Wednesday, August 24, 2016

puppets broadway

captioning made possible bywarner bros. she isn'tcoming yet, toto. did she hurt you? she tried to,didn't she? come on. we'll telluncle henry and auntie em. [chicks chirping] aunt em! listen to whatmiss gulch didto toto! we're tryingto count.

but-- don't botherus now, honey. this incubator'sgone bad. we're likelyto lose a lotof chicks. the poorlittle things. miss gulch hit totowith a rake. she says he getsin her garden and chasesher nasty old cat. 70...dorothy, please.

he only does itonce or twice a week. she says she's goingto get the sheriff. dorothy,we're busy. oh, all right. how's she coming? ow! you got my finger. then get your fingerout of the way. there.

right on my finger. lucky it wasn'tyour head. zeke,what will i doabout miss gulch? i got them hogsto get in. you ain't usingyour head. you'd think you didn'thave any brains. i have sogot brains. why don'tyou use them? don't go bymiss gulch's place,

then toto won'tget in her garden, and you won'tget in trouble. you won't listen. your headain't made of straw. get in there before i makea dime bank out of you. listen, kid... are you going to letthat gulch heifer try and buffalo you?

don't be afraid. have a little courage. i'm not afraid. next timeshe squawks,spit in her eye. that's what i'd do. oh! oh! zeke! zeke! get meout of here! help!

oh! are you all right,dorothy? yes, i'm all right. i fell in, and zeke... why, zeke, you're justas scared as i am. going to let a pigmake a coward of you? what's all thisjabberwhopping? there is workto be done.

i know threeshiftless farm-hands that'll beout of a job. you and hunk getback to the wagon. someday, they willerect a statue to me-- don't startposing now. here. can't workon an empty stomach. have some crullers. dorothy toppled in-- it's no placefor dorothyaround a pigsty.

feed those hogs before theyworry themselvesinto anemia. auntie em, really, you know whatmiss gulch said she woulddo to toto? dorothy, stopimagining things. help us out today. find yourselfa place where you won't getinto any trouble.

someplace wherethere isn't any trouble. do you supposethere is such a place, toto? there must be. it's not a place you can get toby a boat or a train. it's far, far away... behind the moon... beyond the rain... ♪ somewhere ♪

♪ over the rainbow ♪ ♪ way up ♪ ♪ high ♪ ♪ there's a landthat i heard of ♪ ♪ once in a lullaby ♪ ♪ skies are ♪ ♪ blue ♪ ♪ and the dreams ♪ ♪ that you dare to dream ♪

♪ really do come true ♪ ♪ someday i'll wishupon a star ♪ ♪ and wake up wherethe clouds are far ♪ ♪ behind me ♪ ♪ where troubles meltlike lemon drops ♪ ♪ away abovethe chimney tops ♪ ♪ that's where ♪ ♪ you'll ♪ ♪ find ♪

♪ me ♪ ♪ bluebirds ♪ ♪ fly ♪ ♪ birds fly ♪ ♪ why, then ♪ ♪ oh, why ♪ ♪ can't ♪ ♪ i? ♪ [birds chirping]

♪ if happy littlebluebirds fly ♪ ♪ beyond the rainbow ♪ ♪ why ♪ ♪ i? ♪♪ howdy, miss gulch. i want to see youand your wifeabout dorothy. what hasdorothy done? i'm all but lame fromthe bite on my leg. she bit you?

no. her dog. oh, she bit her dog. no. that dogis a menace. i'm taking himto the sheriff to be destroyed. you can' mustn't. auntie em,uncle henry... you won't let her,will you?

we won't,will we, em? toto didn't knowhe was doing wrong. i ought to be punished. i let him goin her garden. if you don'thand him over, i'll bring a suit that will takeyour farm. what if she keepshim tied up? he's gentlewith gentle people.

that's forthe sheriffto decide. here's his order allowing meto take him-- unlessyou want to goagainst the law. we can't go againstthe law, dorothy. poor totowill have to go. here's whati'm taking him in, so he can'tattack me again. you can't take him!

go away,or i'll bite you myself! you wickedold witch! don't let hertake toto. i've got an order. stop her! put himin the basket, henry. the idea! don't,uncle henry. oh, toto.

[sobbing] [door slams] just because you ownhalf the county doesn't mean you canrun the rest of us. for 23 years,i've wanted to tell you what i thought of you. and now... being a christian woman,i can't say it! [barking]

toto, darling! oh, i got you back. you came back. oh, i'm so glad. toto. they'll becoming back for you. we've got to get away. we've got torun away. ♪ la da dumdo de dum do ♪

♪ la de dooh de do ♪ ♪ oh de do de do ♪ ♪ la do de dumla da de-- ♪♪ well, well, guests, huh? and who might you be? no, no.don't tell me. let's see... you're travelingin disguise. no, that's not right.

you're goingon a visit. no, i'm wrong. you're,'re running away. how did you guess? professor marvelnever guesses. he knows. now, why are yourunning away? don't tell me. they don'tunderstand you at home.

you want to seeother lands... big cities,big mountains. it's likeyou could readwhat's inside me. toto, that'snot polite! we haven't beenasked yet. oh, he'sperfectly welcome, as one dogto another. ha ha... let's see...where were we?

can we go with you and seethe crowned headsof europe? you know any?oh, you mean-- well, uh... i never do anythingwithout consultingmy crystal. let's go inside. come along.i'll show you. that's right. sit right down here.

that's it. ha ha. this is the same genuine, magic,authentic crystal used by the priestsof isis and osiris in the daysof the pharaohs, in which cleopatrafirst saw the approach of julius caesarand mark antony and so on... now, you'd betterclose your eyesfor a moment

in order to bebetter in tunewith the infinite. we, uh... we can't dothese thingswithout reaching into the infinite. yes.that's all right. you can open them. we'll gazeinto the crystal. ahh... what's this i see?

a housewith a picket fence and a barn with a weather vaneof a running horse. that's our farm. yes. there's a woman. she's wearing... a polka dot dress. her faceis careworn.

that's aunt em. her name is emily. what's she doing? i can't quite see. why, she's crying. someone has hurt her. someone has just aboutbroken her heart. me? it's someoneshe loves very much,

someone she's beenvery kind to, someoneshe's taken care ofin sickness. i had the measles once. she stayed right by meevery minute. what's she doing now? uh, she's... what's this? she's puttingher hand on her heart. she's dropping downon the bed.

oh, no, no... that's all. the crystal'sgone dark. you don't suppose she could reallybe sick, do you? i've got to go home. aren't yougoing with me? no. i have toget to her right away. goodbye,professor marvel.

thanks a lot. better getunder cover, sylvester. there's a stormblowing up. a usepeasant vernacular. poor kid. i hope she gets home. hurry upand get them horses loose. where's hickory? hickory!

doggone it! it's a twister! dorothy! everybodyin the storm cellar! henry, i can'tfind dorothy! she's in the storm! we can't lookfor her now! get in the cellar! auntie em!

uncle henry! aah! [cluck cluck] [cock-a-doodle-doo] [moo] [arf arf] we must be upinside the cyclone! oh, miss gulch! eh! heh-heh-heh-heh!

toto... i have a feeling we're notin kansas anymore. we must beover the rainbow. now i know we're not in kansas. are youa good witch or a bad witch? who, me? i'm nota witch at all. i'm dorothy galefrom kansas.

oh. well, is thatthe witch? toto's my dog. i'm a little muddled. the munchkinscalled me because a new witchdropped a house on the wicked witchof the east. that's all that's leftof the wicked witch. the munchkinswant to know

if you're a goodor a bad witch. witches areold and ugly. tee hee hee! what was that? the munchkins. they're laughing because i am a witch. i'm glinda,witch of the north. you are? i beg your pardon. i've never heardof a beautiful witch.

only bad witchesare ugly. you havefreed the munchkins from the wicked witchof the east. if you please,what are munchkins? the little peoplewho live here. it's're their national heroine. you may come outand thank her. ♪ come out, come out ♪ ♪ wherever you are ♪

♪ and meet the young lady ♪ ♪ who fell from a star ♪ ♪ she fell from the sky ♪ ♪ she fell very far ♪ ♪ and kansas,she says ♪ ♪ is the nameof the star ♪ ♪ kansas, she says,is the name of the star ♪ ♪ she brings yougood news ♪ ♪ or haven't you heard? ♪

♪ when she fellout of kansas ♪ ♪ a miracle occurred ♪ ♪ it reallywas no miracle ♪ ♪ what happenedwas just this ♪ ♪ the windbegan to switch ♪ ♪ the houseto pitch ♪ ♪ and suddenly ♪ ♪ the hingesstarted to unhitch ♪ ♪ just thenthe witch ♪

♪ to satisfyan itch ♪ ♪ went flyingon her broomstick ♪ ♪ thumbingfor a hitch ♪ ♪ and, oh ♪ ♪ what happened thenwas rich ♪ ♪ the housebegan to pitch ♪ ♪ the kitchentook a slitch ♪ ♪ it landedon the wicked witch ♪ ♪ in the middleof a ditch ♪

♪ which was nota healthy situation ♪ ♪ for the wicked witch ♪ ♪ who began to twitch ♪ ♪ and was reducedto just a stitch ♪ ♪ of what was oncethe wicked witch ♪♪ we thank youvery sweetly for doing itso neatly. you've killed herso completely that we thank youvery sweetly.

let the joyousnews be spread. the wicked old witchat last is dead. ♪ ding-dong,the witch is dead ♪ which old witch? the wicked witch! ♪ ding-dong,the wicked witch is dead ♪ ♪ wake up,you sleepyhead ♪ ♪ rub your eyes,get out of bed ♪ ♪ wake up,the wicked witch is dead ♪

♪ she's gone wherethe goblins go ♪ ♪ below, below, below ♪ ♪ yo ho! let's open upand sing ♪ ♪ and ring the bells out ♪ ♪ ding-dong,the merry-o ♪ ♪ sing it high,sing it low ♪ ♪ let them knowthe wicked witch is dead ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ as mayor ofthe munchkin city ♪

♪ in the countyof the land of oz ♪ ♪ i welcome youmost regally ♪ ♪ but we've got toverify it legally ♪ ♪ to see ♪ ♪ if she ♪ ♪ is morally,ethically ♪ ♪ spiritually,physically ♪ ♪ positively,absolutely ♪ ♪ undeniablyand reliably ♪

♪ dead ♪ ♪ as coroner,i must aver ♪ ♪ i thoroughlyexamined her ♪ ♪ and she's notonly merely dead ♪ ♪ she's reallymost sincerely dead ♪ this is a dayof independence for all the munchkinsand their descendants. if any! let the joyousnews be spread

the wicked old witchat last is dead! ♪ let them knowthe wicked witch is dead ♪♪ ♪ we represent ♪ ♪ the lullaby league ♪ ♪ and in the name of ♪ ♪ we wish to welcome youto munchkinland ♪ ♪ the lollipop guild ♪ ♪ we welcome youto munchkinland ♪ ♪ tra la la la lala la la la la la ♪

♪ tra la la la lala la ♪ ♪ from now onyou'll be history ♪ ♪ you'll be his-- ♪ ♪ you'll be history ♪ ♪ and we will glorifyyour name ♪ ♪ you'll be a bust ♪ ♪ be a bust ♪ ♪ in the hall of fame ♪ ♪ tra la la lala la la ♪

♪ tra la la ♪ ♪ la-- ♪♪ [boom] i thought you saidshe was dead. this is her sister,the wicked witchof the west. she's worsethan the other one. who killed my sister,the witch of the east? was it you? no. it wasan accident.

i didn't meanto kill anybody. well, my little pretty,i can cause accidents, too! aren't you forgettingthe ruby slippers? yes! the slippers! they're gone! what have you donewith them? give them backor i'll-- it's too late.

there they are, andthere they'll stay. give me backmy slippers! i'm the only onethat knows howto use them. give them back! keep tightinside of them. their magic must bevery powerful. stay out of this,or i'll fix you,as well! you haveno power here. be gone, beforesomebody dropsa house on you, too.

i'll bide my time. as for you,my fine lady, i can't attendto you now, but try to stayout of my way. i'll get you,my pretty, and yourlittle dog, too! ooh! you can get up.she's gone. it's all right.

you can all get up. what a smellof sulfur. i'm afraidyou've made an enemy of the wicked witchof the west. the sooner you leave oz,the safer you'll sleep. i'd give anythingto leave oz, but which is the wayback to kansas? i can't gothe way i came. the only personwho might know

would be the wonderfulwizard of oz. is he good,or is he wicked? oh, very good,but very mysterious. he lives inthe emerald city. did you bring yourbroomstick with you? no, i'm afraidi didn't. well, then you'llhave to walk. the munchkins willsee you to the border. remember, never letthose ruby slippersoff your feet,

or you will beat the mercy how do i startfor emerald city? it's best to startat the beginning. all you do is followthe yellow brick road. but whathappens if i-- just followthe yellow brick road. bye! my! people come and goso quickly here!

follow the yellowbrick road. follow the yellowbrick road? ♪ follow the yellowbrick road ♪ ♪ follow, follow,follow, follow ♪ ♪ follow the yellow brick,follow the yellow brick ♪ ♪ you're offto see the wizard ♪ ♪ the wonderfulwizard of oz ♪ ♪ you'll find he isa whiz of a wiz ♪ ♪ if evera wiz there was ♪

♪ if ever, oh, evera wiz there was ♪ ♪ the wizard of ozif one because ♪ ♪ because, because, because,because, because ♪ ♪ because of the wonderfulthings he does ♪ ♪ the wonderfulwizard of oz ♪♪ follow the yellow... now which way do we go? that way isa very nice way. who said that?

[arf] [arf arf arf] don't be silly, toto.scarecrows don't talk. it's pleasantthat way, too. that's funny. wasn't he pointingthe other way? of course, people dogo both ways. why, you did saysomething, didn't you?

can't you make upyour mind? that's the trouble. i can't make upmy mind. i haven't gota brain. only straw. how can you talkif you have no brain? i don't know. some peoplewithout brains do a lot of talking,don't they? yes, i guessyou're right.

well, we haven't reallymet properly, have we? why, no! how do you do? very well, thank you. i'm not feelingat all well. it's tediousbeing stuck here with a poleup your back. oh. that must beterribly uncomfortable. can't you get down?

down? see, i'm... well, i'm... well, here.let me help you. that's very kindof you. well... oh, dear,i don't quite see... of course, i'm not brightabout doing things. but if you'llbend the nail, maybe i'llslip off and--

oh, yes. whoops! there goessome of me again. does it hurt you? no. i just pick it upand put it back in again. it's goodto be free! did i scare you? no. i just thoughtyou hurt yourself. you weren't scared? no. of course not.

i didn't think so. boo! scat! boo! [caw caw] i can't evenscare a crow. they eat in my fieldand laugh in my face. i'm a failure becausei haven't got a brain. what would you dowith a brain? if i had a brain,i could...

♪ i could wile awaythe hours ♪ ♪ conferringwith the flowers ♪ ♪ consultingwith the rain ♪ ♪ and my headi'd be scratching ♪ ♪ while my thoughtswere busy hatching ♪ ♪ if i only hada brain ♪ ♪ i'd unravelevery riddle ♪ ♪ for any individ'le ♪ ♪ in troubleor in pain ♪

♪ with the thoughtsyou'd be thinking ♪ ♪ you could beanother lincoln ♪ ♪ if you onlyhad a brain ♪ ♪ oh, i ♪ ♪ could tell you why ♪ ♪ the ocean'snear the shore ♪ ♪ i could think of thingsi never thunk before ♪ ♪ and then i'd sit ♪ ♪ and think some more ♪

♪ i would not bejust a nothin' ♪ ♪ my head all fullof stuffin' ♪ ♪ my heartall full of pain ♪ ♪ i would danceand be merry ♪ ♪ life would bea ding-a-derry ♪ ♪ if i onlyhad a brain ♪♪ whoa! wonderful! if our scarecrowback in kansascould do that,

the crows would bescared to pieces! they would?where's kansas? that's where i live. i want to get back, so i'm going to seethe wizard of oz. if i went with you, would he give mesome brains? i couldn't say.but even if he didn't, you'd be no worse offthan you are now.

yes, that's true. but a witchis mad at me, and you mightget into trouble. i'm not afraidof a witch! i'm not afraidof anything... excepta lighted match! i don't blame youfor that. i'd face a box of themto get some brains. i won't be any troublebecause i don't eat.

i won'ttry to manage thingsbecause i can't think. won't youtake me with you? why, of course i will. hooray! we're off to seea wizard! you're notstarting out very well. oh, i'll try.really. to oz? to oz!

♪ we're offto see the wizard ♪ ♪ we hear he isa whiz of a wiz ♪ ♪ the wizard of ozis one because ♪ ohhh! apples! oh, look! ouch! what are you doing? we've been walkinga long ways,

and i was hungry and-- did you say something? she was hungry. she was hungry! would you like someone picking somethingoff of you? oh, dear! i keep forgettingi'm not in kansas. come along, dorothy.

you don't want any of those apples! is something wrongwith them? no. it's justthat she doesn't likelittle green worms. oh, you! i'll show you howto get apples! hooray! i guessthat did it. help yourself. [bang bang] [bong bong]

why, it's a man... a man madeout of tin! [clunk] oil. oilca... did you saysomething? oilcan. he said oilcan. oilcan what?

oilcan? uh... here it is! where do you wantto be oiled first? my mouth. he saidhis mouth! the other side. [squeak squeak] [squeak squeak squeak]

m-m-m-m-m... my goodness! i can talk again! oh, oil my arms,please. oil my elbows. oh! ohhh! [squeak] ah! did that hurt? feels wonderful. i've held that ax upfor ages. goodness! how did you everget like this? well, about a year ago,i was chopping that tree when suddenlyit began to rain. right in the middleof a chop, i rusted solid. i've been that wayever since. well, you'reperfect now.

my neck. perfect? bang on my chestif you think i'm perfect. go ahead! bang on it. [clunk clunk] beautiful! what an echo! it's empty. the tinsmith forgotto give me a heart.

no heart? no heart. all hollow. ♪ when a man'san empty kettle ♪ ♪ he should beon his mettle ♪ ♪ and yeti'm torn apart ♪ ♪ just becausei'm presumin' ♪ ♪ that i couldbe kind of human ♪ ♪ if i only hada heart ♪

♪ i'd be tender ♪ ♪ i'd be gentle ♪ ♪ and awful sentimental ♪ ♪ regarding love and art ♪ ♪ i'd be friendswith the sparrows ♪ ♪ and the boywho shoots the arrows ♪ ♪ picture me ♪ ♪ a balcony ♪ ♪ above,a voice sings low ♪

wherefore art thou, romeo? [thump thump] ♪ i hear a beat ♪ ♪ how sweet ♪ ♪ just to registeremotion ♪ ♪ jealousy ♪ ♪ devotion ♪ ♪ and really feelthe part ♪ ♪ i could stayyoung and chipper ♪

♪ and i'd lock itwith a zipper ♪ ♪ if i only hada heart ♪♪ [toot! toot!] are you all right? i'm afraidi'm a little rusty. oh, dear!that was wonderful. we were wondering-- why not come with usto the emerald city and ask the wizardfor a heart?

suppose the wizardwouldn't give me one? oh, but he will. he must! we've comesuch a long way already. you call that long? why, you'vejust begun! helping the littlelady along are you, gentlemen? well, stay awayfrom her,

or i'll stuffa mattress with you! and you... i'll use youfor a beehive. here, scarecrow! want to play ball? oh! help! fire! i'm burning! i'm not afraidof her.

i'll see you get safelyto the wizard now, whether i geta brain or not! i'll see you reachthe wizard, whether i geta heart or not. let her try and makea beehive out of me. oh, you're the best friendsanybody ever had. and it's funny... i feel i've knownyou all the time. i couldn't have,could i?

you weren't aroundwhen i was stuffed. and i was standingover there rusting for the longesttime. still, i wishi could remember. but i guessit doesn't matter, anyway. we know each other now,don't we? we do. to oz. [hoo hoo hoo]

i don't likethis forest. it's... it's darkand creepy. of course,i don't know, but i thinkit'll get darker before itgets lighter. do you suppose we'll meetany wild animals? hmm. we might. animals thateat...straw?

some, but mostly lionsand tigers and bears. lions? tigers? and bears. lions and tigersand bears! oh, my! rooaaarrr! grrowph! growph!

put 'em up. put 'em up! which oneof you first? i'll fight youboth together. i'll fight you withone paw behind my back. i'll fight youon one foot. i'll fight youwith my eyes closed. oh, pulling an axon me, eh? sneaking upon me, eh?

why... ruff! ruff! let us alone. oh, scared, huh? afraid, huh? how long can youstay fresh in that can? come on! get up and fight,you shivering junkyard! put your hands up,you lopsided bag of hay!

that's getting personal. yes. get upand teach him a lesson. what's wrong with youteaching him? well, i hardlyknow him. i'll get you,anyway, peewee. no! growl! growl! grrra-- shame on you!

what did youdo that for? i didn'tbite him! no, but youtried to. it's bad enoughpicking on a straw man, but little dogs! you didn't have togo and hit me,did you? is my nosebleeding? well, of course not. my goodness,what a fuss you're making.

naturally, when yougo around picking on things weaker than you are... why, you're nothingbut a great big coward! right.i am a coward! i haven'tany courage at all. i even scare myself. look at the circlesunder my eyes. i haven't sleptin weeks. why don't youcount sheep?

that doesn't work.i'm afraid of them. oh, that'stoo bad. don't you thinkthe wizard could help him,too? i don't seewhy not. we're goingto see the wizard to get him a heart. and him a brain. he could give yousome courage.

wouldn't youfeel degraded being seenin the company of a cowardlylion? i would. gee, that'sawfully nice of you. my life has beensimply unbearable. well, it'sall right now. the wizardwill fix everything. it's been in meso long,

i just got totell you how i feel. well, come on. ♪ yeah, it's sad,believe me, missy ♪ ♪ when you're bornto be a sissy ♪ ♪ withoutthe vim and verve ♪ ♪ but i couldshow my prowess ♪ ♪ be a lionnot a mouse ♪ ♪ if i onlyhad the nerve ♪ ♪ i'm afraidthere's no denyin' ♪

♪ i'm justa dandy lion ♪ ♪ a fatei don't deserve ♪ ♪ i'd be braveas a blizzard ♪ ♪ i'd be gentleas a lizard ♪ ♪ i'd be cleveras a gizzard ♪ ♪ if the wizardis a wizard ♪ ♪ who will serve ♪ ♪ then i'm sureto get a brain ♪ ♪ a heart ♪

♪ a home ♪ ♪ the nerve ♪ ♪ ohh... ♪ aha! so you won'ttake warning, eh? all the worsefor you, then. i'll take careof you now instead of later! when i gainthose ruby slippers,

my power will bethe greatest in oz! now, my beauties, something with poisonin it, i think... with poison in it, but attractiveto the eye and soothingto the smell. heh-heh-heh-heh! poppies. poppies willput them to sleep.

sleep. now they'll sleep. there's emerald city! oh, we're almost there! at last! at last! it's beautiful,isn't it? just like i knewit would be. he must bea wonderful wizardto live there. let's hurry.

yes. let's run. hurry! hurry! look! emerald city! what's happening? what is it? i can't run anymore. i'm so sleepy. give us your hands,and we'll pull you.

i have to restfor just a minute. toto. where's toto? you can't rest.we're nearly there. don't cry!you'll rustyourself again! come to think of it, 40 winkswouldn't be bad. don't youstart it, too! we ought to tryand carry dorothy. i don'tthink i could.

we could try. oh, look at him! this is terrible. here, tin man,help me! this is terrible! can't budge heran inch! this is a spell! it's the wickedwitch! what will we do?

help! help! it's no usescreaming. nobody willhear you. it's snowing! no, it isn't. yes, it is! maybe thatwill help! oh, but itcouldn't help. it does help.

dorothy,you're waking up! [yawn] unusual weatherwe're having, ain't it? he's rusted again! oh, give methe oilcan, quick! he is rusted! here. oh, quick. curses! curses!

somebody alwayshelps that girl. but shoes or no shoes, i'm still great enoughto conquer her. woe to thosewho interfere! come on!let's get out of here! look! emerald cityis closer now. ♪ you're out of the woods, you're out of the dark ♪ ♪ you're out of the night ♪ ♪ step into the sun, step into the light ♪

♪ keep straight ahead for the most glorious place ♪ ♪ on the face of the earth ♪ ♪ or the stars ♪ ♪ hold on to your breath, hold on to your heart ♪ ♪ hold on to your hope ♪ ♪ march up to the gate and bid it open ♪ to the emerald cityas fast as lightning! ♪ march up to the gate and bid it ♪ ♪ open ♪

♪ open ♪♪ [clang clang clang] who rang that bell? we did! can't you readthe notice? what notice? it's on the door as plain as the noseon my face! oh...uh...

tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. "bell out of order... please knock." well, that'smore like it. now, stateyour business. we want to seethe wizard. the wizard? but nobody can seethe great oz! nobody's everseen the great oz.

even i've neverseen him. well, then how do you knowthere is one? becausehe's--i... you're wastingmy time! oh, please!please, sir! i must see the wizard. the good witchof the north sent me! prove it! she's wearingthe ruby slippersshe gave her!

oh, so she is! well,bust my buttons. why didn'tyou say thatin the first place? that's a horse ofa different color! come on in! cabby! cabby! just whatyou're looking for. take you anyplacein the city, we does. would you take usto see the wizard?

the wizard?i can't... well...yes, of course. but first i'll take youwhere you can tidy up. oh, thank you so much! we've been gonesuch a long time, and we feel so mess-- what kind ofa horse is that? i've never seen a horselike that before. never will again.

there's onlyone of him. he's the horse ofa different color you've heard about. ha ha ha!ho ho ho! ♪ and a coupleof tra la las ♪ ♪ that's howwe laugh the day away ♪ ♪ in the merryold land of oz ♪ ♪ bzz bzz bzz ♪ ♪ chirp chirp chirp ♪

♪ and a coupleof la de das ♪ ♪ that's how the cricketscrick all day ♪ ♪ we get up at 12:00 ♪ ♪ and startto work at 1:00 ♪ ♪ take an hourfor lunch ♪ ♪ and thenat 2:00 we're done ♪ jolly good fun! with a ho ho ho!ha ha ha! ♪ patch patch here ♪

♪ patch patch there ♪ ♪ and a couple ofbrand-new straws ♪ ♪ that's how we keep youyoung and fair ♪ ♪ rub rub here ♪ ♪ rub rub there ♪ ♪ whether you'retin or bronze ♪ ♪ that's how wekeep you in repair ♪ ♪ we can makea dimpled smile ♪ ♪ out of a frown ♪

♪ can you evendye my eyes ♪ ♪ to match my gown? ♪ uh-huh. ♪ jolly old town ♪ ♪ clip clip here ♪ ♪ clip clip there ♪ ♪ we givethe roughest claws ♪ ♪ that certain air of savoir-faire ♪ ha ha ha!

ho ho ho! ha ha ha ha! with a ha ha ha! ha haha ha ha ha! ♪ in the merryold land of oz ♪♪ ha ha-- eh! heh-heh-heh! heh-heh-heh! who's her?who's her?

it's the witch.she's followed us. dorothy?who's dorothy? the wizardwill explain it. the wizard! whatevershall we do? hurry. we'll seethe wizard. hear! hear! hear! everything is all right. stop that now.

it's all right! the great and powerful oz has got matterswell in hand... i hope. there's nothingto worry about. get out of here!go on! go on. go on home! and, uh...go home. we want to seethe wizard right away.

orders are nobodycan see the great oz! not nobody. not nohow! please. it'svery important. i got a permanent just forthe occasion. not nobody.not nohow! but she's dorothy. the witch's dorothy? hmmph!

well, that makesa difference. just, uh...wait here. i'll announce youat once. did youhear that? i've as goodas got my brain. i can hearmy heart beating. i'll be homefor supper. i'll be kingof the forest. long live the king!

[fanfare] ♪ if i ♪ ♪ were king ♪ ♪ of the forest ♪ ♪ not queen ♪ ♪ not duke ♪ ♪ not prince ♪ ♪ my regal robes ♪ ♪ would be satin ♪

♪ not cotton ♪ ♪ not chintz ♪ ♪ i'd command each thing ♪ ♪ be it fish or fowl ♪ ♪ with a woof ♪ ♪ and a woof ♪ ♪ and a royal growl ♪ woof. ♪ as i click my heel ♪

♪ all the treeswould kneel ♪ ♪ and the mountains bow ♪ ♪ and the bulls kowtow ♪ ♪ and the sparrow ♪ ♪ would take wing ♪ ♪ each rabbit wouldshow respect to me ♪ ♪ the chipmunksgenuflect to me ♪ ♪ though my tailwould lash ♪ ♪ i would show compash ♪

♪ for every underling ♪ ♪ just ♪ ♪ king ♪ ♪ monarch of all i survey ♪ ♪ mo-o-o-o-narch ♪ ♪ of all i survey ♪♪ if you were king, you wouldn't beafraid of anything? not nobody! not nohow!

not evena rhinoceros? imposserous. a hippopotamus? i'd trashhim from topto bottomus. an elephant? i'd wrap himin cellophant. a brontosaurus? i'd show himwho was kingof the forest. how?

courage. what makes a kingout of a slave? what makes the flagon the mast to wave? what makes the elephantcharge his tusk in the misty mistor the dusky dusk? what makes the muskratguard his musk? what makes the sphinxthe seventh wonder? what makes the dawncome up like thunder? what makesthe hottentot so hot?

what puts the apein apricot? what do they gotthat i ain't got? you can saythat again. huh? the wizardsays go away. go away? looks likewe came a long wayfor nothing. and i was so happy.

i thought i wason my way home. don't cry, dorothy. we'll get youto the wizard. we certainly will. auntie em was so good to me. i never appreciated it... running away and hurting her feelings. professor marvelsaid she was sick.

she may be dying, and it's all my fault. oh, i'll neverforgive myself. never, never, never. [boo hoo] please don't cryanymore. i'll get youin to the wizardsomehow. come on. i had an aunt emmyself once.

[boo hoo hoo] wait a minute,fellows. i was thinking... i really don't wantto see the wizardthis much. i'll wait outside. what'sthe matter? he's justscared again. don't you knowthe wizard will give yousome courage?

i'd be too scaredto ask him for it. then we'llask him for you. i'd soonerwait outside. why? why? because i'mstill scared. oooooh! what happened? somebodypulled my tail. oh, you did ityourself.

i... here.come on. come forward! tell me whenit's over. look at that!look at that! i want to go home! i am oz, the greatand powerful. who are you?

if you please... i am dorothy... the small and meek. we've come to ask you-- silence! oh, jiminy crickets! the greatand powerful oz knows whyyou have come. step forward,

tin man! you dare to cometo me for a heart, do you? you clinking,clanking, clattering, collectionof caliginous junk! y-y-yes, sir. y-y-yes, your honor. you see, a while back, we were walking downthe yellow brick road and-- quiet!

ohhhh! and you, scarecrow, have the effronteryto ask for a brain, you billowing baleof bovine fodder! yes, your honor-- i mean your excellency. i--i mean your wizardry. enough! uh, and you,

lion! well? you ought to beashamed of yourself, frightening himlike that when he cameto you for help! silence, whippersnapper! the beneficent ozhas every intention of grantingyour requests.

what's that? what did he say? but first,you must proveyourselves worthy by performinga very small task. bring me the broomstickof the witchof the west. b-b-but we'llhave to kill her. bring meher broomstick, and i'll grantyour requests. now, go!

b-b-but what ifshe kills us first? i said go! oooh! oooh! oooh! ooooh! [caww] [kwaa] [kwaa kwaa] "i'd turn backif i were you." ruff!

[tweee] aah! aah! oh, look! l-- [tweee tweee] i believe there arespooks around here. that's ridiculous--spooks. don't youbelieve in spooks? no. why, only--oh! oh! tin man.

oh, are youall right? i do believe in spooks. i do! i do! i do! i do believein spooks. i do! you'll believein more than that before i'vefinished with you! take your armyto the haunted forest and bring methat girl and her dog.

i want her aliveand unharmed! i've sent a littleinsect on ahead to take the fightout of them! take special careof those ruby slippers. i want those most of all! now fly! fly! fly! fly! fly! [eee! ooo!] go away now!

aah! aah! ohh! ohh! toto! toto! help! toto! help! help! help! oh, well, whathappened to you? they threw my legsover there! they threwmy chest over there! well, that's youall over. they sure knockedthe stuffingsout of you.

put me together! we've got tofind dorothy! what a nice little dog. and you, my dear, what an unexpectedpleasure. it's so kind of you to visit mein my loneliness. [hissing] what are you going todo with my dog?

give him back! all in good time,my little pretty. oh, pleasegive me back my dog! certainly,certainly... when you give methose slippers. the good witchof the northtold me not to. throw that basketin the riverand drown him. no! no! no! here. youcan have yourold slippers,

but give meback toto! i knewyou'd see reason. aaaah! i'm sorry.i didn't do it. can i stillhave my dog? no! fool that i am, i should haveremembered! those slipperswill never come off as long asyou're alive.

but that's notwhat's worrying me. it's how to do it. these thingsmust be done delicately, or you hurt the spell. run, toto! run! catch him, you fool! aarghh! he got away!he got away! which is morethan you will!

drat youand your dog! you've beenmore trouble to methan you're worth, but it'll soonbe over now! do you see that? that's how much longeryou've got to be alive, and it isn't long,my pretty! i can't wait foreverto get those shoes! i'm frightened. i'm frightened,auntie em!

i'm frightened! where are you? it's's auntie em. we're tryingto find you. i'm here in oz,auntie em. i'm lockedin the witch's castle, and i'm tryingto get home to you! oh, auntie em,don't go away! come back!come back!

auntie em!auntie em! come back! i'll give youauntie em,my pretty. there's toto. where didhe come from? why, don't you see? he's come to take usto dorothy. come on, fellows! i--i--

i hope my strengthholds out. i hope your tailholds out. oh! oh! what's that?what's that? that's the castleof the wicked witch. dorothy's inthat awful place? we've got toget her out. [sob] don't cry. there'sno oilcan.

you've beensqueakingenough already. who's them? ♪ oh yee oh ♪ ♪ yo um ♪ ♪ yo um ♪♪ i've got a planto get in there. fine. he's got a plan. you're goingto lead us. yeah!

yes, you. i got to get herout of there? i'll go in therefor dorothy. wicked witchor no wicked witch, guards or no guards. i'll tear 'em apart. i may notcome out alive, but i'mgoing in there. there's only one thingi want you to do...

talk me out of it. no, you don't. now, wait a minute... shh! a-a-a-a-ah! ohh! look out!look out! look out! ♪ yo um... ♪ i've gotanother idea.

do--do you thinkit will be polite dropping inlike this? ♪ oh yo ♪♪ where do we go now? yeah. there! wait! we bettermake sure! dorothy,are you in there? it's us!

yes! it's me! she's locked me in! we got toget her out. oh, hurry.please, hurry! the hourglassis almost empty! stand back! oh, toto! oh, lion! i knewyou'd come!

hurry! we've gotno time to lose! going so soon? i wouldn'thear of it. why, my littleparty's justbeginning. trapped! trappedlike mice--rats. don't hurt themright away. we'll let themthink about ita little first. arghhh! seize them!

stop them,you fools! seize them!seize them! we've got them! half go this way!half go that way! where dowe go now? this way! back! back! oh! oh! oh! well...ring aroundthe rosy,

a pocket full of spears. thought you'd bepretty foxy. well, the last to go will see the first threego before her... and your mangylittle dog, too! how about a little fire,scarecrow? no! no! help!i'm burning! i'm burning!i'm burning!

don't throwthat water! you cursed brat! look whatyou've done! i'm melting!melting! oh, what a world! who wouldhave thought a good littlegirl like you could destroymy beautifulwickedness? oh, look out!

look out! i'm going! aaah... she's--she's've killed her. i didn't meanto kill her. it's just thathe was on fire. hail to dorothy! the wicked witchis dead! hail!hail to dorothy!

the broom! may we have it? please. and take itwith you. oh, thank youso much! we can tell the wizardthe wicked witch is dead! can i believe my eyes? why have you come back? please, sir. we've donewhat you told us. we've brought youthe broomstick

we melted her. oh, you liquidatedher, eh? very resourceful. yes, sir. so we'd like youto keep your promise. not so fast.not so fast! i'll have togive the mattera little thought. go away and comeback tomorrow! tomorrow?

i wantto go home now! you've had plentyof time already. do notarouse the wrath of the greatand powerful oz! i saidcome back tomorrow! if you weregreat and powerful, you'd keepyour promises! do you presumeto criticizethe great oz, you ungratefulcreatures?

think yourselveslucky that i'm giving youaudience tomorrow instead of 20 yearsfrom now! the great ozhas spoken! pay no attentionto that manbehind the curtain! oh, i--i am the greatand powerful... wizard of oz. you are? i don't believe you.

no, i'm afraidit's true. there'sno other wizard. you humbug! yes, that's exactly so.i'm a humbug. oh! you'rea very bad man. oh, no, my dear. i'm a very good man. i'm justa very bad wizard. what aboutthe tin man's heart

and cowardly lion'scourage? and scarecrow'sbrain! anybody can have a brain. that's a mediocrecommodity. every pusillanimous creaturethat crawls on the earth or slinksthrough slimy seas has a brain. where i'm from,we have universities where men goto become great thinkers.

they think deep thoughts, and with no more brainsthan you have. they have somethingyou haven't got-- a diploma. therefore, by virtueof the authorityvested in me by the universitatus committeeatum e pluribus unum, i hereby conferupon you the honorary degreeof th.d.

th.d.? yeah. that's doctorof thinkology. the sumof the square roots of two isoscelestriangle sides equalsthe square root of the remainingside. oh, joy! rapture! i've got a brain! how can i everthank you?

you can't. you're a victim ofdisorganized thinking. you're underthe unfortunate delusion that simply becauseyou run away from danger, you have no courage. you're confusingcourage with wisdom. where i'm from,we have heroes. once a year, they taketheir fortitudeout of mothballs

and parade itdown main street. they haveno more couragethan you have, but they haveone thing thatyou haven't got-- a medal. therefore, formeritorious conduct, extraordinaryvalor, conspicuousbravery againstwicked witches, i award youthe triple cross.

you're a memberof the legionof courage. shucks, folks,i'm speechless. as for you, my galvanizedfriend, you want a heart. you're luckyyou don't have one. hearts willnever be practical until they can bemade unbreakable. but i...i still want one.

where i'm from,there are men who do nothingbut good deeds. they are calledphila--phila-- good-deed doers, and their heartsare no biggerthan yours. a testimonial. therefore,in considerationof your kindness, i take pleasurein presenting you with a small tokenof our esteemand affection.

and remember,my sentimentalfriend, a heart isn't judged by how much you love, but by how muchyou are lovedby others. oh... [ticking] oh, it ticks! listen.look. it ticks. read whatmy medal says--"courage." ain't itthe truth?

oh, they'reall wonderful! hey! whatabout dorothy? yes, howabout dorothy? yeah,dorothy next. yeah, dorothy, uh... i don't thinkthere's anythingin that bag for me. the only wayto get dorothyback to kansas is for meto take herthere myself. oh, will you?could you?

are you a clever enoughwizard to manage it? child, you cut meto the quick. i'm an old kansasman myself, born in the heartof the westernwilderness. premier balloonist par excellence to the miraclewonderlandcarnival company... until one day, while performingfeats ofstratospheric skill never beforeattemptedby civilized man,

an unfortunatephenomena occurred-- the balloonfailed to return. weren't youfrightened? frightened? i've laughedin the face of death, sneered at doom,and chuckledat catastrophe. i was petrified. then suddenlythe wind changed, and the balloonfloated downinto this city,

where i wasacclaimed oz, thefirst wizard deluxe. times beingwhat they were, i accepted the job, retaining my balloonagainst the advent of a quick getaway. and in that balloon,my dear dorothy, you and i will return to the land of e pluribus unum. my friends,my friends.

i mean, my friends! yay! this is positivelythe finest exhibition ever to be shown-- well, be thatas it may, i, your wizard per ardua ad alta, am about to embarkupon a hazardous and technicallyunexplainable journey into the outerstratosphere...

to confer, converse,and otherwise hobnob with my brother wizards. and i hereby decreethat until what time-- if any-- that i return, the scarecrow, by virtueof his highly superior brains, shall rule in my stead, assisted by the tin man, by virtue ofhis magnificent heart,

and the lion,by virtue of his courage. obey them as you would me. [meow] oh, toto,come back! oh, don't gowithout me! i'll be rightwith you! stop that dog! this is a highlyirregular procedure! absolutelyunprecedented!

ruined my exit! come back! don'tgo without me! i can't come back. i don't knowhow it works. goodbye, folks. goodbye! oh, now i'll neverget home. stay with us,then, dorothy. we all love you.

we don'twant you to go. oh, that'svery kind of you, but this couldnever be like kansas. auntie em must havestopped wondering what happenedto me by now. oh, scarecrow,what am i going to do? here's someonewho can help you. oh, willyou help me? you don't needto be helpedany longer.

you've alwayshad the power to go backto kansas. then why didn'tyou tell her before? she wouldn't havebelieved me. she had to learn itfor herself. what have youlearned, dorothy? i think thatit wasn't enough just to want to seeuncle henry and auntie em. and it's that...

if i ever go lookingfor my heart's desire again, i won't look any furtherthan my own backyard, because if itisn't there, i never really lost itto begin with. is that right? i should havethought of it. i should havefelt it in my heart. she had tofind out herself. those slipperswill take you homein two seconds.

toto, too? toto, too. now? wheneveryou wish. that's too wonderfulto be true! oh, it's goingto be so hard to say goodbye. i love you all, too. goodbye, tin man.

oh, don't cry. you'll rustso dreadfully. here'syour oilcan. goodbye. now i knowi've got a heart becauseit's breaking. goodbye, lion. you know, i knowit isn't right, but i'm going to miss

the way you used toholler for help before you foundyour courage. i would neverhave found it if it hadn'tbeen for you. i think i'll miss youmost of all. are you ready now? say goodbye, toto. yes, i'm ready now. then closeyour eyes

and tap yourheels togetherthree times... and thinkto yourself, "there's no placelike home. there's no placelike home." there's no placelike home. [crash] there's no place like home. no place... wake up, honey. place like home. there's no... what-- dorothy.dorothy, dear. it's aunt em,darling. oh, auntie em, it's you. hello, there.anybody home? i just dropped by becausei heard the little girl got caughtin the big--

well, she seemsall right now. she gotquite a bump. we thoughtshe was going toleave us. but i did leave you! i tried to get backfor days and days. lie quiet now. you just hada bad dream. remember me,your old pal hunk? me, hickory?

you couldn't forgetmy face, could you? no. but itwasn't a dream. it was a place, and youand you and you and you were there! but you couldn'thave been, could you? we dream lotsof silly things-- no, aunt em. this was a realtruly live place!

some of itwasn't very nice, but most of itwas beautiful. all i kept saying was,"i want to go home," and they sent me home! doesn't anybodybelieve me? of coursewe believe you,dorothy. but, anyway, toto,we're home! home... and this is my room,and you're all here...

and i'm not goingto leave here ever,ever again, because i love you all. and...oh, auntie em... captioning performed bythe national captioninginstitute, inc. public performance of captionsprohibited without permission ofnational captioning institute

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