersonal stuff about amy? you know, they asked, like, why didn't she have any friends?

what did you say? i said she was complicated. nick! everyone knows "complicated"is code for "bitch." (cell phone buzzes) oh, god. i feel sick. it's so just... it seems like the kind of thingthat would happen to amy.

she always attracts... drama? you can say it. it's just me and you. just because i don't like to be around amy doesn't meani don't care about her. anyway, whoever took heris bound to bring her back. (children playing nearby) woman:detective, excuse me?

i'm noelle hawthorne. i'm amy's best friend. well, great.where do you live, noelle? five doors down. 1032. wonderful. i wouldlove to talk to you. can i come by in half an hour? y'all know anything yet? i'm sorry.

i got guys on the clock in here.but you give me 30 minutes. but that's usually bath time. well, we'll talkin between shampoos. all right. so, what do you got? hey. well, that wasdefinitely blood spatter you saw in the kitchen. normally, kitchen,knives, food prep, not that weird, but that... is awfully high,

so i'm gonna ordera luminol sweep. well, okay. (cell phone dings) interesting. what's that? house is rented in her name. car's in her name. credit cards, utilities,phone bill-- all in her name. even his bar is in her name.

i don't know thatthat's so surprising. no. but it is humiliating. what do you got? it's with her, uh,unmentionables. well, we have our first clue. (rattling) i have to take a shower. no, don''ve been up all night. you want to look likeyou've been up all night.

(groans) hey, be careful today, okay? that's a weird thing to say. well, when you're upset,you bottle up. you can seem angry, like... please don't say, "like dad." or else you swing into your mama's-boycharm offensive, and that can feel glib, so...

perfect. i'll balance on theexact fucking edge of your emotional razor. okay. just be... myself? man (over radio):...sponsoring a raffle to benefit west county 4-h. raffling season ticketsfor mizzou football and free gas for a month.

buy your tickets at the wing hutor local tri-state tire stores. are you okay? oh, that's the phone number. (beep) your in-laws made it. hi, rand. hey, man. i'm detective boney. i'm the twin. margo.

we played tennisyesterday, nick. i just can't get over it. i know, marybeth.i am really sorry. i knew you nevershould've moved back here. we didn't havea lot of choice. we are all worried.we are all scared. but we are all here now. and we will find amy. together.

(reporters and photographersclamoring) should i just go first, and then you guyscan say something? good. as you know, my wife amy elliott dunne disappeared from our homeon the morning of july 5 under... suspicious circumstances.

man:louder! if anyone out there, uh, has any information, please come forward. i'm rand elliott. my wife marybeth elliott. should i have said my name? amy is our only child. she's bright, she's beautiful.

she's kind. she really is amazing amy. and, you know, there aremillions of people out there who grew up with herand care about her. we care about her,we love her, and... we just want her back. amy is a decorated scholar. she forged a successful career in journalism.

she returned hereto her husband's hometown, and she made a lifein her adopted home. now... amy needs your help. we're establishinga volunteer headquarters at the drury lodge. we have a hotline-- 1-855-4-amy-tips. and our web site is woman:mr. dunne! (reporters clamoring) that's all for now. thank you. (reporters continue clamoring) rand: amy is the kind of girlwho attracts admirers. right, nick? yeah, definitely. and we've had instances where

things got... scary. do you know aboutdesi collings? yeah, i knowall about desi collings. marybeth: he was obsessed.he attempted suicide after amy broke up withhim sophomore year. we had to file arestraining order. this would be high school?20 years ago? but he recently movedto st. louis.

that's just two hours away. but to be fair,he is from st. louis. rand:we also have tommy o'hara. this is only eight years agoin new york. she broke up with him,he got very physical. she filed charges. boney: what was the charge? sexual assault,threat, battery, what? i only know it was bad.

i didn't know this. boney: okay. uh, anything more recent? not that i know of. hey, nick? yeah? you got a minute? rand: thank you so much...(continues indistinctly) imagine our confusion.

a missing persons case, andin your wife's dressing room, we find an envelopemarked "clue." that's... for our anniversary. my wife does these...treasure hunts. i'm hoping you cantell me what this means. you want to solveamy's treasure hunt? it'll help me trackamy's movements before she disappeared. of course. okay.

uh, "although this spotcouldn't be tighter... it's a cozy roomfor my favorite writer." i know this one! amy: although this spot couldn't be any tighter, it's a cozy room for my favorite writer. after-school meeting, don't mind if i do. maybe i'll teach you a thing or two. well, well.what's it say? "clue two.

"hey, handsome man,let's go undercover. "you'll be the spy, "and i'll be his lover. "let's head on overto the little brown house. "we'll play hot, doting husband; sweet, loving spouse." these yours? no. you read the first clue.

randy professor,naughty student. i blush. me and my exjust swapped cards. where's thislittle brown house? i have no idea. (alarm beeping) (beeping) (alarm blaring) (phone ringing)

uh, nicholas dunne. (alarm blares louder) under my father's namewilliam dunne. (siren chirps outside) my wife's first this necessary? can you just turn the...the bell off? yeah, no, i know. it's,'s-it's, uh, uh, uh, it's puddles. right?or is it poodles?

we're good. (alarm stops) hello, stranger. fancy meeting you here. it's your dad's house, right? are you following me? what you doing? like you said,it's my dad's house. i come by once a week, make surethe place hasn't burned down.

but it looks okay. i'll walk you out. you know, i thought maybe this wasthe little brown house. from the clue. nope. still blue. (engine starts) amy: picture me-- i'm a girl who's very, very bad.

i need to be punished, and by "punished," i mean "had." it's where you keep goodies for anniversary five. both:"so, open the door. and look alive." (horn honks) bitch! amy: want to test your marriage for weak spots? add one recession,

subtract two jobs. it's surprisingly effective. promise me we'llnever be like them. like who? all those awfulcouples we know. those wives who treat their menlike dancing monkeys to be trained and paraded. husbands who treat their wiveslike the highway patrol, to be out-foxed and avoided.

i think i'm gonna be laid off. we're in a recession. if it happens,we'll deal with it. i'll probably be next. we have each other. everything elseis background noise. you are exceptional. my turn. my parents' publisherdropped them,

and they're in debtup to their ears. that's terrible. and they need to borrowfrom my trust fund. how much? almost a million. that's almost all of it. this is where you say, "everything elseis background noise." amy, if you're laid offand i'm laid off...

i said i'd do it. without talking to me? well, it's... your call. their money technically. you know what? you're right. everything elseis just background noise. (door opens) amy:hey.

more games? i just wantedto shoot some folks. what's the laptop for? laptopping. oh, i can give your parents $879,000 without talking to me. but god forbidi buy a video game without getting your permission. you are spending a lot.

you don't trust me. you don't trust my judgment. you certainlydon't trust my intention. what are you talking about? well, that's the basic tenet of a prenup, isn't it? why are you throwingthat in my face again? because it's easy to throw. nick, i don't get it.i don't get

why you're daring me to besomeone i don't want to be. the nagging shrew.the controlling bitch. i'm not that person. i'm your wife. (sighs) i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i just don't knowhow to do this. i've never not had a job. i flipped burgers,i painted houses. i don't... you'll get another job.

hi, go. what? hold on. what? amy: and suddenly, slow down. what is it? i knew everything was about to get worse. okay, tell mewhat's wrong. man (over speaker): all searchand rescue coordinators, we have a briefingin 30 minutes. 30 minutes.

we've got ten groups signed up to help in theblue rock springs road area. we're going to be heading out in about five minutes. bless you. father. we're here for you. hey, tom. mayor. nick, good to see you.

good to see you. hey, guys. hey. jodie. nick. thanks for being here. nick:oh, we'll find her. it's gonna be all right. man (over speaker):we're gonna be heading out if you can settleby the front door,

we'd really appreciate it.thank you. you look like hammered shit. you ever see that guyin the glasses before? boney: don't worry.we videotape everybody that comes in and outof these things. i mean, tend to get a lot of... do-gooders? freaks.

hey, i meant to ask you. noelle hawthorne? she lives on your street.amy's best friend? i've never heardthe name noelle hawthorne. she and her husbandhave triplets? oh. yeah. i mean, we might say hito them on the street. but "best friend"? no. excuse me, one sec.

man (over radio):uh, blue rock springs road team is going to beheading out in 15. he acted like noellewas a complete stranger. of course he did. you want these two right here. oh, look.he's being a good guy. so everybody can see himbeing a good guy. oh, you really don'tlike him, do you? what's to like?

woman (over radio):yeah, that'd be correct. we, uh, are going to be leavingin about five minutes. i've got a couple more teamsfor you, too. (phone buzzing) man (over radio):yeah, i'll make sure i do that. i have 15 with me, just to giveyou a head count, let you know. woman (recording):this mailbox is currently full. press one to... nick?

i just wantedto introduce myself. my name's shawna kelly. i am so sorry for your... troubles. thank you. that's kind. are you remembering to eat? well, a lot of cold cuts. i'm gonna fix you upmy world-famous chicken frito pie.

that's very kindand very unnecessary. you have to keep your strength. would you...? say "chicken frito pie." um... you know what? i-i'm gonna... would youdelete that picture for me? no! it's a nice photo. i know it is, but it's... just do me a favor, will you?

would you go ahead andplease delete that picture? you just press... what is wrong with you? could you please notshare that with anyone? i will share itwith whomever i please. man (over speaker):the buses are leavingfor sawyer beach... go:dude. marybeth is pissed. man (over speaker):all right, everyone,

remember to keepa straight line. marybeth. it's like... you're thegoddamn homecoming king. it was important to my motherthat i be polite, i be considerate,i be a gentleman. well, it looked likeyou were having fun. (quietly):i am in a nightmare! all i'm tryingto do is be nice to the peoplewho are volunteering

to help find amy. you're right. and i'm sorry. my god, this placeliterally smells like feces. (indistinct radio chatter) boney: in your searches, did you find any golf clubs, real fancy? how about a brand-newstratocaster? no, nothing like that.

well, all right. how big's that tv? it's not 65-inch. no, it's nowhere near that. kibble? excuse me? he asked me to feed his cat. oh, uh...

i saw some in the pantry. (doorbell rings) noelle:detective boney? officer gilpin? noelle hawthorne! now, i know y'all are in there. (doorbell ringing) would you please escortmiss hawthorne and her children back out to the street?

noelle: detective, i got to give you somepertinent information. detective boney? no, do not... no! boney: just remind her it is a possible crime scene. (blows whistle) look at that pie-eating grin, from a guywhose wife is missing.

(television muted) how are you doing? terrific. how's marybeth? she's a wreck. awesome. have you told me everything? course. everything?

why would you even ask me that? ever since youwalked into the bar that morning amy went missing, you seem, like... off. i am off. everybody's examining me and projecting their shit on me. all i want is tocome over here,

have a beer with you and not be judged. can we do that? of course. you know whati keep thinking? if mom were here? like i'm 12. nick, mom would fix it. i'm gonna go benadrylmyself to sleep.

love you. amy: so here's a strange new sentence: i am a missourian. bye, dad. no money, no jobs, no prospects. and then we heard from go. mama maureen, stage four breast cancer. so we moved to missouri. i don't mind. i...

i just wish he'd asked. nick is happy to be home. but i don't know if he's happy i'm with him. i feel like something he loaded by mistake. something to be jettisoned if necessary. something disposable. i feel like i could disappear. (insects trilling, phone buzzes) (insects trilling)

(clattering) oh, my god. i saw you on tv. okay, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. it's so crazy. shh, shh, shh. yeah, i know. she just vanished? she's just gone.

i've been so worried about you. well, where have you been? i called you 100 gotta pick up your phone. rehearsals. godspell. my sister's asleep inthe other room, okay? i needed to see you. i know. this is a bad idea. can you at leasttell me you love me?

i do love you, but we have to bereally careful right now. well, i've been so scared. between rehearsals. you told me i neededto have my own life. i know. we need to stop. i need you. touch me.

oh, stop it.stop it. okay.come here. sit down. did you, by any chance, tell anybody anything about us? even in texting,or on facebook... facebook? i use the disposable phone. you buy my presents in cash.i'm not stupid, nick.

i know, sweetie. did you leave a pairof red panties in my office? i don't know. maybe. they better be mine. sweetheart, think. i don't know. i'd have to checkmy red panty inventory. andie, i need you to takethis seriously, okay?

this is the last time we'regonna see each other until... until when? until it's safe. you were going to get a divorce. never say thatout loud again. i don't want to fight. i just want to be with you. andie... oh, oh, please.

i just really want... i can't. it's our last time together. let's make the most of it. nick:real quick. but then you have to go. amy: my husband has come undone. we moved to missouri to save maureen, but as it turns out, we couldn't.

(quiet chatter) it means a lot that you came. thanks for coming. we took a hit on the brownstone, and i used the last of my trust fund to buy him a bar. so far, it's just costing money. nick uses me for sex when he wants. otherwise, i don't exist. whew!

we should go tooutback tonight. that'd be nice. last night, i went from desperate to pathetic. i became someone i don't even like. the kind of woman i used to mock. you're out so much. stay home. i can't. i'm already late. well, then, can i come?

you would hate it. it's a bunch of my dorkyhigh school friends. do our code. i thought we weren'tgonna be that couple. okay, bye. hey, i've been thinking... something positive. maybe it's time. now is literally the worst time.

well, it'd be anew start for us. and for me, i would havea real purpose here. a child is not a hobby. not a hobby. an inspiration. we could've had this fightfour hours ago. i'm late. i didn't know it wasgonna be a fight. you really wantto be the couple

that has a babyto save their marriage? save? i... reboot, retool, rekindle, whatever! and you're gonna walk out the door now? yeah! i... yeah. you're a fucking coward.

no, it can'tgo on like this. oh, really? i won't. you won't? you won't? what, it's not goodenough for you? it's not even close! you stupid bitch! amy: what scared me wasn't that he'd pushed me. what scared me

was how much he wanted to hurt me more. what scared me was that i'd finally realized i am frightened of my own husband. (siren whoops) you want me to callfor backup? nah, i'll protect you. gilpin:jesus. they ought to burnthis place down. boney:seems like folks are trying.

gilpin: you really thinkthis is anything? cross it off the list. come on, let's go. boney: hey, jason. men: "...a new nation..." what's up, rhonda? "...conceived in liberty, "and dedicatedto the proposition that all men are created equal."

you seen this girl around here? jason:why do you ask? she was reported missing. men: "...or any other nationso conceived and so dedicated,can long endure." i remember her. gilpin: what'd she want? weed, pills? she wanted a gun.

i told her it'snot my thing. i felt bad, though. she seemed really desperate. said it needed to be smallso she could keep it close. are you sure this is her? you don't forget a girllike that in here. she was all in pink. it was valentine's day. amy: for valentine's day,

i thought i'd buy a gun. that is how crazy i've become. nick wants me gone, but he won't ask for a divorce. in his mind, i'm the owner of his bar, his only line of credit, the bitch with the prenup. i could go home to my parents, but i'd have to tell them the truth,

and i don't even know if i believe the truth. can i really think nick would hurt me? i'm being paranoid. crazy. it's just... i'd sleep better with a gun. (rooster crowing) nick: oh,shit. andie: hmm?

wake up, baby. wake up. my sister's gonnacome out here. all right. you gotta go. sorry to rush you. it's okay. here. let me help you. just get that... (grunts) careful.

very careful. here you go. promise mewe'll talk every day. okay. we will. promise. every day, nick,or i'll go crazy. don't go crazy. go:you fucking idiot. you fucking asshole!you fucking lied to my fucking face!

how old is she? she's in her early 20s. how long? year and a half. you lied to mefor over a year? go, if i told you,you would've made me stop. it's so fucking small. you're a liar and a cheat! you're just like dad!

how did you even meet her? she's one of my students. (gags) i thought writershated clichã©s. well, i'm not a writer. "oh, boo-hoo,i got laid off. i guess i'll fuck a teenager." look, it wasn't like that, okay? you have no ideahow shitty it was with amy,

how fucking terrible she made me feel. flyover boy. i would get knotsin my stomach just coming home,knowing she would be sitting there, dissatisfied, before i even walkedin the fucking door. this is so bad. if anybody finds out,you're totally fucked.

boney found a pair of panties in my office, where, occasionally,andie and i... i don't know whatthe fuck it means. are they super-twat's? her name is andie. she's not entirely sure. so we are dealingwith a 20-year-old who isn't surewhere she leaves her undies?

if they're notandie's, that means that they're amy's and she left them therefor me to find. nick, i was scaredfor you before, and now i'm fucking petrified. we're having a vigil tonightfor your missing wife, and this morning, you're kissingyour college girlfriend good-bye!can you imagine? have you watchedtelevision lately?

cable newsis all over your shit. i mean, what is wrongwith this barkeep? his wife's nowhere to be found, and here's nick dunnefor you, flirting. cute pic, huh? who is that? some fucking tragedy groupie. who the fuck is that? she was tryingto give me a casserole.

on the show today, we havedefense attorney tanner bolt, patron saintto wife killers everywhere. (tanner laughs) tanner bolt, would you actually considerdefending nick dunne? tanner:well, let me just say, as always, ellen,thank you for such a warm welcome. but, of course,i'd defend nick dunne.

listen, just because this guy isn't walking around weeping,that doesn't mean that he's not hurting. tanner, the hallmark of a sociopath is a lack of empathy. tanner: but the truth is, you'd have to be a sociopath to behave normallyin this situation,

whoa. no, no. because it's the most abnormal situation in the world. whoa, whoa, whoa. excuse me. tanner, tanner.are you trying to tell me that this photois remotely in the realm of acceptable behavior? i am so sick

of being picked apart by women. tanner:'re makingan awfully big deal about a snapshot. you need to hire tanner bolt. ellen: a picture's worth1,000 words, tanner bolt. you ever heard that phrase? i don't deserve that. innocent untilproven guilty. go: that's exactlywhat you deserve.

go home, nick. (truck engine idling) i can't believewe haven't arrested this guy. boney: we're notgonna arrest anybody just 'cause someblonde dunce says so. why you going so easy on him? you got a crush? one, i am conductingan investigation, not a witch hunt.

and two, don't talkto me that way ever. she was trying to buy a gun. we don't know who or what was scaring her, gil. give me the update. (sighs) no drug anglespanned out yet, so cross that off the list. talked to the nurses whocare for nick's father. guy's a bastard, buthe's weak as a kitten,

so, luminol lit up the kitchenlike the fourth of july. the blood is is amy's, type b, and we shouldhave dna soon. boney:thoughts on a weapon? trajectory indicatesblunt force-- maybe a club, two-by-four. she fell there, but i doubt she got back up. amy's medical records come in?

no, we'll have 'emlater tonight. my wife says he's a killer. well, if tiffany says... (indistinct conversations) woman:there he is. there's nick. (indistinct conversationscontinue) woman 2: the solidarityof our town is so important. man: hey, nick.good to see you. woman 3: hi.

thank y'all for coming out. thank you. god bless. we're praying for amy. hey, tony. how are you? gonna find her. rich. nick, you remember me? thank you so much. how's it going, nick?

god bless you, nick. (sighs) nick. you'll be fine. (rand sighs) nick (through microphone):thank you, folks. thank you forbeing here tonight. it just means the worldto our family. and to amy. as you all know,

my wife, amy elliott dunne, disappeared three days ago. and i want to implore anyone who has any information at all, help us. so hot. ew. he is so creepy. nick:i want to say something, 'cause i think some of youmight be wondering

and too polite to ask. i had nothing to do withthe disappearance of my wife. i'm cooperating with the police. i haven't hired a lawyer. i have nothing to hide. amy is my soul mate. she is brilliant, she's charming and wise.

i love you, amy. (quietly):asshole. i love my wife... so much. and i may not behavefor the cameras the way they want me to, uh, and-and if they want to punish me for that,that's okay. but i just want to ask you in the media,please... harass me,

but don't harassthe people of this town. (cheering) you need to mock somebody, mock me. noelle: nick! but please don't turnthis investigation into a circus. where's your wife, nick? let the police do their jobs.

what did you do to your pregnant wife? (crowd gasping, exclaiming) let's find... you tell 'em that, nick? you tell 'em amywas six weeks pregnant? (shocked muttering, chattering) nick: thank you foryour support tonight. let's find amy.

(nick clears throat) go ahead, if you guyswant to say something. (reporters shouting) gil, go, go. gilpin:no questions right now. stay back.everybody, stay back. boney:guys, come on. you know better. get off the grass.get down to the curb.

hey, gil... gilpin: on it. all right, y'all heard pictures. hello? hello? gilpin: come on, y'all. this is private property. nick: fuck. you scared me. want a drink? did you know she was pregnant?

i told you, noelle hawthorne'sfucking crazy. she doesn't even know amy. they look like prettygood friends to me. (door closes) look, i-i don't know, but it certainly doesn't proveshe's pregnant. we have her medicalrecords coming. so let's talkwhile we wait, okay? let's start over here,scene of the crime.

you see, we've seendozens of home invasions. dozens and dozens. this area right here, it lookedwrong from the second we saw it. whole thing looked staged. i mean, watch this. and yet, they remained upright throughout thislife-and-death struggle. i don't know.what do you want me to say? you do any housekeepingthe day your wife went missing?

okay, because our guys did a luminol test, andi'm sorry to tell you, but that kitchen lit up. amy lost a lot of bloodin there, nick, a lot. yeah, and thensomebody mopped it up. well, h... wait-wait a second. why would they mop up the blood if they're tryingto stage a crime scene? no blood and no bodysuggests kidnapping.

tells us to look at peopleoutside the house. like these homelessyou keep mentioning. boney: a pool of blood andno body suggests homicide. it tells us to lookat people inside the house, which is whatwe're doing here, nick. i see. so, how wasyour marriage, nick? 'cause right now,all we got's noelle. she says "not good."

hey, gil, what do you and yourwife argue about? what pisses you off? oh, money, lack thereof. boney:me and my ex, the same. i mention that because we've had a look atyour finances, nick. $117,000 incredit card debt. i pulled up someof the merchandise.

there are these funlittle splurges. nick:i didn't buy any of this stuff. i don't even golf! i do. you bought great clubs. i like the robot dog. this is identity theft. this is a felony! we needto find out who did this. all right, well, let's talkabout life insurance.

'cause in april, you bumped upamy's life insurance to 1.2 million. yes, i did. that was her idea;she wanted me to. you filed the paperwork! because she told me to! hold on a second. yeah? boney: for sure? she was pregnant.

this is insane. so, my question becomes... i don't want to talkto you again, ever, without a lawyer. reporter: margo! did yourbrother kill his wife, margo? (clamoring continues) oh, hi. nick: hold for...just hold on a second. let me finish.

let me... i hear you. i hear you. i was assurprised... i-i... i know you're upset. i had no idea she was pregnant. i was sh... listen, i-i thought so, too, but evidently that wasn't... you want to know the truth? the truth isamy didn't want kids.

well, i'm as surprised as you... you told meyou didn't want kids. (sighs) i was tryingto put a good face on. then, suddenly,you've got a pregnant wife. that's a problem for you. especially when you factor inthe secret teenage girlfriend. oh, stop watching ellen abbott. you have to fuckingtalk to me! i didn't tell youthat she didn't want kids

because she didn'twant me to, okay? because it would've just been another reason for youto hate her, and we had enoughof those already, so it was easier to just... lie to me? right? look, i wanted kids! when we first moved here,i went to a fertility clinic!

it didn't work? i did my part! masturbate. when it came time for amyto do her thing, all of a sudden it was like,"well, i don't know. you know what?maybe no, thanks." now who would believe you? this is a letter from the clinic notifying me that they'regonna destroy my sample

unless i contact them. so i gave it to amy. next day, i saw it in the trash. but you were alreadywith andie by then, right? i wanted a baby with amy. a year ago, amy being pregnant would've beenthe best thing ever! just... (sighs) "when your poor amy has a cold,this dessert just..."

this is the clueyou couldn't solve. a letter from desi. that creepy boyfriend of amy's? yeah, it wasthe fucking rich guy who would do anything for her. it just kept hangingover my head. it was disgusting. your prenup? nick, why have you keptthis stuff?

it's like a little box of hate. i don't know, go.maybe i hate her. i love you no matter what, but you need to tell me. tell you what? what are you asking me? are you asking meif i killed my wife? go? is that what you're asking me?

if i murdered my wife? i would never ask you that! reporters:margo! don't... walk on the glass. you have no clue, do you? boney: why was he here that night? his wife is missing. why come here?

(sighs) who cares? rhonda, we got this. let's make the arrest. do you know how hard it is to makea murder case without a body? well, it's incredibly hard. so i want one last thing. i want a body. amy: picture me.

i'm a girl gilpin:be careful. amy: i need to be punished. and by "punished," i mean "had." fuck. amy: it's where you keep goodies for anniversary five. so open the door... punish, wood, beach.

amy: and look alive. punish. wood. (reporters chattering softly) amy: i will practice believing my husband loves me and will love this baby. that this child might really save our marriage. but i could be wrong. because sometimes,

the way he looks at me, i think... man of my dreams, father of my child, this man of mine may kill me. he may truly... kill me. wtf? amy: i am so much happier now that i'm dead.

technically, missing. soon to be presumed dead. gone. and my lazy, lying, cheating, oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. nick dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. he took and took from me until i no longer existed. that's murder.

let the punishment fit the crime. to fake a convincing murder, you have to have discipline. you befriend a local idiot. harvest the details of her humdrum life and cram her with stories about your husband's violent temper. secretly create some money troubles. credit cards, perhaps online gambling.

with the help of the unwitting, bump up your life insurance. purchase getaway car. craigslist. generic. cheap. pay cash. you need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss, and america loves pregnant women.

as if it's so hard to spread your legs. you know what's hard? faking a pregnancy. first, drain your toilet. invite pregnant idiot into your home and ply her with lemonade. steal pregnant idiot's urine. voilã . a pregnancy is now part of your legal medical record.

happy anniversary. wait for your clueless husband to start his day. off he goes. and the clock is ticking. meticulously stage your crime scene with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt. you need to bleed.

a lot. a lot, a lot. a head wound kind of bleed. a crime scene kind of bleed. you need to clean poorly, like he would. clean and bleed, bleed and clean. and leave a little something behind. a fire in july?

and because you're you, you don't stop there. you need a diary. minimum 300 entries on the nick and amy story. start with the fairy tale early days. those are true, and they're crucial. you want nick and amy to be likable. after that, you invent. the spending, the abuse, the fear,

the threat of violence. and nick thought he was the writer. burn it just the right amount. make sure the cops will find it. finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. and if i get everything right, the world will hate nick for killing his beautiful, pregnant wife.

and after all the outrage, when i'm ready, i'll go out on the water with a handful of pills and a pocket full of stones, and when they find my body, they'll know nick dunne dumped his beloved like garbage, and she floated down past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women. then nick will die, too.

nick and amy will be gone, but then, we never really existed. nick loved a girl i was pretending to be. "cool girl." men always use that, don't they? as their defining compliment. "she's a cool girl." (coughing) cool girl is hot.

cool girl is game. cool girl is fun. cool girl never gets angry at her man. she only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner, and then presents her mouth for fucking. she likes what he likes. so evidently, he's a vinyl hipster who loves fetish manga. if he likes girls gone wild, she's a mall babe who talks football

and endures buffalo wings at hooters. when i met nick dunne, i knew he wanted cool girl. and for him, i'll admit, i was willing to try. i wax-stripped my pussy raw. i drank canned beer watching adam sandler movies. i ate cold pizza and remained a size two. i blew him semi-regularly. i lived in the moment. i was fucking game.

i can't say i didn't enjoy some of it. nick teased out of me things i didn't know existed. a lightness, a humor, an ease. but i made him smarter, sharper. i inspired him to rise to my level. i forged the man of my dreams. we were happy pretending to be other people. we were the happiest couple we knew. and what's the point of being together

if you're not the happiest? but nick got lazy. he became someone i did not agree to marry. he actually expected me to love him unconditionally. then he dragged me, penniless, to the navel of this great country and found himself a newer, younger, bouncier cool girl. you think i'd let him destroy me

and end up happier than ever? no fucking way. he doesn't get to win. my cute, charming, salt-of-the-earth missouri guy. he needed to learn. grown-ups work for things. grown-ups pay. grown-ups suffer consequences.

nick:wait. i need 20 seconds where you don't judge me,interrupt me or get angry. is that... is that all the stufffrom the credit cards? "where do you store goodiesfor anniversary five?" woodshed. yeah, my woodshed.

oh, that fucking bitch. i thought... it's all right. i would have, too. what's that present? let's find out. "dear husband, "i know you think you're movingthrough this world unseen. "don't believe thatfor a second.

i know where you've been, andi know where you're going." "for this anniversary, "i've arranged a trip. "follow the river, up, up, up. sit back and relax,because you are done." what's up, up river? up the river, prison. fucking crazy bitch. that's what this is.

she's framing me for her murder. you marrieda complete psychopath. the morningof our anniversary, i was gonna ask herfor a divorce. i just couldn't do it. i couldn't fake itfor another year, another day. then what happened? before i could say anything, she said, "i need youto go somewhere

and really thinkabout our marriage." she knew i would goto sawyer beach. so you'd have no alibi. she stage-managed me. she knew exactly whati would do, and i fucking did it. i went to the beach,i thought about our marriage, i came back and decidedi wanted a divorce. and by the time you got home...

she was gone. oh, you fuck. she's good. part of me was relieved when i thought she was gone. so... punch and judy puppets. remember, he beats judy to deathand kills that baby.

so i'm punch. okay, we already knew that, amy.what's your point? does missouri havethe death penalty? (birds singing,children playing outside) woman:hey, neighbor. been weeks since i hadanyone decent next door. well, i don't knowhow decent i feel. well, as long as you don't owna python and blast death metal at 4:00 a.m.,we're gonna be best friends.

all right. nice meeting you. i'm greta. i'm nancy. you going to the marina?i could use some creamer. oh, i'm sorry.i can't. i've got work to do. see you round! you will. come on.

show me that darling nicky smile. you asshole. nancy. it's hot again today.(chuckles) so, uh, where are you from? let me guess. nebraska. new orleans.

(man wolf-whistles) you know,i am an expert oiler. oh, i just bet you are. lotions and balms. ointment. i would hate for y'allto get tan lines. so sweet. okay. you know where i'll be. see, uh, we havethe same taste in men. i clipped iton a bathroom cabinet.

least you could do isnot keep his secrets for him. he's trying to watch the biggame and you just won't shut up. no, you don't seemlike much of a talker. (chuckles)oh, i got it. you caught your boy rubbing upon some hot little skank, and he apologized to youby busting you a good one. worse. worse? i went to the bar where he works

to surprise him. and out he comes with this girl who had no business being in a bar. on the very first night that we met, we walked by a bakery that was having their sugar delivered. and it was in the air, everywhere. a sugar storm. and before he kissed me,

he leaned in... and did this. and guess what. greta: what? he did the exactsame thing with her. that is the most disgustingthing i ever heard. (whispers):wow. thanks very much. (indistinct annoncementover p.a.)

well, we've gone mainstream. tanner (chuckling):all right, fine. listen, it's anappeals process, so we will attempt to appeal to them. mr. bolt. tanner bolt? nick dunne. i have been sitting bythe phone, my friend.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry. do you not believe me? no, i believe you. it's just the craziest thingi've ever heard. i mean, i love it. uh, but for you, it-it sucks. but you... but you got to havea grudging respect for your wife at this point, right? are you laughing meout of the building?

are you kidding me? i'm in. i'm way in. you came to the right guy. this is what i do, nick. this is why i have a$100,000 retainer. i win the unwinnable cases. $100,000? yeah, we'll figuresomething out. i'll give you aspecial "my wife

is skilled in the artof vengeance" rate. so, what's the plan? well, right now, it'sa he said, she said. she's telling a better story. no, nick. she is tellingthe perfect story. so we need to start todayto prepare your defense, should we need it,and if we decide to go with your version of the...

the truth. then we'll need to realignthe public's perception of amy. make them stop seeing heras america's sweetheart and see her for what she is, which is a mind fuckerof the first degree. now, that is ahuge realignment. we'll need othervoices besides yours. there has to besomeone out there that she's screwed within the past.

uh... there's a new york guy.uh, o'hara. tommy o'hara. eight years ago,she pressed charges against him. that should be easy to find. ex-classmate, desi collings. she said that he stalked her.he's in st. louis. you go talk to tommy, andi'll draw up the contract. told you you cameto the right guy.

apparently. tommy? thanks for seeing me. yeah, yeah, yeah. um, you're gonna want a drink. so, you know, she said you got physical with her. no, dude. she said i raped her.

first degree, felony rape. did you do it? (chuckles) yeah. i was looking at 30 years to life. did you get a trial? fuck no. do i look like i would do wellin the yard? i pled down, man.

sexual assault one,no jail time. that's something. oh, yeah, i've been unemployedfor the last eight years because i have to write"sexual offender" on every job application. i'm on a neighborhood watch list because i have to registeras a predator. i haven't had a datein almost a decade because if a girl googles me...

could you walk methrough what happened? i meet amy at this party,you know? we click. she's perfect. she's beautiful, she'ssmart, she's well-read, she's got an ass likea 20-year-old stripper. i think, "what's the catch?" a few months, it hits me. this is not going to be easy. girls like afixer-upper, but amy?

she annexed me. she made me her business. it was just too much. like, she went outand bought me ties. we must have gone20 rounds over that. ties. i mean, every... the whole thing just became... so you broke up with her. i just... i just backedaway, you know?

you know, gaveher some space. no big deal, right? so i thought. then one night, amycomes over to my place with a bottle of bourbon and abootleg of this band i love. and within two minutes,she's got my pants around my ankles, and sheis kneeling down, and... i-i know it's your wife. you had sex?

yeah, consensual. it was rough,but she was screaming for it. next morning, there'stwo cops at my door. amy has woundsthat are consistent with rape. ligature marks on her wrist and,you know, my semen. it looks like i'vetied amy to my bed and raped her. me. and then, guess what they find.

headboards on my bed,one on each side. the ties you wouldn't wear. you do know your wife. did you ever see her again? on tv, last week, with you. i thought, "there's amy. "she's graduated from being rapedto being murdered." mm!

you've beenwatching this, too? last night's bombshell. we just found out... was indeed pregnantwhen she went missing. kelly capitono,this makes me want to throw up. what is itabout a pregnant woman, a woman carrying lifeinside her, that turns meninto animals? capitono:ellen, this is an epidemic.

the third leading cause of deathamong pregnant women is homicide committed bya boyfriend or husband. let's not forgetabout the wife, ever. tonight, we welcome amy'sbest friend, noelle hawthorne. thanks for beingon the show, noelle. thank you, ellen. and let me just say this, amy would have loved you and all you do for women.

oh, that's nice. why don't you tell usabout your friend, noelle? amy was so nurturing. greta:oh, i'd love if just once someone was like,"she was a real rag." (greta laughs) she was beautifuland smart and kind. seems like a rich bitch to me. ellen: you two were neighbors?

amy: what do you mean? people love her. i don't know.she seems uppity. spoiled rich girl, married a cheating asshole. paid the ultimate price. noelle: the only secretwas her husband. we never met nick. he never introduced himself.

ellen: why was that, noelle?why do you think? well, i think we know why. (toilet flushes) because he had a violent temper. a little harsh. well, that's life, baby. and he knew i'd haveseen right through him. i mean, don't get me wrong.

i'm not sayingit's okay he killed her. i'm just saying,there are consequences. fuck yeah. noelle: i was tryingto support her, (crying):because she was so alone. and she was so innocent. ellen:you're a good friend, noelle. and you're a good friendof the show. thanks for coming on.

please tell me youlanded tanner bolt. tanner bolt landed me. i'm gonna try and seedesi collings on my way home. ...robot dog.yeah, did you hear this? nick:and, go... tanner's retainer is $100,000. that's just the retainer. listen, i've got$47,000 in savings. i've got $2,500 in an ira.

i'm approved fora second mortgage on the house. we will go from there. i love you. i love you, too. nick keeps his father,who has alzheimer's, in a facility. number of timeshe visited last year: one. oh, fuck!

his twin sister, margo,well, she is a peach. these two spend their daysin the bar amy bought them. playing what, lauren? playing house? what the fu...? you know, twin siblingsoften enable and abet. while i never examinednick or his sister, they both seem very, very close. it's twin-cest.

disturbingly close, lauren. and so, we closewith a question: what kind of moral rotallows a beautiful, talented, kind, smart, loving mother to vanishwithout the heavens hearing her outraged cry? can i bum a cigarette? amy elliott dunne, we care about youand we will not forget.

and you know what elsewe won't forget? missouri has the death penalty. amen. (giggles) (line ringing) (woman speaks indistinctly) i'd like to reportsome strange activity near the woodshed on the propertyof one margo dunne.

mr. dunne. mr. collings. i know you. i saw you at thevolunteer center. i wanted to help. well, i hope youdon't mind me coming by. i got your addressfrom this letter that you wrote my wife. amy and i believe

in the lost artof letter writing. i always wonderedwhy you kept in touch after... everything. you were together for two yearsin boarding school, right? she was my firstserious girlfriend. why did you break up? that's a strange question. did you treat her bad?did you cheat on her?

that's a rude question. let me tell youwhat amy told me. she dumped you,you completely unraveled, you stalked her,you threatened her, and you attemptedsuicide in her bed and were institutionalized. your wife is missing, and you came all this wayto tell me this? well, i thought there might beanother side to this story.

man (over radio):the missing persons case of amy elliott dunne--she is the beautiful blonde, the inspirationfor the amazing amy kids' book series--disappeared from... (laughter, indistinct chatter) hey. reading that diary again? you know how it ends. it interests me. hey, rhonda.

hmm? "he's gonna kill me." the end. why'd he go to his dad's houseto burn it? it's private.there's no one there. well, why didn't he makesure it actually burned? (sighs)'cause he tripped the alarm. you were up his asswith a flashlight. (groans) the whole thingjust feels hinky. like finding an envelopemarked "clue."

you ever hearthe expression, "the simplest answeris often the correct one"? actually, i've never foundthat to be true. good night. night. elvis is in missouri. thank god. come on in. first thing you have to understand about amy, she loved to teach lessons.

play god. yeah, old testament god. okay. keep talking. so she finds out i've beencheating on her with andie, decides to teach me a lesson. fakes her own death,frames me for it. blood in the house,credit cards, life insurance. she does the treasure hunt. now, the treasure huntis critical.

she's taking us on a tour of my infidelities. rubbing my nose in it. and she leaves cluenumber one for the police, which will lead them backto my office, which is a place where andieand i would often... and she leaves a pairof red panties. right. racy, looks bad. clue two.

my father's house.another place where andie and i wouldoccasionally have relations. clue three? woodshed. also a location... we had limited options. a hotel. amy would have seenthe credit card bill. put it on andie's credit card. andie's statementwent right to her parents.

ew. hey, nick, margo,can we head over to the little brown house?this leads us to what? my dad's house. dad's house is blue. (sighs)after the divorce, when dad wasn't coming around, i used to pretendthat he was a spy named mr. brown, who,

for the sake of hischildren's safety, had to deny their existence. you never told me that. you told her that? we got incriminatingred panties in your office. we got a showcase showdownworth of crap in your woodshed. so, what in god's nameis at your father's house, nick? and be honest. i honestly have no idea.

well, whatever they found, i think it's safe to assumethat it's very bad. we got a lot of uncontained issues here. nick, do you have any ideaas to what andie's mind set is? well, we haven't communicatedsince the vigil. okay. amy's parents? no, it's... more pressure. we got a hurtyoung girlfriend

who will no doubt go publicat any moment. no, andie won't do that. she will. they always do.don't take it personally. amy's got us in aninteresting bind. we need to tell the copsabout andie. whoa, really? right now, andie just gives you another motive.

we need to tell the copsabout the woodshed. we need to beon the front end of that. but i'm going to warn youas to what will happen. they'll go after margo. they can't do that, can they? she's your accomplice. she helped you hidethe evidence. in all likelihood,she knows that you killed amy. well, what arewe going to do?

we find amy. no. any other strategyis missing the point. now, i've got twoex-secret service guys that are really good.i'll put them on it. but where do they start, nick? where would amy go? ow! are we keeping score? (man grunts)

greta: hey! i thought we were steering clearof men for a while. he's nice. because he wantsto fuck you. she's still moping about her ex? he got cheated on, too. we three are the saddest sacksin all the ozarks. i'm not sad. i'm angry.

i almost drank myself to deathwhen my wife left me. i was gonna kill myself.can you believe that? don't give him the pleasure. i was going todrown myself in the gulf of mexico, let myself be dinnerfor great whites. gulf is bull sharks,miss nawlins. why should i die? i'm not the asshole.

please put thaton a t-shirt. ooh! oh! miss moneybags. i thought you saidyou were broke. that's a fat wad. it's mostly singles. singles?what are you, a stripper? (greta chuckles)

swamp girlsor treasure chest? greta:we're just teasing. don't they tease peopledown in nola? ellen: we can expect nick dunne's arrest any day now. we've got blood in the house,huge debt, an unwanted pregnancy, and we have amy elliott dunne, missing for five days, crying out for justice.

(clattering outside) we'll be right back. (tv continues indistinctly) (shouting in distance) tanner has a very bad idea he's going to pitch you. you're doingsharon scheiber tomorrow in st. louis. it could go so wrong.

and you are going to tellher about andie. nope. whoa, whoa, whoa. that sounds likea very bad id... nick, you haven't heardfrom her in three days. this is a ticking time bomb. you've gotto throw yourself on it. people are gonna hate me. and thenthey will forgive you.

a guy admitting that he's agigantic asshole on television? people empathize with that. why don't we just put out a statement? they need to see you. sharon's specials,they get ten million viewers. she is a crusader. if she takes you onas a cause... she's going to askreal questions.

i will drill you as ifyou're doing a deposition. what to say,what not to say. a trained monkey? a trained monkey who doesn't getlethal injection. nick, this case is about what people think of you. they need to like you. now, you do this,and you will reach

millions of those people. maybe i only need to reach one. (knocking) greta:hey, baby. one minute. hey. you clearing out? no, i'm just cleaning up. well, let us come inand say good-bye. i'll come by bef...

let us give you a hand. yeah, you got to cleareverything out here. dorothy is a real stickler. not even a spare hanger can you leave behind. got to make surenothing's tucked inside. a sock or... undies... or what have you.

you did a real good job. where is the money, sweetheart? look under her dress. he talked you into this? i talked him into it. the second you leave,i'm calling the cops. your glasses are fake. your hair's dyed all hamster. you say your name's nancy,

but you don't even answerto it half the time. you're hiding, and i don't knowwhy, and i don't really care. but you ain't gonnacall the cops. i don't think you've everreally been hit before. (grunting) holy shit. sorry, but we reallyneed the money. greta: next place,be more careful, okay? there are a lot of people outthere a lot worse than we are.

(muffled screaming) (thunder rumbling) excuse can't sleep here. no, i... yeah, no,i said i was robbed. what? what? no, i can't...still can't hear you. i-i... i don't know where i am. i-i'm... somewhere near... (sobbing)

i did not kill my wife. why don't you try it again? a little less wooden. i didn't kill my wife. what are you doing? every time you look smug or annoyed or tense, i'm gonna hit youwith a gummy bear. that supposed to make meless tense?

let's try it again. mr. dunne, fromwhat i understand, you and your wifehad some bumps. yeah, we had some tough years. um, i lost my job. you both did. we both lost our jobs. uh, i had to move back homeso we could take care of my mother,who was dying of cancer,

and my dad, who had... your dad's scorched earth. let's talk about your mom,how close you were. go on. for a while,things had been building up. "built up" implies that an explosion is coming. no. all right. at a certain point,we got on the wrong track. i had a moment of weakness.

your moment was over 15 months. i disrespected my wife. i disrespected my marriage. and i'll always regret it. that works. don't be afraid to play upthe doofus husband thing, nick. "i was an idiot.i'm a fuckup. everything i do is wrong."

what men are supposedto do in general. tanner: how do you feel? feel good. go, can youpass me that box, please? it's amy's33rd birthday present to me. you hate that watch. no, go, i love that watch. just like i love this tie. just like i love my wife. (muffled music playing)

(crying):i'm sorry. (sniffles) good god. last week,i threatened to leave, and he said he'd find meand he'd kill me. so i disappeared. (crying):i lost the baby. i couldn't eventell my parents. i'm so ashamed,and i'm so afraid.

well, he is looking for you. he showed up on my doorstepthree days ago. he tracked mefrom my letters to you. you saved them. knowing you were out therewas the only thing that's kept me goingthese past few years. let's go to the can explain everything. no, i can't turn up now. i'd be a pariah.everyone would hate me.

is it wrong to want nickto go to prison? he should go to prisonfor what he's done. (distant cheering) i'm setting you upat my lake house. it's utterly secluded. why are you so good to me? man: excuse me. you know why. excuse me.

i know you, don't i? you're one of thenolan girls, right? no, we're from winnipeg. excuse us. we should leave. just a second. that was boney. i'll call her later. tanner.

nice to see you. sharon! hope this is worth my while. well, you're goingto be very happy. sharon. miss scheiber. thank you so muchfor doing this. can i get you anything to drink or eatbefore we get started?

no, i had some gummy bears. what the fuck? i'm sorry? reporter (over tv):...a major shocking development in the amazing amydisappearance. we go live for that story now. oh, you little slut. my name is andie fitzgerald. i met nicholas dunne

when he wasmy creative writing teacher at mill valleycommunity college. why is she dressedlike a babysitter? i am deeply ashamed of having been romanticallyinvolved with a married man. the girl with the giantcome-on-me tits. andie: i truly believedwe were in love. now she lookslike a fucking mennonite. i know that is no excuse.

no, it is not. andie: i do not, in my heart, believe nick dunne would have killed for me. my prayers go outto everyone who loves amy. (crying): i apologize forthe pain this has caused them. we have loved nick dunnelike a son. that love ended today. we trusted him.

come on,you're staring at ghosts. and he met our trustwith lie after lie. we now absolutely believenick is involved in the disappearanceof our daughter. our amazing amy. well, this just gotvery exciting. we need a moment. we're gonna haveto bow out of this. nothing has changed.

everything has changed. an hour ago, we wereahead of this. now... listen, i can handle this. we're on the defense. this is a completelydifferent dynamic. i can handle it. she's going to eat you alive. just trust me. great.

mic him. (phone beeping) (crowd chattering) (sharon vocalizing,warming up voice) one, two, three, four, five. he shouldn't smileat the makeup artist. yeah. no kidding. man: roll tape.

five, four, three, two... go: seriously, i can't believe how fucking good you were. amy brings outthe best in me. tanner: all right. keep ittogether, you two. at least for thenext 24 hours. people still hate you. women want to scratchyour eyes out.

andie was really good tv. she's a good person. well, thereinlies the problem. ride this out,and when sharon airs tomorrow, we'll be lookingat a whole new you. but until then, don't show your face. welcome. make yourself at home.

i've got music,satellite, netflix. ellen:a 20-year-old girl. he was her teacher.let me tell you, this guy is just despicable. roku.internet, obviously. ellen: he makes my skin is a supposedly grown man, entrusted with the educationof a young woman... desi: if there is everanything you have a taste for and you can't find it,just let me know,

and i will get it for you. ...and he uses his position for what? for sexual predation.instead of the a-b-c's, he taught her the birdsand the bees. and just think how her mothermust feel at a time like this. wine cellar's downstairs. her sweet, young daughter goes off to college,full of promise, exc... i'll get you some clothes, too.

not that i don't appreciate bait shop chic. the floors are heated. just dial to your liking. there's robes and towels. the shower has steam. the bathtub has a massage cycle. there's a great view,if you're in the mood. blackout curtainsif you're not.

the bed is savoir. you'll never get a better sleep. oh... oh, this isjust what i need. i'm so exhausted. oh, i'll, uh... i'll leave you to it, then. amy, i am so happy that you are here. and i don't want youto worry for one moment.

there are cameras everywhere. the exterior, all alongthe grounds, the entryway. anyone who is caught coming or going... ...will be recorded. you are more than safe. and i am not letting youget away again. (remote chirping) good morning.

(gasps) don't do that! i need to feel safe. you are very safe. what have you been up to? nothing. amy, i'm not nick. it's hard for me. after so many yearsunder someone's thumb, i...

i know just whatthat feels like. you were never under my thumb. on your leash. never. a new start. decent clothes. hair dye. makeup. tweezers. there's a gymoverlooking the lake.

the sooner you looklike yourself, the sooner you'll feellike yourself. i'll get groceriesfor tonight. we'll watch sharon scheiberand finally move on. i think that's somethingi should watch on my own. nonsense. i'll be back. and i am looking forward to my reunion with amy elliott.

good evening,i'm sharon scheiber. tonight, exclusively... hurry up. a husband breaks his silence. not juston his wife's disappearance, but on his infidelityand all those shocking rumors. nick dunne, you're probably the most hated manin america right now. i probably am.

and i probably deserve it. i bought that tie. did you kill your wife, nick? i am not a murderer. sharon:but you were unfaithful. i was unfaithful. and i am deeply ashamed. sharon: and, on top of that,you allowed amy's parents, her friends, all thepeople in your hometown

believe that you werea loving husband, desperate to findhis missing wife. well, i am desperateto find my missing wife. well, you say that,but i'm wondering how you expect us to believe you,now that we know you're a liar. i didn't come forwardwith my affair because i knew it would make melook really, really bad. but i don't careabout that anymore. i just want to find my wife.

sharon:i'm just trying to get clear. nick:let me be clear. just becausei am not a murderer, doesn't make me a good guy. i'm not a good guy. i was a bad husbandto a great wife. i broke the vowthat i made to her. sharon:those are pretty words, nick. but what does thatreally mean to you?

it basically meansthat i was a con artist. i mean, i met amy elliottseven years ago. i was completely transfixed. amy can do that to you. i was this average guyfrom an average place with mediocre aspirations,and i met a woman who dazzled me. and i wanted her to love me. so i pretendedto be better than i was.

when we got married,i promised to be that guy. that guy who works harder. that guy who-who livesand acts and loves with as much passionas she does. but i failed her. instead of doing what was right, i did what was easy. sharon: you talk like a manwho believes he can make amends to his wife.

who believes his wifeis still alive. she is still alive. will you lookat that camera for me? will you look in the lens and talk to your wife? if she is out there, able tohear and see you tonight, what would you liketo say to her, nick? amy, i love you. you're the best personi've ever known.

and i've taken myselfto the woodshed for the waythat i've treated you. and if you come back, i promise i will spend every daymaking it up to you. i will be the manthat i promised you i would be. come home. sharon: regardless of whatyou thought about nick dunne before tonight's interview... nick: what does it say?

hang on. i think we can all agree... oh, my fucking killed it. they're going crazy for you. they disliked me, they liked me, they hated me, and now they love me. sharon:...with a candor and an honesty that's worthy of respect.

(sirens wailing) he's certainly earned mine. and he's given me a lotto think about what is it? as this tragic casemoves forward. i'm sharon scheiber. margo dunne, this is a search warrantfor your property. i usually ignore tip line calls,but a neighbor

was concerned about a strangeman around your woodshed. call tanner. okay. fuck! girlfriend's real cute, nick. is that what this is about? i have treated youmore than fair throughout thisentire investigation. i gave you the benefit ofthe doubt over and over. every time you saidsomething stupid,

i thought, "maybe he's just stupid." but i was wrong. that's what this is about. these the clubsyou don't play golf with? none of that is mine.none of this was put here by me. those are nice clubs. you got the makingsof a real man cave.

everything just waiting till the wifegoes away for good. go: nick! reporters: margo! nick:hey, you can't do that. of course we can. (mechanical whirring, barking) amy, it's time to move on. what can i do to help?

(exhales) i needsome time to think. that's the lastthing you need. desi... 20 years, you have kept me dangling. finally, last night, you came to me,and you chose me. follow that instinct;don't trust the instinct that left you beatenand homeless,

sleeping in your car,fearing for your life. i'm not gonnaforce myself on you. i understand whatyou're saying, desi. (crying): i've just been...i've been so mistreated for so long. i've forgotten how to behave. i'll move in here tomorrow, and we'll workit out together. i just...

want you to be you again. tanner: they only took margo to fuck with you. she's not spending anotherfucking second in there. i'm gonna go in, and i'mgonna tell 'em everything. we tell boney very little. without a body,without a murder weapon, their only hopeis a confession. so you let them doall the talking. that way we canjump-start your defense.

the truth is my defense. recognize these? yes. it's amy'sanniversary present to me. was that how she told youshe was pregnant, nick? mommy, daddy, baby--and that made you real mad? you recognize this? never seen thatbefore in my life. it's amy's diary. we found this atyour father's house.

is this your wife'shandwriting? he's not a handwriting ex... i think so; looks like it. our expertsthought so, too. you want to playa little true or false? sure. "and then he brushes the sugar off my lips so he can taste me." yeah, that's true.

you thought quinoa was a fish. (chuckles)that is also true, yes. she wanted to get pregnant--you assaulted her. i hit her?no, never happened. "pushed." it says "pushed." absolutely not. i never touched her. she tried to buy a gun. i doubt that,but i don't know.

shall i read the last entry? "this man may kill me." in her own words:"this man may kill me." it's kind ofa convenient end note. tanner:for future reference, the truth: you are nota handwriting expert. okay. i know. judy's missing handle.

big as a two-by-four, right?big as a club. we found this day one,in the fireplace in your home office-- wedidn't know what the hell it was, but fire in july, we bagged it. well, i've never seenit before, either. boney: we just tested doesn't erase blood, nick. so finally, nicholas dunne,you're under arrest

for the murder of your wife, nick: wait, wait. amy elliott dunne. do not say another word. what about my side? (low, indistinct radio chatter) more coffee? yeah, i'd love it. (inhales)

remember that timewe skipped school and drove to the cape? oh, god, yeah. lobster right from the ocean. this reminds me of that. (desi chuckles) never-ending holiday. you're not... bored?

desi, how could i be bored? you can discuss18th century symphonies, 19th century impressionists,quote proust in french. nick's idea of culturewas a reality tv marathon... with one hand down his boxers. i really have to get going. but i will be backjust as soon as i can. my keys.

that's how the kids wear it. (soft gasp) (sobbing, gasping) (door unlocks) dunne? you got one hellof a lawyer. hey. are you okay? yes. are you? let's go.

(sighs)so... what does this mean? well, you're out on bond. you can relax at homewhile we prep for trial. (crowd clamoring) keep your head down. (indistinct shouts) tanner, is there anyfucking lead on amy? i've got two of mybest guys on it.

she's air. come home, amy. i dare you. (thumping on window) (low grunt) (crickets chirping) (whistling a tune) (stops whistling) mr. collings is... home. hello, mr. collings.

i've missed you. i've been thinking. i don't wantto be without you. stay with me. and when all thisdies down, we'll go to greece,like you said. octopus and scrabble? (shuddering breath) how long do you thinktill it's done?

not long-- six monthsfor the trial; sentencing will be quick. he'll appeal. i can watch the rest overseas. (desi exhales) go slowly. but i want it. (continues panting) (desi pants, gasps softly)

shh, shh, shh,don't rush. just do it. (soft grunt) (exhales):ah... (moaning) harder. (rhythmic grunting) (grunting loudly) (blood splatters)

(grunts) (desi gasping) (desi choking) (gagging) (amy panting) (whimpers) (engine revs in distance) (tires screech, loud crash) (tires squealing)

(vehicle approaching rapidly) (tires screech) (loud crash) woman: i've never seenthat car here before. man: just get the camera. hold on. woman: is it hisgirlfriend or something? man:is that amy? it is. it's amy.

it is amy! man, it's her. (clamoring) (mumbles, sobs) (camera shutters clicking) (quietly):you... fucking... bitch. (crowd gasping) man: don't you worry, you'regonna have lots of babies. her wounds areconsistent with rape.

there was semen present. we'll make sureit's a match. yeah, it'll match. thank you very much.thanks. what do you think? we pals again? now that i knowyou didn't murder your wife, yes. kidnapping?

story's insane. she's on fairly heavypainkillers. i want to help. man: ms. dunne, i know what you've been through,so we'll keep this very brief. can you walk us throughwhat happened? that morning, the doorbell rang. so normal. i opened the door.

so strange. since high school,he won't ever go away. and i've just triedto be nice to him. answer his letters, keep him calm. oh, i've encouraged him. you can't blame yourself. he pushed inside. and he grabbed me.

but i got away,and ran to the kitchen, and he clubbed me. i collapsed. boney: that club was actually the handle toa punch and judy puppet. right. treasure hunt. i, uh... i'd hidden some puppets at go's... then how did desihave that handle?

i'd just found it. it must have fallen off. i... was holding it when desi pushed in, so he got it from me. about that woodshed... he took meto his lake house. tied me to his bed. back to the woodshedreal quick.

real quick. when you wentto place the puppets there, did you notice thatit was packed... lots of stuff. correspondingto purchases made on credit cardsin your husband's name. nick and credit cards--he buys, i nag.i don't know, probably. he hid a lot of stuff at go's;they're very close. now, may i go back

to where i wasbeing held prisoner by a man with a historyof mental problems? please continue, ms. dunne. desi assaulted me that night. every night. he tied me up like a dog. and then he'd punish me. starve me. shave me.

sodomize me. (crying): there werecameras everywhere. please find those...please find the tapes. gilpin:she slit his throat with a box cutter. how'd she manage to geta hold of a box cutter if he had her tied upthe whole time? can't you just be happyyour wife is home and safe? boney:amy, we found your diary.

it contains many concerning allegations of mental and physical abuse. well, it's the ugly truth. nick didn't want a baby. he has a temper.we had money problems. but i love him. then why did you tryto buy a gun? i'm sorry, i feel myself fading.

if i could justclarify one thing. if this case had been left inyour deeply incompetent hands, my husband would beon death row, and i'd be tied, still... spread-eagle... ms. dunne,you've been very brave. we're finished. now, i have to ask you... you feel safe goinghome with your husband?

we prayed to god, and godhas answered our prayers. amy dunne is home. now, i know there are a lotof questions and concerns, but for right nowwe want to sit tight and just be thankfuland grateful for this... miracle on the mississippi. excuse me. excuse us, folks.thank you. crowd (chanting):amy! amy! amy! man: amy, how do you feel?are you all right?

man: amy! woman: so brave, amy! man:we love you, amy! we love you! woman: you're my hero, amy! reporters: nick! (reporters quiet down) (shutters clicking) reporters: aw.

(overlapping chatter) hey, give us a shot! we love you, amy! woman:can we get a wave, nick? (cheering and applause) woman:we love you, amy. all right,you can stop pretending now. i'm not pretending. you were perfect!

the nick i saw on tv, that's the nick i fellin love with. you do know i was just telling you whatyou wanted to hear, right? that's how well you know me. you know me in your marrow. okay. you need to tell me exactlywhat happened. (soft panting)

take off your clothes. i need to make sureyou're not wearing a wire. (shower running) you killed someone, amy. you're a murderer now. i'm a fighter. i fought my way back to you. you killed a guy. you slashed his throatwith a box cutter.

you went on national television and begged for meto save your life. and i obliged. but i want that nick. i'm leaving. you really thinkthat's smart? shampoo? wounded, raped wife battles her wayback to her husband,

and he deserts her. they'll destroy you. neighbors will shun you. i'll make surethat no one forgets the pain you caused me. i don't wantanything to do with your groupies outside. once they go, i go.

give it the night. sleep on it. was there ever a baby? there can be. (exhales) (lock clicks) (birds chirping) man:hey, nick! hello, handsome.

crepe? ellen: she was his dream girl, and when this spoiled, rich, entitled little boycouldn't have her, he took her. it disgusts me that amy dunne, a bright, educated... you must be so proud. amy:and you drew that?

that is such a pretty picture. girl:can i have your autograph? oh, and what's your name? sign it to ava, please. it's been four hours. ava: thank you. nick?what's next for you and amy? right now it'sall about our marriage. when two people love each otherand can't make that work,

that's the real tragedy. (crowd murmuring) woman: true. (quietly):kiss my cheek. i can't believe that fuckingspider is america's sweetheart. nick:she told me she killed desi. not self-defense; murder. can't we get a wire? that's not gonna work.

she told you once before. yeah, because shehad me strip naked and stand in the shower. i swear, you two are the most fucked-up peoplei've ever known. and i specialize in fucked-up. you and amyunder the same roof? you should pitch thatas reality television. reporter (over tv):...amazing amy dunne

and the miracleon the mississippi. nick and i have been throughsome bad patches, we've had our dark days,but we thank you so much for supporting usin our new life together, for forgiving nick. really, your encouragementmeans the world. amy: really. thank you. oh, she is good. go: amazing amyand the humbled husband.

the real housewives of branson. take care of this guy, will you? i can't believe you'rejust leaving now. you are not at risk anymore. i'm the definition of "at risk." you got a book deal,a lifetime movie, you franchised the bar. you may want to thank her. just don't piss her off.

see you guys. elvis has left missouri. she had to have made a mistake.we need to check amy's story piece by piece. can you get... nick, i can't do anything. we had a national spotlighton us; we stained the rug. case is with the feds now.they're done. that doesn't meanyou have to be done. it does.

amy:what are you doing? couldn't sleep. let me tuck you back in. you know you can sleepwith me, right? yeah, it's just... i need more time. i would never, ever hurt you. i do need youto participate, though. i need you to do your part.

(water running) everything you have heardabout my wife is a lie. she is a calculating, murderous psychopath, and i have been complicit... amy: nick! (turns off faucets) nick? breakfast.

honey? we should hold hands. not the entire time,but on and off throughout. so, nick, how does it feelto have your wife back? (clears throat softly) it's fantastic. how many people are lucky enoughto get a second chance at love? "fantastic" isa little flippant. "amazing"?

i need you to admit that you got the credit cards, and that you hidall that stuff at go's, and that you pushed me. i'm gonna need thosethree things to feel safe. you have to own this, nick. don't worry. i know exactly what to say. (sighs)what a beautiful home.

i so appreciate you giving us this time, nick. and told people thati murdered my wife. well, i go where the story goes. you implied that i had carnal relationswith my sister. i didn't use the "i" word-- i saidyou two were extremely close.

you and a panel of nitwits diagnosed me as a sociopath. icebreaker. to go with your robot dog. i'll go find amy. she's downstairs. it's for you. open it. i don't needany more gifts from you.

i didn't touch you. you didn't need to. bullshit. i had noticeof disposal. i have that. you threw it out. the notice, yes. i want a blood test. i want a paternity test. i love tests. amy, you can teach

those people to hate meall you want. i don't care.i am leaving you. i won't have to teachyour child to hate you. he'll do that all by himself. oh, you fucking cunt! (amy grunts) i'm the cunt you married. the only time youliked yourself

was when you were trying to besomeone this cunt might like. i'm not a quitter. i'm that cunt. i've killed for you. who else can say that? you think you'd be happy witha nice midwestern girl? no way, baby. i'm it. look, you're delusional.

i mean, you're insane. why would you even want this? yes, i loved you,and then all we did was resent each otherand try to control each other, and cause each other pain. that's marriage. now, i'm getting ready. (low, indistinct chatter) (chatter stops)

go: i can't watch you play house with that thing for the next 18 years. i can't just walk away. you could get custody. no. i won't. and you know it. it's gonna be my child;i'm not gonna leave it. you want to stay. i have a responsibility.

it's not aboutwhat i want anymore. you want to stay with her. (crying) you're breaking my heart. go... you're my voice of reason. i need you with me on this. of course i'm with you. i was with you beforewe were even born.

nick: and we...we've been through the darkness. uh, we've come out... um, united. we communicate. we... we're honest with each other. we're partners in crime. and... ...we're gonna be parents.

(ellen gasps) oh... my goodness! oh, how exciting! oh! ellen (fading): what an amazing ending to... nick: "what are you thinking?" "what will we do?" captioned by media access group at wgbh